Just in case you guys can't remember, Sam got angry at John and refused to write down the instructions he was giving the boys. He handed the phone to Dean, who was told to stop looking for John and just copy down some names. John didn't ask how he was, he only asked Sam. The scene cut away without us seeing Dean's emotions after the phone call, so I guessed this is how he was probably feeling.
Dean hung up, looking serious.
"What did he say?" Amie asked, shuffling closer to Dean, who was staring at the phone in his hands. He swallowed and shook his head.
"Told me to write down some names," he mumbled. "That was it."
Amie looked up at Dean with sympathy, sighing. Sam walked out of the room, huffing angrily at the rudeness of their Dad. She wanted to hug him, to comfort him… but she sensed that he didn't want someone to look after him at the moment. He wanted to be strong.
But the way he had spoken to his Dad. He had sounded like a soldier following orders.
"Let's see them names then," Amie said, holding out her hand. Dean handed them to her, disappointed. He let go of the thin, fragile paper, the only evidence his Dad was still alive.
She glanced at them absentmindedly, listening intently to Dean's slow breathing, trying to get a grasp on how hurt he was. She could not tell anything about how he felt, and wondered how long he had been practicing the art of feeling nothing.
Sam walked past them and out of the room, muttering something about waiting in the Impala. Amie looked up at Dean, who was staring at his bed as if it had done him some great injustice.
"Dean," she whispered.
"No chickflick moments, remember?" He said in a shaky voice. Amie stared at him, a pitiful look on her face. Dean licked his lips and looked up at her, tears in his eyes. "I thought he would say more than instructions."
"Oh, honey," Amie whispered, as Dean's face crumbled and he began crying. She stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, closing her eyes.
"I thought he'd be happy I was looking for him, you know. But he told me to stop. Like I'm holding him back or something, doing him wrong. I'm his goddamn son, and he didn't even ask if I was okay," he choked into Amie's hair, his own emotions exploding. "I'm not surprised. I'm a disgrace."
Amie pulled away, placing a hand on either of Dean's shoulders, and looking directly into his watery green eyes.
"Dean. You are amazing, you are great. Your Dad loves you, so so much," Amie said, her throat beginning to feel tight as she remembered her own Dad. "Yes, your Dad treats you like a soldier… but he does it to protect you. Dean, you're the most incredible person I have ever met."
"I'm a nobody, I'm not important. I'm a disgrace… My Dad hates me. I hate myself," Dean whispered, staring at the floor emptily.
"Dean, hey." Amie said, moving into his heartbroken eye line. "You are everything. You are a real life hero, you saved me so many times I can never repay you. Don't ever hate yourself," she whispered, pulling him close firmly. "You're everything."
Dean held onto her tightly until the tears stopped falling like rain, as Amie tried to hold back her tears too.
"I don't know what to do," he mumbled, finally controlling his tears.
"I'll tell you," Amie said softly. "You will be Dean Winchester. You will go out there, and be an amazing hunter, and please your Dad. You will allow Sam to moan, but not bitch about your Dad. You will be a goddamn warrior, charming, intelligent. You will save lives. Then at the end of the day we will go back to our own hotel room, and I will help you forget. Okay?"
"Okay," Dean promised. He leant down and pressed his lips sloppily to hers. "I love you."
"I love you too," she replied in a hushed voice. Dean took a deep, steadying breath, then started walking out to the Impala confidently, as if no tears or words had ever been shared.