Disclaimer: FFVII and its characters are not mine, I'm just a fan with a overly active imagination.

Chapter 9

Tifa felt slightly silly for holding her breath as she stepped outside, thinking of and counting the number of days it had been since she had last left her bar. Two weeks. It had been slightly over two weeks that she immersed herself completely in her occupation and two weeks since she had last spoken to Cloud.

Comparatively speaking, that wasn't so bad. She had seen him, yes, in the corners of the bar or whenever her eye happened to pass over him in her heady, overdriven state. She knew he waited to speak with her some nights long after the bar was supposed to have closed but she did her best not to give thought to the intense stares he fixed on her as she served her guests, and flirted with that cute but professional bar maid charm. She was relieved when he left or retired to his room when he couldn't wait any longer and was thankful to those that she watched over if only it meant that she didn't have to be alone with him.

She couldn't help but feel angry because of her confusion. Why was he suddenly so aware of her? Why wouldn't he just stay away, like usual? Why did he always have to look at her? Was the anguish still on her face? What did that mean to him? Why would he always walk away when she eventually did turn to him?

She was being avoidant and she knew it. Hell, some would probably call it childish even, but for Tifa, it was the best that she could do at the moment. She didn't trust herself enough to not crumble when he would undoubtedly try to explain the woman he had brought home or remember the way she giggled and gasped and moaned his name.

Barrett had called several times, worried about her. From the way he probed and pointed his questions, it sounded like Cloud had told him what happened or at least how she was currently acting. She grew angry when she thought of Barrett knowing and sounding concerned, as if every word he said was made of glass; as if she were made of glass. The kids knew nothing, which she was glad for, or at least they didn't let on… and by the time she finally allowed herself sleep, she was too exhausted to dream, and too exhausted to see Aeris.

Tifa was saddened by that, and received a whole new wave of guilt. But it seemed that no matter who gave it or even simply inquired gently, she grew angry with those who offered comfort. Her regulars who expressed their concern or even simply noted how busy she was and how she could use more help, were greeted with anger. A frown, a clenched fist, and a mug slammed down onto a wooden table, were all that rewarded her faithful customers. Every time she caught herself doing such things she would immediately apologize, broken and saddened once more.

It seemed though, that no matter how busy she made herself or consciously blinded herself to the small reminders of Cloud in their home, her heart managed to remember waking up on the shoulder of a warm, blond man as the sun began to rise on a fateful day. That was the second time they had slept together. The first time had been that fateful night up on the water tower after he told her his plans to join SOLDIER and become like the mighty Sephiroth. Her father had been furious when they finally found them up there, curled around each other, and sharing his small jacket as a makeshift blanket and the village boys had bullied him mercilessly. That was when she received the lecture that boys and girls get to an age when they see and think of each other differently. She had only half-listened for she was more concerned with that she wouldn't be able to go see him off.

The night under the Highwind was one of her most cherished memories. After their words, Cloud had smoothed his palm across her back soothingly, pushing her along that easy road to sleep and just before she nodded off, she felt his face turn into her hair, he breathed deeply, and kissed her just above her temple with a mumbled apology. She didn't know what he was apologizing for, but it didn't matter, because he was holding her to his warm body and he had kissed her.

The night sky was partially covered by large, black storm clouds that silently curled along, stealing the moon and starlight every once in a while, casting her path in darkness. She had mistaken the rumbling for thunder, but it wasn't until she could clearly see its outline in the gloom that she saw the Behemoth.

Its dark purple skin was inky black in the night and its glowing yellow eyes were like two fires, burning in hunger and maleficence. If she remembered correctly, this kind of monster wasn't too hard to defeat, but she had never taken one on alone before. It was bull-like, with two great horns on its head, held up by a muscular neck and shoulders, and a longer, serpentine tail that was waving slowly side to side as it started to take steps toward her. It was powerful, but not undefeatable.

Tifa set her jaw and easily slid back into her fighting stance, raising her fists, and narrowing her eyes at the beast. She knew she wouldn't be able to out run it, and with the way it was looking at her, it was hungry enough to chase her down until she collapsed. Her fists tightened as the leather squeaked with the pressure, and Tifa was thankful she had brought her Premium Heart, though she strongly wished for a potion or two, and better yet: materia.

With a loud cry, she took off and charged the Behemoth, dodging its horns to land blow after blow to its neck and spine. She used her momentum to flip over its head to land behind it, grabbing its thick tail, accidentally pricking herself on its spines before pulling back with all her strength and flinging it a few feet, successfully throwing it to its side. The beast bellowed as it was pulled backwards and gasped once it hit the ground.

Her head was buzzing, her fists were pulsing, and her body was burning as she fought it. Her chest rose and fell in fast even breaths as her long hair waved in the increasing wind. The fight was taking longer than she hoped, but with every punch and kick she threw, she felt more awake and energized than before. Her bright eyes were alert and wary as the beast picked itself up again, roaring in anger and pain. When it came at her again, she charged as well, but this time its spiky tail came up and whipped her, throwing her to the side, catching the side of her head. Tifa rolled as she hit the ground, wincing in pain from the impact. She swiped her temple with her forearm and frowned at the smear of blood, but when she looked up and saw it panting heavily, a stream of blood falling from its mouth, she smirked.

Her battle cry seemed to echo against the crumbling city walls as she sprinted towards the bloodthirsty creature, catching it by its horns and dragging it upwards with her in a high jump before flipping with it in the air and kicking it back down to the unrelenting ground. Her Meteor Strike didn't kill it, however, it was the Final Heavenly blow she dealt it once she landed.

It finally collapsed with a groan, dying swiftly, and acquiring that eerie stillness associated with death that Tifa still wasn't used to. Without meaning to, she thought of Vincent.

With a quick exhalation, she stretched by throwing her arms above and behind her, rising on her tip toes and squeezing her eyes shut. The Behemoth had dropped star dust as well as a phoenix down, that while wasn't as useful as it used to be, was still quite handy. She pocketed these things and continued on her way into the city and towards Sector 5.

The city was silent and almost as dead as that evil beast that now lay decimated outside. The once thriving metropolis was broken and hollow and in the process of being dismantled for usable parts in the new city just next door. There was no light except for the moon and the stars. She mentally kicked herself for not bringing a flashlight or something to help guide her way, but she practically knew the way there like the back of her hand. Getting there in the dark was a different story, however, and she couldn't help the chills that run up and down her spine whenever she heard something unfamiliar in the tomblike silence.

Tifa let out a sigh of relief once she caught sight of the church and entered it with quickened steps and a feeling of security. She mentally rolled her eyes at herself, for being so paranoid of the small noises and shadows in an empty city, when she had just trashed a Behemoth. Really.

She paused for a moment just outside of the doors as they closed, allowing her eyes to adjust to the even thicker darkness and to take in the familiar, faintly sweet fragrance of the inside air. Her soft footsteps violated the stillness and pounded in her ears, and for the time being she forgot why she had come, momentarily overcome by her heavy memories.

She kneeled down onto the flower bed and beheld the slightly glowing flowers in the brief, passing moonlight with solemn reverence. This was where Aeris came every day and tended her flowers, selling the best and most beautiful to an ugly world. This was where Cloud took refuge while he suffered from Geostigma and met Denzel. This was where Loz nearly killed her and took Marlene. This was where their child was healed. This was where… this was where Tifa fancied herself getting married one day.

Tifa moved her legs from under her and brought her knees up to her knees, holding them with her arms as she looked up at the vaulted ceiling and imagined what her wedding would be like. Even though the church was in ruins, she really couldn't think of any other place more perfect. This sacred place was undisputedly Aeris's and she felt that this would be the closest thing to sharing such an important event with her friend.

Naturally, there would be lots of flowers shipped from all over the world in all different colors. Sunlight would stream in through the holes in the ceiling and the stained glass, casting brilliant, multicolored beams of light throughout the church. Satiny, white fabric would decorate the pews and columns, and a long, white carpet would be littered with petals as the flower girl strew them about. Her dress would be simple, but elegant, with a long train and veil... and instead of a bouquet, a single flower; the only picked flower from Aeris's garden. Her family would be there… even her mother and father… and her groom would gaze at her adoringly, his eyes aglow with not just mako, but love and pure emotion for her.

As the bright church in her imagination slowly slipped away, she returned to knees and began to pick a few flowers to bring to Lace as she recalled her mission, rescuing her from her distraction. She really wasn't sure if this would work, but it was certainly worth a try, especially since Aeris had a knack for posthumous blessings. Vincent's hypothesis that the flowers that had grown from the healing water and absorbed its properties would also contain healing abilities was something she had never considered but it made sense. She wondered if he had already tested it out.

As she reached for a flower, her wolf ring somehow fell off and bounced away a few feet. She slightly panicked, hoping to not lose it in the darkness, considering its significance. The ring had been a gift from Cloud about the same time he had exchanged his borrowed SOLDIER uniform for his new, black attire. She hadn't given much thought about the wolf emblem on his shoulder other than 'why?' at the time, but now she knew that it was a tribute to the man who had saved his life.

"I know it's him, Teef… I can feel him… just like Aeris. I know they're there for us," He caught her hand and swiped back the ring she had withdrawn. "We'll… remember them together, right?" Cloud's hopeful, sincere eyes bore into hers as he slipped the ring onto her slim finger.

Tifa's heart swelled with her love for him as she nodded her assent, but was awash with guilt for not focusing on Zack's memory. He held her hand for longer than necessary, and when Tifa closed her hand over his, he smiled.

She shook the memory away as she searched. Out of the corner of her eye, a woman became visible as if she had been there all along, crouching down and caressing a flower delicately. She looked up at Tifa with sparkling green eyes and smiled warmly, filling Tifa with only a moment's worth of fear before recognition filled in, and Aeris's comforting presence enveloped her in light.

Tifa's eyes widened and her mouth opened, unable to say the things that she had wished she had told her before she died. She froze on her hands and knees, ring forgotten, and she couldn't take her eyes away from her. All this time, Aeris had never shown herself but only her presence to Tifa, but now… here she was, crouching down and smiling mischievously. Her green eyes twinkled.

Words, memories, emotions, all whirled passed her head, all vying for attention and deliverance from her heart to her tongue, but the only thing that she could say was, "I'm sorry."

Aeris gave her a face as if to say, "You're being silly," and when she opened her mouth, she abruptly looked to the side, towards the door. Without thinking, Tifa followed her gaze.

"Tifa?"

She blinked, several times, before she realized that she hadn't noticed a man had appeared next to her. Not just any man, it was Cloud who stood just feet from her. Tifa looked back, but Aeris was gone. She lowered her eyes. "And thank you."

She stood, keeping her eyes lowered, holding her small bouquet loosely, and mentally chiding herself for not expecting him to come back. With a quick, scanning glance, it appeared that he continued to camp here, despite returning to the Seventh Heaven almost every night.

"What are you doing here?" He asked softly, studying her with his gentle, blue eyes.

"I'm… testing out an idea." She replied after a moment, still not looking at him, but away to where Aeris had been.

"An idea…?" He probed, nearly matching her whisper.

"There's a girl. She has Geostigma. He suggested that the flowers might work… since this is where Aeris's healing water was."

"He?"

"Vincent."

He paused. "I see."

They were both silent.

Tifa never felt uncomfortable around him before now. She was a relative stranger to jealousy and she honestly had no way to cope. So, she did the only thing she knew how to, and locked it up within her heart. "I'm going to get going, I've probably been gone long enough."

"Wait…" Cloud caught her hand as she passed and turned to her. Tifa kept her eyes stubbornly trained on the floorboards, fully expecting to come undone if she looked up and saw him. His hand came up, his cool fingers first brushing her hair back along her temple and behind her ear before cupping her cheek gently. When he didn't say anything, she sucked in her breath and courage and pulled her eyes up to his, holding that breath. He wore an expression of concern, but his eyes were torn, unable to decide what to convey. They traveled everywhere along her face, scanning every inch, as if searching for her thoughts in her countenance. "You're bleeding."

Her hand automatically came up to the scratch on her temple from her fight, meaning to touch it gingerly but she ended up landing on Cloud's hand. They each froze, suspended in each other's eyes and touch.

They had come to that moment in choreography when two dancers finally meet, dancing alone and skirting one another until that final moment when they found each other, touching and breathing their air. It was that moment when the energy and connection was strongest between those two and it was simply overwhelming.

"Tifa…" He breathed, taking his other hand and running it through her silky hair, bringing it to the other side of her face. Tifa, as she expected, was loosing herself in his proximity, drowning in his radiant eyes. She lost her reason for being there, she lost her hurt, and she lost her self-awareness as he leaned in to her, bringing her face closer as her hand fell away from his.

Her stomach tightened pleasurably as his soft, tentative lips pressed lightly against hers, coiling tighter and tighter with every soft kiss. She was dreaming. She had to have been. Perhaps it was just another vision, like Aeris kneeling by the flowers. This wasn't really Cloud kissing her so lovingly, moving his lips with hers as if whispering song. She couldn't help the tears from escaping, thinking that this wasn't real and just some sad hallucination. The tears caught on his hands, snapping him from his own reverie unwillingly.

"You're crying," He pulled away to whisper roughly in surprise and concern.

Tifa gasped and took a step back. What was she doing?! Why had she done that?! Her hand came up to her lips in shock, her eyes wide, and her head shook in stubborn disbelief, unaware of the tears.

"I-… we shouldn't have done that." She rushed out in a forced exhalation, continuing to take a few steps away, still holding on to the flowers with a dangerous grip. Cloud's brow furrowed and he tilted his head in confusion, taking a small step towards her but stopped when she quickly held up a hand to stop him.

"Why? Why would you do that?" Tifa fixed him with a broken, panicked expression.

"Tifa… I…" He held his hands up in supplication at his sides in a confused shrug as he shook his head.

"Why? When you have that girl?" She felt her brows descend and did her best to stifle her anger. Her arms came up to hold her, to hold her emotions in.

Cloud froze and the color drained from his slightly tanned face. "What do you mean?"

Tifa straightened and narrowed her eyes. "You damn well know what I mean," she looked at him accusingly. "I heard her with you… that night."

"Tifa-" He took a large step closer, but she nearly yelled, "No!"

"Just… stop." She looked away, feeling drained. "Please."

With great effort she turned away, walking quickly out of the church, clutching her flowers to her chest. It almost seemed like a backwards marriage as she walked down the aisle, her groom at a loss for words.

She was just going the wrong way.

AN: Sorry, heh, the story just keeps getting more angsty by the chapter! The kiss wasn't meant to happen, it just sort of did when I wrote it. Apologies also on the fight scene. I've never been good at writing battles, so I kinda just plowed through it. Thank you for your kind reviews! I really appreciate hearing what you think of it and all your feedback. :)