Amie opened her eyes. The room around her shifted, the lights increasing in intensity. Everything was so sharp, so clear.
Shapes moved around her, the silhouettes of doctors rushing around. She Heard someone shouted, and people shouting back to "Stay calm."
Why did they need to stay calm? She was the one who was now back in her body, strangers surrounding her. She was the one who had wanted to die.
Where was Dean? She didn't want these strangers crowding her, just Dean. He would make it okay. He would make the buzzing in her head diminish.
Suddenly she felt a great calm come over her organs, muscles. She relaxed back into the bed as sleep overcame her.
(o(o(o(o(0)o)o)o)o)
When she fell unconscious again, she had a dream. The kind of dream that's a memory, only slightly different.
She was back in her childhood home. She was colouring this picture that she had drawn when she was six, on the worst day of her life.
Rain fell quickly and heavily on the roof, speckled the windows. The sky was dark grey.
On the worst day of Amie's life it had been sunny, midsummer. There was no rain crashing on the roof of her house. In her dream it was always pouring, though. The rain fell so thickly she thought she could drown in it.
Suddenly she heard a scream, and even though she knew it was coming and why, it made Amie's skin crawl and her heart race. She stood up and ran up the shifting stairs, to her mother's bedroom. She burst in.
Her mother lay on the floor. Amie didn't want to look, because of course she remembered exactly what her mother's dead body looked like.
But she couldn't stop. She saw her mother, pale white and unmoving. Her brown, curled hair was spread out on the floor, some falling across her face. Her lips were parted slightly, her eyebrows raised as if she was shocked. Her eyes stared at the floor, seeing nothing. Shey were empty and lifeless.
Over her crouched a man, covered in the same coloured blood that stained her Mother's neck. His teeth were grotesquely yellow and sharp, his eyes wild and satisfied.
Amie screamed. The man stood up quickly, like a movie being fast-forwarded, and laughed. He then rushed over to the window and paused on the window ledge, to look back at her once more.
The ugly eyes of the man flashed dangerously as he lifted a finger to his lips.
"Shhh."
The dream began again.
(o(o(o(o(0)o)o)o)o)
The first thing Amie could do was hear.
She was aware of the sharp beeping next to her, could hear the steady rhythm of machines, indicating that everything was fine inside of her. Underneath that sound was a quieter, comforting sound. Familiar.
She could hear breathing. Deep, slow breathing, of someone incredibly calm, or sleeping.
Then she could feel.
She felt crisp, thin sheets over her body. For the first time in what felt like forever, she could feel Dean's hand in hers. She felt the warmth radiating through his rough skin, warming her small, cold hand.
She squeezed it.
She could feel Dean's hand jump in hers, his grip tightening. Then she sensed him shift closer to her.
"Amie? Amie, baby?"
Amie heard the hope in Dean's voice, and it made her want to be present. She wanted to see his face and know he can see her.
She forced open her eyes.
"Amie, oh god, I love you so so much," He mumbled, kissing her hand. She looked at him wearily, her vision blurry. Amie smiled half heartedly at him, trying to force her tired face to work for him. "Do you feel okay? Do you need drugs?"
Amie croaked weakly, "I'm fine. Dean, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry! I love you, Amie, so much. I thought - I thought this was it."
Dean ducked his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. Amie struggled, slowly and gently, to touch his cheek; she caressed his face, her soft skin on his.
"I'll never leave you, Dean. I promise, I could never leave you," she whispered. Dean kissed her palm.
"But you did, you were gone, I could feel it," he mumbled.
"I was here the whole time Dean. I never left. I heard everything, saw everything."
Dean nodded. "Just… never do anything like that again, okay?"
Amie smiled. "Didn't do it on purpose, did I?"
"I'm serious, Amie. Please, know that you are my everything," he whispered. "I'm gonna protect you from now on, okay?"
"Okay," Amie said comfortingly, Dean still in tears. Amie opened her arms and Dean leant into them, crying slightly. "Shhh, it's okay."
"I love you, so freaking much," he choked.
"Love you too Dean," Amie whispered.
Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around Amie.
"Stay with me," he breathed.
"Forever."