Chapter 18

Finally (BEGINNING TO) get my writing groove back. Merry Christmas!

Naruto growled in frustration and punched the tree she'd been attempting to climb, "To hell with this!" She'd been working on it all day and while she'd managed to make her tree grow a good twenty feet and burst into full bloom, she hadn't managed to stick herself to the bark yet.

On his next landing on solid ground, Sasuke saw her fist pressed against the tree, Naruto's whole body shaking in frustration.

"I can't- why...? Why can't I do this?" She was failing yet again, like always. Like all the chakra control exercises she had ever tried. Leaf Sticking, River Control, Tree Climbing: she was failing them all. It just- none of it made sense to her. She couldn't do it, she couldn't do anything with her chakra without the Kami damned Leylines.

Her hand splayed out on the trunk and her fingers dug into the bark, bleeding sap around the wounds she inflicted. She pressed harder, dug deeper, until her fingers ached and screamed at her, the pressure threatening to rip her fingernails from their nail beds. Failure... You fucking failure!

Naruto pulled back and punched the tree again, and then again, and again, each time harder than the last. The impact sent vibrations up her previously-broken arm that she could feel in the healed bones, and her jaw was clenched so tightly her teeth ached.

Sakura had finished this exercise hours ago, and Kakashi had let her eat and sent her off to guard their client for the rest of the day while he rested himself. Sasuke was making progress as well. Not much, as his every line overlapped at least two previous ones, but he always got just a little higher, a little farther.

All... day, and not a lick of progress. Not an inch higher- or not from chakra control. Sheer willpower and physical effort was another matter.

The warmth of Sasuke's hand on her shoulder startled her out of her thoughts, "Naruto..."

The tone of his voice instantly set her on edge. If Sasuke thought she was doing so horridly that he was pitying her instead of nettling her to do better... It was too much.

She threw his arm off and turned away, not letting him see her face, "I'm going to go check on Sakura."

She could almost feel Sasuke's nod, "Hn." The sound of Sasuke's sandals scraping against the tree reached her ears and she knew without him saying that he was going to train for a bit longer before heading back to the client's house.

Naruto ran off her frustrations. Running away from your problems... A darker part of her suggested. Failure left an acrid flavor on the back of her tongue. It wasn't just the Tree Walking, it wasn't just any of it, it was the fact that she had been trying to master chakra control for years and still couldn't do anything. She had no control, none. Anything that took anything less than everything was impossible to her. She could freeze a river in place by supersaturating it in her chakra, glory, and kill every living thing in the water in the process. She could raise a forest on the excess of life energy inside her, but couldn't even stick to a tree trunk.

It wasn't... it wasn't fair. Women were supposed to have better chakra control than men did. Naruto yelped as her foot caught on a root and threw her to the ground. She didn't bother trying to get back up. Her fingers dug into the ground and curled into fists, pressing topsoil into the palms of her hands desperately. What am I doing? The true depths of her lack were breath-taking: here she was, down a two-thirds of her overall chakra, at the end of a month of strenuous training, and having made no apparent progress whatsoever.

She could flood her chakra out into a body of water and hold it still, but that was all she could do. Herself and two clones every single day, that was three months of experience with a ninth of her total capacity and she couldn't do anything! She couldn't make the water waver or move or curl against itself at all. Couldn't stick to a tree, couldn't stick a leaf to herself! She'd managed to come up with the idea to alter two Jutsu to make them even more chakra intensive, and managed one Jutsu that she couldn't physically ever do again outside of the Chakra Forest in Konoha.

Was that all she was good for? Was that to be her future? Permanently stationed in the village to be used as a chakra battery? Was that all she was good for? Her skills were non-existent. She had adequate taijutsu, no genjutsu whatsoever, and only the Academy basics or alternatives to them. All she really had was a fuck-ton of chakra that she couldn't do anything with, and an odd ability with plants.

Naruto felt the walls closing in on her again, the gap between her and her friends once more widening into a vast canyon beyond her reach. Is that all the good I am to anyone? Tears slipped from under her closed eyelids and down her whisker-marked cheeks. It was like being back at the Academy again the night of the graduation, watching the rest of her class standing by their friends and families, being praised for something she could never do. Doing without effort something she had wanted and struggled for her entire life.

Being included, keeping her loved ones safe, being accepted: that was all she'd ever wanted.

Pathetic... Look at you now, Kyuubi-brat. She let out a choked laugh. How her tormentors would act if they could see her now. Naruto pushed up to her knees and tilted her head back so she could see the sky, reaching up towards it. No matter how hard I train, how far I come, my dreams just keep getting further and further away... The image of Zabuza's body collapsing flashed through her mind and Naruto's hand dropped.

They had watched in awe as their sensei outmaneuvered the enemy and flooded the entire forest with an outstanding vortex of water. Kakashi had pinned the waterlogged shinobi to the trunk of the tree like a butterfly to a board, and while Naruto didn't want to watch another death, she couldn't look away.

And then... and then it had been snatched away by that- by that Hunter-nin. Impossibly, in a single second with two senbon, it was over. After an hour of struggle and pain and fear, the Hunter had been able to finish Zabuza off with a flick of their wrist. Naruto couldn't believe it. They... the person behind that mask couldn't have been much older than she was.

It shouldn't be possible to do that, to snuff out a life so easily. Zabuza was their enemy just because he'd been hired by someone against them, but he was a worthy opponent, and even though he'd broken her arm, she'd respected his strength, the strength he'd worked years to gain, and all of it just- gone.

It was only when Kakashi put his hand on her shoulder to stop her that she realized she'd been walking toward the fallen shinobi, "Naruto."

She shook her head, because it just couldn't be possible. "No. It just- no." What the hell were they doing if this kid, no bigger than her, could bring down an ex-Jounin Commander even Kakashi had struggled with?

Kakashi's hold tightened, "Naruto."

"I can't... I can't just accept this!"

Kakashi's hand moved to her head and ruffled her hair, "Well, even if you don't accept it, it still happened." His voice was as unflustered as ever, not the least bit scolding, and she couldn't understand it. How could he be so calm about this? Kakashi eye-smiled at her, "In this world, there are children younger than you, and yet... stronger than me."

What could she say to that? Naruto looked away, watching as the Hunter moved to Zabuza's body and pulled him over their shoulder, "Your struggle is over for now, I must deal with the remains. Farewell."

Farewell her ass. She wanted to shout after him, to rage at the unfairness of it all. Her hands curled into fists, nails digging into her palms. But then, life isn't ever 'fair', is it...?

Kakashi's voice cut through her tangled thoughts, "As shinobi, the things we deal with are never easy. Save your anger... for the next enemy."

Her hands curled tighter. Because there's always one more enemy, isn't there? Just... damn it all.

She didn't have any more time to think when Kakashi-sensei collapsed moments later and shelved the whole situation until she could deal with it later.

Naruto sat up and shook her head until she swore she could feel her thoughts rattle inside her skull. It didn't matter! It didn't matter if she was always playing catch-up, and it didn't matter if she had no chakra control, she'd figure out some other way to succeed! Some other way to become Hokage and keep all her loved ones safe. And I can't very well do any of it laying here pouting, can I?

She stood up and dusted herself off, running to meet up with Sakura on her guard duty.

Naruto forced a smile upon her face when she saw her pink-haired friend. Sakura spotted her and waved from her position next to their client. The blonde jogged over to them and both girls fell back a pace to get a modicum of privacy.

"How's your training going?" The wince Naruto gave at the mere mention of her training must have been telling enough and they lapsed into silence.

"...How did your guard shift go? Anything interesting happen?"

Sakura's voice was soft, "Another worker left the site today. It's hard to blame him, he's just scared. Everybody's scared. But still, he left his friend, and I just... I can't comprehend it. I'd give my life for you or Sasuke or Ino without a thought. But the lives of my parents... I just don't know. Everything's so muddled."

Naruto nodded. She'd step up to the line for any of her friends, but dragging others into her fights was a different matter. She wove her fingers together behind her head and sighed, "So where are we going? This isn't the fastest way back to the house."

Her voice was loud enough to carry to their client and Tazuna was the one to answer her, looking back over his shoulder, "You want to eat tonight, don'tcha? We need to go shopping."

Naruto frowned and shrugged, "You're the client, you don't have to worry about us. It's the shinobi's responsibility to be prepared for anything on their mission. We've got enough to last us without forcing your hospitality." And whatever they didn't have she could supplement.

"It's not forced. You're putting yourselves out there to protect me even though it's outside the scope of your mission. My family's hospitality is neither forced nor obligatory."

Naruto didn't say anything else at risk of sounding rude or rejecting. Her shoulders tightened as they entered the town and caught sight of the people there. It was... horrible.

Men and women walking around with signs begging for work (and Naruto couldn't help the flash of frustrated anger at the nameless man who'd left the construction site. For all he was worried about himself and his family, any of these people looked like they'd have killed for the chance to have a job), children on the streets huddled together for warmth, no one looking anyone else in the eye as they passed one another...

A cry of 'thief' came from the left and they looked in time to see a kid escaping around a corner with what looked like a string of onions, no one willing to step in and do anything about it. No one seemed to have any energy, no one seemed to have any willpower.

Naruto and Sakura followed Tazuna through town, but it took effort. The very air seemed saturated with an aura of hopelessness. Sakura glanced from side to side, "What's wrong with this place?"

"It's been like this since Gato got here. Children suffer, and the adults are afraid to stand up to him." Tazuna pulled his hat down farther, "They've lost all hope. That's why we have to finish the bridge. We'll bring commerce and trade, but much more importantly, that bridge is a symbol of courage. We must restore the spirit of our people. When the bridge is finished, people will believe again. They'll believe that they can live a life with dignity. We can't let Gato stop us."

Sakura seemed moved by Tazuna's words. Naruto was less so. "What a load of crock."

Both her friend and their employer turned to her in shock, "What?"

"When the bridge is done, they'll believe they can live a life of dignity. Dignity isn't shown when you get what you want, it's how you behave when everything's falling in on you. It's refusing to let the world get you down when everything is against you. It's refusing to give up when all you want is to lie down and die. That's dignity, and it's not found in the great struggles, it's in the everyday moments." Naruto stopped and flung her arm out, nearly hitting one passing man in the face, "There are children sleeping on the streets, and no one's doing a damn thing about it. These people claim to be poor, to have nothing? What the hell do they have to lose by letting kids shelter in their place for the night? Lost hope, no bridge, having nothing... They're all just excuses. When you've got nothing, there's a lot to go around."

She turned away and ducked into the first grocery, Sakura and Tazuna following silently.

The pickings at the grocery were depressing in their sparsity and Naruto could feel her teammate shifting in discomfort at the vacant stares of most of the people around them. Even the shop-keeper seemed utterly despairing of them buying anything- or maybe having the money to buy anything.

Sakura haltingly picked produce and put it in a basket to take to the counter. The gazes turned on them were filled with envy, anger, and still so, so much sorrow. Naruto shook her head as they exited and walked the streets. Naruto didn't approve of the actions of the adults, but still- "I've never seen anything like this on such a scale before. I've never been so happy to be on a separate team than Neechan."

Sakura raised her head from her sandals, casting her a curious glance, "Why so?"

"Ino-nee is so advanced with the family Jutsu, she can often times read someone's mind without even meaning to. I'm so thankful she isn't here, this would break her heart utterly."

"And it doesn't break yours?"

Naruto stopped walking, Sakura halting next to her, and curled her hands into fists, "Of course not." Naruto knew what it was like to be on the other side of that despair: to know that no matter what you did, nothing would change. You'd still be just as worthless, regardless. And that, she'd discovered, was the key to her freedom. "I'm not heart-broken." Sakura reached out in concern as Naruto started shaking, freezing in place at the look in the blonde's eyes, "I'm galvanized. Gato has no idea what he's done here. You just don't fuck with people and push them down this low."

They were beginning to attract attention of the people around them and Sakura stepped closer, "Naruto..."

But Naruto was beyond listening, "You don't do this to people. Not because it's wretched: because when you push someone to the brink, when you take everything away from them... When a person has absolutely nothing left to lose, they have no reason to hold back. You never corner a wounded thing, because it will do anything it has to. Gato is going to regret this."

Sakura looked around and gasped. Naruto didn't even realize what she was doing. All the blank stares that had been aimed their way, all those empty eyes that had been watching them, for the first time since they'd stepped foot from the boat, Sakura saw life in those eyes. Fires waiting to rage from the spark Naruto had just lit.

Naruto's attention was finally drawn from herself at a tug on her pants, she looked down to see watery little eyes gazing back at her, "Food?"

Sakura flinched, looking down in their sparse basket. Naruto smiled down at the little one and patted her head, "Sakura, give me the apple." Hesitantly, she handed it over, then watched as Naruto knelt on the ground, "Want to see some magic?"

Cautiously, the urchin nodded. Sakura wondered if it was just self-preservation, because she was fairly sure that the child really only wanted the food, and would agree to just about anything in the hopes of getting it.

Naruto cleanly split the fruit without even a kunai, then placed it on the ground and held her hand over it, "Watch."

Sakura backed up silently, already knowing what Naruto was going to do. It was unwise, it was at the very least inconvenient to do it in the middle of the square, it went completely opposite to the shinobi creed of stealth and subterfuge. And yet, she couldn't fault the blonde. Sakura didn't have the heart to stop her.

A slight breeze picked up as Naruto began to channel her chakra, the little girl gasping as the blonde began to glow with inner light. The rest of the townspeople stared at them warily, but Sakura really, truly doubted anyone would do anything if either of them grabbed the girl or struck her or... anything. These people were too worn down to care, even with the spark Naruto had lit.

Gasps and murmurs of shock sounded around them as Naruto's chakra poured out into the now-growing plant under her palms, a small, tender shoot taking root between her fingers and reaching haltingly towards the sky. Sakura echoed Naruto's smile as the fragile sprout began to shoot up, drinking in the plentiful energy the blonde had to spare. The little girl's eyes sparkled as she watched the spectacle, sapling and kunoichi both glowing a golden-white, Naruto's palm flat against the trunk of the expanding tree as it spread its branches over them, just above their heads and still growing.

The whiskered girl's smile itself grew, a grin in its place as the tree matured, its roots, so tender and unsure when she'd started, digging deep into the ground for nutrients, anchoring itself firmly. This was not a simple tree that would be toppled with a strong wind or bit of rough play, this was one that would stand strong with a great canopy and deep roots.

Everyone around them stared in silence, but it was no longer in wary apathy: there was not a single mouth not dropped open in awe, including Tazuna's. Sakura smiled softly and held her clasped hands in front of her chest she saw the tears of joy and wonder several people were giving in to. She couldn't hold in a gasp herself as the tall tree burst into bloom, pale, sparkling flowers blossoming in colorful little explosions like fireworks, also glowing brightly.

They were gathering quite the crowd as some ran off to tell others and more people poured in to see just what was so fantastic, stopping dumb-stuck at the towering tree that had grown in their main square in a matter of minutes. Children wove in and out of the adults to get closer with the bravery of the young, laughing as the petals began dropping and blowing about the area in the gentle breeze. They ran and squealed, playing chase and trying to gather as many petals as they could. The adults were more surprised and focused on the branches as they began dipping from the weight of their new-grown bounty.

Sakura stood near her team mate and trembled as she heard the sobs coming from those behind her, the motion beginning at her spine and spreading out. She understood why Naruto herself had been shaking just before: the sheer overwhelming emotion made her close her eyes for a moment as others broke out in tears. She opened her eyes and reached up, cupping her hands around one of the heavy, softball-sized apples, gently plucking it from its branch as another grew near-by, emerald leaves shaking as the branch shook and the ruby fruit stopped glowing.

Sakura knelt on the ground in front of the little girl who had asked them for food and held out the huge apple, "Here you go." She offered, her voice thick with emotion.

The little girl, whose gaze had been just as bleak as those around, looked up at her with wonder in her eyes and gave Sakura an enormous smile as she took the offering, "Thank you, pretty ladies~!"

Sakura sat back on her heels and held a hand against her chest, the spot feeling tight and yet lighter than air at the simple thanks. She leaned back to watch the last of the growth as Naruto finished, the tree heavy with its load, practically more red than green with all the apples on it. She stood up with Naruto, her team mate sharing a quiet smile with her that showed so much and, for a moment, as Sakura looked at Naruto lit by the last remaining glow of the leafy canopy behind her, she thought she finally understood her.

Then she reached up and plucked one of the apples, turning around and tossing it to the closest person, who caught it on reflex alone, staring at it in surprise. Naruto beamed, "Well? Go on~! Someone else, help me pass these out: there's enough for everybody."

Sakura reached up as well, picking those she could reach and passing them out to the children who'd been running around. After a few minutes, one of the village women stepped forward and plucked an apple, hesitating for a moment before turning away and holding it out to the closest person behind her. The man in question looked surprised, then smiled softly and thanked her, turning away and handing it to someone else before stepping up to help pass them out.

Naruto urged them on, "Share and share alike. Don't be afraid to take more than one, take lots, take them back to your family and friends." She turned towards the grocery, "Hey! Excuse me! Could we buy some baskets, please? We need some carrying help."

The shop-keeper startled at being addressed, but, when Naruto's smile didn't let up as she waited, nodded and smiled back tentatively, "S-sure."

Tsunami glanced at the clock worriedly as Sasuke trailed in without his blonde teammate, noting that her father and his own kunoichi escort had yet to return, either.. Kakashi noticed from where he was leaning, "Something wrong, Tsunami-san?"

"The girls aren't back yet. I'm worried about them."

"I'm sure my students can handle anything they come across." He closed his book, "Buuuut, I think I'll go check on them just to be safe."

"The market is just off the main square, father would have stopped there on the way home. They can't have gotten lost."

"I'm sure it's nothing. We'll be back in a little bit."

Kakashi spun in place on his good leg, crutches up, having almost tripped over a flock of children going by him in a rush, giggling as they ran. He hummed thoughtfully and continued on. "Odd... I hadn't thought the mood of the village good enough for such games..."

He was outright shocked when a pair of woman talking animatedly and at ease looked over at him and smiled, waving as he went.

Naruto laughed with her team mate as Sakura spun around with a shallow basket of apples on her head, keeping them up out of reach of little grabby hands, "Nope~! These ones are for the baker down the street."

"I wanna help!"

"No, me! I can carry it!"

Trying to find a way to move without letting the little ones down, Sakura looked around a bit desperately. Naruto, thankfully, got the message, "Hey! Doesn't anyone want to help me? I'm hurt! Come on, gather 'round and I'll show you something cool." Sakura gave a thankful smile as Naruto took all the kids' attention by juggling some more apples. The adults looked on with indulgent smiles, sending some of the children off on errands to keep them out from underfoot.

Freed of her crowd of admirers, Naruto turned to several people waiting near-by and grinned, "Don't forget to dry them so they last. There's lots of sweet dishes you can make with dried apples. Here, someone give me a bit of paper or wood." She was handed a plank and pulled out a kunai, carving a few recipes into the wood. The townspeople around her, who had been so flighty before, didn't even twitch at the sudden appearance of the weapon, housewives asking more questions without ever flinching.

"Thank you so much, Naruto-sama."

"Aw, it's no problem. Thank my mother for teaching me. Oh! And don't forget the petals! Sugared apple blossom petals are the best thing for any sweet tooth." She turned around to where a huge pot had been set up in the middle of the square, some concoction bubbling away inside it.

Whatever it was, it smelled divine. Kakashi watched the activity around the square, unable to move. He blinked. Children laughing, adults chatting amicably, smiles on almost every face, and when they saw him and his hitai-ate, they all waved happily. Kakashi was... stunned, to say the least.

He caught a flash of pink out of the corner of his eye and turned, "Sakura?"

The pink-haired girl turned away from where she was talking with someone else, "Oh, Kakashi-sensei!" she looked back at her companion and said a quiet "Good bye~" before trotting over to join him.

"What is all this?"

She looked around, smiling, "Oh, well... We went shopping. It was terrible, and this little girl came up to us and begged for food, and then she- Naruto, that is -she did that thing she does with chakra and, well, you have to come see for yourself."

Kakashi motioned them forward and Sakura led him to the square. The despair that had hung in the air like an encroaching smog was gone, replaced by an atmosphere of ease and friendliness. Kakashi looked around and didn't see the flinty, steeled looks in the eyes of the people anymore. They caught sight of Naruto standing in a knot of women crowded around her, grinning as she answered questions, balanced on one leg with her hands behind her head. He blinked at the enormous tree in the middle of the square, "That wasn't there before."

Sakura shrugged, suppressing a grin that made her lips twitch, "Naruto." was all she said.

Kakashi shook his head and smiled beneath his mask. "Yeah, that about covers it."

Tsunami pushed up from the table when everyone entered, "You're all okay! I was so worried."

Naruto stepped up to her, "Say, Tsunami-san, do you have a garden?"

She blinked down at the energetic blonde, "No. One one around here does. The ground isn't fertile enough."

Naruto grinned at her, "Would you like one~?"

xxx