The next day
Lorne found himself being flipped onto his back very easily by Bates. Okay this was ridiculous, Lorne had never been flipped by anyone but Teyla, Ronon or Elizabeth so being flipped by Bates was embarrassing, although he had to admit if he'd been spending his time watching his back instead of flirt sparing with the man he wouldn't be having this trouble.
Bates held out his hand and Lorne took it and lifted himself to his feet, holding onto Bates' hand a little longer then necessary before moving back from him. Both Ronon and Teyla had cancelled all their training sessions so John had asked Lorne to take them. Lorne had reluctantly agreed but only because he couldn't tell John the truth about the real reason he wanted the day off. It had been a year exactly since he and Bates had got together and he had plans to celebrate it but he couldn't exactly tell John that so he'd agreed to take the two sessions. Bates, at first had been pissed with Lorne, until he showed him exactly what he was planning to do with him after the sessions. Bates had decided to go along to the sessions as well. Both men were slightly amused that none of the others even suspected anything but that was part of the fun of their relationship. The other fun parts of their relationship was that it was wrong and forbidden. Not to mention everyday they carried on with it the situation got worse and worse.
Lorne ended the session and as soon as anyone had left he went over to the gym door and closed it, removing one of the crystals so it couldn't be reopened.
Bates didn't realise until he tried to open the door. He then turned to see Lorne looking at him, smirking. Bates smirked back and walked to him. He grabbed him and pushed him against the wall. His mouth covered his immediately.
Bates continued to push Lorne harder into the wall as they began to battle for control over the other. When it finally looked like Lorne was about to get the upper hand something disturbed them. Someone was trying to get into the gym.
"Fuck"
Bates pulled away from Lorne reluctantly and the two grabbed the their things and went to the door. Lorne picked up the crystal.
Is anyone in there?"
"Yeah, the door's stuck, I think one of the crystals is loose."
Lorne pushed the crystal into it's appropriate place
"Shall I go get someone?"
Lorne punched in his security code and the door opened. The person trying to get into the gym was one of the young Marines who had been brought over on the Daedalus.
"Are you okay Sirs? You look...flustered"
They both nodded
"Yeah, we're fine the door sticking just pissed us off that's all"
The young Marine nodded, not looking convinced but excepting it all the same. The two men left the gym and once they were out of ear shot Lorne turned to Bates
"That was damn close"
Bates shook his head and sighed
"We've got to be more careful Jamie. The last thing we need is the Daedalus Marines finding out. If they find out, Caldwell finds out, if Caldwell finds out the two of us are back on the next ship to Earth."
Lorne nodded, he knew it was true but he knew they had an ally. Someone Bates didn't know about.
"Weir knows"
Bates turned to Lorne. His eyes wide hoping he had just misheard.
"Excuse me did you just say Weir knows?"
Lorne nodded. Bates cursed and hurried the pace to his quarters. He wouldn't have this argument with him in the corridors. This was a private argument.
They reached Bates' quarters and within the first ten seconds of being in the room Bates was already dangerously pissed.
"You told Weir?"
Lorne shook his head
"Of course not, Jeez Marcus she figured it out herself. She's not stupid. She told me that it's our private life and she's not going to do anything about it. She also said that if it became well known and we were ordered to go back to Earth she would protect us. She said something about bringing in something she's been working on with Sheppard. Atlantis military which is basically her own military division ran by her and only her. She would make the rules. That way we could say we're part of that military establishment and they couldn't punish us"
Bates wasn't bothered about Elizabeth knowing now, he was more interested in what Atlantis Military was.
"What else did she say about Atlantis Military, did she explain it?"
Lorne nodded and sat down.
"Yeah, she thought with the number of Athosian's wanting to join Atlantis teams and, this was when we were cut off from Earth, with Earth not being in contact that their Military rules were basically not valid here because there was no one to enforce them. She thought it might be easier for all the Athosians and those of us who want to join her military to be grouped under one set of rules."
Bates rubbed his forehead
"What about those who didn't want to join Atlantis military?"
"Elizabeth said that those who didn't want to join would be free to stay under their military rules, those ones would report Sheppard and the Atlantis military would report to her"
Bates shook his head.
"Does she have any idea the amount of trouble splitting the military could cause? I mean did she think this through?"
"Hey, relax. Obviously now we're back in contact with Earth the Atlantis Military plans won't go ahead. Why does this bug you so much?"
Bates sighed
"It doesn't, it's just...if she had gone ahead with it, the division of the military would have been dangerous. People would have stopped trusting each other."
Lorne took a step forward and kissed him
"Relax, it's not going ahead. She just mentioned it and it would have been a way of keeping us out of trouble"
Bates nodded
"I know, I just think she should leave military situations to the military."
Lorne shook his head slightly, he'd heard from a few people that Bates had a problem with a civilian being in charge of the expedition but he'd never believed it, but with the way Bates was acting it seemed that the claim might hold some weight.
"Do you have a problem with a civilian being in charge of this expedition?"
"No of course not, I didn't say that. Why are you getting so defensive of her anyway?"
Lorne shrugged
"I'm not getting defensive of her, I just think that she deserves a lot more respect than she gets"
"If she wants respect maybe she should stop sleeping around with the members of the expedition"
Bates cursed himself, he hadn't meant that. He hadn't meant to say that.
"Is that what this is about? Because I told you, while trying to be truthful, that we slept together. First thing, that was after she and Sheppard broke up the first time, she didn't know she was pregnant and it was once or and for the record I was the one who initiated it, not her."
"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. That wasn't a dig at you."
Lorne shook his head and walked to the door.
"Whatever"
Lorne left Bates room and walked the short distance to his own room. He dumped his things onto the bed and went into the bathroom to turn on the shower. He stripped off his clothes and stepped under the warm water. He couldn't believe that Bates was jealous about something that happened years ago. It hadn't even meant anything to either of them, it had been one of those things.
Lorne knew it probably wasn't a good idea, after all she knew she'd had a rough couple of days but he knocked on the door to Dr Weir's quarters none the less. A few seconds later the door opened to reveal Elizabeth standing there and damn how was it physically possible that she could look hot in a tank top and jogging bottoms with her wet hair tied up in a messy ponytail.
"Major, what can I do for you?"
Lorne took a moment to steady himself before answering.
"I need your signature on these before the Daedalus leaves in the morning."
Elizabeth looked at the papers in his hands and nodded.
"Of course, come in"
Lorne stepped into her room as Elizabeth took the papers from him and walked over to her desk where she started to sign them. Less then a minute later she handed the papers back to him with a smile.
"Thank you Ma'am"
Elizabeth nodded and sat back down on her bed and began to type on her laptop, when Lorne didn't leave she looked up at him.
"Is there something else Major?"
Lorne shook his head and walked to the door before turning round to her
"No actually...there's rumours flying around and I just want to ask you..."
Elizabeth cut him off with one simple movement of her hand. The index finger thing which Rodney was familiar with.
"Major, it is nobody's business except my own. And while yes what you heard may be true...it will not be effecting my work so you have no reason to worry"
Lorne nodded and turned back round.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Lorne was about to activate the door when her voice stopped him.
"I'm fine, thank you."
Lorne turned back round to face her. He walked over to the bed and sat on it facing it.
"I know what is like. And, if you want to talk to anyone, I'm here"
Elizabeth nodded slowly
"Thank you Jamie, but...you really shouldn't concern yourself with happens with me"
Lorne sighed
"Yeah, I know I shouldn't, but I do."
Lorne stretched out his arm and placed his hand on her cheek and then down to her neck. Slowly he pulled her in towards him and kissed her. Elizabeth pulled back very quickly and looked back at her laptop. Lorne sat watching her before closing her laptop halfway through a sentence and moving it off the bed. He didn't know what he was doing, he knew it was mad but he couldn't help himself. He thought she was a very attractive woman and at the moment she hurting and he wanted to help her get rid of that hurt. Lorne lent forward and kissed her again, this time harder, this time he pushed her backwards onto the bed. She was beautiful, he'd thought about this so many times but always knew she was off limits but now...she still was in a sense but nothing ventured nothing gained.
Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed his lips harder onto hers. Lorne knew that he was not the one she wanted but...he could deal with that.
Lorne moved his mouth from her lips to her neck and shoulder, he began to bite and kiss at the delicate soft skin. He knew this was a potentially dangerous thing he was doing, especially if John ever found out but he wanted this and Elizabeth didn't seem to be holding back.
It did take long for Lorne to get rid of every piece of clothing on both his and her body. His mouth dropped to her breasts and he began to nip on them with his teeth before sliding the whole nipple into his mouth and sucking on it.
He started to move down the rest of her body, kissing the soft moisturised skin. He moved further down her body but Elizabeth stopped him from going any further but grabbing his shoulders and hoisting him back up to her lips. She kissed him hard and this only aroused him more, the feel of her skin rubbing onto his. He couldn't wait much longer, he kissed down her neck and breasts one last time before sliding into her without warning. He swore all the air was sucked out of his lungs as he entered her, just for a moment.
It didn't take long after for him to come inside her, he knew that was stupid but he hadn't planned on having sex with her so hadn't brought any condoms with him and he had been too caught up in the moment to pull out. He muttered her name into her neck as he did and a few moments later he heard his own name being said quietly, but it was his name. It wasn't Major, it wasn't Lorne, it was Jamie. And he had to admit he'd always wanted to hear her say is name like that.
It was only afterwards, after they'd both come down, that they realised that it had been stupid. That it had been inappropriate. Elizabeth had asked him to leave and he did.
Lorne's breathing began to become more and more rapid as he remembered that night, as he remembered sliding into her, hearing his name when she came. Being with her.
That had been the first time since being with Bates that he had fantasised about that night with Elizabeth, since he'd thought about that night in so much detail, remembering every movement they made, every dip and curve in her body.
Okay, so maybe it had meant more to Lorne then he ever let on but the fact of the matter was that she was his boss and for him, that had meant she was off limits. When he found out she had miscarried he flipped because a part of him had wondered if the kid had been his, but he'd heard, from a few Marines that didn't know when to keep their mouths shut, that she had been over five months pregnant and that didn't fit into the timeline, if it was his kid, she'd have only been around four months pregnant, not five. He'd never asked her about it, he had fought about it. He always knew that the gossips could have gotten the wrong dates, she could in fact have only been four months pregnant but he was too afraid to ask. The two of them had never spoken about it, as far as they were concerned it had been a one night stand. One never to be repeated again.
Two days later
Elizabeth sat in her office, just staring into space. To anyone looking in the control room it would have seemed like she was working, to those who actually knew her, they knew she wasn't working. Her mind was full of thoughts, full of images, full of memories. Mostly it was full of hurt. For the last two days she had been increasingly withdrawn, only speaking to certain personal members and only when necessary. She'd retreated to inside herself, to the only person she could really rely on and that had worried some people, particularly Rodney and Carson. She'd already seen Carson for some sedatives so she sleep at night. Carson had been reluctant to give her them until she pleaded with him, patching through to their friendship.
She's said some particularly weird stuff to Rodney which had made him slightly worried. He knew she'd been hurt but he didn't know how much it had effected her.
He'd mentioned it to Kate but she had just placed her hand on his shoulder and told him that some wounds were hard to heal, he didn't have a clue what she meant by that but Kate did. Elizabeth had been hurt so many times that it was only natural that she would revert into herself, loose trust in those around her and question things about her life. Although she couldn't say that to Rodney, he wouldn't understand and she wouldn't be able to elaborate.
The door to Elizabeth's office opened but she didn't even realise. It was Rodney. He stood there for a minute, watching her. She seemed smaller then usual, more withdrawn and pale.
Rodney cleared his throat, causing Elizabeth to look up at him, startled.
"What can I do for you Rodney?"
Rodney produced a cup of coffee and a sandwich. He walked over to her desk and placed the two items in front of her.
"I thought you might want something to eat"
Elizabeth smiled to herself and then looked up at Rodney. He was truly a sweet man, not many could see that about him, but she could.
"Thank you Rodney."
Rodney nodded and left the room. Part of him wanted to wrap Elizabeth up and do anything to look after her and keep her safe. Another part of him knew that she didn't need looking after but that was fighting a loosing battle with the caring side of Rodney.
He'd had just as rough a time as her but he seemed to be handling better then her. He'd thrown himself into his work, he'd removed every trace of Teyla from his life. He'd made it obvious to her that there was no chance reconciliation and it seemed that she had excepted that. But Ronon, Ronon was still trying to do all he could to try and get Elizabeth back and it was stopping her from trying to move on with her life. Rodney had considered saying something to him, asking him to let Elizabeth move on with her life, but every time he got up the courage the thought of Teyla with him filled his head meaning he couldn't stand to be near the man.
Rodney turned his head slightly and watched Elizabeth. She was sat, still staring into nothingness. The pain written across her face for all to see.
Elizabeth bit into the chicken salad sandwich reluctantly. She knew Rodney had meant well and she loved him for that but since finding out about Ronon and Teyla, she had been constantly off her food, which had resulted in a lecture from Carson about her eating habits at the best of times.
Elizabeth chewed a piece of the lettuce repetitively over and over again before swallowing it. She kept doing that until there was a hesitated knock on the glass door. Elizabeth looked up and saw Teyla standing there. Elizabeth swallowed hard, placed the sandwich down and motioned for Teyla to come into the room.
Teyla slowly opened the door and walked in. She was holding some reports which she passed to Elizabeth, without really looking at her.
"Some reports, from when you were on Earth"
Elizabeth nodded slowly and took the documents.
"Thank you"
It was barely more then a choked out whisper and it hurt Elizabeth that this woman used to be her friend, her close friend.
Teyla heard the whispered 'thank you' and was about to leave, but she couldn't. She had to say something, had to make her understand.
"Elizabeth, you have no obligation to listen to me right now but I hope you will"
Elizabeth looked up at Teyla. The Athosian's eyes were watery. Full of tears and pain. Elizabeth reluctantly nodded and Teyla continued.
"You have no idea how guilty I have felt about what happened. I knew as soon as it happened that it was wrong and that I'd made a big mistake. You must believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you. I could never hurt you intentionally. It was a mistake. Ronon wanted to tell you straight away, he wanted to be honest with you...I begged him not to, I was afraid of loosing Rodney."
Elizabeth snapped her head up and cut in.
"You did loose him and Ronon lost me. If you had told us straight away...maybe things could have been different. But you lied to us...for eight months you lied and you got John to lie. You put him in a awkward situation...you made me find out from him. Teyla you should have been honest with us."
Teyla shook her head. She knew Elizabeth had a point but part of her was pissed on how in the hell Elizabeth could take the high road, after all she had been the reason for Teyla and Ronon splitting up to begin with.
"You sit there and say I should have been honest with you...but you were never honest with me about Ronon. You lied to me and never once told me you held feelings for him. He left me for you. I hated you for that but I realised that...I realised that you and Ronon...you wanted to be together so I let it be."
"Do you and Ronon want to be together? When you slept together...was the spark still there?"
Elizabeth's question came out of nowhere and it threw Teyla off guard. She could remember feeling the guilt but had she felt so guilty because the spark between she and Ronon still there. She didn't know and it meant that she didn't know how to answer.
"I don't know. I truly don't know. But what I can tell you is that...Ronon still loves you. It's too late for me to try and salvage what I had with Rodney but...it's not for you and Ronon"
Elizabeth looked up at her Teyla, her eyes slightly squinted.
"It is too late Teyla...Ronon and I can't get back what we had and I'm not sure I'd want to. Part of him still loves you and I could never...never compare to that. Ronon once said that you and I were so alike and that the only difference was that I made him crazy..." Elizabeth shook her head and looked down "...Maybe I did make him crazy, maybe what we had was special once but it's not anymore I don't think I'm wrong in saying that you are the one he wants, the one he's always wanted. We were a momentary thing...I wish I'd realised it earlier though...that's my only regret"
A few tears fell down Teyla's cheek. She wanted so much to hold Elizabeth and comfort her but she knew she couldn't. She knew that was the last thing Elizabeth wanted. Slowly Teyla left Elizabeth's office.
When Elizabeth was sure Teyla was gone, she allowed a few tears to fall from her own eyes. Elizabeth quickly raised her hand to her mouth and bit on one of the fingers gently. She would not allow herself to cry, she wouldn't do it. She would not waste tears over him, over them.
After a few moments she recovered. She removed her hand from her mouth and picked up one of the reports Teyla had just dropped off. She placed in in front of her, using it to replace the sandwich which she then placed into the bin next to her desk.
TBC...