Two months later

Pynoths

It was no secret to SGA1 that Ronon and Elizabeth had been having problems since Tia's death. Ronon kept wondering if he had done something wrong to make Elizabeth withdraw from him but he couldn't think of anything. He'd tried talking to Elizabeth but she'd brush him off. She had barely let him touch her, he'd tried holding her after Tia's death but she had pushed him away so quickly. He wanted to know what was going on with her but he couldn't find out because she wouldn't let him close anymore.

He'd decided that he needed a break from her, from Atlantis, he couldn't deal with the way she was. When Teyla mentioned that she was going to Pynoths, an ally planet, Ronon asked if he could tag along. Teyla was slightly confused by that but agreed.

Teyla and Ronon were now sat in a bar on the planet, drinking some of the local alcohol. It was much stronger then any of the booze on Earth or the Athosian Moonshine but Ronon needed something strong. Teyla, herself was enjoying more drink then she normally would but she felt like relaxing. The team had been on a lot of missions lately and she hadn't really had any time to herself just to relax and she missed that. She'd also missed spending time like this with Ronon. The two of them used to be so close but during the last year they had drawn apart.

It felt like old times, except they weren't together anymore. Teyla didn't know whether it was the drink but she'd missed not just spending time with him but being with him. She still held feelings for him but she hid them well.

Unsteadily Teyla stood up, almost immediately falling back down. Ronon grabbed her arm and stood up himself. He steadied himself and Teyla followed him to her feet. The two of them didn't look any worse then then people around them, it seemed that the effects of the alcohol effected everyone not just them.

The two of them stumbled towards one of the two rooms which had been set aside for them by the Pynothains representative.

It took Ronon a lot longer then it normally would have to open the door but once he did him and Teyla stepped inside.

Teyla stumbled towards the bed and laid down. Ronon dropped down next to her and sighed. The two just laid next to each other, almost forgetting what had happened the past year.

Teyla sat up slowly, she felt a bit dizzy due to the alcohol she'd consumed. Teyla turned her head slightly but stopped, jerking her head back to it's original position before slowly turning to face Ronon who was still laying on the bed, looking at her with a look she hadn't received from him in nearly a year. She didn't know if it was the alcohol or whether he just wanted to do it but Ronon rose from his position and kissed Teyla.

His lips were soft and inviting. The taste of what they had been drinking filled her mouth once more as she kissed him back. The kiss only lasted a moment. Teyla pulled back and looked at him. She knew it wasn't right for them to be doing this but...but all the arguments in her head were losing a battle to her desire. Slowly Teyla leant back in and kissed Ronon. This time the kiss was harder and Ronon pulled Teyla in towards him, holding her waist as she sat herself on his legs.

This lasted for a while until Ronon turned her around and pushed her down onto the bed. Teyla didn't resist, in fact she made it easier for him. She undid her jacket and dropped it to her side. Ronon's hands slid over her stomach and up to her arms. His hands then ran across her breasts as Teyla did her best to remove his shirt.

It didn't take very long afterwards for both to realise what they had just done was wrong. Truth be told they knew it was wrong when they were doing it, but they couldn't stop themselves. In a flash Teyla had found her clothes, got changed and left the room as quickly as she could. Teyla walked quickly to her own room which was just down the corridor, near running the last part of the journey.

When she finally reached the room she ran in and dropped onto the bed, burying her head into the pillow and crying hard. The pillow muffled her cries which carried on for nearly an hour. At random intervals she would call Rodney's name and even apologise to him.

After a little while she lifted her head from the pillow and sat against the wall which the bed was up against. She pulled the pillow round and held it close to her chest.

She couldn't believe she'd betrayed Rodney like that, after all she was supposed to love him. All she wanted to do now was shower, wash away the shame. Slowly she slipped off the bed and walked over to the connected bathroom. One thing she loved about the Pynothains was that their plumbing advancements were similar to those on Atlantis.

She turned on the water and removed her clothes. A few moments later she stepped under the spray.

Ronon punched the pillow behind him, cursing himself for being so stupid. Why in the hell didn't he stop it? Why wasn't he able to realise before it happened how wrong it was, instead of after. Ronon quickly put his clothes back on and sat on a chair which was placed near the window. The last place he wanted to be was that bed. Ronon rubbed his forehead hard before punching the wall next to him. He stood up and did it again and again until there was an hole in the wall and his fists were bleeding. He looked at his fists and decided that it was pretty much a fair trade for what he had just done.

Sighing Ronon sat back down on the chair and hit the back of his head against the wall.

Atlantis

Elizabeth sat in the mess hall, drinking a glass of milk. It was late so the mess hall was empty and poorly lit but Elizabeth liked it. It meant that nobody could see her and she could be alone. Although there would always be one person who disturbed that and this time it was Kate who came and sat opposite her.

"How are you Elizabeth? We haven't talked"

Elizabeth smiled slightly

"I'm okay. I've just been thinking though...I've really given Ronon a hard time haven't I?"

Kate nodded briefly

"He mention to me, informally, that he felt you were pushing him away."

Elizabeth dropped her head into her hand and sighed.

"I don't mean to, it's just...I don't know, it seems easier to hurt him then deal with my own hurt"

Kate understood that, slowly she stood up.

"You're in danger of loosing him. It doesn't matter how much he loves you...if he thinks that you don't want him, he will move on."

Elizabeth nodded slowly as Kate walked out of the mess hall, the sound of her heals clicking on the marble floor eventually fading and disappearing. Elizabeth stayed where she was for a little while longer, contemplating what to do.

The next day

Ronon and Teyla stepped through the Stargate. They hadn't said one word to each other except for agreeing that they couldn't tell anyone. Ronon had protested saying that he wanted to be honest with Elizabeth but when Teyla had reminded him that Elizabeth wouldn't care how honest he was with her, all she would hear is 'I slept with Teyla' and that would be the end of the two of them, Ronon agreed to keep it silent and never mention it.

When they arrived back on Atlantis the first place Teyla went after the infirmary was Rodney's lab. She watched him from the doorway as he typed on his laptop. His lab was quiet for a change and it was obvious that the experiment he'd stayed on Atlantis to do was over. Teyla walked over to him, Rodney heard her and looked up smiling at her.

"Hey, you're back. Did you have fun?"

Teyla leant towards him and kissed him hard. Rodney was a little taken back but recovered well. The two of them pulled back after a little bit and Teyla looked at him. She couldn't help but feel so guilty about what she had done the night before especially when she looked in his eyes and saw so much trust and love.

"I love you Rodney"

Rodney looked at her slightly concerned. He pulled her down onto a chair opposite his and held her hands.

"Are you okay Teyla?"

Teyla nodded slowly

"I just missed you"

Ronon hadn't seen Elizabeth yet and that for him was not a problem. He didn't know whether he could face Elizabeth yet and not tell her what happened. He just wanted to be honest with her, he didn't want to lose her.

Ronon sighed and walked through the corridors to his quarters. When he opened the door he was shocked to see Elizabeth sitting on his bed. Ronon swallowed hard as Elizabeth looked up at him smiling.

"Ronon, how was your trip?"

Ronon nodded and dumped his things near the door.

"Yeah...it was...fine. Nothing uneventful."

Elizabeth smiled again and nodded. She stood up and walked over to him slowly, she took his hands and noticed the cuts on his knuckles.

"What happened?"

Ronon shook his head and shrugged

"I punched a wall while training with some marines the other day"

Elizabeth looked sadly down at his hands

"I should have known that"

Elizabeth looked back up at him, dropping his hands.

"I have some things to apologise for Ronon. I've put you through hell the last few months and you didn't deserve it. I was just...I was just upset about Tia and about what happened and I never meant to freeze you out. I'm just so sorry"

Ronon quickly pulled her into a hug to hide his own tears.

"You have nothing to apologise for"

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him.

"I do have to apologise. You've been so strong for me and you've stood by me and you didn't have to"

Ronon buried his head into Elizabeth neck, placing kisses along the collarbone. Silently he kept muttering 'forgive me', not that she'd ever know that though.

One week later

John walked into the gym expecting to see Teyla and Ronon training so he was slightly confused to see Teyla training alone. John checked his watch, nope he wasn't early or late. He walked over to Teyla who seemed in some sort of trance as she trained.

"Teyla?"

Teyla turned round in shock, nearly whacking John over the head with her sparing stick. She wasn't wearing all her usual training gear. She was in a long sleeved t-shirt but she was still in her long skirt with slits in the side to make it easier for her to move.

Teyla dropped her sparring sticks.

"I am sorry Colonel Sheppard. I didn't see you there"

John nodded and took a step back from her.

"Don't worry about it, you didn't do any damage."

John picked up one of the sticks from the floor and spun it in his left hand.

"So where's Ronon. I thought he'd be here"

He saw Teyla tense slightly before looking up at him and smiling.

"I'm not sure where he is"

John nodded and sat down, he wasn't stupid, he knew something had happened.

"Teyla what's wrong? You haven't been yourself for days"

Teyla smiled and shrugged, a little too happily

"Nothing is wrong Colonel"

Teyla was about to pick up her things and leave the gym when John stopped her by grabbing her arm. Teyla turned round slowly and glared at him.

"Let go of me"

John let go of Teyla's arm but not before pulling her back into the gym and making her sit down next to him.

"Talk to me Teyla. What's going on?"

Teyla sighed and looked away from John. Tears formed in her eyes as she closed them.

"When Ronon and I were on Pynoths something happened. Between us"

John sat trying to decipher what she meant by that. He had an idea but he didn't want to jump to conclusions or start throwing about accusations.

"What do you mean by that Teyla?"

Teyla turned to him and sighed

"I think you know what I mean by that"

John shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"What the hell were you thinking Teyla?"

Teyla shook her head sadly

"I wasn't thinking. He wasn't thinking, it just happened. I feel terrible about it and if I could take it back I would but I can't."

Teyla could see that John was getting pissed off.

"What about Elizabeth? What about Rodney? Did you think about the two of them before you...?"

Teyla closed her eyes and looked down, shaking her head

"I didn't even think about Rodney until afterwards and then it was too late"

John stood up and started pacing around the room. Teyla stood up a moment later and sighed

"I have already punished myself accordingly, it's not like I'm getting away with this"

John looked at her in confusion

"What do you mean you've punished yourself?"

Teyla looked down and sighed

"In accordance to Athosian law an act of uncleanliness, such as...what I did...is punished with an act of self harm. It helps us remember that if we do it again...that is how we will be punished. It helps us to associate"

John stepped forward to her

"Self harm, are you kidding me?"

Teyla shook her head and slowly John realised something. In one swift movement he grabbed Teyla's arm and lifted up the sleeves to reveal fresh cuts on her wrist.

"Obviously not. Teyla what were you thinking?"

Teyla pulled her arm away from him and pulled the sleeve back down over her cuts.

"It is my culture John, I will live my life in accordance to it's rules. Not yours"

John nodded slowly and sighed

"Are you going to tell them?"

Teyla shook her head quickly

"I can't. We can't and you can't say anything either. It would cause too many problems. Do not hurt Elizabeth"

John closed his eyes.

"Don't do this to me Teyla, don't make me lie to her"

Teyla walked forward towards him

"I am not asking you too lie Colonel. I am simply asking you not to tell her"

John rubbed his forehead and sighed.

"It doesn't happen again. If I find out that you and Ronon are starting something up again I promise I will tell Elizabeth and Rodney."

Teyla nodded slowly

"Then I have nothing to worry about"

Four Months later

Ronon pulled Elizabeth in closer to him and sighed. The past four months he had been doing all he could to try and make it up to Elizabeth for what he did. So many times he'd come close to telling her the truth but stopped himself, knowing that was Teyla said was true. Elizabeth would never forgive him.

Ronon drew his hand down the soft skin of Elizabeth's arm. He looked down at her, she was sleeping peacefully, her head on his chest. He could feel her breath tickling across his skin and it made him realise how damn lucky he really was.

They were good at keeping secrets. Maybe it was their military training or maybe it was the fact that they didn't know how people would react, nor did they want to know how people would react. This was their business, why should anyone else be involved? Truth was they knew they were breaking regulations. Although they weren't sure who would be found liable for the trouble they would get into. Lorne was his commanding officer but Bates held more power as head of security. Either way it wasn't like it mattered. They were not on Earth and they couldn't really see John throwing them in the brig, after all he'd have to fight with Elizabeth for that. Lorne was Elizabeth current pet officer so he couldn't see her letting him get in trouble.

Lorne had to admit, it was cute how Bates got so jealous about the amount of time he was spending at Elizabeth's side on the current negotiations.

It didn't take long after Bates nearly died for the two of them to admit that their feelings were not as innocent as they first hoped and thought. They both knew they could get in monstrous amounts of trouble. Bates, at first, was concerned. After all he was a good little Marine who always followed the rules, no matter what they were. He wondered why in the hell he was having feelings like that for another man, not to mention his commanding officer and tried to get rid of them but Lorne...Lorne treated him in a way which nobody else did. The two developed such a close friendship and Bates hoped that could be enough to get rid his feelings but it turned out that Lorne held the same feelings.

When Lorne had first met Bates he'd seen him as a capable officer and was quite sad that they would be loosing such a good officer while he recovered from his Wraith attack on Earth. It hadn't taken long after for Bates to get back to Atlantis after that. During his time away Lorne had heard some things about Bates, not a lot of it good. It was mostly about how he was arrogant. Lorne hadn't wanted to judge the man, after all he didn't know him. So Lorne ignored the comments and got to know him and liked what he had found. It had happened early at first, and then soon he was bombarded by how he felt. He knew it wasn't right but he didn't seem to care. He was more than sure Bates felt the same way but didn't want to approach him about it and he didn't. Not until he almost died, not until that staff weapon almost took Bates away from him.

They remember how it happened. How they finally revealed to truth to each other. It had been a quiet night and after training they decided to go to the mess hall and get some coffee. The two talked and drank coffee for hours before walking back to their rooms. Lorne's room had been first on their stop and the two said their goodbyes. Bates had then walked back to his room taking the long way, and tried to clear his head. When he arrived back at his room he punched in his security code and the light from the hallway revealed Lorne sitting on the bed. Lorne looked up at him, causing Bates to walk into the room. When Bates was in the room and the door shut behind him Lorne stood up. He walked slowly towards him, Bates could tell he was nervous. Bates had thought about talking a step back but didn't, instead he took a step forward towards the other man. The next few things all happened in a flash for both men. Lorne had lifted his arm and placed his hand behind Bates' head and pushed it forward. He met his lips with his own in a desperate, wanting kiss. Bates was shocked and it caused him to tense at first but it didn't take long for him to relax and kiss Lorne back. After a minute Lorne pulled right back from Bates, putting as much distance between the two of them as possible. It had felt weird, not just for Lorne but Bates as well. Lorne had then excused himself and tried to leave the room and Bates was going to let him but he couldn't and ended up stopping him, grabbing his arm and saying one word that made a big difference 'Jamie'. Lorne had slowly looked back round at Bates and before the two knew what had happened they were kissing again.

That had been eight months ago and they didn't regret that move, not yet.

Lorne placed his head down next to Bates' on the pillow. Bates ran his hand on Lorne's back and rubbed it up and down his back. Lorne smiled and sighed contently before sliding his mouth to Bates and kissing him.

He knew he would have to leave soon but was reluctant to do so. Sometimes they'd forgot and woke up late which meant that one of them would have to try and sneak out when it was possible that people would be going through the corridors. It had been surprising that they hadn't been caught leaving each others rooms but at least they weren't having to do any explaining yet.

Teyla left her quiet quarters and walked the short way to Rodney's lab, she entered to see him working with one of the cute blonde female physicist. She sat on one of the chairs near his laptop and watched the two of them. Since telling John about what happened with Ronon, Teyla had been terrified that John would say something, but he didn't. He'd kept it quiet. She knew he wasn't doing it for her, he was doing it for Elizabeth and Rodney, to protect them. As Teyla sat there watching the man she was supposed to love get hit on by the cute blonde physicist she wanted to tell him the truth, tell him that it had happened but not meant anything but she wasn't sure he would react the way she wanted him to. She wanted him to understand, to be forgiving but she knew he would hate her, he wouldn't forgive her and he wouldn't understand. So she kept quiet, thinking about her life and about them until Rodney turned round and saw her.

"Teyla, what are you doing here?"

He walked towards her and the cute blonde physicist shot her a look which said 'bitch'. Teyla was aware that this physicist had a crush on Rodney and was not a very nice woman when it came to what she wanted. Teyla looked away from the blonde and back to Rodney

"I couldn't sleep. I came to...to see if you were nearly done with your experiment."

Rodney shook his head and turned to his laptop.

"Nope, I've got a lot more data to input."

Teyla shook her head in amusement

"Have you been here all night?"

Rodney nodded quickly, his focus still on his laptop

"I'm going to get some sleep during the day."

Teyla nodded. She loved Rodney and he loved her but since what happened with Ronon she'd felt them drifting apart, maybe because she couldn't deal with what she'd done. Slowly Teyla rose and closed the short distance to Rodney were she placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I will see you in the morning."

Rodney turned slightly and placed his lips gently to hers.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Teyla nodded slowly and smiled before leaving his lab.

3 Months later

Elizabeth untangled herself from Ronon, despite his many sleepy protests and got changed quickly. This had to be a joke. She left her quarters and made her way down to the pier, shocked at what she saw. It wasn't a joke, there was the Daedalus. Elizabeth's eyes were very big and she stood there in utter shock, only being broke out of the musing when Steven Caldwell walked towards her.

"Dr Weir?"

Elizabeth smiled and shook her head, still in utter disbelief

"I don't know what to say. I never expected to see you again"

Caldwell nodded in agreement. Elizabeth suggested they go to her office. Obviously she had questions and he had to be brought up to speed about changes in Atlantis.

When they reached her office, Elizabeth sat in her usual spot and Caldwell sat opposite her.

"Well Colonel, this is a pleasant surprise. When did the Stargate project get reinstated?"

Caldwell tilted his head slightly

"Technically the Stargate is still out of use, we have access to her our ships though. We were hoping that you would come back to Earth with us to try and negotiate with the other nations to put Stargate control back in the hands of the American Military"

Elizabeth was slightly confused

"I thought you had a British diplomat with you. Carrie Malone"

Caldwell rubbed his forehead and sighed

"I'm sorry to tell you this Elizabeth but Carrie Malone was murdered about five months ago. We haven't found who did it but there were several governments who believed that if she was out of the way, Britain would stop supporting America. We're investigating I promise. We'll find who did it"

Elizabeth dropped her head into her hand and sighed deeply. Carrie was dead, she couldn't believe that the governments of Earth would go to such extremes to stop the American Military having the Stargate.

"They murdered a civilian?"

Caldwell nodded slowly and sighed

"They all deny it but...well we're pretty certain. Dr Jackson was devastated. He and Carrie had formed a...relationship of sorts."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and sighed. Poor Daniel. Elizabeth couldn't help but feel at fault, after all if she had left when requested Carrie might not be dead

"When do you leave?"

Elizabeth knew she had to stop what was going on and if that meant leaving Atlantis she would.

"A few days"

Elizabeth nodded slowly

"I'm coming with you then. I want your assurance though that I will be allowed to come back to Atlantis"

Caldwell nodded

"You have my word"

3 Weeks later

Earth

When Ronon had heard that Elizabeth was going back to Earth he told her that he was going with her, he wasn't the only one. Rodney and John had both been asked to go back to Earth for meetings and many other members of the civilian crew had asked to go back to Earth to visit their loved ones for a few days which left Teyla and Lorne in charge of Atlantis. Teyla had been reluctant to be away from Rodney for nearly a month but Rodney was glad that they'd have a bit of time to themselves. Teyla had been very clingy for months now and it was suffocating him. He wasn't used to it.

Elizabeth was actually happy to get back to Earth, she was planning to make some time to see her father up in Chicago.

While on the trip over on the Daedalus Ronon had started a conversation which had left Elizabeth rather confused. Just over a week into the trip it had been Ronon and Elizabeth's two year anniversary and Ronon, after a very nice meal and some alone time, had said some things to Elizabeth which had indicated that he wanted commitment, which on the whole shocked Elizabeth because she'd never seen him as the commitment type. Ronon hadn't mentioned it again but Elizabeth could tell he was still thinking about it.

SGC

The Atlantis team were escorted along the corridor to the briefing room of the SGC. Waiting in the briefing room was General Landry, General O'Neill and the Joint Chiefs. The four members of the Atlantis team sat in the places which had been set aside for them. Elizabeth between Jack and Ronon and John between Ronon and Rodney. General Landry was the first one to speak.

"Dr Weir, Colonel Sheppard, Dr McKay and...you must be Ronon Dex. Welcome back to the SGC. Dr Weir, let me be the first to extend my deepest sympathises for the loss of Carrie Malone. I understand that the two of you were friends. We are investigating and I promise we will find the people responsible"

Elizabeth nodded slowly and took a breath.

"Thank you, I hope I can finish Carrie's work. I know all she would have wanted to see was this problem resolved"

Ronon looked at Elizabeth sadly. She'd told him about how close she'd been with Carrie and she had ended up crying in his arms for most of the night. But now she was strong, she was here and she was going to end this argument between the different countries.

Two days later

It hadn't taken Elizabeth long to get all the representatives into one room and shout at them for being immature. She had basically told them to work things out or she would make their lives very difficult. She made them sit down and talk it through. Carrie had done all the work, Elizabeth had just finished that work. They finally came to the agreement that the programme would stay in the hands on the American Military with Britain, Russia, China and France each having their own SG team. There were lots of minor details to work out as well but all agreed that the Stargate could start being used again within the month.

Elizabeth was glad it was finally over, it meant she could see her father. Ronon had offered to go with her and Elizabeth was happy to let him but he had come down with a strong case of the flu. Ronon protested that he was fine but that had just caused Elizabeth to laugh slightly. He had a high fever, his skin was sticky with sweat and he was having problems staying awake.

"Ronon, you're ill. You're staying here"

Ronon sighed and hit his head back against the wall behind him. He was ill and he knew it. Elizabeth had never actually seen Ronon ill before so it was quite funny. Elizabeth took a step forward and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

"I'll be back in a few days."

Elizabeth started to pull back when Ronon grabbed her waist and pulled her forward to him. Elizabeth smiled to herself, even when ill he couldn't keep his hands to himself.

Ronon kissed her before suddenly becoming very serious.

"When you get back, we need to talk"

Elizabeth sighed, the last time he got this serious was on the Daedalus when he started talking about commitment.

"Is it about what we were talking about on the Daedalus?"

Ronon nodded slowly and Elizabeth bit the inside of her mouth.

"Okay"

Elizabeth kissed him again before leaving the infirmary. She sighed once she was outside. It wasn't that she didn't love him but commitment was a long way off for her. She'd been with Simon five years before leaving for Atlantis and refused two marriage proposals, which she knew had hurt him deeply. Elizabeth wasn't the commitment type. In all honesty, it scared her. She knew it was silly but she always thought that if she ever got married life would turn boring. But then again Ronon wasn't the type of man to suddenly go boring on her, quite the opposite really. Elizabeth sighed as she walked into her temporary quarters and picked up a small travel bag. She walked along the corridors before bumping into John, who was carrying a travel bag, similar to hers.

"Hey John, where you going?"

John joined her and the two walked to the elevator.

"I'm heading up to Chicago to see my sister"

Elizabeth turned to him in disbelief has she entered the elevator.

"I thought your sister lived in New York?"

John turned to her and cringed. He'd been caught out

"Okay. Ronon asked me to go to Chicago with you. He mentioned you were seeing your Dad and he thought you'd need some support. Given everything"

Elizabeth sighed and looked down at the floor.

"John, I don't need protecting. Surely you two know that"

John nodded

"We do. But Elizabeth tell me honestly that...seeing your Dad...won't that upset you. Given the fact that he might not remember you"

Elizabeth looked up at him and rested against the wall.

"It's not like my Dad's ill. It's just old age. I'd be lying if I said that seeing him try to remember me won't be upsetting but I'm a big girl John. I've gone through it before"

John shrugged and sighed

"I know that. But Ronon...he wants someone with you."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and stepped out of the elevator doors as they opened.

"If you're coming with me, hurry up"

Elizabeth called as she walked away from the elevator. John smiled and picked up his back before jogging to catch her up.

TBC...