Disclaimer: I, yassiiee am not Stephenie Meyer, even though it would be freakin' awesome if I was :D
Chapter 4: Little sun
(Bella's POV)
I was aimlessly walking through the forest. I didn't really care where I went I just needed to get away from them. They ruined my life. They were supposed to be my family and they abandoned me. They were so selfish that they didn't even care about what happened to me and how I would react. Heck even if Edward had a new lover and they still lived in Forks I would actually be fine with that. As long as I knew I still had my other family. Of course I would still love him and be upset that he had found someone else, but at least I would have Alice, Emmett, Esme and heck even Jasper just to help me through it. But they all left. And now they're back. Well four of them are back. I don't know if I can live here anymore with them so close to me. I don't want to associate myself with them anymore. They left me to try and fend for myself. They had already brought me into the world of vampires and werewolves and then they leave me. What was I supposed to do when Victoria and Julian attacked me? I was still human I couldn't do anything.
I know I should forgive them, but it's so much harder then I thought it would be. I was willing to forgive them when I hadn't seen them in seventeen years. I was hoping that I would never see them again which was a bit stupid because I was bound to see them sometime in my lifetime considering they live until they've been burned. I just don't know if I can let them back in my life. They abandoned me and now they're back? It can't go back to the way it used to be, maybe in time, but that's what I need, time.
Before I knew it I was back home. Wow time sure does fly when you're walking around the forest trying to get away from people, well vampires.
I walked into the house and up the two flights of stairs to my room. I pulled out my laptop and connected it to the speakers and opened up itunes. I played it on shuffle and the first song that came on was Halo by The Pussycat Dolls.
I can make love feel just like heaven (oh)
I can be a little devil in bed and (oh)
Even clean and cook your breakfast
But I'm not perfect, I
I can take off when need your time (oh)
I can cheer lead you for on the sideline (oh)
Whisper in your ear so divine
But I'm not perfect, I
Hope you can forgive me baby
For all the mistakes I've made (ah)
Be patient with me, babe
I'm just tryin' to make my way (oh)
I'm not a superhero
Sorry I couldn't save the day (ah)
Believe me when I say
I've always loved this song. For a bunch of Burlesque dancers and singers they have some amazing songs.
That I'm sorry I couldn't wear your
Halo, Halo, Halo, Halo
Sorry I couldn't be your
Angel, Angel, Angel, Angel
I'm sorry I couldn't wear your
Halo, Halo, Halo, Halo
Sorry I didn't stroke your
Ego, Ego, Ego, Oh No
I was with him but I guess I wasn't able
I'm sorry I couldn't wear your halo
Halo, Halo
He always said I was an angel. He proclaimed that he had never felt this way about anyone ever before, but typical Bella went and believed him. I believed all this shit he told me. I was willing to end my human life for him because I thought that we were truly meant to be together. He told me we were.
Now it's like you never knew my heart
I swear sometimes you are
So hard on me cause I'm not everything
That you want me to be
I'm so sorry
I didn't want you to see me this way
I'm so sorry
I didn't mean to fall from grace
I didn't mean to fall from grace
'I swear sometimes you are so hard on me cause I'm not everything that you want me to be, I'm so sorry' If I ever see Edward, I think I will apologize to him, apologize for not being what he wanted and needed and apologize for being stupid enough to believe him. Apologize for giving him my heart and soul and for giving him the opportunity to ruin me.
The next song that played was 'New kids on the block featuring Lady Gaga – Big Girl Now' and I have to admit, for guys that are like in their forties they make pretty good music.
I turned the music up as loud as it would go and started dancing around the whole house while singing at the top of my lungs
"I ain't that little girl no more, not no more, that's for sure, Boy, get ass out on the floor, lets explore, lets explore"
"You know I like the way you move it!"
"With a body like that you've got a grown man ready to blow" Haha, blow, I thought to myself. Childish I know but I needed things to make me happy right now and stupidly enough that did.
"I'm big boy, you're a big girl now, I'm a big girl, you're a big boy now, Back in the day, when I was young (Kinda dumb) But I always knew I'd be the one (Now, here you come), Gonna get you wet, gonna make you sweat. Gonna give you something you ain't never gonna forget"
And most of the day proceeded in the same manner. Me singing to random songs that plays on itunes.
(Matt's POV)
It was last period, and I had Chemistry. The teacher, Mr. what-ever-his-name-is was talking about who knows what. I was too concerned about Bella. My sister Bella was doing who knows what who knows where. What if she left and we can't find her? I hope she's ok.
Sila, what are we going to do? I thought to Sila
Babe, I do not have a clue. We could invite them over so they could try and sort things out but that could also make things worse. We could not do anything and hope that they work it out or it all blows over.
I'm worried about her. I hope she's ok.
I know honey, but she's smart, she won't do something stupid. Sila said trying to reassure me
What if she leaves?
She'll tell us first. She won't leave without speaking to us about it first.
Just then the bell rang and we both got up at a fast human speed and made our way to the car park.
When we got there we saw that the car was still there.
"Where do you reckon she put the keys this time?" I asked.
"Uhm, good question?"
I looked around the car when I spotted something under the car. I pulled out the keys and held them up triumphantly.
"Look what I have" I smiled.
"Hey uhm Sila, Matthew, do you guys mind if we come around to see Bella?" I turned around to a sad looking Alice.
"Uhm we're really not sure Alice. We don't know if she wants to see you guys and we don't want you to come over and she loses it." Sila explained which was so true. What if they came over and she lost it? What could we do then? It would be our fault for letting them come over.
"Plleeaassee" Emmett begged.
"If she wants us to leave then we'll leave straight away. We just want her to hear our side of the story and that none of us wanted to leave her. We love her; she's our family for god's sake!" Alice had a point.
"Sila I think we should let them, Bella needs to hear their side, and if she honestly doesn't want to then they'll leave and try again another time."
"Ok, but be gentle. She's extremely shocked to see you guys, so take it easy."
We all got into our cars; The Cullen's following, as we made our way back home. Let's hope Bella doesn't get to upset, let's just hope she's still there.
(Jaspers POV)
I really hope Bella's ok.
When I first met her over 17 years ago I never took a second glance at her because she was Edwards and I had Alice.
Bella was content with her life and I was content with mine.
She was the light in our little family. She's what made everyone happy without even trying, and all because of Edward we had to leave our own little sun.
I know I never spoke or interacted with Bella as much as everyone else but it doesn't mean she isn't my little sister, I still love her. And ever since Alice and I broke up I've been realizing that even more.
Of course me being the Empath, I can feel everyone's feelings, and since Bella was with us she was usually always happy which made me happy. I haven't really been happy since she's left, either it's because no one else is happy and I'm just feeling their emotions or it's actually me not happy because she isn't here.
I remember when I nearly killed her when she was human on her birthday. That was a horrible day; I can never forgive myself for nearly murdering my little sister. That day was also the day Edward found an excuse to leave Bella. Blaming it on the fact that we were to dangerous for her and not telling her that he'd actually moved on to someone else, someone no one in our family even liked. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. Sure I love my brother, but I never knew he was capable of something like this, he was never the type of person to lie and cheat maybe it was Tanya's bad influence or he was actually like that and none of us thought anything more of it.
Before I realized we were even driving we stopped in front of Bella's, Sila's and Matthew's house. It was very modern but still had that classic feel to it. The house was white with red windows and doors and grey roofing. It looked very homey; you could see a happy family living in a house like this.
We got out of the car and were bombarded with the song 'Brighter by Paramore' playing throughout the house.
"Hey, I love that song." Emmett said. Wait what? I had to do a double take just to make sure it was him saying it.
"Since when?" I asked, "You're more of an R n B and Hip Hop person."
"Hey I can listen to other songs as well, gosh."
"You guys ready?" Sila asked us. One by one we all nodded. We were ready; we've been ready for seventeen years.
Let's just hope she doesn't kick us out and lets us hear what we have to say, we need our little sun back.
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