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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Fall swept over Hogwarts bringing in the chilled air and aromas that only autumn could bring. It was a beautiful time of year. The transition of colors and brightness was always something Ron admired about the season. It was soothing and calm. However, he didn't feel either at the moment. He was sitting outside with Hermione and Harry doing homework. At least, he was pretending to. Ron couldn't concentrate. There was too much going through his mind.

"Hey, are you alright?" Hermione asked.

"Fine," he answered without looking up at her.

"Well, you haven't turned a page in your book for almost ten minutes now," she said.

"Well, not all of us are speed readers or have the bloody book memorized already," Ron spat. There was silence. He looked up.

Hermione was staring at him with a frown on her face. "You don't have to get mad at me."

"I'm not mad. I just don't know why you have to look at me every five seconds. Can't you bug Harry for a while?" Ron asked.

A hurt expression covered her face. "Well, I didn't know I was bugging anyone. I guess I'll just go annoy someone else in the library." With that, she grabbed her books and left.

Ron rubbed his eyes and exhaled. Ever since Hermione's statement, things had become more and more intense. He never knew what to say or how to feel. "You know, I don't think making her upset is going to get you anywhere," Harry said after some time.

Ron looked to him. He was staring off toward the lake. "Where is it that I'm trying to get to Harry?"

Harry turned to him and shrugged. "I dunno. I don't want to give my opinion. I'll probably get hit." Ron was about to open his mouth but Harry smiled. "I'm kidding, Ron. I deserved it. I know it."

"No, I overreacted. I'm sorry," Ron said.

Harry nodded. "You know, I blame myself too."

"For what?" Ron asked.

Harry looked at him intently. "For Luna's death."

Ron gawked at him. "Why the hell would it be your fault?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Well, we were at Sirius's house because of me. Everyone has been risking their lives for me. If we were at the Burrow, I bet Luna's dad would have let her stay over longer."

Ron shook his head. "No, Harry, it's not your fault. None of it is. You can't blame yourself for what those death eaters did."

"Why not? You do," harry said quietly.

Ron rubbed his neck. "That's different."

Harry gave him a look. "Ron, I think that's your problem. You think you're the only person in this but you're not. Luna was my friend. She was a really good friend of mine."

"I know, that's why it's so hard to be around you," Ron confessed. "You make me think of her."

"Ron, you're supposed to," Harry breathed.

"I know, but I'm not good at dealing with this shit. Things are so complicated now," Ron breathed.

"Like how?" Harry asked.

Ron looked at him and licked his lips. He didn't know how to start. "Hermione," was all he could think of.

A small smile played on Harry's lips. "Well, she's always been that way."

"No, I'm serious. That's why I got so mad at you when you talked about me and her. There is no me and Hermione," Ron said.

"Honestly, it doesn't seem that way sometimes," Harry said.

"I'm starting to realize that, and I don't like it," Ron said.

"Ron, she's your friend. She just wants to help. I don't know why you keep pushing her away. Does she remind you of Luna too?" Harry asked.

Ron exhaled deeply. "No, and that's the problem."

They stared at each other in silence for awhile. Harry was the first speak. "I have a feeling you two are seeing things in different lights. I think you should talk to her about what you want. All I can tell you is…you need to tell where things are."

Ron nodded, "I know I do. Thanks for talking to me Harry."

Harry shrugged, "We're still friends Ron. I told you I'd be here for you." Ron smiled and for the first time in a long time felt comfortable around his best mate.

Later, Ron walked into the library to find Hermione. It wasn't hard to spot her. She was alone at a table with half a shelf of books stacked around her. "Can I talk to you?" Ron asked.

Hermione looked up at him. Her brown eyes were not open and warm. "Why? I wouldn't want to bug you again."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? Please, let's not do this. I really need to talk to you."

She sighed and stood up. "Alright, where do you want to go?"

"Let's just walk around the halls," Ron offered.

They passed through many empty corridors. They were silent. Ron didn't know how to begin. "I am really sorry about how I treated you earlier. I meant it when I said that I don't want you mad at me."

"I don't get mad. It's more hurt than anything else," Hermione said.

They continued to walk. "I don't mean to. I just…have a lot going on right now, and things are so different than how I thought they'd be."

Hermione stopped walking. She grabbed his arm. "I know Ron but-"

Ron pulled his arm away. "No, Hermione, you don't know. You have no idea what I feel."

She frowned at him. "Then help me to understand."

He sighed and licked his lips. "Hermione, ever since Luna died, you've helped me so much. I can't thank you enough for what you've done, but, this is getting too hard for me."

"What is?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Us," Ron breathed.

Hermione blinked several times. "What do you mean?"

Ron tried to ignore the slight apprehension in her voice. "Look, Luna is…was my girlfriend. I loved her very much."

Hermione rubbed her fingers together. "I know you did Ron."

"Good, I just…this isn't easy for me. When we're together I just…it becomes too much," Ron said.

"You don't like being around me? You told me that you did," Hermione said.

"I know I did but-"

"But what Ron? Just say whatever it is that you need to say," Hermione spat.

Ron took a breath. "I think we need to slow down a bit. I'm not ready for all this."

Hermione stared at him. For awhile it was blank but then suddenly, she smiled. In fact, she chuckled a bit. "Slow down, slow down? Slow down from what Ron? Where were we to begin with?"

"Hermione, you know what I mean. Me always coming to your room at night and…what you said," Ron tried.

Color flushed on her skin. "I was just being honest."

"Well, I…don't want that right now," he whispered.

A bit of moisture swelled Hermione eyes. "What…is that supposed to mean?"

Ron shook his head. "It's not just you. I'm getting too ahead of myself here."

"And as for me?" Hermione asked quietly.

He sighed, "Whatever you're looking for right now, I can't give it to you."

Hermione let a tear escape her eye. "Ron, all I've tried to do for months is be your friend. I know I can't look for anything else. You made that clear years ago." With that, she walked away from him. Ron looked after her until her figure was beyond the hall.

Ron didn't have much time to dwell on Hermione. Their first match of the season had arrived. It was Gryffindor against Slythern. Harry had them on the field for practice every second they weren't in class. It was a great escape for Ron.

He was putting his gloves on in the practice tent when Ginny came over. She smiled at him and he returned it.

"You ready for this?" she asked.

Ron chuckled a bit. "I don't think I have a choice. Besides, Harry will kill me if I'm not and can you hear to crowd?"

"Let's just go out there and wipe those smirks off their faces," Ginny said.

They team mounted their brooms and waited. Over the megaphone, Denise's voice boomed. At once, a rush of cold air hit Ron. It was laughable. He had almost forgotten that Luna would not be announcing the game. Someone touched his shoulder, looking up he saw Harry nod slightly at him.

"I'm okay," Ron whispered.

"Introducing the Gryffindor team we have Captain Harry Potter!" Denise roared.

Harry took a deep breath and flew out. Ron quickly shook his head and pulled himself together.

The game was fierce. Harry was right. Slythern was not cutting anyone slack. Ron tried his best to defend the hoops but it was a bit hard. Denise voice was echoing the stadium, not Luna's. For two years he heard her voice giving the play by plays. It was always so amusing and exciting when Luna announced. Last year was partially perfect. She would randomly say sports metaphors that only Ron understood. They were special codes for him. They made him laugh. They made him play better and boosted his confidence. It was all gone now.

Ron could barely hang on. He was distracted but determined. He would not let Harry down. He would not give everyone what they wanted. They were waiting for him to crack. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

In the end, Harry caught the snitch and ended the match 610 to 500. Ron didn't immediately run to the Common Room to celebrate. He wanted to shower. He wanted to be alone. On his way to the changing room, he ran into Draco Malfoy.

As usual, he gave him a sneer but he also had his hand out as if to shake. "Whatever this is, forget it. I'm too tired for your shit," Ron breathed walking past him.

"I bet you are tired. It must have been hard. Keeping your tears at bay," Draco called after him.

Ron turned back to him. "Excuse me?"

Draco walked up to him. "I mean, Denis announcing and not your lovely girlfriend. I'm proud of you Weasley."

Ron felt his hands shaking. "Fuck you Malfoy."

Draco chuckled, "I am sorry for your loss. The whole team is. We decided to throw the game for you."

"I'm sure you did. I definitely didn't see you try with all your might to get the snitch," Ron shot in.

Draco was unfazed, "Well, I still had to make it look like I was trying, we all did. Do you really think Hooch would have called the game in your favor if she knew we were trying to throw if because we felt sorry that you're dead girlfriend couldn't-"

Something snapped inside Ron once more. Before he knew it, he was on top of Draco digging his fist into his stomach and face. Bone hit his knuckles, blood slicked his skin. Draco kicked at him and got a hit in. Ron continued to punch. With all his might he kept punching.

He felt someone pulling him off Draco. Hagrid had him by the robes. "Mr. Weasley, Mr. Malfoy, this is no way to settle your grievances," McGonagall barked.

Ron gazed around. She, Hagrid, Harry, and a few members from both the Gryffindor and Slythern quidditch team were around. He felt blood on his upper lip. Draco had got him in the noise, but he was worst off. His face was covered in blood.

"Hagrid, please escort Mr. Malfoy to the infirmary and then straight to my office. Mr. Weasley, come with me."

Ron didn't say anything; he obeyed and followed McGonagall without saying a word to anyone. She didn't say a word either until they were inside her office and the door was closed. She crossed her arms as he took a seat in front of her desk. She took a seat behind it.

"Now, I don't see what that was about. For heaven sakes, you won," McGonagall said.

Ron shook his head and looked down. "It wasn't about the match…he…said some stuff that he shouldn't have."

"Mr. Weasley, I know Malfoy isn't the kindest boy but you could have really hurt him and-"

"He was making fun of Luna. He was saying stuff about her…being dead," Ron whispered.

There was a silence. "Mr. Weasley, look at me."

Ron obeyed. McGonagall's expression was softer, almost understanding. "I can see why that would upset you."

"Then let me go. No matter what, I would never say something like that to him. He has…no right and I had no choice," he explained.

She nodded, "Ron, I know this is really difficult for you. I know that not only as a teacher, but as a member of the order. It was unfortunate. What happened to the Lovegoods."

It was the first time Ron didn't want to roll his eyes or scream. McGonagall did not seem sympathetic or worried. She didn't say she was sorry either. She knew how terrible it was but she didn't remind Ron of it. He appreciated that more than anything. "However, it does not give you the right to hurt people. It's not just the fighting; your grades have been slipping."

"My grades always slip," Ron cut in.

"More than usual they have Mr. Weasley. Your parent's have written me. Have you thought about taking some time off?"

"No, and I don't want to. I'll be fine," Ron said.

She smiled a bit, "Good, you're a very strong young man. I think that if you put in a bit more effort in, you can make it."

Ron couldn't help but smile as well. "I hope so," he mumbled honestly.

McGonagall chuckled, "Well, you can start in detention."

"But I thought-"

"Fighting is still against school rules. Now, I'm going to go see about Mr. Malfoy. You wait here." With that, she got up and left.

Ron rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair. He rubbed at the drying blood on his lip and closed his eyes. A memory came to him.

Flash back

They were holding hands. Her tiny one was hidden in his big one. They walked and laughed about nothing until they reached the portrait leading to the Ravenclaw common room. Luna turned to him and smiled.

"Well, I had a very fun time tonight trying to keep you awake long enough to go over homework," Luna said.

Ron chuckled, "I don't know why you bother studying with me. You know tons more than I ever will."

"Well, I thought I'd try to be a good influence. Seeing is how I'm younger than you," Luna teased.

"Please, people have been trying to influence me for years, there's no point. I'll just get help from Hermione," Ron reassured.

Luna sighed, "By help you mean beg until she lets you copy a little of her paper."

Ron shrugged, "It's what I do."

Luna rolled her extremely big and wide silver eyes. "Hermione is too lovely for your own good."

"Please don't tell her that. She'll never let me forget it," Ron said.

"Well, what you need to do is get some sleep for the match tomorrow," Luna told while playing with his tie.

"Oh, it's just Hufflepuff," Ron breathed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

Luna rested her head on his chest and he ran his fingers down her long wavy hair. He loved how lengthy it was, but the ends tickled his knuckles and it made his skin sting.

"Still, you, Harry, and Ginny have worked so hard, show it. I'll make sure to root for you all as much as possible without seeming bias," she said.

Ron chuckled and looked down at her. "You are the best part of the match."

"I'm sure winning is a big part too," Luna said with a smile.

Ron traced her small mouth. "You're so beautiful."

"Well, I'm only as great as the man holding me, so I guess that makes you pretty amazing," Luna added. Ron smiled again. She always made him smile. He couldn't take it anymore; he leaned down and kissed her. Luna kissed him back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Ron lifted her a bit. He put her back down and pulled away.

She was still smiling, "I love you."

"I love you too," Ron breathed. "I'll see you tomorrow morning,"

"Okay, night love," Luna said before going into the portrait hole. Ron watched her walk through and close the door.

When he made it back to the Gryffindor common room, only Hermione was present. She was sitting on the rug with papers in front of her. Ron grinned and walked over to her.

"Still working?" he teased sitting next to her.

Hermione didn't look up but a smile formed on her lips. "Some of us don't have smart girlfriends to give us all the answers."

Ron laughed, "You read my mind. I need your help with the-"

"Forget it," Hermione breathed.

"Oh, come on, you know you want to help me. Believe it or not I have most of it written; I just need you to look over it and tell me what to do for the ending," Ron explained.

Hermione finally looked up at him. "So, what do I get?"

Ron stared at her. The light from the fire lit up her chocolate eyes. A curious look was on her face. "What do you want?" he asked.

She bit her bottom lip slowly. Ron watched her. It was a habit of hers that he noticed when they were fourteen. It was very out of character for her and he liked it for that exact reason. "I don't know. A sworn statement saying you'll do your work for now on."

Ron laughed, "That will never happen."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Okay, how about an amazing game tomorrow?"

"That, I can give you," Ron breathed.

Hermione grinned, "Fine, I'll help you tomorrow, but now you have to sleep."

"What about you?" Ron asked.

"I'm almost done. I just wanted to get this essay out of the way," she explained.

Ron watched her rub her face and strain her eyes over her work. Ron had never met anyone so determined and hard working. Hermione was so unique in so many ways. "What are you staring at?" she asked.

Ron shook his head. "Nothing, you're just…the most wonderful person I've ever met."

Hermione snorted, "You seem to only think that way after I agree to help you cheat."

Ron shook his head and felt a bit hurt. "No, no, that's not true. I always think that."

Hermione stared at him, "Well, you shouldn't let Luna know that."

Ron shrugged, "She knows, it's one of the reasons she likes you so much."

There was something in Hermione's expression that he couldn't read. She smiled anyway. "Well, I like her too, and you. You're not so bad, even if you're a procrastinator."

Ron gave her a slight nudge." Oh, you know you love me."

She nodded, "I do. I love you Ron."

A rush of warmth went through him. "I love you too, Hermione."

They were staring and smiling at each other. The fire light danced across her face.

"Well, I should get to sleep," Ron said getting up.

"Yeah, you've got a big game," Hermione breathed looking back to her work.

"Hey, don't stay up too much longer. You gotta be well rested to cheer your ass off," Ron said.

Hermione gave him a look. "I don't expect much from you; don't expect much from me."

Ron chuckled. "Alright, good night."

Hermione nodded, "Night Ron."

He smiled once more and turned to the stairs.

End flash back

"Mr. Weasley, you can go wash and go to bed. Your detention will start tomorrow," McGonagall said walking back into the room.

Ron opened his eyes and stood up. "Thank you," he said before leaving.

He walked the halls slowly and in silence. He went past the Ravenclaw entrance. His chest felt heavy but he stared at the door. A small smile formed. He kept walking feeling tightness around his eyes. When he made it inside the Common Room, Hermione was there. She was packing up her books. She looked up at him.

For a while they stared at each other. She gave him a once over and headed for the staircase.

"Hermione, wait," Ron said walking over to her. She turned to him. Her eyes were vacant and dark. She didn't say anything. "I'm…sorry."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't care that you hit Malfoy."

"No, about the over stuff," Ron said.

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm fine," she said turning around again.

"Mione…I…I don't know, okay? I don't know," Ron whispered.

Hermione turned to him again. She shook her head. "There's nothing to know. It's okay. Just…get some sleep. You look exhausted." Ron opened his mouth but Hermione cut in, "Good game, I tried my best to cheer as loud as I could for you."

Ron closed his eyes. He couldn't even watch her leave. He leaned against the wall and exhaled deeply.

He couldn't believe how everything was so different, but felt so familiar.

I know! one step forward, two steps back. Bare with them...they'll get it together, lol Complicating is awesome, lol. REVIEW!

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