Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Sasuke wouldn't be so broody.
Special thanks to: Smartasswolf23, Deathrosekitty, LOVESRAIN and the three guests for your reviews. It's been six years since I last wrote fanfiction and your comments really made me happy. Thanks to everyone who favorited and alerted too.
With Hearts and Wrists Intact
The best way to make it through
With hearts and wrists intact
Is to realize
Two out of three ain't bad
Twenty six.
It was the exact number of girls that Sasuke had dated (where dated equals fucked) in his entire four years in high school. Of this number, twenty six were gorgeous like Ino, twelve were cheerleaders like Ino, ten were blonde like Ino and three had told him to get lost the second he breathed the same air they did, just like Ino.
He had dated enough girls like her and needless to say Sasuke had Ino all figured out. He might as well chop his own balls off if he gave her flowers or chocolates or whatever other romantic shit. She was used to being chased and Sasuke had never been a beg-and-grovel kind of guy to begin with.
What gorgeous girls like Ino were NOT used to was being ignored. And if Sasuke wanted to get Ino's attention, then that was exactly what he needed to do. The problem was, unless he managed to get close enough to her, she would never notice that he was ignoring her. So he needed to get close and get noticed but he needed to do both without paying Ino any attention.
Which was even more complicated than it already sounded.
"Have you guys figured out problem number four?" Naruto suddenly asked, snapping Sasuke back into reality. The trio were in one of the on-campus cafes on a lazy Wednesday afternoon trying to solve their Calculus homework - well, actually, only one of them was still trying to solve the goddamned problem sets. Shikamaru figured the answers out an hour ago and Sasuke couldn't be bothered to think about anything other than the blonde bombshell who'd shot him down.
The genius shrugged and handed Naruto his work sheet.
"Of course you're done with everything." Naruto said with his trademark grin. "But hey, can you kinda explain how you got this from…"
Sasuke leaned back while the Nara lazily obliged the Uzumaki's request for an elaboration. He'd copy the answers later - right now he just wanted to enjoy his $5 iced latte and relax.
He still hadn't figured out what to do about Ino and three months of his own sanity was on the line in this bet, but he wasn't very worried. Like all the problems that occasionally sprouted in his just-a-little-less-than perfect life, he was sure that the solution would magically pop out of nowhere so he didn't need to sweat it. Early enough in Sasuke's life he'd realized that while he didn't have Shikamaru's 200+ IQ, he was pretty smart himself, and that, coupled with the fact that his last name was Uchiha and he inherited his mother's stunningly good looks, meant that he was always going to be lucky in life. He got into Shimura with a 2.35 GPA for crying out loud, getting Ino can't be much harder than that.
And as if heaven was backing him all the way up, the door chimes sounded as the answer to Sasuke's current problem entered the cafe and slipped behind the counter in three strides.
It was Ino's pink-haired friend. Apparently she worked there.
Sasuke smirked to himself before rising from his seat and casually telling his friends that he was going to buy a muffin. He walked towards the counter wearing a very bright smile.
"Hi, what would you like to -" the girl began. She dropped the obviously fake chirpy voice when she recognized him. "Oh. It's you."
"I'm flattered that you remembered." Sasuke replied, trying to sound as friendly as possible.
"Of course. It's kind of hard to forget that look on your face when Ino shot you down, you know. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a sooky koala?"
"Yes, some antisocial bitch just told me. I don't think the antisocial bitch's boss would appreciate his employees calling precious paying customers sooky koalas, would he?"
She glared at him. "What do you want?"
"Right now? A Ferrari Berlinetta would be nice. So would a weekend in a Kumo strip club. But given that those two aren't among the options, I'll settle for your name."
"What?"
"Your name." Sasuke repeated. "What's your name?"
The girl pursed her lips and hesitated for a moment. "…Sakura. Haruno Sakura."
Sasuke smiled smugly. "See, we're doing so much better already. Hello, Sakura, I'm Uchiha Sasuke. So listen, I kinda need –"
"Wait, Uchiha?"
"Yes. Moving on, I -"
"As in you're related to Uchiha Fugaku, the senator?"
"He contributed the Y chromosomes that led to the creation of the glorious specimen in front of you. Are you satisfied now? So as I was saying –"
She folded her arms across her (rather flat) chest and huffed. "Oh, so Senator Uchiha's son is here. Is that why Shimura's getting a new lecture hall next year?"
"Do you have a problem with lecture halls?" Sasuke replied coolly.
"No. But I have a problem with the fact that I busted my back in high school so I could get into this university and now I have to bust my back to afford to stay in it. And you," she glared at him even harder, "You just waltz your way into Shimura because your dad is donating a pretty new building!"
Sasuke suppressed the urge to snort. Fine, so the solution to the problem of how he would get into Shimura with his horrendous GPA wasn't really as magical as the Uchiha family's bank account, but hey, it's not his fault if he happened to be born into a ridiculously loaded family. And if his senator of a father wanted to take politics beyond the government, then Sasuke certainly didn't have a problem with that.
"Wow, Pinky, I feel so bad for you." he answered sarcastically, still smiling.
"Save it, jackass. I don't want your pity and I don't need it."
"Is your pillow talk always this charming?"
"If you're not going to buy anything, get out of my face."
"Relax, I intend to buy something, alright."
"What do you want?"
Finally, Sasuke thought. It was really getting hard to play nice. "I need you to help me get Ino."
She rolled her eyes. "Is that a joke? Where's the punch line, buddy?"
"I'm not kidding. I want Ino, and I need you to help me get her."
Sakura was quiet for a moment.
And then she burst out laughing.
"You want Ino and you want me to help you get it on with her?"
"I have a few other particular things in mind, but you get the general idea."
"Yeah, right. Like I would ever help some douchey clan brat come onto my roomate."
"Chill out, Pinky. I told you that I intend to buy something, right? Well I'm not asking you to help me as a favor. I'll pay you."
She took a cloth and began wiping the counter. "You know what, take your money and shove it up your ass. Just because you bought your way into Shimura doesn't mean you can buy your way into everything else."
"Here's a hint, sweat pea. The only people who say that money can't buy everything are the people who never had any."
"Go away, Uchiha. Jump off a cliff and make the world a better place."
"Kaching, kaching, did I hear you say 'how much'?"
"No, you heard me say 'Go fuck yourself'."
"One thousand dollars."
She stopped wiping.
"What's that, do I finally have somebody's attention?" Sasuke teased.
She almost flung the rag cloth into his face. "You're an ass."
"Fair enough, but I'm an ass with a thousand dollars and that's more than what I can say about you."
"How dare you – "
"Spare me the moral superiority, Pinky." The Uchiha didn't even let her finish. "You're cleaning counters right here, and I'll wager that it's not because you're bored and have nothing else to do. Now you can either keep whatever pride you derive from being a bitch to… how did you put it… douchey clan brats like me - which is not going to get you anywhere, by the way – or you could be a practical, reasonable, perfectly helpful girl and get a thousand bucks just for letting me hang around you and by extension, Ino."
Sakura's arms dropped sharply to her sides, her hands balling into clenched fists.
She should've given the bastard what was coming to him, should've punched at least three of those pearly white teeth out of that arrogant mouth.
But the thing was… she could really use the money.
Unlike most students at Shimura University who were born to at least affluent families if not old, influential clans like the Uchiha, Uzumaki, Nara or Yamanaka, Haruno Sakura came from a pleasantly normal middle-class background. Her family tree sprouted no politicians, military generals or multi-million dollar company CEO's – and that was fine, really, because despite the fact that the Haruno's did not roll in mountains of money, they were a happy little family who got by just fine. Kizashi was a firefighter and Mebuki was a middle school teacher, and they taught their only child the importance of having goals and working hard to achieve them, a lesson that Sakura took to heart and carried with her her entire life.
She was proud of the fact that she got into one of the most selective universities in the country through her own merit, in contrast to many of her classmates who needed the hooks of their family connections or bank accounts to get in. Her achievements even got her an academic scholarship that took care of the titanic $45,000 tuition fee, as well as the cost of in-campus housing and other school expenses. But there were still other bills that she needed to take care of, like food and school supplies and the general cost of living in Konoha, which was not by any means cheap. Sakura would never allow her parents to dip into their nest egg to dole money out to her, and it was for those bills that she decided to get this café server job.
It was also those same bills that made her stand there in silence instead of bitch slapping that asshole Sasuke.
"How much do they pay you for this job? Nine dollars an -"
"Shut up." Sakura said. Her voice sounded strained.
Sasuke stared at her expectantly, the cocky smile still plastered on his face.
The pinkette swallowed. This was Ino, her friend, that they were talking about - she couldn't – shouldn't – sell her our just like that.
But then again, they were talking about a thousand dollars.
That money would go a long way – books for the entire semester, three, maybe four months' worth of food, or maybe a new laptop when her old one gave out, which she guessed was going to happen sooner than later. How many people were paid one thousand dollars simply to play bridge between some rich (but admittedly handsome) spoiled brat and the pretty girl he wanted?
Sakura bit her lip as she felt her resolve soften. Maybe Sasuke just liked Ino. Maybe the bastard just liked her so much that he would do anything to go out with her. Maybe he just really, really liked Ino. And if that was the case, then why not? They were both good-looking people from families that swam in money – who knows, maybe some of Ino's decency would rub off Sasuke. Maybe they'd actually make a good match.
God, she hated it. She knew she was making excuses, and she hated it. This went against everything she'd stood for all her life, and she should really just turn around right at this moment and walk away…
But instead, she took one final deep breath before jumping onto the train to hell.
"You have to pay me upfront. In cash."
Sasuke smirked. "You'll be paid when I get Ino."
"Upfront." she said firmly.
He shrugged and reached for his wallet. Sakura felt ashamed as she watched him pull out five one hundred dollar bills and placed them on the counter in front of her.
"Half now, half when I get Ino."
Sasuke winked at her and walked back to his table.
Sakura looked at the money on the counter. She truly felt awful about selling Ino out like that, and for a moment even considered running after Sasuke and throwing his money back to his smug face. Even though they'd known each other for only a while, Ino had been really nice to her, and she didn't deserve this.
But still, one thousand dollars was one thousand dollars. Dignity and integrity didn't pay for books and food. But money did.
I promise I will make this up to you one day, Ino. I promise.
Glancing at her boss to make sure that he wasn't looking at her, Sakura took the money and hurriedly slipped it into her pocket.
"Took you long enough." Naruto said when Sasuke came back. "Where's your muffin?"
Sasuke looked down on his empty hands. The muffin. Right. He totally forgot.
Shikamaru glanced at the counter and saw Sakura, who had began rearranging the tray of brownies on display. He turned to look back at Sasuke with an incredulous expression.
"Please don't tell me you left to flirt with that girl."
"What? No."
"Seriously, Sasuke. She looks like she's a decent person who doesn't deserve to be dragged down to tell with you."
"Chill, Nara. She's yours if you want her. If I'm going to flirt with anyone, it's going to be with Ino. The bet is on, remember?"
Shikamaru sighed. He knew that look on Sasuke's face – that look that meant he just got something he wanted. He had no idea what could've happened between Sasuke and Ino's pink-haired friend, but whatever it was, it got Sasuke something he wanted.
The genius took a sip of his own iced coffee. All this time he never thought he had to lift a finger to win the bet, because if what happened a few days ago was any indication, it seriously looked like Ino never going to give Sasuke the time of the day. But now Sasuke was making a move, and Shikamaru suddenly wasn't so sure. The guy was smug, alright, but he was also smart.
He could only hope that Ino was smarter.
(Or maybe, just maybe… Shikamaru had to make his own move after all.)
1. To those who are asking about the pairings, I can't tell you the final ones yet but there will be a good mix of moments between Sasuke, Shikamaru, Ino and Sakura. I hope you don't get turned off by Sasuke's cockiness - he's been a royal asshole in the first two chapters, but I can tell you that he will get better as the story progresses. Although the next chapter will be more focused on Shikamaru and Ino.
2. Deathrosekitty suggested Ino meeting Itachi and crushing on him. Any other things you guys want to see? I can't guarantee that I can make it happen, but if the idea is crazy enough and still doable for me, I'll go for it.