Hello hello my dear readers! I know I'm a little late, but better later than never right? I won't lie, I was a little upset that the last chapter didn't got any reviews, but I prefer to think you didn't had time to write something instead of abandoning the story. If you're still there, let me know! Hearing from you makes my days better!

Chapitre Neuf

Cygne Blanc, Cygne Noir

Marie couldn't sleep past 6AM. She woke up with swollen eyes and her pillowcase stained with green from her hair. Realizing she wouldn't go back to sleep, Marie started getting ready for her morning class.

Teaching was good. It washed away all of her other concerns and helped calming her mind after the events of yesterday. Marie was still very confused about her feeling: she imagined she would be traumatized or at least extremely anxious, like usual. She was afraid of everything, for God's sake! Surely her mind would induce her to be terrified.

But she wasn't, and that was much more terrifying than the fact that she almost died yesterday. She wasn't feeling anything except for the helplessness of standing there and not being a able to do something useful, and Marie didn't know what that meant.

"That's all for today, girls," Marie clapped, her students following her lead. "It was great! Next week we might start rehearsing our choreography for the Christmas recital, what do you think?"

A chorus of excited "ohs" and "yeahs" was all the answers she needed. One by one, the students left the room, thanking Marie for the class. Soon they were all gone, and she headed to the CD player to retrieve her customized CD, one that included all of her favorite pieces of ballet class music.

"Uhn, hello?" a hesitant yet familiar voice said behind her. The sudden fright made Marie jump, her hand holding her chest nervously after she recognized Barry. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay," she panted, laughing nervously. "This happens all the time."

Recovering her breath, Marie eyed him with curiosity. "How did you found me here?"

"I might have asked Cisco to figure that out?" Barry answered. His puppy eyes made him look like a twelve year old, and Marie dropped the subject. Noticing she wouldn't say anything else, he took a step ahead. "I wanted to apologize for yesterday."

Barry extended his hand and Marie saw a single red tulip being offered to her. Ballerinas usually received flowers after performances, but Marie hadn't time to get hers after La Sylphide. Instead, the beautiful bouquet of white roses her mother bought her was displayed on her hospital room, like a painful reminder of the tragedy that struck her.

Seeing that perfect little flower in Barry's hand made her eyes fill with tears of both good and bad memories. Unfortunately, he understood differently. "Please, don't cry! I didn't mean to..."

"Don't worry, I'm alright," Marie waved dismissively, her smile turning into a wistful one. "It's just... I really like flowers."

She accepted the tulip, admiring the red shade of its petals.

"So," he started. "Is a flower enough to convince you to have coffee with me?"

Marie felt her face heating up. "You want to have coffee with me?!"

"Yes!" Barry coughed. "I think we really need to talk. I mean, about yesterday and... stuff," he rubbed the back of his head.

Marie nodded. "Of course, I'll just grab my things."

She packed the CD quickly, feeling like she was heading to the principal's office. What could he want with her?

Marie pulled her coat hastily from her bag, dressing it and completely ignoring the fact that it was totally creased. She changed into regular shoes instead of ballet flats and placed her tulip onto her bun, breaking the stalk to fit in better.

"Do you know anywhere where we can have coffee? I'm kind of new to this region," Marie asked Barry as they left the room.

"Actually, I know exactly where we can go," he smiled at her. Janet, the school's receptionist, eyed then strangely, probably wondering who Barry was. Marie waved at her before leaving.

"So," she tried to small talk on the way. Marie was terrible at that. "How are Joe and... Isis? You said they were in trouble yesterday."

"Iris," he corrected. "She's Joe's daughter," Marie didn't missed his soft tone when he said her name. "They got involved in a hostage situation at the police station."

"Are they alright?" she asked, wide eyed.

"Yes, Joe and Iris are," he nodded vigorously. "But Eddie - he's Iris' boyfriend - he got shot."

Marie couldn't identify his thoughts on that matter. Thought Barry seemed obviously shaken by this Eddie character being shot, he also looked... heartbroken. Weird.

"But he'll make it, right?"

"Yes, he's stable."

She whispered a low "good", and then silence reigned. Marie was starting to get uncomfortable when Barry announced they had arrived.

The place was called Jitters. Marie was surprised that Paige never brought her here, her friend seemed to know all about coffee shops on Central City. She told herself to remember telling Paige about this place.

Marie and Barry ordered their beverages and then sat in a small table for two. The uncomfortable silence filled the space one more time, until Marie spoke:

"So," she cleared her throat to make her voice more steady. "What do you want to talk about?"

This seemed to take Barry out of his reverie. "I-I just wanted to make sure you're fine. I guess I just needed to check and see if you're not having a mental breakdown," he laughed nervously.

Marie bit her lip, fiddling with the small ballerina pendant of her necklace. How could she explain that she was having the opposite of a breakdown?

Interpreting her lack of response as a yes, Barry added quickly. "If that's the case, we can help you! And if you never want to see any of us ever again, that's completely understandable, but I'm no..."

Marie started laughing at his nervousness. She couldn't lie, it was kind of cute, and even helped her feeling more at ease. Barry eyed her, confused.

"I'm sorry, I use to laugh at inappropriate moments," she bit the inside of her cheek, forcing herself to stop laughing.

"So you're not having a mental breakdown?" Barry asked cautiously.

"No." Marie smiled in return before taking a more serious position, wondering how she could explain what was going on in her mind without sounding crazy. "Actually, I-"

She stopped talking when she realized that a very pretty woman was walking on their direction, holding a mug full of coffee on each hand. She looked like a supermodel or a famous actress, and all Marie could think was how a girl like her was serving tables instead of getting nominated for Emmys and Oscars.

"Hi!" she smiled brightly at then, getting Barry's attention.

"Iris," he beamed at her. "I thought you would be home today."

She placed the mugs on the table and waved her hand dismissively. "It seems there's no rest for the wicked," then she turned to Marie, extending her hand. "Hey, I'm Iris."

"Marie Sheperd," she shook the woman's hand. "I heard about you, you're Joe's daughter, right?" Marie started to notice the resemblance between the two.

"You've met my father?" Iris asked.

"Marie was in Iron Heights when Joe was attacked, that's how we met," Barry told her.

"So romantic," Iris sent a suggestive look to Barry, causing him to blush. "Well, I'll go back to work. It was nice to meet you, Marie. Enjoy your date."

"It's not a-" a flushed Barry tried to say, but Iris was already leaving. The returned his gaze to Marie, whose face was as red as the tulip he gave her. "That was Iris."

"She seems nice," Marie sipped on her coffee, regretting it immediately. It was hotter than she thought it would be.

"She is." Barry seemed to wonder for a moment, but his focus returned quickly. "What were you saying?"

Marie took a deep breath, her eyes looking anywhere except Barry's. "Oh, about that..."

He noticed her hesitation. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, Marie. We're friends, right?"

"Yes," she breathed out. "Yes, we're friends. So, the thing is what we've been through last night, it's not affecting me as I thought it would."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No!" she nearly shouted. "Yes! I don't know." Marie looked down at her coffee. "I'm used to be scared of everything. Going through a near death experience and then don't feel fear or anything really, it's out of character of me."

Barry remained in silence, waiting for her to go on.

"But there's this thing that's bothering me," Marie finally said, raising her eyes to look at Barry's. "When we were there, with Farooq on our trail... he was going to kill us. You couldn't use your powers and I had no idea what to do with mine. I was supposed to be able to help, but I couldn't, and I never felt that helpless in my whole life."

He eyed her carefully, as if trying to see through her, and Marie lowered her eyes. Congratulations, Marie, you just freaked him out.

"When I was eleven, my mother was murdered," Marie's eyes widened at the revelation. "I woke up in the middle of the night and saw what looked like lightning bolts around her. I tried to tell this the cops, but no one believed me. My father was arrested for a crime I know he didn't commit."

"I'm so sorry, Barry," Marie told him truthfully. Her cheeks were red with embarrassment; here she was rambling about her lack of fear when Barry had gone through so much worse at such a young age.

"It's okay, you didn't know," he said. "What I'm trying to say is that I've been there before. I know what it feels like to feel powerless."

"Is that why you decided to become the Flash?" Marie asked. "To feel like you're in control?"

"It sounds so selfish putting that way," he smiled a bit. "I want to help people like I wish someone had helped my mother."

It was Marie's turn to eye him with curiosity. There was so much more to this guy than she had imagined originally. Of course he has a reason to do this, or you thought he just liked running around in a costume? Silly Marie.

"I..." she stared at him in silence, unsure what to say. "I don't know how to control it. My powers," the word sounded strange to her tongue. "Can you help me?"

For a moment, he just looked at her, and Marie started to wonder if it had been a good idea to ask for help. But then Barry opened a big smile and relief coursed through her body. "I would like that."

And Marie was incapable of stopping the smile that grew on her face too.

During the next weeks, Barry and Marie would meet nearly everyday. Sometimes they had coffee together, sometimes they would just go to train. Marie was starting to feel comfortable around Cisco and Caitlin as well, thought Doctor Wells remained a mystery to her.

While her social life seemed to be at its best, Marie's training was definitely not going well. She still didn't knew how to access her powers, how to trigger them. There were days were she woke up feeling the awareness of her surroundings that her power provided, and the sensation would last for hours. During these days, Barry and her made a small progress in their training: Marie could sense the air shifting around him as he moved faster than her eyes could see, and she learned she could predict where he was going. Barry would have her levitate small objects, first pencils, then books, then fruits. Cisco was by far the most excited of them; he had many ideas on how Marie could wear her newfound abilities: choking people Darth Vader style, manipulating the air currents to be able to fly, use it as telekinesis to move all types of objects, and so it goes.

But most days she would feel nothing. Marie would try for hours to concentrate and access her connection to the air, but she couldn't. Caitlin was trying to figure out what could be holding her back, but Marie knew it was her responsibility to deal with, what only made the things worse.

Looking at the brighter side, the proximity to Christmas meant one thing: her mother was coming to visit. Thought Karen had spent months living with Marie and helping during her recovery, she missed her mother terribly. Maybe being around her would inspire her to unlock her powers.

Today was one of her bad days. She couldn't sense her powers, she had slept in and got late to her morning class and her knee was starting to complain. Hopefully lunch with Paige would help.

Instead of meeting in a coffee shop as usual, they went to an actual restaurant. Marie arrived first, releasing her hair from the bun while she waited for Paige. Her friend arrived only a couple of minutes later.

"Sorry, I'm late," a breathless Paige told her after a quick hug.

"It's alright, just a few minutes wouldn't kill me."

"Have you asked yet?" Paige pointed the menu.

"Sorry, I did," Marie made a guilty face. "But I was starving! I got late for work and didn't had time for breakfast."

Paige sent her a suggestive look. "Maybe you would, if only you tell me what are you doing every time you mysteriously disappear."

Marie felt a pang of guilt rush through her. She hadn't told Paige about the whole meta-human thing, and she didn't intended to tell anytime soon. Barry didn't share his secret with Iris because he was afraid of endangering her, so Marie decided to do the same. But of course Paige noticed that she had been way more busy than normal.

Thankfully for Marie, the waiter appeared right on time to take Paige's order, and the subject was cut short. She knew her friend would ask about this again, but hopefully next time Marie would have a good explanation.

"Anyway, there's something I need to tell you," a bright smile took over her friend's face as the waiter left their table.

"Go on, I'm all ears!" Marie sipped her orange juice.

"Grace is injured."

Marie knew who she was talking about. Grace Deville was one of the stars of Central City Ballet and an inspiration for both of them. Why the news of her injury cheered Paige, she didn't know.

"But didn't she just got back?" Marie asked.

"Yeah, but she's not the same after she had the baby. That's why I'm never having children."

"That's really bad," Marie sighed. "Most dancers recover just fine from their pregnancies."

"Well, Grace it's not one of them," Paige nodded. "First the baby, then her ankle last year and now a hip injury? She's going through a lot. But you know what that means, right?"

Marie narrowed her eyes, thoughtful. "That she might retire earlier than expected?"

"That too, but that's not what I'm excited about!" Paige looked like she could explode in happiness. "It's means I'll replace her for some performances of the short season of Swan Lake!"

Of course, Marie realized. How she could forget that? Paige told her a few months ago that she would be learning the roles of White Swan/Black Swan as an understudy for CCB's Christmas season of Swan Lake. At the time, none of them gave it too much attention, because understudies weren't always necessary, since the company could just call another dancer familiar to the role to perform, but now she realized how serious this happened to be. But it was not the reason why she was upset with herself.

The main role in Swan Lake was the ultimate part for a ballerina to perform, and it was Marie's dream role. While Paige preferred more energetic parts like Kitri or the Firebird, Marie was the classic romantic ballerina, and roles like Giselle and Juliet seemed to fit her perfectly. The thought of seeing Paige dancing the role of her life gave Marie a sour taste in her mouth, and she found herself disgusted with her own behavior. Paige's your best friend, you need to be happy for her!, she scolded herself.

"That's amazing!" Marie plastered her face with the biggest and most painful smile of her life. Inside, she wanted nothing more than cry for the rest of the day while watching her Swan Lake DVD's as a self torture. "You'll be amazing, I know!"

"Thanks, Marie," her friend smiled back, and seeing Paige so happy brought a small comfort to her heart. "But I need your help."

"My help?"

"No one loves this ballet like you, Marie. I'll never become Odette or Odile without you," Paige extended her hand, holding Marie's across the table.

"You know we... you - you have teachers for that right? I mean, Paige, I've never danced this role. I don't have the baggage to help you with that."

"I know, I know, but they don't see the characters like you do! Remember when we were watching the White Swan adagio and you said that Odette was probably in pain the whole time? 'She wants to love him, but she can't allow herself to hope for someone to break the curse', you said. Or how you told me you wouldn't lower your head while playing Odile, because she thinks she's above everyone else?"

"Yes, I remember," Marie bit her lower lip.

"Well, that's all I'm asking you to do. Give me your insights on the story!"

Marie hesitated. She wasn't lying when she said she didn't had the baggage to do that. What if someone in the company figured out she was helping and felt offended by her looking for advice somewhere else? Marie didn't wanted to get her friend in trouble. But she knew that part of her hesitation was because she just didn't wanted to help Paige. She wanted David Moore to think Paige's portrayal of the two main parts where so absurd that he would never cast her again for this role.

Don't do this to yourself, Marie! Swallow your jealousy and help your friend, for God's sake!

"When's your next day off?" Marie sighed in defeat, and Paige giggled like a teenage girl.

"I knew you couldn't say no!"

Their food arrived right on time, and Marie zoned out. Even her appetite seemed to be gone. But Paige was on fire, shooting her expectations on the weeks to come. She was so excited she didn't even notice Marie wasn't truly listening as she answered her friend with nods and yeses.

The entrance of the Black Swan started playing and Marie quickly grabbed her phone from her purse while Paige looked at her with a surprised expression.

"Hello?" Marie said.

"Marie, it's Cisco. Can you come over Star Labs?"

She wasn't going to deny the request, but frowned anyway. "I thought Barry would work today?"

"Yeah, he came across a situation..." Cisco trailed off.

"Got it," Marie said, already gathering her stuff to leave. This meant Barry had faced another meta-human, and even if Marie wasn't strong enough to help him with that, she wanted to be there and absorb all the knowledge she could. "I'll be there in ten."

She quickly said goodbye to Cisco and turned to Paige, who was watching her with a slightly annoyed face. Marie realized her friend was upset because she had interrupted the conversation, and felt a pang of guilt for having to leave.

"Sorry, Paige," she grabbed money to pay for the bill, handing it to her friend. "It's an emergency. But this conversation's not over, I promise! I'll call you later?"

"Don't bother," Paige said, her dry tone surprising Marie. "Focus on your emergency, I'll be fine."

Marie's heart dropped. Paige must have noticed she wasn't truly happy with the news and now this was her fault. She didn't wanted to fight with her best friend, so she picked her next words cautiously.

"If you still want my help, just text me, alright?"

But Paige didn't spare her a look. With a heavy heart, Marie left the restaurant, her eyes watering and her throat burning with the effort of holding back the tears that threatened to fall.