I stay where I am with few visitors. Aron comes first, and then Mina. Storm Shadow hasn't returned yet. Everybody files in and out while Aron is at school and Mina is busy with her training and whatnot. I can't believe I forgot about anyone of them. But that doesn't mean it was impossible. Cobra Commander is good at what he does, and what he does is mass destruction and ruining lives.

I'm almost surprised when Brian comes in by himself, without Lowlight. Lowlight and I are actually getting along a little bit better than before... We just nearly choke each other rather than shoot each other. I've been under watch for a week, and I'm finally being let out. Why wouldn't Brian take this opportunity before I tell everyone he works for Cobra Commander.

The truth is, I'm not sure I can trust my memories anymore. They battle each other often enough that sometimes I can barely remember Aron's name, or that I'm not with Cobra anymore. Thankfully Mina comes to the rescue when this happens. Not if. When. Besides, if Cobra Commander could replace my enemies, then why couldn't the Joes? It isn't like Hibiki remembers.

He closes the door almost inaudibly. "Commander has orders for you." His voice is low enough that the cameras won't catch it. "He wants you to go Under again. I have been given the pill for you to take."

"Why should I go Under again? I just came back."

"You know we're stronger when we go Under voluntarily to come back. Mina has already agreed to go Under, which is why she's doing things that will make it look like the strain on the bug. She wants them to think she can regain those lost. Mina has until dinner. You will go Under at breakfast."

"Trying to give me enough time to get me in bed again?" I ask, putting my things away again. I drop my brush and bend down to pick it up. I stand again and my back is against his chest. I look up at him. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Take it as you will," he replies. "I'm still not in love with you, Zaltana." I smirk at him. "You never were either, though. Always preferred Thomas over me." I put my things in their rightful spot as he backs off. "Breakfast, Zaltana. Don't be late. Oh, and, if you can, mess with the traitor for me. He did kill your buddy after all. Commander would rather that."

I try to keep my guilt from getting to me, but it doesn't work so well. I snort. "How do I find the damn traitor?"

"You can do it. He'll be back for you before noon. I know it." The door opens and he makes a show. "Are you sure you don't want me to help you, Zaltana? It isn't that much of a big deal."

"Brian, I already told you that I'm fine. I can carry my own shit," I say, picking up my bag that holds nearly nothing. "Besides, do you see how little I have here?" I smile at him, and the air feels almost like the conversation didn't happen. I lean up and kiss his cheek. "But thanks." He smiles at me and I come face to face with Snake Eyes. I smile at him.

Come walk with me. I haven't talked to you in a while. "A while" here constitutes as three days. Or eight hours if you're Mina or Aron. But I oblige, knowing now how little time I have left for these people I remember so differently from what the Commander taught me to remember. I guess I'm still deciding what to believe. It's just nothing really makes sense. So I try not to think about it and follow orders like I have for the last few years. Or year. I don't know!

I guess you haven't seen Storm Shadow?

"I'm afraid I haven't," I reply with a sigh. "I mean, I want to talk to him, but at the same time, I don't even know. The last thing I remember is Joan, but you said..."

That you kissed him. It's silent for a moment or two. Then he continues. He's afraid, you know.

"Why would he be afraid?" I ask, genuinely curious. A ninja afraid? This I want to know. It would be something to report to Commander anyway. I pass Mina, and she watches us walk by, a reluctant look in her eye like she doesn't want to do this. I can read her, but she can read me too. My confusion and insecurity is probably wide open for her.

He said you didn't look him in the eye for a week after Joan died the first time. He doesn't want a repeat. I take it in. You're special, Zaltana. You don't know it yet, but you honestly are. To him, anyway.

"What makes me so different?" I ask. He stops, and I turn to look at him. I feel as though he's looking at me with a smirk on his face and raise a brow. He turns me around and pushes me through a door, pulling it shut behind. I stumble a little bit but catch my balance soon enough. I look around in the dimly lit room before catching a still form.

I feel like an intruder in the bare and pristine space. I hold my bag tighter, suddenly a bit embarrassed of my old clothes. But I approach the center of the room, attempting to get some clue in on Storm Shadow. I never really entered his domain back in Cobra, but now I've been forced in and it doesn't feel quite as good as I thought it would. I walk past him, keeping as quite as I can.

Dropping my bag off by the wall, I go to his bed where one lone picture sits. It has me, smiling into the camera, and Storm Shadow is next to me, engrossed in a book, with Firefly halfway in the shot. I go to pick it up when a firm grip grasps my wrist. I jump, looking at Storm Shadow with slight fear. He cuts his eyes to the side for a moment before going back to me. "I didn't hear you move."

"Why are you here?"

"Snakes brought me here." I swallow, forcing myself to look at his brown eyes. "I, uhm..." He lets go of me and turns away as soon as my eyes meet the floor for a brief second. I run a hand through my hair. "Wait, Storm. Just, wait." I run a hand through my hair again. "I'm just really confused."

"What's there to be confused about? You're afraid of me. Again."

I sigh, crossing my arms over my chest as I suddenly feel naked. "I don't remember entirely what's happened between you and me. I remember wanting to be really, really close to you, but I also remembering meaning the words 'I hate you' with all of my heart. It's just too damn complicated for me." I sit on his bed. "I mean, it's really conflicting. Then, at the same time, I remember all these fun times with Zartan, and you kind of killed him, but I also remember Zartan kidnapping my kid, and you killed him."

My head is in my hands, and Storm Shadow seems a bit... uncomfortable. I shake my thoughts. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. I'll just... get going then." I stand up and walk towards my bag only to have him trap me against his wall. I feel my breath hitch as I look straight into his brown eyes that are so carefully guarded. His hands are on either side of me, and I almost... like it. Damn it. I don't even let Tommy do this.

But I realize just a moment later why I like it. I feel almost safe, like he can protect me from anything just by giving me access to focus solely on his eyes, on him really. Like reality can just disappear for a damn moment, and it can be just me and him. But it can't. Because I have orders. And that's why I'm doing this. Not because I feel safe. That's an illusion from the bug to make this easier.

One of his hands caresses my cheek, and I lean into the warmth. He smiles softly, a way I haven't seen him do before and wasn't entirely sure was possible. I feel my breath quicken and close my eyes to, one, enjoy it and, two, make my heart stop beating so damn fast. He leans forward, coming closer to me. He stops just an inch away, and my anticipation and impatience gets the better of me.

I wrap my arms around his neck as we kiss, everything inside of me lighting up with the one touch. He bites my lip, his hands coming down to my waist to pull me tighter. I moan, liking how he used just the right amount of force to make it hurt just right. I never really knew I liked it rough. Shit. He dominates my tongue, and I can't believe how much I love it.

We break away for a moment, panting hard. I swallow, not entirely realizing when my legs had wrapped around his waist. He seems unsure if he wants to go on, like it all depends on me. I can't do this to him. I just cannot do this to him. I can't. I don't want to do this to him. I do not want to do this to him. I don't. I won't do this to him. I will not do this to him. I won't.

I have to.

He sees the solution in my eyes to do this, brought from something he doesn't know about. I feel the support from the wall gone as I'm laid so gently on his bed without breaking the kiss. We stay there for a few moments before he breaks off, paying attention to my throat. I bare my neck, giving him better access. I moan when he finds a certain spot. He grins against my skin, running his tongue along the spot before sucking on it. I thread my hand through his hair as he begins unbuttoning my shirt...

Only for someone to knock on the fucking door.

"Storm-" Mina opens the door as I sit up, glaring at her. "Oh... Didn't know I was interrupting something. I'll, uh, go now." I button my shirt up as Storm Shadow stands.

"Too early for that anyway. Knowing this ninja, he'll try to make sure I can't walk." I kiss his cheek, and he smiles warmly at me. I lean up to whisper in his ear. "I'll be in my room all night, probably watching a movie." He catches my wrist.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too." Damn it. I can't, don't, and won't do this to him. I just... No. That is it. This is final. I won't do this. Commander will kill me first. I will not do it. I can't do it. I just fucking can't.