Gossip Is His Coffee Chapter 2, a south park fanfic

Title: Gossip Is His Coffee

Chapter Two: Consequences

Disclaimer: South Park was created and written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I did not come up with these characters that I am using. The idea of this story was originally done by Paperleaf. Their story that this is based off of is, "Rumors at South Park High". Please, go check out their story, it's awesome. And read some of their other stories as well. I like their stuff. (Isn't 'copy and paste' just a fabulous little invention?)

Author's Note: There seems to have been some confusion about the last chapter – although most of you seemed to get it at the end of your reviews…So, to relieve you of your misunderstanding, yes, Tweek did write the article at the end of the chapter and he did accidentally swap the two articles.

Helpful? Hope you enjoy this chapter.

~…~

"Tweek," Wendy called after me softly. I spun, ready to chew her out. But two things crossed my mind at that precise moment and in exactly this order: I'd have Stan to deal with. It's not her fault anyway… "If you're not Anonymous, do you know who is?"

I could have caved. I could have gotten it over with but I remembered what Craig had said moments ago: "I'm gunna kill whoever wrote this shit!" I felt my lower lip tremble and I shook my head, much to Wendy's disappointment. "Even if I did, I wouldn't have told them anything." My secrets…My friends' secrets…I hadn't meant for them to get out like this. I wasn't going to tell anyway!

"I know," Wendy assured kindly. "I was just thinking is all…" She turned and went over to Stan. At least I hadn't wrecked their relationship. I wish I hadn't trashed Kenny and Kyle's. Then a new thought struck me. Where was Christophe? Maybe I'd pissed him off…

Hesitantly, I turned from my friends again and went to my locker. It wouldn't open when I spun in the combination – twice. I hit it, using my frustration as a back-up. I really wish I hadn't become Anonymous. I tried my combination again and my locker swung open, hitting me in the face. "Gah! This sucks!" I screamed, kicking the locker below mine.

"Respect school property, young man," a passing teacher snapped tonelessly. I ground my teeth together. Could today get any worse?! I started going through all the shit in my locker, looking for my history book in vain. Hey, my day just got worse. I remembered that my text book was sitting on my desk at home – along with my finished homework assignment. I let out a frustrated shout. I grabbed a book to read, shoved it into my backpack, and slammed my locker shut. What had I done to deserve such a crappy day? Hadn't I gotten enough bad days in my lifetime to pick up seven people's slack? I walked soundlessly down the hall and out the back doors. I might as well get a U in citizenship along with the F I knew I was going to get. And I might as well do it with style too.

~…~

"Sluffing?" my mom cried, sounding horrified – though I wasn't sure if the horror was directed at herself or me. "I thought you were better than that!" I flinched. Damn, the school was fast.

"We didn't raise you to behave like this!" my dad agreed angrily. He was obviously mad at me. I hung my head and let my smile show. They sounded like Butters' parents (I'd only been there once in 6th grade…I hadn't gone back though). Now I knew how Butters felt: Like crap. "I can't believe you." Just don't take away my coffee, please.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again," I told them sincerely. After a lot of yelling, I finally walked outside and sat on the porch. I sighed loudly and folded my arms over my knees, resting my head on them. I hadn't anticipated my parents' reaction – which was very stupid of me.

"Hey, Tweek. Your parents busy or something?" Craig asked casually, walking over to me and sitting down on the sidewalk. It was like this morning's hissy-fit hadn't even happened. He stared up at me with his beautiful blue eyes. I almost laughed. He hadn't really changed much over the years, only getting cuter. And angrier…

"No. I sluffed history and now they're freaking out. I can't stand to hear them scream right now," I told him, burying my face in my hands in frustration. "It's too much pressure." Actually, I hadn't changed much either.

Craig's eyes widened and he opened his mouth a little, letting it hang there for a moment before snapping it shut. "You sluffed a class?" I nodded. "Wow…That's wicked cool, Tweek." I smiled and we sat there for a minute in a peaceful silence. It made me wonder what kind of crazy trouble Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman were up to. "Tweek..." Craig suddenly started and I turned my attention back to him. "You never told us what you thought about the article. Whoever it was mentioned that they had to write a story about you next." He stared at me apprehensively.

I sighed. What did he expect me to say? What would I have done if I'd written one about me? "I don't really care, actually. It's all just bullshit in the end," I replied as nonchalantly as I could manage. The thing that bothered me was he thought someone else had written the article; he thought someone else was in love with him. It made me sick to imagine who he might think it was. "They're just rumors, after all."

Craig stared at me, his eyes wide like he hadn't expected my reaction to be so mild. After a moment, he blinked and nodded. "You're right…I guess. But come on! What would you have done if someone had written some love crap about you?" I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. I don't think I'd expected anything different from him but I still felt the sting.

"I think I'd be flattered," I all but spat. This was ridiculous! Our reactions, I mean, were so harsh. I hadn't really expected much from my friend but it was still hard not to be angry at him. "Let's talk about something else now, okay?" I requested, trying not to sound so furious this time. If I couldn't keep my emotions out of my voice, everyone would know by the end of the week that I'd written the article.

"Why'd you sluff math?" Craig asked curiously, tilting his head like a confused puppy. I couldn't help but smile. "What?" He smiled back cautiously.

I shook my head. "Nothing. I sluffed because I'd forgotten my text book and homework again. I'm almost positive that I'm getting an F in that class…" I trailed off, remembering how upset my dad was last time I'd gotten an F. I should've thought through skipping before-hand.

"I'm getting F's in four of my seven classes," Craig mused in a wondering tone. "Oh yeah! Did you want a U with that F?" He laughed at his joke. It wasn't all that funny because it was true but I laughed along with him. "Damn, Tweek, I didn't know you had it in you to do something like that."

"What? You think I'm Butters?" I snorted. "You need a reality check, Craig." It'd been awhile since we'd just sat and joked around. School had kind of strained our relationship – high school, that is. I thought we were patching up nicely. But this just showed me how much I missed "the good old days". It made me kind of sad.

"Whatever. Hey, what time is it? I forgot my cell on my bedside table again," Craig whined, leaning back a little. He'd only gotten cuter over the years…

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I pulled out my cell phone. "Four," I told him, shoving my cell back into my pocket. "You in a hurry?"

"Not really. My parents are just being asses again and want me home before five. They gave me the dumb curfew after they found out that Clyde and I had set that old building by the church on fire," Craig explained with a short laugh. "It was totally worth it. I wish you could've seen it, Tweek. It was so pretty." And this moment has been brought to you by my pyromaniac friend…

"You were the ones who set it on fire?" I asked, amazed. He nodded with a grin on his face. I felt like I was missing something important. "But it was scheduled for demo anyway…"

"Yeah, but they – by they, I mean everyone in town – were really pissed because it was so close to the church." He made a mock horrified expression and joked, "Oh no! The building made out of bricks might get scorch marks on it!" He snorted. "It's stupid."

"If I asked your opinion on everything, it'd all be stupid," I told him in an exasperated tone. "Did you finish your book report?" He shook his head. "I did. I just hope that I don't forget it tomorrow."

Craig jumped up with sudden urgency. "It's due tomorrow?!" he cried in horror. I nodded, startled. "Crap! I have to go home and get it done so my dad doesn't get mad at me for getting another F." He sprinted off, waving at me over his shoulder. I laughed as I watched him run off. My laughter died down, though, when the wind whistled past my face and made me shiver. I wondered what the other students would think when Anonymous disappeared.

~…~

"Ugh! This is so lame!" someone cried by the school newspaper stands.

"Shut-up and take a newspaper!" one of the kids handing out the papers shouted, shoving one into the kid's chest.

"Uh…No thanks!" She handed the paper back and walked away. I couldn't believe it. My gossip was all these people lived for. People who had taken the paper unknowingly were walking around talking to each other angrily. I didn't feel any better about my situation though. I went over to my friends, suddenly drained.

"Hey, Tweek," Clyde said enthusiastically. "How's things?" I shrug, sitting down in one of the lunchroom chairs. "You're not twitching," he muttered in terror. "Something's wrong. What's wrong?!"

I made a grumbling noise that even I couldn't understand, then sighed and tried again. "I was having nightmares all night," I told him, my eyes slowly shutting. And that was partly true except that I was worrying even longer before I started having the nightmares.

"Underwear gnomes?" Clyde asked with false sympathy. I glared up at him angrily. He put his hands up and grinned at me. "Sorry, dude. Forget I said anything."

"Done," I mumbled, dropping my face into my hands. I needed to cheer up. I wasn't Anonymous to them. And how many more excuses could I muster up before they all realized that I was actually Anonymous and that I'd been lying to them for over a year now? Oh man. I needed to forget that I was ever Anonymous and get on with life. If I didn't, I was going to be in a lot of trouble.

"Tweek, you okay?" Craig asked softly. I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Aw, he's probably upset about Anonymous's absence – just like every other idiot around here," Cartman declared with a loud cackle.

I looked up at him; actually, I was trying to glare but it didn't even feel like I was. "I didn't know you worshipped Anonymous, Cartman," I snorted, standing up. I opened my mouth to imply that I'd talk to "Anonymous" about his disappearance but then snapped it shut when common sense kicked in. I dropped back into my seat.

"I don't," Cartman spat angrily. "I hate Anonymous. He's humiliated me so many times, it's not even funnah!"

"Uh…Maybe because you deserved it?" Kyle suggested rudely, smiling smugly. "Cartman, remember all those articles Anonymous wrote? Remember how you freaked out and then a few days later, you just laughed it off and continued doing what Anonymous had ridiculed you for?" Cartman opened his mouth to protest but Kyle wasn't done. "And poor Butters! You totally blew him off after that article about him liking you – even when he proved it right! You're an ass, Cartman. Anonymous was giving you what you deserve. I at least respect them for that." I felt my lips twitch, a smile forming as I tried to hold it back. Kyle respected me!

"Great speech, but you're wrong," Cartman snapped. We were all silent, waiting for him to back-up his statement somehow. A minute passed before he realized what the silence was for. He quickly became angry and flustered, only managing to scream, "You're wrong, Kahl!" Then he turned and stormed off. Kyle just rolled his eyes.

"So, you're okay then?" Craig asked me almost smugly. I nodded, deciding that it would be best if I just kept my mouth shut for awhile. He smiled but seemed unable to do much more.

The minute bell rang and we all dispersed. I was walking toward my locker when someone caught me by my shoulder, spinning me. When I was facing my captor, my eyes widened. "Uh…hi, Christophe…" Said boy sighed, shaking his head like he was frustrated. "Do you need something?" I asked in a shaky voice. He and Damien both intimidated me. I couldn't sound as strong as I wanted to. He looked at me, suddenly serious.

"Not yet. But if my assumptions are correct, you may be of some use to me yet," Christophe murmured, his eyes narrow and his heavily accented voice threatening. We stood in silence for a moment – as he hadn't released my shoulder yet. I could feel my heartbeat speed up as each second passed. Suddenly, the tardy bell rang and he let go of my shoulder with a smile. "We'll see who's right," he whispered and walked around me. I sighed loudly and all but ran to my first class, completely ignoring the fact that I'd left my text book in my locker and my teacher had clearly specified that we'd need them.

~…~

During lunch, I checked my grades. According to the computer, I wasn't doing so well. B's, C's and an F – absolutely no A's to make it look better. I sighed and closed the page. There goes my coffee privileges, I thought and stood up, grabbing my backpack from the floor. The school library was actually really small but it was also very awkward. It was the way it was shaped that really attracted students – that and the chance to get on the internet. There were several small corners that freshmen and sophomore students used when they wanted to sluff because they didn't have junior and senior friends that could drive them around. It was from one of these corners that I heard several giggles. Whoever it was obviously didn't want to get caught and that's what almost kept me away. But morbid curiosity made me go look anyway.

I cautiously wandered over to where I heard the giggling and suppressed a gasp when I saw who it was. It wasn't just one person but two. And those two people were Kyle and Stan who were in an "inappropriate" pose as they kissed passionately. I backed away quietly and hit a bookshelf. "What the…" Stan muttered. I turned and fled from the library. I knew it! I screamed in my head. I had had it right and they'd covered it up! One of my articles had actually been true and even though people somewhat believed it, they'd covered it up with lies to make it look fake – to make Anonymous look dumb. Was Kyle really dating Kenny? And what about Stan and Wendy? I finally stopped to think. What should I do? I could bring out that old article – but I hadn't kept a copy of the actual newspaper. Besides, it would look weird.

"Tweek, what are you doing?" I jumped slightly and turned to face Clyde. I sighed hugely and shrugged. "Well…Come on then. Kenny's been waiting…" I followed him back to the lunchroom silently, twitching and jerking like the freak I knew I was. What if it really is just a cover-up and Wendy and Kenny are in on it, too? I thought reasonably. Was Stan ashamed? But what would Kyle's excuse be? "Have you seen Marsh and Brovloski? They haven't shown up yet," Clyde told me, interrupting my confusing thoughts.

"No, I haven't seen them since math," I replied quietly as we walking into the chaos that was lunch. He glanced over his shoulder and then went back to concentrating on where he was going. Kenny was standing by Cartman and Butters, impatiently tapping his foot; Craig was slumped over the lunch table, looking like he was about to fall asleep; Token was tapping his fingers on the table. I wandered up, ready for a lot of yelling, just as Kyle and Stan walked in from the opposite end. Stan was pissed. I twitched hugely and hurried over to the table, desperately trying not to look like I was hiding and failing.

"Hey, Tweek," Stan greeted through gritted teeth. I literally cowered this time. It was freaky. I didn't know that he could sound so threatening.

Kenny ignored our exchange and walked over to the table. "Thanks for taking so fucking long," he snapped sarcastically, looking thoughtful. "But, whatever; let's get on with it." He pulled out several envelopes that were rubber banded together from his backpack and waved them in front of our faces. "Spring break's coming up…My mom's letting me throw a party next Friday. You're all invited." We all looked at each other uncertainly. Kenny could throw some wicked parties but, even though his mom had gotten a better job so they could afford more stuff, we were still a little wary. His house hadn't gotten any safer. "Oh yeah; did I mention that I'm taking you to Denver for three nights of hardcore partying?"

We all jumped and started screaming and cheering. When things settled down a little, Kyle looked at Kenny and asked, "Where'd you get the money to afford this?"

"Turns out, one of my uncles in California has been holding out on us. My mom turned to him for help with bills and he overloaded us with cash. On that same note, my aunt – the one married to him – works as a pilot for an airport and she pulled some strings, got us all on for free." Kenny looked extremely proud of himself. "All you need is your school ID's to prove you're identities – or license; whichever you have." He was looking at me as if he thought I'd lost one or the other. I crossed my arms and glared at him until he turned and started handing out invites. I was a little surprised when Pip got an invite, too. Kenny hated Pip…At least, I'd always thought he did. I received my invite and looked down at it, grinning.

What a perfect way to just loosen up and forget about life for awhile.

~…~

Author's Note: Ha-ha! Things are getting fun for our little Tweek. I have elaborated a bit on the original story, in case you haven't noticed. So if you have actually read "Rumors at South Park High" and are expecting about the same plot, expect something different. I have other ideas for this story.

I am thrilled that this story is getting the attention it is. Thank-you so much for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy it. I also hope it keeps you on your toes like the last one seemed to have done.

Please review.