April 15th 1993
Maris and I went to a formal "Dinner and Mystery Fund Raiser". It is quite an intriguing concept. It's a hundred dollars a plate. During the dining, the hosts of the evening offer clues that will lead you to the charity they are supporting. One makes donations along the way even before the charity is revealed. It's according to how much fun one is having and the one to make the biggest donation before the charity is revealed, looks like a hero and gets a standing ovation from everyone. Well, you can imagine the embarrassment Maris felt when she got up to use the powder room during the evening and someone called out "Anorexia!" Maris stayed in the ladies room the entire evening. No one could coax her out. She staying in there two hours after the fund raiser was completely over. They called the fire department to go in and escort her out. Maris was so upset that she had me stop my donation check. Now I am known around the city in many social circles as "The Anorexia Check Giver"… because my checks seem to keep shrinking.
Dad paid us a visit a few weeks back. We were on to him because he never offers to come over. Still, it was to our surprise to find that he had painted the soap in Maris' shower with clear nail polish. I hope he's happy. Maris went to her dermatologist twice that afternoon before I was able to get home from work to calm her down.
Revenge is a dish best served cold Dad. It's never too late to get you back. I was thinking, perhaps, "paying him a visit" and covertly putting lemon pepper into his pepper shaker. Never mess with Niles Crane!