Story 6: "Escaping Secrets"

Summary: With the war coming to an end, Lenalee is sad to be losing her friends. But how is she supposed to let saying goodbye to her best friend and her "brother"? And what are Allen and Kanda going to be doing now anyway?

Contains a Yullen Lemon. And to be clear up front, it's a flashback; Allen is not actually giving Lenalee the play-by-play.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

The war was over. The Millennium Earl was dead, the Noah were gone, and the akuma and Innocence fragments were all destroyed. The final battle was tough, but we won. And even more surprising was that we all survived. There were lots of injuries, but that was nothing we couldn't recover from. My nakama were all alive. They may have been beaten and battered, but they were alive. Though some of the pieces were broken, my world was intact.

Allen was now blind in his left eye; with no more akuma in the world, his curse dissipated and left him without sight. He also lost the use of his left arm when the Innocence left it, but it was only paralyzed and he was confident that he would be able to learn to use it again. He refused to use the doctor recommended sling, saying that he wouldn't need it for long and he didn't want to grow dependent on it.

I was not nearly as confident as he was. Between my injuries and my Innocence, I had ended up completely paralyzed from the waist down, and I had lots of trouble believing that I would be able to walk again someday. While the prospect of spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair was depressing, it was still a brighter future than the war had offered me, so I didn't particularly mind. I was alive and that was all that mattered.

Lavi and Timothy were the last of the exorcists to recover from their wounds. The latter's Innocence had forced him into a coma when it vanished, and the boy spent six months asleep yet perfectly healthy. On the other hand, Lavi's coma was forced on him by the medical staff; he was in so much pain from his injuries that they had to force him into unconsciousness so that he would heal properly.

Kanda was ... I'm not really sure what happened to him in the final battle, but he was really messed up, far more than anyone else. Yet somehow, he not only completely recovered, but he did it faster than the rest of us. And while healing quickly had always been his thing, this was just weird. Based on what had happened to those of us with parasite/crystal type Innocence fragments, Kanda should have lost the use of his arms, but if that did happen, he recovered before anyone noticed. It was completely baffling, but that only slightly distracted me from my jealousy; it wasn't fair that he was perfectly fine while I would most likely never walk again.

With the war over, and the exorcists recovered, the Black Order was officially disbanded. The finders returned to their homes or went off in search of a new life. Some of the scientists did the same, but most followed my brother. Nii-san was partnering with the Head Nurse and the medical staff to start up a research hospital. The former science division would now be working towards medical advancements. I was going with them, as the whole point of their endeavor was to fulfill Komui's desire to help me walk again.

While most of the finders left right away, the exorcists all stayed at headquarters until the last of us had recovered. We discussed our plans and visions of the future, and while that was fun, it was bittersweet. We would be saying goodbye soon, and then I would most likely never see them again. I didn't want that day to come, but in spite of my wishes, time moved on.

Our last week at headquarters started with the wedding of Marie and Miranda. The pair had been unofficially courting since they met, unable to take things any further than that because of their positions as exorcists. With the war over, they were finally able to formalize their relationship, and after years of dating, they decided that they wanted to start their new life by being officially married.

It was a simple ceremony, but it was very beautiful. And as soon as it was over, the newlyweds left. Marie's parents were still alive, so he and his new wife would be going to live with them. There was a teaching job waiting there for Miranda, who was excited to apply her newfound confidence in the real world.

Lavi and Bookman left as soon as the wedding was over; they were off to find more history to record. Timothy and Emilia were the next to go; her father was finally able to fulfill his promise to make things right by adopting the boy. Over the next few days, everyone said their goodbyes and before long the only ones left at headquarters were me and my brother, Allen, Kanda, and the few scientists who were helping us with the last of the packing.

Neither Allen nor Kanda had ever said what they were planning to do next. No one could get Kanda to talk, which wasn't all that unusual, and Allen had always evaded the question with, "I thought the war would kill me; am I really supposed to know what I want already?"

These were the hardest people for me to say goodbye to. I'd only known Allen for a few years, but he was the best friend I had ever had. And Kanda was like an older brother to me; I had always been able to go to him for strength and support. Losing them was going to be heartbreaking.

I sat in my chair in the entrance hall by their suitcases, waiting for them to finish getting ready. It was weird that they were leaving together; after everything that had happened, they were friends, but they still hated each other. It was obvious even now from the way Kanda was impatiently tapping his foot as we waited for Allen. "Oi! Baka Moyashi! Hurry the fuck up already!"

"My name is Allen, Bakanda! And I've only got one working arm! I'm going as fast as I can!" The shouting was immediately followed by Allen walking into the room as he attempted to balance a box in his one good arm.

He set the box with the others, barely managing to avoid dropping it. Kanda scowled at him. "What the fuck took you so long? You packed that box yesterday."

Allen frowned at him. "I was trying to get dressed. That's hard with only one arm, you know!"

The words prompted me to look at Allen's clothing. He had attempted to put on his usual outfit instead of the tank top and sweats he'd been wearing since he'd lost the use of his arm. 'Attempted' being the operative word, as his tie was horribly crooked, he had missed a button on his vest, and his shirt was tucked in rather poorly.

Kanda snorted at Allen's attempt to dress himself. To my surprise, instead of teasing the younger, he stepped closer and fixed the messed up clothing with a gentleness that was completely out of character for the samurai. In a matter of seconds, Allen looked like his usual self. But as surprising as that was, what happened next was even weirder. Kanda took an inordinately long time straightening Allen's tie, and when he was done, he leaned in and kissed the white haired young man. And to give me an even greater shock, Allen kissed him back.

I gaped at the pair as they made out. Time stopped completely, and I couldn't tear my eyes from the scene. I had probably stopped breathing; my head was starting to swim and it felt like I might pass out. Or throw up. Either option was equally possible. I could do nothing but watch as two incredibly unlikely people touched each other in such an intimate way.

It was disgusting. And so very, very wrong. They were both men for heaven's sake! They shouldn't be touching each other like that!

I desperately wanted to look away, but I couldn't make my eyes listen to my brain. Instead, I was stuck staring at the awful sight.

But as I watched them make out, my shock and anger faded. Sure, it was weird and disturbing, but there was something perfect about it. Allen and Kanda somehow belonged with each other; they were clearly two halves of the same whole. And despite how perturbed I was, I had to admit that that was beautiful.

The moment was broken by my brother forcibly clearing his throat. "Boys! Cease that at once! That sort of thing is completely inappropriate!"

I jumped at his fierce tone. Allen turned bright red and let his legs fall from where they had been wrapped around Kanda's waist. He tried to back away from the samurai, but Kanda held him close as he glared at Komui.

There were a tense few seconds as I wondered what was going to happen next. It may have been my first time witnessing any sort of display of affection between two men, but I was well aware that homosexuality was forbidden. It was nail-biting wondering what my brother was going to do about this.

To my surprise, Komui only kept up his chastising stare for a moment before he shook his head and sighed. "You know you're not supposed to do that at headquarters. I thought we agreed that you would save the celebrating until we left this place behind. The war may be over, but it's still not safe here."

I blinked at my brother, completely confused by his words. The only part I understood was that Allen and Kanda had been together for awhile, and Komui had known about it. "What are you talking about?"

If I weren't so confused, the way all three men turned to look at me would have been comical. Clearly none of them had known that I was there.

Komui immediately freaked out at Allen and Kanda for kissing in front of me and tainting my purity. I sighed heavily, wishing I could still use my legs so that I could kick some sense into him. The freak out ended rather abruptly when Allen reminded my brother that he had lost the use of his cursed eye. "I'm still adjusting to being blind on my left side, Komui. I literally didn't see her there. Calm down."

Kanda's hand had strayed to his waist, reaching for his sword out of habit, but not finding it. It only made him glare more fiercely at Komui. He cut off Allen before the white haired young man could apologize. "You can't honestly expect us to not kiss in front of her, Komui. We're going to be seeing each other all the time. Not kissing in front of her is going to be impossible."

His comment sparked more whining from my brother, and I finally lost my patience. "Hey! I'm still lost here! Could you knock that off already and please explain things to me?"

The three exchanged a few weird looks before Kanda shoved Allen in my direction. The white haired young man blushed bright red as he smiled awkwardly at me. "Sorry, Lena. I forgot that I was supposed to tell you this a couple days ago."

I blinked at him. "Tell me what?"

Allen's blush deepened and he bit his bottom lip. "Ah, well, you see..."

.x.x.

I woke up groggily and with a massive headache. It took me longer than I would have liked to remember what had happened the day before. Johnny and Kanda had somehow tracked me down, and they had dragged me to an inn when I passed out after the Fourteenth's attempt to take over.

That was where I was now, lying on sheets that were damp from my sweat, with a once cool, but now lukewarm cloth on my forehead. I blinked my eyes open and was surprised to find that it was dark, both in the room and through the open window. The light from the moon was the only light in the room.

I pushed myself into a sitting position, leaning heavily against the headboard of the bed; I wasn't awake enough to fully support myself. I took stock of the room as I pulled the rag from my forehead and set it aside. It was just a basic inn, though it was definitely on the cheaper side. Johnny was nowhere to be seen, but Kanda was seated in a chair at the foot of the bed.

The samurai was watching me intently with an unreadable expression on his face. He made no move to acknowledge that I was awake, so I broke the silence first. My voice was hoarse and I had to swallow a few times before it came out normally. "How long was I out?"

"A little over twenty four hours." That was relieving to hear; I had been worried that it had been a few days.

Silence fell between us again, and I used the time to study the man in front of me. He was as attractive as ever, with only the subtle moonlight to illuminate his chiseled features, and I felt like kicking myself for still harboring that juvenile crush on him. Even now that I knew his past, Kanda remained a mystery. I would never have expected that he would be the one to come after me, it just wasn't his style. Before I knew it, the question just slipped from my lips. "Why did you come back?"

Expecting him to scoff at me, it was more than a little weird that he turned his gaze on the opposite wall, giving me a glimpse of the embarrassed expression on his face in the process. "To make amends. I saw the Noah in you awaken in Paris, and I ignored it. I wanted the Order to suffer for what it put me through, but I didn't realize that I was hurting you too. I came back to make things right and try to help you fight off that bastard Noah."

I sighed as I stared at the back of his head, and the gorgeous inky blue strands of his ponytail. His words were touching, but they did not make me feel better. "You're too late."

Kanda turned sharply back towards me at the words, and the look on his face was frightening. I sighed heavily. "I'm losing. He's getting stronger and I won't be able to resist for much longer. It's only a matter of days before he'll have worn me down enough to take over. You should have just stayed away."

My bitter tone was responded to with a smirk that sent chills down my spine. "I knew you'd say that, Baka Moyashi."

He moved from his chair to sit next to me on the mattress. Then he leaned close and got in my face. I tried to back away, but couldn't because of the headboard I was propped against. I was caught so off guard by his closeness that I couldn't even protest against that stupid nickname. "The way I see it, Moyashi, you just don't have a good enough reason for living."

I blinked at him. Once I got over how close he was and could focus on what he had said, his words pissed me off. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

To my surprise, he didn't back away at my outburst, but rather leaned in so close that our noses were touching. I stared into his eyes, the cobalt almost glowing in the moonlight. And then, instead of explaining himself, he closed the distance between us with a kiss.

It took a moment to collect myself and shove him away. The kiss was good, every bit as wonderful as I imagined it being, on the rare occasion where I had let myself imagine such a thing, and I wanted it to last forever. But this was wrong. There was no plausible reason for why Kanda would be kissing me at all, let alone right now.

As much as I wanted to see the expression on his face, I couldn't make myself look at him. "What the hell was that?"

"Che." There was the scoffing I had expected earlier, but it was so weird to hear it in that moment. "It was a kiss, Moyashi. Are you really that naïve?"

I scowled and shoved him again. "My name is Allen, Bakanda! And of course I know what a kiss is! The bigger question is why were you kissing me?"

"Che. If you can't figure it out, that just proves that you're naïve."

Kanda's tone made me want to hit him, like I always did when he called me stupid. But I knew from experience that he wouldn't end my confusion if I got violent, and I desperately wanted to know what was going on in his head.

Forcing myself to remain calm, I thought about what he had said. Yes, he had called me an idiot, but that was apparently because he thought the reason for kissing me was obvious. Given what he had said before he kissed me, there was only one reason why he did it. And it was the same reason why I wanted him to kiss me.

But was that really possible? Did Kanda actually want me like that?

I narrowed my eyes at Kanda, searching his expression for any sign that could tell me whether I was right or not. His stoic expression gave nothing away, though I got the distinct impression that I was amusing him. I frowned at his mostly hidden smirk. "Ok, I give up. What's the joke here? You can't possibly have meant what I think you meant."

His smirk was no longer hidden. "And what is it that you think I meant?"

I punched his shoulder. I was very unamused with the situation. "There's no way that you kissed me because you wanted to, so spill. What's the joke?"

Kanda gained a very serious expression as he leaned so close to me that I hit my head on the headboard trying to lean away. "I never do anything I don't want to do."

The words and the closeness of his body made me swallow hard. He brushed a hand into my hair and I froze in shock. "Now, Moyashi, I know that you want me, so stop trying to argue, and just let this happen."

Let what happen? I never got the chance to ask the question. The second I had opened my mouth, Kanda was capturing my lips and shoving his tongue inside my mouth. His hand that was in my hair was now gripping the stands firmly, while his other found the hem of my shirt and was now brushing against my bare skin. I was stuck. I knew that this was wrong, very wrong, but I wanted Kanda to touch me like that so badly that I couldn't make myself stop him.

I lost all rational thought when his hand reached my chest and he began tweaking my nipple. My thoughts became so clouded with pleasure that I couldn't get our kiss deep enough or my body close enough to his. All I cared about was that I was nearly naked while Kanda was fully clothed. It only took seconds for my fingers to find and undo the buttons on his jacket. He responded to my tugging on the fabric by breaking the kiss and pulling my sleeping shirt roughly over my head.

The garment got stuck halfway, and by the time I had disentangled myself from my shirt, Kanda was standing beside the bed, completely naked. His perfectly toned body shone in the moonlight, looking more like a statue in a museum than a real man. I openly stared at him, almost drooling as I took in his gorgeous form. My eyes drifted down from his muscular chest, tracing the lines of his well-defined abs down to his groin. His thick shaft was already erect, standing tall and proud, and ready for action. Its large size almost made me feel inadequate, but it made perfect sense that Kanda was packing that much heat so I didn't dwell on it. Instead, I took advantage of the situation and gave in to my longstanding desire to touch Kanda's cock.

I tossed the blankets aside and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, reaching out and running my fingers along Kanda's length. He responded to my touch with a moan that spurred me on. Kanda growled at me to stop as I traced my fingers along the veins, and when I didn't, he forcibly recaptured my lips and shoved his hand down the front of my shorts. I moaned into the kiss as his calloused fingers wrapped around my shaft and began pumping my length; it felt so good that I almost stopped what I was doing. Following Kanda's lead, I switched from exploring his dick to pleasuring him with my hands. Our kisses became little more than us breathing heavily into each other's mouths as the pleasure and tension built.

After a particularly rough yank on my shaft, I could no longer maintain my grip on Kanda, and I collapsed backwards against the mattress. He immediately pounced on me, kneeling over me and attacking my collarbone with his mouth, all without releasing his hold on my shaft. I let out a guttural scream as he bit down, marking my skin with a hickey that was going to take days to disappear completely. Not that I had the brain power to think of that at the time; I came in Kanda's hand before he was finished with the mark.

When I returned to my senses and had my breathing at least somewhat under control, I opened my eyes to find Kanda kneeling between my legs. Our eyes locked for a split second, and then he hitched my ankles over his shoulders. The action was immediately followed by something long and wet being pushed into my hole.

I briefly wondered when my boxers had been removed, but the discomfort of having Kanda's finger moving around inside me quickly distracted me. It felt weird to have something inside me like that, and it was even weirder to know that this whole thing was Kanda's idea. We were having sex because he wanted to, not because I had worn him down or begged him into doing it.

I whimpered in pain at the intrusion of a second slicked finger, and to my surprise, Kanda actually stopped moving the digits. He reached out with his free hand and brushed my bangs out of my face. I had squeezed my eyes shut to keep any tears from falling, but the gentle touch of Kanda's fingertips ghosting across my forehead had me opening them in a heartbeat. It took a moment to wrap my head around what I was seeing; Kanda actually looked like he felt bad for hurting me. "Ssh, Moyashi, just relax. It'll feel better if you let your muscles loosen up."

Letting out a deep breath, I tried to will my body to relax as the fingers inside me resumed stretching my passage. They scissored and curled and twisted, and right when I thought that this was taking too long and the moment might be over, one of the fingers brushed against a spot that made my toes curl and my vision go white. "Oh god, Yuu! There!"

Kanda repeatedly teased that spot as he continued to stretch my opening, and before I knew what was happening, I was bucking my hips, trying to get more friction from his fingers.

I tried not to whine when Kanda pulled his fingers out of me; I knew that the loss of that wonderful feeling was temporary and it was only a matter of moments before Kanda's glorious cock would be inside me. I felt his tip line up against my entrance and swallowed in apprehension. Even though I'd been thoroughly stretched, he was going to be too big for my hole.

It hurt so badly when Kanda suddenly snapped his hips forward and thrust his length all the way into me. I had to bite my cheek to keep from screaming in pain. But it faded; that sharp pain became a dull ache once Kanda was fully sheathed inside me. Letting out the breath I was holding, I felt my muscles shift as they adjusted to the intrusion, and, contrary to my expectation, I found that I hadn't ripped trying to accommodate Kanda's girth.

Kanda waited until I signaled that I was ready before he moved. He gently pulled most of the way out of me before slamming roughly back in. It still hurt, but the more he thrust, the more the pain was replaced with pleasure and before long, I was moving my hips in rhythm with his.

The feeling of Kanda's length filling and moving in my stretched passage was unforgettable. Each thrust filled me with the desire to make him go deeper and faster. He would tease me later for the way I begged for him to keep going, but my mind was too far gone at the time to care that I saying such embarrassing words. And once he shifted angles so that each thrust was ramming into my prostate, those words turned into incoherent gurgles. I came for the second time that night after a particularly hard thrust, my mind going completely blank as my body was consumed with pleasure.

When I came down from the orgasm, the first thing I was aware of was that Kanda's length was still inside me. I was worried at first that I hadn't been good enough for him, but the warm liquid that coated my insides and trickled out of my hole when Kanda pulled out proved otherwise. That was good; it would have been far too embarrassing if I was the only one of us get release from that.

Kanda smirked at me as he moved from between my thighs to lounge on his side beside me. I frowned at the expression, but it only stayed there for a second before that obnoxious smirk morphed into a contented smile, and I suddenly found myself wrapped comfortably in Kanda's arms with my back pressed against his strong chest. It was surreal to be held like that by Kanda. We were embracing like we were long-time lovers, rather than rivals who had just fucked for the first time, and that was weird.

There were so many questions rattling through my head that I couldn't focus on a single one. But I was pulled from my thoughts when Kanda's right hand began brushing through my hair. It was a gentle, caressing action, and it was not what I expected in the current circumstances. He kissed the top of my head before he spoke, and his voice was muffled by my hair. "Ok, now that that's out of the way, we can talk."

I raised an eyebrow even though I knew he couldn't see my face. "Shouldn't we have talked before we had sex?"

"Che. If we had had sex after talking, you'd get all mopey and whiny, wondering if I only said what I said to get you into bed. By doing it this way, you'll know that I mean them, and I won't have to repeat myself just to make you feel better."

His words made me frown. I wasn't sure if his logic made sense, but what he had said about me was definitely an insult. "Fine then, talk."

Despite the fact that we had just had sex, the words that came from his lips next were a complete shock. "You're so fucking gorgeous, Moyashi. I've wanted to do that to you since the day we met."

"What?" It almost made me panic to learn that Kanda had wanted me for as long as I had wanted him. But it was the other thing he said that I was focused on. No one had ever called me beautiful before. It was mind blowing that Kanda of all people was the first to say it. And what it meant was even stranger. "You mean you actually like me? This wasn't just a one time thing?"

Kanda laughed at my reaction. He brushed my bangs away from my forehead and began tracing the pentagram of my scar with his fingers. "Stop playing naïve, Moyashi. You know that I finish what I start. Your ass is mine now."

I elbowed him in the ribs. As much as I liked hearing that he wanted more from me, I did not like the way he went about saying it. "There's no way I'm going to let you just use me for sex."

He snorted and flicked my forehead. "Yes, you would. I've seen the way you look at me, Moyashi. All I'd have to do is ask and you'd drop your pants on the spot. And there's no point in denying it, you've already proved that tonight."

I turned bright red at the words. They were horribly, embarrassingly true. I really had already given him my body simply because he wanted it. But as much as I hated myself in that moment, Kanda's next words smashed that feeling to smithereens.

"But I don't mind, because now that we've had sex, I can say this and you'll know I mean it. I love you, Allen. You drive me crazy in a way no one else can, and it may have taken the possibility of never seeing you again for me to realize it, but I need you with every fiber of my being. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to be the reason why you fight against that damn Noah inside of you, and I want to be the reason why you win. I want to be your most important person because you are mine."

The things he had said made my heart flutter, but as much as I believed that he was telling the truth about his feelings, there was no way that I was going to give mine up that easily, especially after how easily I'd given him my body. I turned in his arms and stared suspiciously at the sincere expression on his face. "Prove it."

"How?" The way his expression stayed honest and open was unexpected. "I've put a lot of thought into it, but I have no clue how I could possibly prove to you that my feelings are sincere."

I raised an eyebrow at him. It was hard to hide my smirk; I had Kanda right where I wanted him in order to best mess with him. "That's easy. If you really know me as well as you claim to, you would know that I am not a submissive."

Kanda briefly looked shocked, but it faded quickly, and he was once again brushing his fingers gently through my hair. "I thought you'd want something more meaningful than sex, but if that's really what you want, then that's fine with me. I'm more than willing to let you take me if it means you'll believe that I'm telling the truth."

I was somewhat impressed; Kanda at least knew me well enough to have understood what I was saying without me having to actually say it. And I may have been messing with him, but I was definitely serious about wanting to top him, and it meant a lot that he was willing to go along with that. But on the other hand, did he actually mean that he'd be willing to submit to me, or was he just saying what he thought I wanted to hear and hoping that simply offering would be enough to placate me? "You'd really let me do that to you just to prove yourself to me?"

He shrugged. "Why not? I would have let you do it anyway."

"Really?" I blinked at him, trying not to sound too surprised.

"Yeah." He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling for a moment before he smiled sideways at me. "At least once anyway. For all I know, the sex might actually be better with you on top. I'm willing to find out. And if it means that you'll believe that I love you, then that's all the more reason to do it."

Even with his earlier confession, that had to be the most romantic thing Kanda had said to me that night. I opened my mouth to speak, but Kanda suddenly propped himself up on his elbow and stared suspiciously at me. "Why are you giving me such a hard time about this?"

I smirked at him. "Did you really think I'd just say 'oh my god, I love you too' and that would be it? It may be true, but that doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy on you."

Kanda was scowling like he was going to argue with me, but then I blinked and he was suddenly pushing his lips against mine. We kissed briefly and when we broke apart, I found myself lying on top of Kanda with our chests pressed together; his hands on my ass held me firmly in place. He stared into my eyes and I almost lost myself in his cobalt depths. "Say it for real this time."

The time for teasing was over. I'd had my fun with him, now it was time to be serious. I gave him a quick peck then lay my head on his shoulder over his tattoo. "I love you, Yuu."

.x.x.

Allen and I had moved off to the side to talk, sitting in the corner while Kanda and my brother began moving the various boxes that cluttered the room. My jaw fell to my lap as I listened to Allen explain how he and Kanda got together back while they were on the run from the Order, and how they had been dating ever since.

It was stunning to hear that Allen and Kanda had been a couple for that long, and it was definitely embarrassing that I hadn't noticed their relationship in the slightest. They were supposed to be my best friends; I should have at least noticed that there was something going on between them. I felt better as I realized that I hadn't noticed because they'd been intentionally hiding it, homosexuality was a major taboo after all, but all that really did was make me feel like they didn't trust me.

I wanted to tell Allen how I felt, but before I could say anything, he started talking again. "Surprisingly, or maybe that's 'unsurprisingly', as it makes perfect sense in retrospect, Kanda was actually right about that whole 'reason to live' thing."

I blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

Allen sighed and dropped his gaze to his lap, his right hand absently playing with the fingers of his paralyzed left hand. "When Kanda and Johnny had found me, my days were numbered. The Fourteenth was trying to take over several times a day, and I was so exhausted from fighting him and being on the run that it wasn't uncommon for me to pass out for days at a time; I hadn't been exaggerating when I told Kanda I was losing. But after that first night together, after finally confessing my feelings and connecting with Kanda, everything was different. The Fourteenth was still trying to take over, but as Kanda and I grew closer, the attempts became easier to fight off and grew more and more infrequent, until they just stopped altogether."

That was surprising to hear. When Allen had returned to the Order, we had all been told that the Fourteenth Noah was dead. I had questioned Allen about it at the time, but all he would tell me was that it was true and that he'd been ordered not to share the details. I never once suspected that he'd beaten the Noah with love.

There was something off about this story though. I raised an eyebrow at Allen and voiced my confusion. "And where was Johnny while all this was happening? Wasn't he traveling with you?"

"He was. And he knew all about what was going on between me and Kanda, having walked in on us-" Allen paused and made a face, clearly trying not to say out loud that the scientist had seen them in an indecent state, "-more than once. I was very freaked out the first time it happened, but Johnny just laughed it off, saying that he was glad we'd found something more productive to do than stab each other."

Allen gave a sheepish smile with the words, and I couldn't help laughing at him a little. He made a face at me and then continued with his story as a way to change the subject. "Anyway, it was Johnny who pointed out when it had been two weeks since the last incident with the Fourteenth, and it was him who convinced me to come back to headquarters. It took quite a lot of convincing, I was obviously messed up after everything that had happened before I left, and-"

I interrupted with a snort. "Obviously."

"Right, you were there, you know what happened." He gave me that sheepish smile again. Then he sighed and ran his good hand through his hair before returning to his story. "When we got back, we met with Komui, but Johnny beat me to the explanation and told your brother everything. And I mean everything. He outed us as a couple before we got a word in edgewise."

"And how did my brother take that news?" I was incredibly curious about that. My psychotically overprotective brother was probably overjoyed to learn that the two men I was closest with were gay.

I was hoping for a story about my brother losing his cool, but I was disappointed. "He acted like it was perfectly normal for us to be together. It was freaky at the time, but I seriously doubt that our relationship would have survived this long without his help. He's been helping us hide from Central these past few years, and he's going to help us figure out how to hide our relationship out in the real world too."

I almost burst out in tears of joy as the meaning of his words hit home. "You mean you're coming with us?"

Allen smiled and squeezed my shoulder in a sideways hug. "For now. We haven't decided how long we're going to stay yet, but we'll at least stick around until we get a handle on civilian life and I can use my arm again."

I almost knocked my chair over returning his hug. I knew that it wasn't going to be for forever, but I was overjoyed that I would be having more time with those boys who were so precious to me. Allen laughed as he straightened my chair, and Kanda actually let me hug him when I called him over. What I had thought was going to be the saddest day of my, thus far, rather tragic life was now something wonderful.

.x.x.

A year of tests, exercises, and serums later, and I could actually stand from my chair. I could only walk a few steps without help, but with the crutches, I could go anywhere. At the rate I was recovering, I would be able to walk unassisted again in just a couple months, and from there it was only a matter of time before I'd be flexible enough to be able to kick my idiot brother in the head once more. When I wasn't working on my legs, I kept myself busy by working as a receptionist for the hospital.

Allen and Kanda worked as orderlies, fetching and carrying things for the nurses and scientists. They both agreed that the work was beneath them, but it was the only way to "earn their keep" and neither were the type to just sit idly around.

Allen's arm was almost completely back to normal. He had regained movement of the joints just six weeks after starting the therapy my brother had developed, and he was now back at full strength. He had lost a lot of his flexibility though, and was still working to regain his ability to cheat at cards.

The last year had been perfect. Sure, it was full of pain and hard work, but that was nothing compared to what being an exorcist had been like. Plus I loved working as a receptionist; it was so similar to my former hobby of bringing everyone coffee. And on top of that, I got to see my best friends every day and wasn't worrying about them being in life or death situations anymore. I had walked in on Allen and Kanda in bed together once, but they were fortunately under a blanket and I didn't see anything; I never forgot to knock after that.

Then came the day when Allen told me that they were leaving at the end of the month. I had cried and begged him to stay, but when he explained that he had fully recovered six months earlier and they had only stayed as long as they had because of me, I knew it was time to let them go.

Besides, once I finally stopped crying, Allen was able to tell me that they were only moving out of the hospital and into the nearby town. He and Kanda were going to be teachers at the boarding school, and they would have plenty of time to come visit me or meet me in town for coffee. They may have been leaving, but it wasn't like I was never going to see them again.

My brother had found them the jobs, just like he had promised he would. Komui and Mr. Kellner, the school's headmaster, had been meeting to discuss a potential alliance between the school and the hospital, and when it happened to come out that Mr. Kellner was supportive of homosexuality, Komui couldn't resist recommending Allen and Kanda for his staff.

The headmaster jumped at the chance to have an Asian teaching martial arts at his school, but finding a fit for Allen was a little harder. Which wasn't surprising to me. I knew Allen better than anyone, and I could not picture him teaching anything that wasn't "how to cheat at poker" or another equally disreputable subject.

I laughed when Allen confessed that he couldn't picture himself as a teacher either, but my laughter quickly turned to tears when he admitted that it was because he'd never gone to a single day of school in his entire life.

My sympathy for him just put him off, so I collected myself and tried a different tactic for making him feel better. "Don't worry about it, Allen. You're going to be great. It may take a while for you to get the hang of being a teacher, but once you do, you'll be everyone's favorite. The kids are all going to love you."

When the end of the month came, it was hard to say goodbye, but unlike when we left the headquarters of the Black Order, this wasn't an ending, it was a new beginning. I wasn't losing them; I was letting them have their freedom. We would be even better friends now that it was because we wanted to be friends rather than because it was what our circumstances dictated. And I was excited for what would happen next.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

A/N 3/16/17: A seven month gap, but I finally posted another story. This is the last story in this series though. I've started several other stories with the intent of posting them here, but in their currently half-finished states, they're all already too long to be single chapter stories. I may in the future write a story short enough to go here, but after over a year of writing and posting fanfiction, I like the idea of posting stories individually now.

Which leads me to a question for all of you who read this story collection: I've been debating for some time about taking the collection down and posting the stories individually. I've gotten mixed feedback from the people I've talked to in real life, so I'd like to hear what you readers think. Would you prefer I leave the collection alone or would you like it better if I were to split it apart and post the stories separately?