June 17th 1993
I started seeing a patient who thinks that he's Doctor Evil from that dreadful Austin Powers movie that Dad likes so much. I blame this identity illusion on his highly irregular relationship disorder he has with his son whom he refers to as "Scott". The man has shaved his head bald and is always in a light gray outfit and he always brings a stuffed cat with him that is a hairless Egyptian Sphynx cat that he calls Mr. Bigglesworth. My patient seems quite harmless, but he keeps claiming that he is going to take over the world. He is slow in showing progress. He is so far rooted in his fantasies that I cannot try to cure him too quickly without causing great mental anguish. Of course that means I have to listen to his plans of world domination. His latest plot is to harness spiders that spin webs 17.631 times faster than any other spider known to man. He plans to release these spiders on every continent and soon the world will be cloaked in spider webs. He calls this plan… the World Wide Web.