Story 2: "Silent Moments"

Summary: Kanda and Allen spend the night in an inn after an exhausting mission. There's one major problem though: there's only one bed.

Contains a Yullen Lemon.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

It was late when we arrived at the inn and they only had one vacant room. Sharing a room with Kanda was far from ideal, but at least we'd have beds. I was tired of camping out. With Kanda. In the rain.

That mission was awful, especially when you added in the akuma and half a dozen dead finders. Fortunately, we collected the rain-causing Innocence, so the trek back was a little better, but the dense forest was still a problem. Add in the whole "I'm in love with a complete asshole who hates my guts" thing that I've got going with Kanda, and I was just miserable.

Even if we'd have to share a room, we'd at least be inside. And be able to shower. And we'd survived sharing a room before, so I could at least find peace in knowing he wouldn't kill me in my sleep.

Kanda was the first to the room, and he immediately sprawled out on the large bed like he owned it. I froze in the doorway. The bed. As in only one. I could NOT share a bed with Kanda. He absolutely would kill me. And not just because he hates me. No, if we shared a bed he'd find out about a certain problem I have. Because if we shared a bed, no amount of distraction and positive thinking techniques would be able to stop the erection I'd get from being so close to him. And then he'd kill me for being a creep and a pervert. So we absolutely could not share a bed. But dear God did I want to.

I surveyed the room, my eyes landing on a small couch. It looked far from comfortable, but at least it was there. And it certainly beat getting killed in the middle of the night by my crush.

.x.x.

I watched the Moyashi as he made his way over to the couch. He seemed to be in a daze. "What do you think you're doing, Moyashi?"

"My name's Allen, Bakanda! How many times are you going to make me say that before you get it through your thick skull?" After the outburst, he looked nervously between me and the couch. "Ah. Umm... I guess I'll sleep on the couch then? Since we clearly can't sleep in the same bed?"

"Che. We've shared a room before, Moyashi. We can share a bed without killing each other." Not killing him wasn't really the issue. No, the problem was keeping myself from jumping him. Especially when he looked so adorably confused.

"But..."

"If you really want to sleep on that awful couch... Instead of a bed... After a week outside. Then by all means, go for it." I don't know why I kept insisting he join me on the bed. If things kept up like this, I was going to end up raping him. "Just don't expect me to put up with any complaints about your sore ass tomorrow."

He looked like a lost puppy, trying to choose between comfort and safety. His silver eyes were filled with fear, and while a small part of me felt bad that he was afraid of me, the look was one that made me want to jump him. I escaped to the bathroom before my body could betray me.

.x.x.

I took my turn in the shower once Kanda was done with his exceptionally long one. I didn't say anything about it though, chalking it up to him needing to wash his hair, it did have a week's worth of forest gunk in it after all. And I was all for the hair washing, even if the result was pure torture. He walked into the room with his long navy hair down, dripping wet, and smelling of some exotic flower that I couldn't identify. I did my best to keep from drooling as I left, but he gave me a look that asked why I was being weird.

.x.x.

The Moyashi was being weird. Or weirder than normal anyway. I wondered why. And then immediately berated myself. My obsession with the white haired boy was getting to me. It was bad enough that I wanted him sexually. The knowledge that somewhere along the line I had developed feelings for the brat unnerved me. Caring about others caused nothing but pain, and love made people do stupid things. Yet I'd gone and fallen in love with Allen Walker.

The whole thing was moronic and a hit to my pride. Which is why I would never act on my feelings. The Moyashi would never know that I got butterflies in my stomach in those rare moments when he showed his genuine smile. Or that I wanted to hurt those waitresses and shopkeepers who flirted with him. Or that I got sick to my stomach whenever he was late returning from a mission. Or that I was secretly plotting Howard Link's murder - not that me planning a murder was anything new, but the reasons behind it certainly were.

This whole mission had been a disaster, but at least the Moyashi's stalker had stayed at headquarters. Because the only one who would be hurt by the blond's mysterious disappearance would be the Moyashi. And while I had no qualms about hurting the brat, that was not a type of pain that I was willing to inflict on him.

I was snapped out of my musings when the Moyashi returned from the bathroom. And the sight of a freshly showered Moyashi was what I loved most about sharing a room with him. It was somehow worth all the extra fighting I had to put up with.

He gave me a look I didn't understand. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just hoping you'd be asleep already." He looked away, and I thought I caught the faint tinge of a blush on his cheeks.

"So I wouldn't notice that you chickened out and slept on the couch? Baka." I really don't know why I was so adamant that we share the bed, nothing good could ever come of it. And despite what I said earlier, I was starting to doubt that we'd both live through the night. It was getting harder to resist jumping him, and he'd certainly kill me for doing that.

But I had challenged him, and he couldn't back down. Well technically, he could. He could surprise me by letting me get away with insulting him. But in the year I'd known him, he never had before. It was part of why I fell in love with him.

Newcomers would always try to "set me straight" on my pessimistic views, but they'd always back down when Mugen came out. Even Teidoll, who claimed to be my father, chose to ignore me when I got pissed off. And pissed off was my natural state of being. Arguments and fights were how I kept people away from me, kept from forming relationships that would only end in disaster. And everyone caved to my antisocial whims. Then Allen came along. And he didn't back down. He fought back. Every. Single. Time. Even when he was emotionally distraught over something as ridiculous as a broken doll. In retrospect, it was obvious from our first fight in the cafeteria that he would break me. I'd found him attractive from the beginning, and he was the first person in a long time to stand up to me. And he had broken me. And he was still breaking me. It wasn't just him that I had started to care for. But as long as he didn't know about my feelings, I could act like nothing had changed.

Which is why sharing a bed was a bad idea. But I was going to make him do it anyway. Because no matter how stupid it was, I wanted to. I wanted to know what it was like to share a bed with that brat, even if I wouldn't be able to enjoy it fully.

.x.x.

I didn't want to sleep in the same bed as Kanda. It was just a reminder that I'd never be able to sleep with Kanda. Being gay was a mortal sin after all. And he might not have cared about rules in the slightest, but there was no way that I ever crossed his mind like that. In fact, I was sure that the church would never get the chance to punish me: if my crush ever got out, Kanda would kill me before they could even figure out what happened.

There was also the problem that the guy was now shirtless. And his hair was still down. And he was awake.

I had hoped he'd go to sleep while I showered. But like always he seemed to be able to see right through me. He seemed to know that I had been planning to ignore him. I was stuck in a lose-lose situation. The only way out was to suck it up and do what the bastard wanted me to do. Because there would be hell to pay if I didn't.

So I went over to the bed. I tried to act like nothing was wrong, I tried to act like I was mad at him for beating me. I slid under the covers as quickly as I could, and then turned away from him.

I couldn't see him anymore, but I knew he was still watching me. Still lounging on his side with his beautiful hair splayed over his bare chest. And dear god he smelled even better up close. This was going to be a long and sleepless night.

.x.x.

Something was seriously wrong with the Moyashi. He'd done what I wanted, what I'd expected; he'd climbed in bed, pouting and glaring the whole time. But he hadn't yelled, he hadn't argued with me over bed space or the covers. Instead, he just rolled over and went straight to sleep.

I stared at him, as if watching him sleep would reveal all of his mysteries to me when it never had before. Only I realized pretty quickly that he wasn't asleep. He was just pretending. And that sent up even more red flags- he only did that when he was hiding that he was sick or injured; and just because I hadn't seen him get hurt doesn't mean it didn't happen.

"Moyashi." I hoped that my concern wasn't audible in my voice. He didn't respond.

I called out five more times before he finally snapped. "The name's Allen, Bakanda! What the hell do you want?"

He turned to glare at me and I met his stare. "I want to know what's wrong with you."

There was a brief flash of something warm in his eyes before he huffed and turned away again. "There's nothing wrong with me, Bakanda. Now stop being a moron and let me sleep."

I was too taken aback by what I saw to respond to the childish insult. It was an emotion I hadn't expected to see. I thought, hell, the whole Order thought Allen and Lenalee were together. That's part of why I'd never done anything about my feelings before, because I had thought they were unrequited. I had thought that my love loved someone else. But what I just saw contradicted all that. What I just saw said that it was me he wanted to be with.

But was that actually true, or was it just wishful thinking on my part? And if it was true, would it even make a difference? Even if the Moyashi liked me, if he was with Lenalee then nothing could happen. He wouldn't cheat on her, and he was too hung up on the rules and etiquette and such to break up with a girl in order to be with a guy. However... I knew he tended to lie about his feelings. If he knew he was gay, would he have pursued a girl just for the sake of appearances? I doubted that. Which made me wonder if he was really with her.

The questions would keep me up all night. Especially when the boy causing them was only two feet away. In the same bed. I was scared to put my feelings out there, but I no longer had a choice. Especially with that look in his eyes burned into my brain. It wasn't helping me bury the urge to jump him.

I don't know how much time had passed, but one glance at the Moyashi's back told me that he was still awake. "Moyashi."

This time he turned over immediately, anger blazing in his eyes. "What?!"

Sucking it up, I leaned in and kissed him.

.x.x.

Oh dear lord Kanda was kissing me. I froze. Completely. It had to be some kind of trick. I wanted it too badly for it to be real. He had to be messing with me.

He pulled away when he realized I wasn't reacting. I don't know what I expected him to say, but it certainly wasn't that barely audible, "Sorry."

He looked so sad, or at least as sad as someone as emotionally repressed as he was could look. Almost heartbroken. And suddenly it clicked. And I closed the distance between us in a heartbeat.

Our lips locked. The kiss was simultaneously exactly how I imagined it would be and nothing like it. It was raw and harsh, filled with a deep passion I didn't know Kanda could feel.

.x.x.

I was wrong. The Moyashi didn't want what I had just done. I didn't expect my heart to hurt that badly. I pulled away from him, almost scared of what would happen next. The Moyashi's face was completely blank; there was no trace of any emotion. And then he was kissing me. It only took a second to realize that I had judged the situation too quickly; I had simply caught him off guard.

And damn that kiss was perfect. Or rather, that moment was perfect. The kiss itself wasn't that great. It was too rough, too forced, and just plain awkward. But it was us. And it said everything we had left unsaid for so long. And above everything else it said, 'I love you and I'm tired of hiding it.'

It was all I needed to quell my doubts. Especially when his first words after it were, "If I'm dreaming don't wake me up."

"You dream about kissing me, Moyashi?" I had to tease him; the opening was too perfect.

He blushed, and it was beautiful. Then he laughed. "Bakanda. Of course I do."

I couldn't think of a reply to that, so I kissed him again. When we broke apart, his face was flushed and we were gasping for breath. "You're not dreaming, Moyashi."

"I know." The smile that he gave me was small, but it was genuine, and that made it all the more beautiful.

.x.x.

Kanda loved me. Sure, he hadn't said it out loud, but his actions spoke for him. The next day I would feel stupid for not noticing it earlier, but in that moment all I could think of was how deliriously happy I was to finally be with him.

I wanted answers from him, but those could wait. There was something I needed more.

As our lips met once again, I threaded my fingers into his hair. The navy strands felt as soft and silky as I imagined they would, and I relished in the feeling of the strands between my fingers. Kanda's hands had found their way under my shirt, and his fingers brushing against my bare skin left electric tingles behind.

I was caught completely off guard when, in one swift motion, he pushed me away and yanked my shirt over my head. Before I could process what had happened, he was on top of me, biting and sucking on my neck, his hands pinning mine above my head. The pleasure coursing through my body made me moan, and thinking was becoming more difficult.

Kanda left several hickeys behind as he worked his way across my chest. I didn't particularly want the marks, but the feeling was so good that I didn't care. So when I finally got my hands free I didn't push him away, instead I worked on his pants, our bodies close enough for me to tell that he was even harder than I was.

.x.x.

I was so caught up in marking my Moyashi, and listening to him moan under my touch, that I didn't notice what his hands were doing. Until my pants were pushed off my hips and my erection was freed. I levered myself up on my elbows so that I could glare at him, and he blinked innocently at me. "What's wrong Yuu?"

Allen just used my first name. I gaped at him, completely forgetting what I was about to say. He took advantage of my momentary lapse and flipped us over. Realizing I was now underneath him, I narrowed my eyes at him and growled. "What do you think you're doing, Moyashi?"

He laughed and leaned back so he was kneeling over me. "That's not how it works, Yuu. If you want me, and I know you do," he said with a pointed look at my exposed erection, "then you'll have to use my real name."

"Moyashi." I growled threateningly at him. I didn't particularly object to using his name, but I was not going to give in to his demands.

However, that brat was just as stubborn as I was.

"That's not it, Bakanda." He slid backwards off the bed, taking my pants with him. He stood at the foot of the bed, arms crossed in front of his skinny chest, my pants in one hand, and his eyes narrowed at me.

.x.x.

I don't know what I was thinking. I had just told Kanda that he couldn't have sex with me unless he stopped using that ridiculous nickname. And he would never do that. I wanted to kick myself.

At least he couldn't see my erection. He'd know I was bluffing if he saw that.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, staring each other down. The air around us grew tense, but it wasn't angry, it was sexual. We were going to finish what we started; there was no doubt about that.

.x.x.

I caved first. The sight in front of me was just too erotic. The Moyashi was just too attractive. He was still breathing heavily from our earlier activities, his chest was marked with hickeys, and his white hair was in complete disarray. And after months of wondering, I finally knew that he returned my feelings. I was not going to let something as stupid as his name come between us.

I climbed off the bed and stood in front of him. "You don't have to be so drastic, Moyashi."

So much for making things better, that nickname was just so much easier to say. I hurried to explain before he could freak out. "It's a habit; it's going to take me some time to break it. But I will try, Allen."

He stared at me like I had grown another head. Apparently, he hadn't actually expected me to say it. I was never going to understand that boy, it was probably best to stop trying.

I leaned in and kissed him. He dropped my pants to the floor in favor of playing with my hair. If he kept that up, I wasn't going to last much longer. It wasn't fair. He had already found my weakness, and I was clueless as to his.

It also wasn't fair that he still had clothes on. But that was easy to fix. I grabbed the waistband and pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift jerk. I felt rather than heard him protest, our kiss was too intense for him to actually form words.

The Moyashi had too much control. I pulled his hands from my hair and shoved him toward the bed. As I took in the sight of him sprawled half on and half off the bed, I was once again surprised by him. The little liar was completely erect. He was also bigger than I expected him to be, but that was beside the point. He had made me believe that he had more control than me. And he would pay for that.

I approached him, but he slid away from me. I watched as he went over to his suitcase and began to root around inside it. It was really hard to concentrate with my Moyashi bent over in front of me, with his ass in the air, completely naked. "What the fuck are you up to now?"

He spun around, grinning triumphantly as he held up a glass bottle. "Found it!"

"Found what?" I was suddenly worried.

He walked passed me and flopped onto his back on the bed, holding the bottle out to me. I climbed onto the bed at his beckoning, my knees straddling his hips. Tentatively I took the bottle from him. It had a small amount of golden yellow oil in it. I now knew exactly what he meant by retrieving it, but it brought up a different question. "Mo-ya-shiii. Why do you have this?"

He laughed. "Relax, Bakanda. It's just what's left of the cooking oil. I wasn't planning on doing anything perverted with it." His grin turned into a devious smirk. "Until just now that is."

I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering what he was up to. But then his smirk melted into a content smile, and his body relaxed in a way that said I was free to do whatever I wanted to him.

The first step would be to kill his control.

.x.x.

The look on Kanda's face said that he trusted me as far as he could throw me. And to be fair I probably deserved it, pulling a bottle of oil out of nowhere like that.

I sat up as he slipped off the bed, watching as he moved about the room. That body that I'd dreamed of seeing naked for so long was on display in front of me. And I got a little lost in tracing the curves of his toned muscles. I forgot to pay attention to what he was doing.

That's probably how I ended up with my hands tied to the headboard.

One minute I was practically drooling while watching him pick something up off the floor, and the next he was on top of me, grinding our hips together, while he tied my hands above my head. And I was too far gone in my pleasure to even think about protesting.

Kanda smirked as he pulled away from me. "There, now you have to stop toying with me."

"'Toying with you'?" I blinked, confused at his word choice.

He growled at me. "Yes, toying. You do not get to be in control, Moyashi."

I blinked again. When had I been in control? "What on earth are you talking about, Yuu? I- nnnghh!"

I was cut off when he started kissing my neck. The heat I felt was becoming unbearable, and I gave into the moans as he worked his way down my chest.

I was gasping for breath when he finally stopped kissing me. He didn't give me a break though, and licked my length. I nearly lost it on the spot. "Yuu, I-I'm..."

He let go of me immediately. "Really? Already? You're that easy?" He eyed me curiously, as I struggled to form words. "No, that's not it. You're a virgin."

He laughed in what seemed to be relief. "And here I was thinking you were more experienced than me, Moyashi." The laughter turned into a devious smirk. "Are you even prepared for what comes next?"

"Of course." I laughed, or tried to, I was a little out of it and it came out kind of muddled. But I know the smirk afterwards got across. "I did fetch the oil after all."

Kanda's devious smirk only grew as he once again brought his mouth towards my member.

.x.x.

Allen was giving me his virginity. Somehow, that made me want him even more, knowing that I was the first to touch that pale skin.

But better yet, I had found one of his weaknesses now that he was no longer playing with my hair and causing my blood to boil. It was rather obvious in retrospect. I dreamed of him doing it to me, so of course he dreamed of me doing it to him.

So I took him in my mouth. I licked and sucked on his shaft, not really paying attention to what I was doing: I was focused on my Moyashi's face, watching his skin flush and his eyes glaze over as I brought him to the edge.

It didn't take long at all before he was moaning that he was close. I debated denying him release, but I decided I didn't want to be that mean. Not during our first time anyway- there would be plenty of time for that on another day.

.x.x.

I came in Kanda's mouth, too far blissed out to catch his reaction or even wonder why he had let me. Eventually my vision returned and my breathing regained a somewhat normal pace. Kanda was kneeling between my spread legs, just watching me.

When he noticed my gaze, he smirked. "Finally ready, Moyashi?"

I contemplated the smirk, confused by what I needed to be ready for. Then I noticed that he held the empty oil bottle in one hand. It clicked just seconds before Kanda shoved a slick finger into my hole.

Something else clicked in that moment, as his finger moved around inside me. Something I'd been seeing in his eyes for several months that finally made sense: he was going to take me whether or not I wanted him to. He wanted me so badly that he had been willing to rape me.

Not that it mattered, given that we were currently in the middle of sex, but I didn't exactly have the brain power to process that. Especially once a second finger was pushed inside me. After that, all I could think about were the long, slim digits as they scissored and stretched me. They caused so much pain, but the pleasure coursing through me somehow made it worth it.

After what seemed like forever, Kanda finally did something different. But it wasn't what I had expected. He added a third finger. Why was Kanda going so slow? How did Kanda, of all people, have the patience to stretch me properly?

I certainly didn't. I bucked my hips, trying to get more from him. "Hurry up, Bakanda."

He laughed briefly, and did nothing but wiggle his fingers around more. And then everything went white. I cried out as a wave of pleasure washed over me.

The feeling was replaced with one of emptiness as I felt him pull his fingers out. The disappointment faded quickly though when he began to press his cock into me.

As he thrust into me, all I was aware of was pain. I clenched my eyes shut and grit my teeth. I had known this would hurt. And I knew it would fade. I just had to relax. Breathe deeply. And calm down.

"Don't cry, Moyashi." The whisper was soft and near my ear. I felt something warm and wet on my face. I opened my eyes to see Kanda licking away the tears that were gathering in the corner of my eye.

I exhaled slowly as I stared into his cobalt eyes. His gaze was calm, and I felt my body relax as I focused on him, Kanda, the man I loved.

"You can move now."

He didn't need me to tell him twice.

.x.x.

My Moyashi moaned and groaned, and met my every thrust. I was finally making him mine, and it was heaven.

And then I felt his hands in my hair. The slippery little bastard had somehow managed to get them free. My concentration was shot. Fortunately, that was when I finally hit his prostate. He cried out, and the sound was delicious.

A few more thrusts and I couldn't take anymore. His cries, the feeling of his fingers on my scalp, combined with the tight heat surrounding my throbbing shaft, it was all too much. I came before he did. But only by a few seconds. I released into Allen as his walls spasmed around my length.

.x.x.

As I came down from my orgasm, I felt Kanda pull out of me. He collapsed beside me on the bed, and I expected that to be it for the night. I was rather surprised when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, pressing my back into his chest and placing his chin on my shoulder.

We lay like that for some time, completely relaxed, until our breathing steadied. I broke the silence first. "Now what?"

"Now we go to sleep, Baka Moyashi." His voice was huskier than usual, and it really made the idea of sleep sound good.

"That's... not what I meant, Bakanda." I rolled my eyes at him, but I couldn't bring myself to say what I really meant.

But he apparently knew what I was getting at. His whisper in my ear was the best thing I'd ever heard. "You're mine now. You're stuck with me until I get bored of you. And that's never going to happen, Aren."

The way his slight accent muddled my name made it all the more perfect. I twisted in his arms so that we were face to face. Then I kissed him.

He shoved me away roughly, but was speaking before I could protest. "Go clean yourself up, Moyashi. I doubt you want to wake up covered in dried semen."

Laughing lightly, I followed his suggestion. I sat up and immediately winced in pain. The muscles in my lower back burned. There was also the strange feeling of fluid trickling out of my ass. And I knew without looking that some of it was my blood.

"Go shower again. The warm water will relax your muscles and make you feel better." Did Kanda just say something helpful? I looked over my shoulder and narrowed my eyes at him. He smirked as he leaned in closer to me. "Or I could help you with it."

I squeaked as his fingers made contact with the skin of my lower back. Then he began massaging the sore area. It felt so good... But it felt like a trap. And I scrambled away the second I realized what he was really up to: the second I felt myself start to get hard. I escaped to the bathroom without looking back.

.x.x.

I forced myself to clean up the bed while my Moyashi was in the shower. I didn't want to move, but I wanted to sleep on soiled sheets even less. Especially when some of that mess was the Moyashi's blood. There wasn't much of it, just a couple small spots, but it was still gross. It would have been much worse if I hadn't found the patience to prepare him.

I pulled the blanket onto the remade bed and crawled under it, not bothering to locate my pants. I yawned, hoping my Moyashi would return before I fell asleep. Because even after everything that had just happened, I wouldn't put it past him to try to sleep on the couch.

.x.x.

.x.x.

I woke up in Kanda's arms. Which surprised me. I didn't think Kanda would be the cuddling type. But I knew from last night that he was possessive. And that he thought of me as his. So that's probably where the cuddling came from.

"You're finally awake." He sounded like he was half asleep.

I wanted to turn around and see the look on his face, but I was too comfortable to move. "Yes."

"You slept on the bed."

I blinked at the half-whispered statement. "I did."

He tightened his hold on me. "I thought you might have... not come back."

Kanda was definitely still half asleep. He was too emotive to be awake. If he was awake, he would have never let me know that he'd been scared I would leave him. I didn't know what to do with that knowledge, so I laughed at him. "Of course I came back. Why would I have gone somewhere else when you were here?"

I felt him move, so I rolled over to look at him. He wasn't smiling, but his usual scowl was gone. Kanda actually looked happy. And I knew it was because of me. He pulled me in for a kiss.

"I love you."

I blushed. Kanda blinked. Then we both started laughing. We had said the words at the same time.

I'm not sure why it was funny, hearing Kanda say the words I'd been wanting to hear him say. Maybe it was because I thought he'd never actually say them. Though he had done a lot of things in the past 24 hours that I'd never expected. He'd said my name. Twice.

So maybe it was just relief. Because as much as I hated to admit it, I too had been scared that last night was a fluke. That he'd go back to hating me in the cold light of day.

But there we were. Together. Laughing in relief at knowing, with certainty, that the feelings we shared were mutual.

Kanda spoke first. "See, I told you we could share a bed without killing each other."

I laughed. "True, but I still ended up with a sore ass."