A little backgroundabout Allison this chapter.
Merle stopped at Krispy Cream the morning of Daryl's fourth dose of chemo and picked up donuts and coffee for Allison and the other nurse Maggie. He and Daryl had both quit smoking a few days before and surprisingly they were both in a good mood. They weren't even sniping at each other like they usually did, it was a miracle. They did eat two donuts each on the way to the hospital, though.
The look of gratitude on Maggie's face was a gift to him that morning. Merle had heard that nurses drank a lot of coffee and he understood that, with the long hours they worked and lack of sleep. It was nine am, and he knew that both of these girls started work at six thirty am and didn't leave till after five every day. It made him happy to do something for them, to show gratitude for what they were doing for him and Daryl.
"Thought you girls could use a little pick me up," Merle said as he placed the box and coffee at the nurse's station.
"Oh," Maggie said with glee, "You have no idea, my youngest kept me up till three am."
"Where was Glenn?" Allison asked.
"Sleeping of course," Maggie said with a smile, "He could sleep through a bomb, four kids and that man sleeps through it all."
"Well, not all of it," Merle said with a grin, and Maggie laughed out loud.
"Thanks so much guys," Allison said with a smile.
Maggie took a sip of the coffee and said goodbye and thank you to them as she went to check on her patients on the other side of the big room they were in charge of.
Merle was observant, and he knew these girls worked hard. Allison had told them that she had finished grad school three years ago after going through an accelerated course. Both she and Maggie held a master's degree in nursing and national certifications in Critical Care. He supposed the girl hadn't had a good night's sleep in years.
In other words, she worked hard, and she was a brainiac. She was perfect.
He wanted to find out as much as he could about her, he had a mission now.
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"So how old are you, Allie," Merle asked later when Daryl was getting his dose of chemo. He had recovered after the third dose within a few days after he went for fluids and an IV dose of Compazine for nausea; he also accepted the prescription for Compazine to keep at home and something for sleep. But he didn't plan on taking the sleep medication if he could help it.
He had learned to cope very quickly with the side effects.
"25, you?"
"I'm 32, he's 23," Merle said and then leaned closer to her and fake-whispered, "I always thought he was one of those surprise babies."
Allison grinned and handed Daryl a glass of orange juice. "Drink up Ace."
"I'm right here Merle," Daryl said from his spot on the recliner as he drank the juice down without hesitation, not believing that Merle was having this conversation with her.
"Hey, ain't no thing, I was thrilled to get a baby brother, couldn't wait to take ya hunting and fishing." Then he turned to Allie, "Got any pets?"
"A cat named Luna." She replied.
"Tattoos?" Merle asked with a wink.
"Maybe," Allison said with a raise of her eyebrows and a grin, then she held up four fingers and mouthed "Four" to Merle's delight.
"You married?" Merle continued.
"Leave her alone Merle," Daryl growled.
"Just askin a question."
"I'm not." She replied, and Merle didn't see it, but Daryl did, her face darkened for a second before she composed herself and laughed.
"Boyfriend?"
"Merle!" Daryl said trying to sit up as Allie shook her head, "Zip it!"
"Girlfriend?"
"Nope, no girlfriend either." She said with a grin.
"Hmmm," Merle sighed, "He doesn't have one either."
"You're about as subtle as a brick to the face man," Daryl said sinking down in his seat and looking over at Allie who seemed unfazed by the conversation. "I picked the wrong week to quit smoking."
"You quit? That's wonderful," Allison exclaimed, "Both of you?"
"Yup," Merle said with pride.
"That's the best news you could have given me today, the best!" She said, "Alright Daryl, you're all set, want some crackers?" She said as she hung the bag of medicine and watched the drops in the chamber of the IV with her watch.
"No thanks," He answered.
"You sure? They're graham crackers." Allie said with a wink, "We don't have any chocolate or marshmallows, though."
"Maybe later, I think I'm gonna just close my eyes for a little while." He said pulling his baseball cap down over his eyes.
"Ok," She replied, "I'll be back."
Daryl closed his eyes and Merle looked up from his book as she walked to the sink and washed her hands before going back to the nurse's station and talking to Maggie. Maggie took care of the other side of the room, and they didn't have much contact with her, but she seemed nice enough. She took Merle's joke well, and he liked that in a person.
"Oh, hey Daryl you're missing it she's leaning over the desk and oh look at that…"
Daryl's eyes shot open, and his cap fell onto his chest as he struggled to sit up, Merle let out a cackling laugh, "Gotcha!"
"You're an ass," Daryl mumbled and closed his eyes again; he had been thinking about bonfires and tattoos and what it would be like to have her sitting next to him by that fire.
"I know, but that got your attention, and I'm glad to know you're still you," Merle said putting his feet up on the recliner Daryl was laying on.
"Don't feel like it sometimes." He replied.
"I know, but it's going to be better, a few more times doing this and then you can get on with your life, take that girl out on a date." Merle motioned towards Allie who was whispering to Maggie at the desk. "I bet she'd like a ride on the bike, that one has a wild streak, you mark my words."
"You got rocks in your head," Daryl said, "I'm taking a nap, stop fantasizing your crazy shit."
Merle looked over at him to make another comment, but Daryl was already asleep.
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Allie had weekends off and usually kept to herself, she liked to read and watch old movies in her spare time, things that would keep her mind off the job. Sometimes it was too much for her, and she could never let that be known while she was caring for her patients.
Some of them weren't going to make it; it was a fact of life, and a heavy burden to carry. But she always kept her nurse face on, the face that told people they were safe with her, that she would try to help them as best she could.
But she worried about them, most of them were in the fight for their lives, and that was a scary prospect for just about anyone. On weekends she relaxed, did yoga, ran, hung out with her cat and recharged so that she could give her best to those in her care.
Her mind drifted to her youngest patient Daryl, and she hoped he was doing alright this weekend. The week before it had hit him like a ton of bricks which was usually how it went. But he was going to be okay, he was young and strong and a fighter.
His cancer was not a death sentence, just a bump in the road for him; others were not so blessed.
She had given him a copy of 'Fear Nothing' by Dean Koontz the last time she had seen him, and it was a story about a man with an unusual disease, but so inspiring. She hoped he would get the inspiration that she had gotten from that book. It was important in recovery to be occupied with positive things.
Plus, his brother's support made a bigger difference than either of them ever knew, someone with strong family ties always did much better.
On Sunday she made the obligatory call to her mother because it was the right thing to do. There wasn't any love really between them, that was ruined long ago. Allie had left for college at 17 and never lived with her family again, instead choosing to take the travel position in Georgia rather than stay in New Jersey.
She had only seen them once since she moved and that was because they felt obligated to make the trip south. She would have been happier if they had just stayed home, their presence hurt her more than it helped and finally her best friend Tara had to take her to her apartment to get away from them.
She didn't need their bullshit on the worst day of her entire life.
Sometimes her brother called her or texted, and she longed for a closer relationship with him like the Dixon brothers had. Maybe one day that would happen, but she doubted it. After the phone call to her mother, she met Tara and a few girlfriends for lunch, a must after a conversation with her mother, Maria.
Then later, she and Tara spent the day shopping and talking.
Life was good to her here, and she didn't regret the move. Even though the move also brought tragedy into her life so dark that she still woke up in terror from it at night sometimes.
Later she walked down the street with her friend Tara, and they did some Christmas shopping as the sun went down on a chilly day. Tara lived in the apartment building next to hers, and they became fast friends after they saw each other jogging the same trail behind their buildings day after day.
Tara was a police officer and worked the same kind of crazy hours that Allison did. They saw each other as often as possible, though and enjoyed each other's company.
"I'm glad you came out today. I can't remember the last time we saw you." Tara said as the came to the door of a coffee shop.
"Been busy I guess." Alison shrugged.
"Everything ok," Tara asked.
"Sure," Allison replied as they walked into the coffee shop.
Tara rolled her eyes as they sat down at the closest table, Allison would say she was fine if her hair was on fire, and Tara knew she hadn't been fine in a long time.
Soon a waiter came over, and they said hello to him, they were regulars and knew him, his name was Eugene.
"Haven't seen you girls here in a while, how have you been?"
"Doing fine, Eugene," Tara replied, "And you?"
"Doing fine," He answered almost mechanically and not making eye contact, but they knew him well enough to know that was just his way.
"Good," Allie said with a smile.
"The usual?" He asked, and they both nodded, while he went to fetch their coffee Tara and Allison fell into an easy conversation.
"So, how's work going?" Allison asked.
"Not too bad, luckily," Tara answered.
"And your hot-headed partner?"
"Shane is okay, Rick set him straight on that, and he's calmed down quite a bit. He just can't stand the way people are these days, it's like common sense, and the law means nothing, and he just can't wrap his head around it."
"I get that, I really do, but at the end of the day all I care about is that he's got your back," Allison said as Eugene place their coffee and a plate of cookies in front of them. "And he keeps his itchy trigger finger in check."
"The cookies are on me, you both look hungry," He said without hesitation.
"Thanks, Eugene," Tara said, "And yes, he has my back, he's from Atlanta, and things are different there, but he's adjusting. Now, tell me about you."
"Not much to tell," She said, and Tara made a small face as she sipped her coffee, she hadn't brought this up in a long time, but she was going to today.
"It's been over two years," Tara said and watched her friend closely for a reaction, "Zack would want you to get on with your life."
"I know that," Allison muttered, and still she could see his face as he kissed her goodbye that morning and neither of them knew it would be the last time they saw each other.
"It's not your fault you had to work and couldn't go, and thank God, or maybe you wouldn't be here right now," Tara said, and it was true, the accident was horrible, Zack's car was pulverized by a Mack truck on the freeway. She and Shane had been on the scene, but she spared Allison all those details.
It was bad enough she had to bury her husband with a closed casket.
Zack, who had also been a nurse, and Allison's high school sweetheart, had been going to visit his sister and her kids for the weekend, but instead, his life ended. "Isn't there anyone you would be interested in around here," Tara asked, "He wouldn't want you to be alone forever."
"I'm not ready yet, but someday I will be," She said looking down at her hands; she had just taken her wedding ring off a few months ago, and they had only been married for five months when he died.
"I worry about you," Tara murmured.
"And I worry about you, so we're even."
"There's no one?" Tara persisted, "Alisha has a brother I could…"
"No," Allie replied, "No blind dates," She leaned forward meeting Tara's eyes, "Listen, I'll tell you a secret ok, so you'll get off my back."
"Yay," Tara said with a clap of her hands, "I love secrets."
"You can't tell anyone, cause it's unprofessional and I'm embarrassed," Allie murmured.
"Dude, I'm your best friend, it's going in the vault," Tara said as she pointed to her head, "There's no judgment here, you know that, now spill it, spill about this dirty laundry you got."
"There's this patient of mine; we have so much in common…"
"So you noticed a man?" Tara said with glee, "Oh, tell me more, is he very sick?"
"He is, but he'll recover," Allie replied.
"More, is he cute?" Tara asked, "How old is he? What's his name?"
"I can't tell you his name Tara, HIPPA," Allie said, and Tara nodded understanding, she knew the rules of confidentiality, she had similar rules at her job.
"His brother brings him in every week, on Friday; he's just a nice guy, they both are," She said, "I like him."
"Yeah, yeah, he's nice, I get it, but what does he look like?" Tara said, "I need details, this is a monumental event. I thought you'd be going to a nunnery."
"Oh come on," Allie laughed, "I'm not that bad."
"Yeah, you are," Tara smiled, "So come on detail, details."
"He has blonde hair and blue eyes, my age, well a few years younger."
"Body?" Tara inquired, with a raise of her eyebrows.
Allison turned red as the tablecloth on the table before them, "It's nice." She whispered to Tara's utter delight.
"Alright, I know it's not cool for anything to go on now, but after this guy is done with treatment you better get his number," Tara exclaimed.
"I can't do that," Allie said, "It's…"
"It's nothing, promise me you'll at least be friends with the guy, there's no rule about that," Tara said, her eyes merry and bright, "Ohhh, ohhh, even better friends with benefits, get some while you're at it."
"You aren't right," Allie laughed at the very idea that she could ever sleep with someone with no strings. Tara was joking anyway, because she lived with her long-term girlfriend, Alisha. Friends with benefits was way out of her wheelhouse too.
"And neither are you, that's why we get along so good," Tara said raising her coffee cup up to her. Allie clicked her cup against Tara's and laughed, she had no intention of doing anything Tara said, but it was nice to feel alive again. She'd felt dead inside for so long now.