I consider this one the funniest chapter in the fic, so please enjoy~!

Ino and Sakura burst through the classroom door together in perfect unison, then bent over, panting for breath. "Looks like I win again, Sakura."

"You're dreaming, I had to look back to see you. My toe was at least a tenth of an inch ahead."

They exchanged rivalry-glares that charged the air between them with the scent of ozone, then abruptly turned away and called out to their neutral-party judge at the exact same time, "Naruto! Who-"

She tilted her head, "Well, Sakura-chan's toe was farther ahead... But Ino-nee's hair fringe was the first thing through the door. So, I think this one's a tie." Both girls stopped and blinked, surprised that Naruto was there to settle the dispute. The golden-blonde beamed at their flabbergasted expressions and waved, "Hey, miss m- aah!"

She went down with an undignified squeak as both of the other preteen girls threw themselves at her in a tackle-hug, again speaking in tandem, "Naruto~!"

Ino held down her left shoulder, rubbing cheeks with her, "You made it~!"

Sakura had her arms wrapped around the both of them, "But how...?"

Naruto managed to unwedge one arm from the other girls and wave it in the air, fingers folding into the general distress signal for requesting back-up due to dangerous assailants. Her head was at just the right angle to see Sasuke smirk at her and sign back 'unable to comply', the bastard, while Shikamaru seemed to be staunchly focusing somewhere just to the left of the tussle, and Kiba grinned before going solemn-faced and making the salute for 'shinobi fallen in battle'- Akamaru throwing in a mournful howl for dramatic affect.

Naruto scowled at them all. Her friends sucked.

With a vicious smirk and surge of chakra, Naruto Substituted herself. The stoic Uchiha let out a very undignified squawk as he found himself under a dogpile of girls- which Naruto threw herself upon just to annoy him further. She smirked down at his struggling form as he tried to wriggle free, "You know, half the girls in this classroom would kill to be here and see you like this."

Sakura and Ino, however, were not among them, with a sigh, both girls stood up at the same time- dragging Naruto with them as she clung to their shoulders. Something about Sasuke's charms just faded when you got to see him sleeping with his mouth wide open for years.

Sasuke got up with closed eyes, brushed himself off, and sat at the closest empty desk. Naruto twitched when he didn't speak or look at them.

Naruto had just about had it with Sasuke's emotional constipation. They'd been friends since they were freaking seven years old. And she got that the Itachi-thing had gotten to him, really she did. If she'd woken up one day from a sleep-over and heard that her family had been killed while she'd been sleeping soundly, she'd have been a wreck, too. But the way he wishy-washed back and forth from the best friend she knew and the emotionless shell he showed the world was really beginning to piss her off.

He still came to their goddamned Study Nights -okay, mostly because he probably got tired of her physically dragging him all the way from his place to theirs- and he still participated even if he was more withdrawn and prone to getting lost in thought. But this 'I am the last Uchiha and must show nothing' phase he was going through about had her tearing her hair out. The moment they were out in public together, it was like Naruto -all their friends, actually- didn't exist to Sasuke's eyes.

Infuriated didn't even scratch the surface. And Naruto had had it. In a flash, she was on the desk-table in front of Sasuke, staring at him, daring him to ignore her presence. His eyes bored into the small space of desk that she wasn't blocking. Naruto leaned even closer, invading his space like she knew he hated, sending charged 'look at me-look at me-look at me' vibes.

If the bead of sweat on the side of his face was any indication, she was getting to him. Naruto didn't know what happened: one moment she was staring Sasuke to death, the next she felt something shove her from behind and she crashed forward off the desk and into Sasuke's lap as they -and their lips- collided.

Someone behind her said something about being sorry for bumping into her but it was lost in the HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK! blaring through her mind. She tore herself away, ignoring the wails of Sasuke fangirls in the background, as Sasuke turned his head and spit, like she'd given him fucking cooties or something.

Naruto gave him her best supremely unimpressed look and turned to where Kiba was just pulling himself together from howling in laughter, "Someone spot me a kunai, these lips have to go, they're tainted. Tongue, too, probably. Can the medi-nins regrow tongues? I wonder what it'll be like being mute the rest of my life. I'm good enough at ESSL, I can probably learn the everyday signs without too much trouble. But what will the world do without my voice?"

"If only we could find out!" Kiba wailed dramatically.

Sasuke's cheeks steadily grew redder and Naruto beamed at Kiba, sticking out her tongue before sitting down, content her message had been received.

The soon-to-be war was aborted when Iruka-sensei entered, "Alright now, everyone calm down."

Naruto sat next to Sasuke, to the continuing horror of his hoards of fangirls, and listened to their teacher- for all of four seconds. She'd been up late doing ninja-things, only gotten about an hour's worth of sleep, and then been up again and playing the part of sensei herself. In her opinion, she'd earned another nap. She pillowed her head on her crossed arms and was out like a light.

Sasuke flicked her awake what had to be less than ten minutes later, just as Iruka began assigning teams. She opened stormy orbs to glare at him, fingers flicking through Konoha Shinobi Sign Language. 'What the hell, Sasuke?'

'I'm sorry.'

Naruto blinked, disbelieving her own eyes. 'What was that? I think my eyes malfunctioned.'

'To be expected from the Idiot Genius of Konoha.'

Her eyes narrowed. 'What was that, asshat?'

'Poor Naruto, are your eyes still not working?'

She pushed up and they both leaned in closer, glaring, "Say that again."

He smirked at her, "Sure your ears are working well enough?"

"Bastard!"

"Naruto Yamanaka."

She flinched and looked at Iruka-sensei, waiting for the scolding for interrupting something so important. Blue eyes blinked as no scolding was immediately forthcoming.

"Sakura Haruno."

Another blink, then the circuits connected in her mind and she realized she'd just been placed on a team with one of her best friends- who just so happened to be sitting on her other side. She and Sakura both turned to each other and high-fived, "Yeah!"

"And Sasuke Uchiha. You guys are Team Seven."

Ino's voice sounded from the back, realizing she'd be with neither her sister nor best friend, at the same moment Naruto realized she would be stuck on a team with hers, "I'm doomed!"

Sasuke smirked at her and Iruka-sensei, beyond used to all of them, just smiled at their outbursts.

"Team Eight is Hinata Hyuuga,"

Naruto looked back at the shy girl and grinned at her as she nodded, "Yes, sir."

"Kiba Inuzuka."

Kiba copied Naruto's thumbs-up.

"And Shino Aburame."

Knowing her friend wasn't one for dramatics, Naruto settled for a simple nod that Shino returned.

Sakura and Ino were too busy making sad eyes at each other to notice the other squads happening around them. They'd always been together, since the day Naruto hadn't let them break their friendship, and even though Sakura was happy to be with one of her friends, Ino was her best friend. A lightbulb flashed above Naruto's head and she narrowed her eyes, Sasuke leaning away from her humongous foxy grin. With practiced ease, Naruto Substituted with Shikamaru who happened to be sitting next to Ino, and gave her sister a rather forceful shove.

There were twin squawks before the entire room went quiet. Then some of the boys -Kiba included- began wolf-whistling, very much enjoying the show of the class' two top kunoichi sharing a kiss. Ino pulled away like she'd been burned, her and Sakura's faces both a brighter hue than the pinkette's hair, "Wh-wh-wha...?"

Ino turned on her sister and launched at her. Naruto, fully expecting the attack, just Substituted again and quickly ducked back into her seat, Sakura still comatose beside her, "Iruka-sensei, my sister is trying to kill me!"

"Naruto...!"

"Everyone, settle down!"

Ino visibly fought for control of herself before sitting down in her seat abruptly, arms crossed and shaking in anger. Naruto poked Sakura in the shoulder, "Eh? Sakura-chan, you okay?" ...I think I broke her...

Green eyes blinked owlishly before looking back at her, "H-huh? Oh, yeah... I'm fine."

"Now Squad Ten." All of them blinked and looked at each other. Not a single one of them had heard a single thing about Team Nine. "Ino Yamanaka. Shikamaru Nara."

Ino dropped her head in her hands, "Nooo, why couldn't you have been on Naruto's squad?"

Shikamaru's head dropped to his desk, "Nooo, why did I have to be on a Yamanaka's squad at all?" Now, with Naruto no doubt spending time with her sister, he'd never get away from her!

"And Chouji Akimichi."

The brunette looked up from his seat several rows down and on the other side of the class, "Bring some bentos from your Kaachan, yeah, Ino?"

Ino laid her head on the desk and gave out 'despair-despair-despair' vibes, one hand raised in a thumbs-up, "Uh-huh..."

"After lunch, you'll all meet your new Jounin teachers. Until then, class dismissed."

As if they were magic words unleashing the titans, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke's desk was suddenly surrounded by girls, "Sasuke-kun, would you like to join me for lunch?"

"No, join me!"

The swarm pressed in around them all and Naruto wound up back-to-back with Sasuke as they became surrounded on all sides. Her voice was low enough to only be heard be her new team mate as the buzz of offers grew, "Non-lethal force?"

Sasuke's own voice was just as quiet and completely serious when he replied, "Debatable."

They both tensed as the group attacked, burying them under a mountain of bodies.

Sakura, having slipped away before her team had gotten penned in, made an exaggerated gasp by the doorway, "There he is! He's heading for the veranda!"

The group of fangirls looked at their dogpile in confusion, pulling away to see a squashed Naruto at the bottom of the pile. As one, they ran to the entryway just in time to see Sasuke's form turn the corner. They were off like a pack of hounds.

Sakura slammed the door shut and pressed her ear against it. After a full minute of nothing, she pulled away with a relieved sigh, "Those idiots, the Academy doesn't even have a veranda..."

Naruto sat up from her 'squished' position with a laugh, jumping to her feet and inching over to a seemingly empty portion of the classroom, "Let's see what's behind curtain number one~!" She pulled away the Camouflage Cloak she'd leant him to show a ruffled and disgruntled Sasuke. She crossed her arms smugly, "Still feel like you don't need anyone's help?"

The Uchiha glared at her and fixed his wardrobe, his shirt having been pulled down enough to expose one pale shoulder, "Not a word."

"Too late." Naruto poked his bare shoulder just before he jerked his top back up, "Man, Sasuke, you need a tan. Work in the sun, start a-"

"If you say 'garden', I'm retracting my promise to fund the next after-Battle round of food."

Her mouth snapped shut. Sakura sighed at them both, "Come on, let's share lunch together and try to figure out who our new Sensei will be. And Naruto, you still have to tell us how you graduated."

"Sorry, Sakura-chan, can't. I need to talk to Shika. I'll share everything later. Study Night?"

The pinkette's cheeks puffed out before deflating, "Yeah, okay. Sasuke?"

He nodded and the two of them watched as Naruto gave them a wave before jumping out the window in true Naruto style.

"The only way this is going to work is if I'm the team leader."

In another life, Shikamaru probably would have been far less generous of the bossy blonde, but after years of exposure to Ino, Naruto, and Makoto-sama, he was well-used to the inherently demanding nature of Yamanaka women, "Gee, you mean like every other team situation we've been in -ever- since our parents first threw us together at age three? Pardon me while I swoon from the shock." ...And maybe he'd picked something up in all the years of interaction with the others, too.

Ino gave him a glare before doing that Smirk of Doom thing she and her sister perfected, "Okay then, Shikamaru. You be the team leader. You get to make up the plans, take first guard duties, check all the equipment, and make the lion's share of our mission reports."

Shikamaru raised his hand- and let it fall, "Lead the way, O Captain Mine."

"Yeah, I thought so."

They were interrupted by a streak of orange\yellow- a streak that tackled a certain lazy Genin to the ground, "SHIKAMARU!"

"GAH?!"

Chouji snickered at his team mate under Naruto as she pinned him to the ground, looking at her sister desperately, "Neechan! I need to borrow Shika for a bit!"

Ino waved her off, "Yeah, sure thing, Naru..."

Naruto grinned in thanks and grabbed the boy in question by his shirt-collar, "...Don't I get a say in this?"

A perfectly synchronized trio of: "No." came from the other teens.

Shikamaru sighed before letting himself be dragged away, "Troublesome..."

Naruto turned to him as soon as they touched down on an inconspicuous roof, leaning in uncomfortably close in that Naruto way that said 'personal boundaries; what are those?'. "Help me make a new Jutsu."

Shikamaru flopped his head in his hand. Well, there went his hopes for getting back to lunch anytime soon. It wasn't like it would be the first time the Study Night Nine had helped each other out like this. "What do you want this new Jutsu to do?"

"I want it to act like the Shadow Clone Jutsu but without the dispelling after one hit thing."

"...Why do you want a Jutsu like this? And where in the world did you learn about Shadow Clones?"

"Details. So, how do I do it?"

He sighed again, "You know the Shadow Clone Jutsu?"

"'Course." She answered, like it wasn't a B-Class Forbidden Jutsu.

Shikamaru felt a headache coming on and rubbed at his forehead, "Well, for starters, we need to define the exact characteristics of the Shadow Clone versus a regular Clone versus what you want in your new Custom Clone. To start with, a simple Clone technique is a Genjutsu: it's an illusion, not a physical copy, merely the image of the thing it's a clone of."

"Yeah-yeah-yeah."

"A Shadow Clone is an exact physical copy of its user, right down to the chakra network. Shadow Clones each get an exactly equal portion of the user's total chakra."

"I know all that, Shika. Get to the good parts!"

He reached out and flicked her nose, "Don't rush me. You're the one that came to me for help, don't tell me how to give it. Now, you're wrong about one thing: Shadow Clones don't disperse at the first hit." he held up a hand to forestall her arguments -because with Naruto there were always arguments- "Unless you made them in such a way that they didn't have the chakra stability to sustain themselves after a single hit." as soon as her face darkened, he knew he'd hit upon something, "They'd be essentially useless if that were really so, because they'd disperse at the first hit they gave, too: a hit's a hit, regardless of who's getting hit. Normally it takes a substantial hit to disperse a Shadow Clone."

"Okay, well, say I regularly run into people who hit substantially."

"Yeah, I get you; such as most shinobi. Now this is something you wouldn't notice in those situations: but a Shadow Clone is a perfect copy of the user right up until they actually get hit hard enough to disperse. This means that, as well as having the same chakra network, they also bleed. When Shadow Clones run out of chakra, they'll also disperse. Standard Clones have none of these attributes because as images alone, they can't interact with anything."

Naruto had her head perched in her hand, elbow resting on her knee as she sat cross-legged, making idle shapes on the roof with a finger, obviously bored. "Uh-huh."

Shikamaru felt his eyebrow twitch and reached into one of his pouches, pulling out a paper fan and smacking Naruto on the head with it. "Pay attention!"

"Ow!" She held both hands over her 'injury' and glared at him, "What the hell, Shika?!"

"Repeat what I just told you."

"Shadow Clones, perfect copies, exact chakra, blood; yada-yada. Go poof when hit hard or run out of energy."

He huffed and glared at her. He hated doing this with Naruto. She always wanted to rush ahead to the next part without getting everything down leading up to it. Admittedly, it was that same lack of attention that led her to make grand -nearly impossible- leaps in logic to get to stunning conclusions, but it was a supreme pain in planning anything with her.

"What you want in your new Custom Clones is... what, exactly?"

Naruto tilted her head, "Well... I guess I want them to be just like me. Shadow Clones are a little like puppets, or non-nin-dogs. They can be given basic instructions and follow them out, but nothing that requires fine control or intuitive thinking. I want them to be sturdy and not disperse for a while- possibly even for some time after a 'fatal' hit. If we could make bodies, it would be an even better distraction. And, now that I think about it, maybe a way to recover chakra on their own so they don't disperse at an inconvenient moment? Oh, and I noticed that my clones seem to feel what I do to an extent, if there's a way to make us more... separate? I'd like that."

Shikamaru crossed his arms and nodded, resting his chin against his chest, unable to think of anything else at the moment that would be vital enough to suggest adding beyond what they already had. "Okay, so now we have an exact list of our needs and our bases. Next step: Theories and queries. What happens when you put more chakra into the Shadow Clone Jutsu?"

"More chakra, more clones."

"Hmm, so we can't just create a sturdier clone by increasing the chakra it has to work with. Do you realize what you're actually suggesting here? The Shadow Clones feel what you do to the extent they do because they share your chakra, which is still yours even when it's in them. This is what gives the user control of the Clones. What you're suggesting is to some way plant part of your mind -or at least basic personality- into the clones so they have a higher cognitive function without your input. This is beyond A-Rank stuff. I mean, it might be possible, if you somehow split your mind with Yamanaka Clan techniques so part of your consciousness was in the Clones... But you don't have the control, and Ino doesn't have the chakra."

"So you're saying the problem is that part of me needs to be in the clones."

"Essentially. It's the first of many hurdles, at the least."

"So... can't I just bleed? That's how shinobi perform Summoning Jutsu, right? Because blood is the connection between the Form and the Self." Shikamaru opened his eyes, blinked, and just stared at her. Naruto puffed out her cheeks and looked away, "Hey, just because I can't do the Clan Jutsu doesn't mean I don't listen to the explanations!"

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed his neck, "Yeah, that'd probably work. As long as the Clones had some of your genetic material, they'd be able to regain chakra over time just like you would. But you realize that by doing this, you're basically permanently cutting your chakra reserves by however many clones you make, right?"

"That's... kind of the point."

"Hmm?"

"Here in Konoha, I up my chakra control by sinking all my excess chakra into the Leylines, so I have a stable, usable amount. But there are no Leylines outside of Konoha. Hell, even with all the Sinking I did, I still couldn't manage to get down to a workable level of chakra to manage the basic Clone Jutsu. I need less chakra."

"I can see your reasoning, but I think there's something you're overlooking here."

"What?"

"How do you think the village is going to react to there suddenly being an influx of Narutos around?"

She winced, "I... didn't think about that." She stared at her crossed legs, frowning for several minutes, then perked up and looked up at him, "What if I just had the Clones use Transformation Jutsu?"

"As outstanding as your Transformation is, Naruto, it still can't hold up to a hit any more than a Shadow Clone would, and it takes constant concentration."

"Can't we make that permanent, too?"

Shikamaru fell backwards with a groan, "You're just adding to all our work!"

"Well, would the same thing work for both Jutsu? Blood being the keystone, I mean."

He sat up with a huff, "Maybe. Give me a minute." He closed his eyes and crossed his arms. Impatient as Naruto ever was, she still sat there quietly and let the genius go through all the calculations. Shikamaru tilted his head back and forth, frowned, muttered, then quieted for a bit before repeating the process. After several long minutes, he finally opened his eyes, "I suppose it's feasible. The only way to be certain is going to be to test it."

"Great! What Seals should I use?"

"What Seals do you use for the Shadow Clone?"

"It has its own Seal, this-" she formed her fingers into the ever more familiar cross seal, "-or the Tiger Seal."

"The Clone Jutsu can be done with Ram, Snake, Tiger; or, Tiger, Boar, Ox, Dog. The Summoning Jutsu, or the basic Summoning Jutsu, uses Boar, Dog, Bird, Monkey, Ram. So... Boar and Dog seem like a must. Tiger seems just as vital, but..." he trailed off into more muttering. "Ram, Tiger, Boar, Dog? No, the backlash of secondary chakras would be too unstable..." After several more combinations, Shikamaru finally snapped his fingers and looked up, "Okay, try this: Boar, Ram, Dog, and the special Cross Seal you showed me. You'll need a blood offering for it to work in the first place, of course."

"So what am I going to call this Jutsu?"

"Well, it's not exactly a clone, since it's essentially going to be you. Just... a slightly different you. What you're doing is basically replicating yourself."

She nodded, "Got it~!" Without a second to spare or argue over molding practices, Naruto bit her thumb and flashed through the four-seal technique and shouted out its new name, "Replication Jutsu!"

There was an enormous POOF of smoke that enveloped the whole area and Shikamaru mentally cursed. Dammit! How am I going to explain this one? 'Sorry, Ino, I accidentally blew up your sister in an experimental freak Jutsu disaster'?

Then the smoke cleared away and Shikamaru was left staring- at three perfectly identical Narutos. They looked at each other before turning to him with triple the usual foxy grin and gave him matching thumbs-ups, "Alright~! Now on to the next part!"

Shikamaru sighed and dropped his head, having forgotten for a moment there that they still needed to work out the new Transformation Jutsu, too...

xxx

And finally the chance to comprehensively answer HjLostDreams' question on Naruto's chakra control. See, this Naruto was raised by a clan: she's had training (remember Mako's comment about teaching her more Taijutsu?) and she's been forced to study at least more than the canon-Naru ever was. As a result, this Naruto has even MORE chakra than canon-Naruto does. So, even though she HAS received training for it (recall her reaction to Konohamaru's mentioning the Leaf Exercise), she's also now got even more chakra to try and control. Makoto has tried to address this the only way she personally knows how: by teaching Naruto to funnel all that excess chakra into the Leylines, and even with all that, Naruto still has too much to control for a standard Clone Jutsu. Take note of this, it'll be important later.

XXX