"So many believe that it is love that grows, but it is the knowing that grows and love simply expands to contain it."
― Wm. Paul Young, The Shack
Still Friday August 13.
Still Anastasia POV
"Fancy place isn't it?" My dad quips when he sees me come downstairs. After his business took off I knew he had money but we never exhibited it much; we're quite simple people.
"Yeah, a lot different than the pictures."
"That's for sure. I met that brother-in-law of yours. Seems like a nice young man and your husband even let me design my own room."
Speak of my husband here he comes down the stairs. "Really? I didn't know that. That was very sweet of you." I say giving him a peck on the cheek once he reaches me. He looks bewildered probably still reeling from the conversation we started to have upstairs.
We eat our breakfast in enjoyable silence with comfortable conversation flowing here and there. This is the first time I have seen my dad and Christian together for an extended period of time. I'm really grateful that they get along; I wouldn't say that if they didn't that things wouldn't work between Christian and I, but it would definitely make things a lot more complicated for all of us.
"Why don't I clear this all up and you show Ana your room." Christian suggests.
Daddy and I make our way up to his room. He wasn't kidding when he said he designed his whole room. This room looks nothing like the others at all. Because he's on this side of the hallway, he has a nice large window in his room with a beautiful view of the city. There's a desk with a Mac right under the window with a nice comfy arm chair. His bed and other furniture have a nice woody rustic feel to them and although the walls and carpet are still white, you can tell this is Ray's room. To fill the voids on the wall he has some momentous from my childhood all along the walls a long with some of the things I would see in his office at home. It's comforting to know that he has had a home away from home all this time instead of staying in some hotel and the notion makes me fall in love with my husband even more.
"This looks like your room." I joke with my dad after my musings.
"I'm glad you think so." He smiles but then his expression turns serious before he goes to close the door. "Now, baby girl, I don't think you fully understand how powerful and popular your husband is but I do and I know well enough that there are some sickos out there who live on that." Unconsciously I release a breath; I thought this would be a talk about how he doesn't really like Christian or something like that but it's just another security talk. "I've talked with his main man Taylor and so I have a gun in here." He goes to a secret hiding place and reveals a lock box. "Your husband doesn't know but Taylor does. I've had it registered to you and only Taylor know it's in here so it's safe as only he, I, and you will have a key to get in this room. The code to the box is our special day and that information stays between us. It's fully loaded and ready to go but I hope you will never need it."
"Okay, thanks for letting me know dad and I promise I will be careful. You're right I don't really know how powerful Christian is but I have a feeling I will sooner than later."
"I want you to listen to Taylor and his security team at all times do you hear me? They have your best interest when I'm not around."
"I understand Daddy."
"Okay." He says putting away the box. "Now that that's over, I think you've got a good man out there." He says wrapping his arm around my shoulder and walking us towards the door. "I've spent a lot of time with him and gotten to know him and his staff around here and I trust them with you. That doesn't mean you can't come to me too though." He says as we step out of he room.
"Of course. Thank you for being here and all your support." I say stopping us to wrap my hands around his waist to give him a hug. He replies by hugging me back harder and kissing the top of my head.
"Always Annie." He says kissing me one more time as we walk towards the steps.
About a fourth of the way down my phone starts ringing so I reach in to my pocket to check who it is. I see that it's Kate and motion to my dad that I'll be down in a few. I go in to the mystery room that is now my room to take the call.
"Hey, Kate."
"Hey! Are you all moved in yet?" She asks. I told Kate that I was finally moving back but that I was moving in to a new place today. Not a complete lie and a good way to slowly ease out of my lies from the past few months. I rationalize to myself.
"Yep, all moved in. I can't wait until you come visit, Kate there is.. Soo much I have to tell you."
"Why can't you just tell me over the phone?"
"It's complicated.. And I'd rather just see you in person when I do it all."
She pauses to think it over. "If you say so. And don't fret my young bee, you won't have to wait much longer. Once you told me you were moving I've been hounding my editor about possible things I could do in Seattle. I finally managed to find something of interest to him and I tried to get it for this weekend but it wouldn't work because blah blah blah. Anyway, I'll be flying in this Friday and you better be at the airport waiting for me!" She demands softly.
"Of course I'll be there to pick you up Kate. I'm so excited!" I am but as soon as the words left my mouth the anxiety of what she might think of this whole thing and all my lying to her starts to creep up so instead I try to deflect "So what's you're assignment? Maybe I can help?"
She goes on to tell me about...
"Sorry, that was Kate. She'll be coming to town next weekend." I say excitedly. Both men have a look of trepidation on their faces and I know they both want to address the elephant in the room. "I'm going to tell her everything. No more hiding." I chant. I'm sick of hiding and now that I feel I can live again, I have no intention to.
"Speaking of telling the truth," Ray starts "When are you going to tell your family?" He asks Christian. I think secretly some part of him blames my secretiveness on Christian but that's really far from the truth.
"Actually, we're having them for dinner on Sunday. You're still going to be here right?"
From the right smile on Rays face I already know he answer. "No sweet pea, I have a big presentation for a new client on Monday so I'll probably be heading out right before they arrive."
"But I'm cooking." I chime trying to convince Ray to stay. Although I've seen him a lot more than I usually would have since my diagnosis, it's been confined to the hospital.
"Tempting and I wish I could stay but I can't." He says resigned. "I was going to come back next weekend but since Kate-"
"Why don't I plan something for the weekend after next that way you two can spend some time together." Christian says interjecting in to the conversation.
"That sounds like a great idea." Ray says excitedly.
I know I probably sound like some spoiled brat but I'm really gonna miss having my dad around. This whole experience has brought us so much closer together.
Christian must have senses my uneasiness because he goes to his office for the rest of the day which gives Ray and I some time together. We spend most of the day lounging together in his room. We talk about how the jobs been going and how I'm feeling about my recovery and being out of the hospital. We even talk about Christian and how the marriage is going, which is weird. I mean, you never imagine your dad openly talking to you about how much he likes your husband.
"I see the love you two have for each other. Maybe I can find that again someday."
My dad has never really talked about women with me. He dated a few times that I can remember when I was a preteen and in my teen years but I don't think anything ever got serious. I don't even know who his first love was.
"I feel that way sometimes with Maggie but I'm not sure.."
"Wait. What? Whose Maggie?"
"Uh.." I raise my brows at his lack of response.
"Have you been seeing someone?" I ask with a slightly squeaky voice.
"Yes." He responds hesitantly.
"Oh my God! What? When? How long? What's her name?" I fire off questions.
"Woah there! Slow down. Her name is Margaret. I met her through work, she needed security and she called the firm. We've been seeing each other for about three months now."
"Three months! Three months and this is the first I'm hearing about her?" I ask a little angry. My dad and I don't keep secrets from each other.
"Look, I wanted to wait until I thought we were serious and then you got sick and…"
"Dad." I start turning towards him again. "You could've told me. You've been with me all these weekends when you could've been with her."
"But I wanted to be with you. And she understands. I'm sorry baby but I didn't want to put anything else on you." He says tenderly.
"Okay. I'll forgive you, if you tell me about her." I smile at my dad.
He goes on to tell me that she owns her own business in Portland. Apparently she's nice and can cook well. But out of all the things my dad told me, it's apparent that she makes him happy which is all I can ask for.
###
Us three enjoy a lovely dinner together that Christian so graciously heated up. He explained to me that Gail usually has the weekends off and although she insisted on working when I came home, he wanted to give us some time to ourselves. I understood his reasoning but it made me a little sad that I would have to wait to thank the woman who kept me from losing all my weight these past few months. My dad goes up to bed after dinner and it's just Christian and I now in our bedroom for the first time.
This is also the first time I'm in the closet with my new wardrobe. I'm really excited about the things I bought, I just hope I can fit them. And this closet is to die for. It's kind of like a 'his and hers' closet so we both have our own side and there's sort of a wall between us so I can't see his side. I think it will be fun when we're preparing to go out.
"When do you think someone can get to the storage unit to donate the clothes?" I ask stepping in to the bedroom. Christian comes out of his side of the closet right after I ask the question.
"Whenever you want to baby." He says but he seems worlds away.
"What's wrong?" I ask sitting on the edge of the bed.
He sits down next to me and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry about earlier. I want to tell you and I will just please don't be mad at me." He says sincerely.
Christian POV
After practically begging for forgiveness, Ana remains remains silent and it truly worries me. A huge part of me wishes I would have just told her everything before and maybe we wouldn't be doing.. whatever we're doing right now.
"I'm not mad.. I just.. I feel like you're keeping things from me. We're supposed to be married.." she pauses. "I'm not mad at you," she says sincerely and with conviction making me believe her. "I guess it just goes to show that we really don't know everything about each other yet." she smiles but theres more she wants to say. I can see it in her eyes.
"What else?" I ask afraid of what her answer will be.
"I don't know. I'm just.. disappointed I guess. You know all of my secrets but now I know you're still keeping something from me."
Well damn. I'm glad she's not mad but her being disappointed seems even worse. I want to tell her but years of therapy have put that so far in the back of my mind and I don't need to dig up old demons.
"That being said, I won't push you to tell me but when you're ready, I'll be here to listen." She smiles at me and then gives me a gentle kiss on the lips.
What did I ever do to deserve such a beautiful and understanding wife?
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