Chapter 16

"Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me. I want to at least experience that once."

Where was he now? Where was her hero? Where was the man who had saved her countless times in the past with his devotion and strength? Where was the boy who had followed her to the mountain when no one else would? Where was the young man that had promised her under that starry sky that he would be her hero? Where was he?

She heard the city wake as the sunlight began to filter in through the windows, scrawling shadows along the walls and along her skin. There were knocks on her front door throughout the day; a few shouts here and there, and the phone rang several times.

"Hi, you've reached Strife Delivery Service. We can't answer the phone right now, but if you leave a detailed message and a way to get back to you, we'll return your call as soon we can- BEEP."

They were nearly all orders for Cloud, but twice, no message was left. Her voice sounded different on the answering machine. Perhaps she had been smiling when she recorded it?

Tifa lay on her bed with her hands folded beneath her breasts, rising and falling with every steady breath. Her thoughts focused on her inhale, drawing in the somewhat humid, stale, warm air. It was going to rain again tonight. She held the breath, sometimes until she grew light-headed, and exhaled until she was red in the face.

Her cell phone vibrated until it fell from her nightstand and the battery broke off, scattering across the floor.

But Tifa continued to breathe, eyes glued on the ceiling, letting her mind wander wherever it pleased. She thought of crimson eyes and apologetic kisses. She thought of reassuring warmth and his familiar scent. She thought of wishes and promises and the death bellows of the various things she killed. All she could do, however, was stay still, limp, and breathe.

She wondered what everyone was doing. She wondered if they were all right. Was Yuffie doing well in Wutai? Had Cid finally realized that he could breathe without cigarettes? What was the weather like at Cosmo Canyon? Was Cloud wearing the goggles she got him? Was he eating all right? Was Barrett making sure the kids did their homework and went to bed early? How was the research on the flowers coming? Where did Vincent go after he left? Had Reno broken any more of Rude's sunglasses? How was Johnny's little shop?

Merlot eyes blinked; once… twice… and slid from the ceiling to the broken phone…

Barret grumbled under his breath as he caught sight of the Seventh Heaven farther down the street, and bowed his head against the pouring rain. She was really going to have it. Not answering her phone again for days. What was she playing at?! Making them all worry about her. If only she'd listen to him already and move to Corel. It wasn't like there was much keeping her in Edge after all. He could always build her a new bar and that puppy of hers would follow her anywhere.

Damn woman is gonna be the death of me. Barret thought testily as he strode up the stairs into the warm, inviting atmosphere of the Seventh Heaven.

What first tipped him off that something was wrong was that it was barely 9 p.m. and there were already people leaving. The bar was nearly empty, quiet, and those patrons that did stick around were casting disappointed looks at the bar tender that seemed to be hiding behind the pitchers and booze.

Barret stormed behind the bar and pulled the stranger up by his shirt, "Where's Tifa?" he growled into his ashen face.

"Sh-she left!"

"Waddya' mean 'she left'?!" He shook him. "And who the fuck are you?!"

If he weren't about to piss himself, the bartender may have had the sense to be indignant that the larger man didn't recognize him.

"I'm, I'm, I'm Johnny."

Barret's eyes grew clouded in confusion as he tried to remember the name and why he should have had to.

"I used to live in Sector 7, before…"

Barret's face suddenly cleared as he remember, "Oh yeah! Yer that ex-soldier git that used to stare at Tifa's –"

"No! No, no, no… I mean, yeah, I'm him, but – I never…. You know…"

The larger, bear of a man dropped Johnny and used his gun arm to rub his chin speculatively, "Now… why are you here?....And where's Tifa?" His voice dropped as he asked him slowly.

Johnny struggled to his feet, keeping a wary eye on the man's arm, knowing full well what was encased in it. 'Sheesh… is she always surrounded by such psychotic weirdos? At least that SOLDIER kid had the decency to remember who I was."

"I dunno… she-" He didn't miss the conspicuous click of a gun. "She said that she was going somewhere and asked me to look after the bar for a while. She didn't say where."

Barret narrowed his glare.

"Honest!"

"Hey there, he's right. Saw her myself, leaving the town." An older man near the bar spoke up with a raise of his hand and a sage nod.

"Shit." The ex-Avalanche leader cursed and pulled out his phone. He knew that he would have been the first person she would call if she ever went anywhere. "Strife, would ya pick up the damn phone every once in a while? Look, it's about Tifa."

Tifa had indeed gone somewhere, without a plan, a care, or a destination. She just knew she had to get out of there. She decided, about halfway to Junon, that there really wasn't a purpose to this impromptu journey other than to simply be; see how the world had or hadn't changed. She supposed she would just travel along the coast, more-or-less, and see where her luck took her.

When she passed through Junon, she stopped by the harbor and faced the Sister Ray, bathed in the golden, setting sunlight with her hair gently floating by her face until well after the stars appeared in their velvety sky. Not many paid her attention, just those who could afford the time to take a moment and look wonderingly at the beautiful, mysterious woman gazing sadly up at the since abandoned mako canon. They wondered what had completely commandeered her thoughts as she stood there, paying no heed to the breathtaking sunset next to her. For a brief haunting moment, she thought she had smelled the gas meant to kill her in that dark chamber on the wind.

She later found a piano in a bar that night and gifted the patrons with her enchanting music for hours, playing without sheet music and ignoring all those that approached her, not touching the drinks that were sent her way in appreciation. She returned the next night and the night after, never saying a word and never playing the same song twice. The crowd in the bar had tripled by the time she left. She merely left a thank you note and a half finished composition.

Tifa spent another sunset on top of Fort Condor with her arms propped up on her knees and her expression calm and neutral, simply enjoying the warm, dry wind and the gentle sounds of the Condor. She recalled something Cid had once told her on the Highwind at this point of her journey, not intentionally, but it had simply sprung to the forefront of her mind. "No matter what your goal is… You gotta be prepared." Cid had said.

She leaned forward and pressed her mouth on her arm wondering how in the world she was supposed to prepare for anything that had happened in her life. Her mother, her father, Nibelheim, Avalanche, Aeris, Sephiroth… Vincent. She began to suppose that he meant she simply had to be emotionally prepared. She had tried, she thought defensively, goodness knows how hard she tried to be emotionally strong, but… she couldn't withstand everything. She didn't think that anyone could. Weathering life is no life. Isn't life supposed to be all about feeling all your emotions and dealing with the good and the bad?

Tifa closed her eyes and later opened them to gaze up at the rising moon. She wondered who else was watching it with her? What were the others doing? Were they thinking of her?

Unbeknownst to her, they were actually. Cid was calling every transportation manager he knew while Barret continued to rampage throughout Edge, convinced that someone knew something about where she went. Naturally, he had Johnny in babbling, quaking states every time the large, gun-toting man hit a dead end, but the poor man had no idea himself where she had gone. Yuffie helped Cid and Barret by hacking into databases and watching Tifa's debit card transactions like a hawk.

The only ones who weren't worrying themselves out of their minds were Reeves and Red XIII. They were rather collected about the whole situation and said that they trusted Tifa, no matter where she had gone, to take care of herself. They cited the fact that she had asked Johnny to step in at the Seventh Heaven for a couple of weeks and that Tifa had had the mind to withdraw plenty of cash, which meant that she didn't want to be followed. The two of them admitted to each other that they were naturally more worried about her emotional state, guessing quite correctly that she had left very upset and wouldn't have left otherwise. If they had to make a proper guess, they would have said she was merely taking a trip to clear her head.

Vincent agreed with them, however, he didn't share what had happened the night before she left. And he knew that he never would. He disappeared again, last seen with a swish of his cloak, and what may have been a pained expression, barely seen over the collar of his new crimson mantle.

Cloud hadn't bothered to talk about feelings and theories as to where and why she had gone. He merely adjusted his goggles over his eyes and sped off on Fenrir with only one destination in mind. Before he left though, he flashed Denzel and Marlene a small, reassuring smile. With that, they looked at each other and laughed happily, knowing that he'd bring her back.

But Tifa didn't know these things. She felt bad for leaving them but could only add it to the rest of her guilt to be dealt with at a later day. Her face pinched, however, when she thought of her children. She suddenly remembered that they were ending school soon for the summer and were planning on staying with her. With a sigh, she made a mental note to have a talk with them about leaving home without telling anyone, like she had, and that running away is bad.

By this point, she was now in Costa del Sol and had watched the sun rise on the bridge connecting two buildings. She had stopped in front of Cloud's villa, and wondered if he was currently using it. It would make sense if he did, considering what Yuffie had mentioned about the increase of business on that continent, but without a key or a window not blocked with a curtain, she couldn't tell. She couldn't help the brief, bitter thought of whether he ever entertained any women there. The thought left her in a dark mood the rest of the day.

She then went north to the Forgotten City… the City of the Ancients. She didn't care that Vincent was known to lurk around the Sleeping Forest, or that the others might think to look for her there; she had a very good friend to visit. Despite the eerie loneliness of the City, Tifa stayed for a couple of days, sleeping in an ancient bed or along the lake that Aeris lay. She didn't expect to be visited by the martyr, but she wondered why she didn't feel her presence in that place even though that's where her very body rested. Tifa knew Zack was with her though, catching fleeting glimpses of a large, gray wolf keeping watch at the edges of her periphery.

Without thinking, her wandering had even taken her to the very spot Sephiroth had come down and struck her. Seeing the patch of brown blood stains remaining on the stone was too much for her however and she had fainted, gaining consciousness only after falling into the water. She had had a panic attack soon after and had gulped large quantities of pristine water before she made it back to shore, hurling and falling unconscious once again. That was when Tifa prayed for forgiveness.

Many times, Tifa prayed to anyone and anything that would listen for forgiveness. To forgive the sins that stained her hands, poisoned her thoughts, and spurred the small actions that she knew were bad. She now prayed to Aeris almost as her saint and the Planet as her provider. Tifa's family had never been religious, so she knew not of the various deities worshipped around the world, nor did she have the inclination to learn them. Her opinion had been that nothing really existed unless seen. She was discovering the faults with that line of thinking, but for now, Aeris and Gaia were the two forces that she trusted in and were holding her faith.

Tifa prayed and prayed and prayed. She prayed for herself, her children, her friends, her family, the planet, the people, her sins of the past, and for the future. She prayed for health, prosperity, forgiveness, and strength. She wept while she prayed, her tears falling into Aeris's grave, dispensing crystalline waves that rippled through the entire lake. She apologized for those too.

After the City of the Ancients, she knew that she only had one other place she wished to see. So, on Chocobo, she rode to the southwest, over plains, rivers, and mountains to a little, fake town, called Nibelheim.

AN: Heh, I bet you all saw this one coming. What is any story without a journey? Perhaps obviously, the last couple of chapters are coming after this one, but I really don't know when I will have them finished and posted. The end of the semester is really kicking me hard in the face with projects and presentations, so I'm going to try and do my best to get it finished when I can.

Thank you so much for all of you who have reviewed, especially from Chapter 15. You've know idea how much I appreciate your words. :)