Author's Note: One Million Apologies! I'm a terrible person. This took a LONG TIME. I should be shot in the face. SORRY!!!! I've just been terribly busy...and writing other fanfictions...and I probably should be doing a book report that's due the day after tomorrow...but that can wait...(If He's also Bella's big brother and Rose's Ex...everything else is generally the can't tell...I'm a procrastinator. I was going to go to the convention, but it got postponed...) Remember: Emmett isn't a vampire, nor does he know the secret... I waited in line for Twilight on Friday Night. Disclaimer: If I were Stephenie Meyer, I would fix my laptop.

"...and use them as bookends!'' I heard Emmett say to Edward as I came down the stairs.

"What do you mean? You don't read." I said entering the room. "Bye Emmett," I said as he was walking out the door to go to his Saturday history class. I couldn't help but notice he was glaring at Edward as he left. "What did Emmett say to you when he was talking about the bookends?" I asked when he was gone and we were safely in his Volvo.

"He threatened to chop off my knee caps and use them as bookends." I couldn't help but laugh at that one.

"That's ridiculous," I said.

"Yeah," he said. Right then I realized we were going a different way than usual.

"I missed you yesterday, Charlie had me locked in my room all day."

"Where are we going? I thought we were going to your house," I asked.

"Oh, we are. Carlisle got very ticked about what we did Friday night, and he kinda...kicked me out. So we're going to my new house."

"Oh my gosh!" I said. "I guess you know I'm not supposed to see you for a month. No phone, no computer. Charlie even grounded me from school!"

"Yeah, but Emmett won't tell." He replied.

"And Charlie changed my name. It's Whoreface now."

We pulled up to an house on the rich side of town. Walked into the living room. It wasn't as big as his old house, but it was big. We went strait for the couch. He kissed me passionately. This soon became where we only stopped when I needed air.

"You know, if you want, there is a bed in the back room." Edward said.

"I'd race you, but that would be pointless." I replied.

"So what was that about your name?" Edward asked me about an hour later.

"At dinner last night it started when Charlie said: 'Slut, hand me the peas.' And now every time he addresses me it's 'Whoreface."

"That's ridiculous." Edward started. "If you want, I can go eat Charlie.

"Nah, that's okay," I replied.

Right then Emmett burst through the door. Then I realized I didn't have any pants on. Why did Edward not hear Edward's thoughts?!

"Bella, leave." Emmett stated. I then noticed Charlie's gun in his right hand.

"No Emmett. Put the gun down and go home." I said.

"I'm watching you." He said as he hit his head on the side of the door on his way out. "Ouch."

"He's going to tell your father. Now you aren't going to be able to see me." Edward said starting to sound depressed. He suddenly brightened up. "I have an idea that's just crazy enough to work."

"What?" I asked.

"Let's elope."

Author's Note: I know it's weird and short, and sorry this took so long.