Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.
Thanks to my co-authors and our mystery beta!
Secrets by Heartbroken1
Chapter Four - Internal Struggle
Bella Swan
Dressed in my favorite twill pantsuit, I walked into the office, Starbucks cup in hand.
"Good morning, Bella." Grace, my competent, and forever faithful, assistant met me with a stack of files. "So how was your Valentine's Day?" she asked.
"Good. Yours?"
"Fine." She bit on her lower lip, fighting a smile. "What did Jacob do?"
I tried to hide the grin that grabbed hold of my lips. "Why, Grace, do you have a crush on my roommate?"
Color flooded her lightly freckled face, accenting her long, very red hair. "He is the most beautiful man on God's green earth, Bella. I'll never understand why the two of your haven't… you know…" She blushed again, sitting down at her desk to flip through some paperwork. "So anyway, did he… does he… Oh, never mind, it's really none of my business."
A very big part of me was bugged by the way Grace saw Jake. Then I felt really guilty. What kind of person doesn't want him, but doesn't want anyone else to have him? A cold-hearted, selfish bitch, that's who. "That's me," I muttered under my breath.
Grace's brows crinkled questioningly. "Did you say something?" she asked, returning to her busywork.
"Um, no, huh uh. What'd you do last night?"
"I went out with Greg. He's a nice guy, I guess." It was obvious her thoughts were preoccupied as she answered. "What did you do?" She looked up and our eyes met.
"Well, Jake and I…"
Her face fell, but before I could explain that nothing happened -- well, nothing that really mattered -- the door opened and a beautiful bouquet of roses in every color strolled in. "Bella Swan," the flowers said.
Grace glanced at me before jumping into action. "I'm her assistant, I'll sign for them."
While Grace and the pimply faced kid took care of the flowers, my mind raced with the possibilities of the generous giver. My first thought was Jacob. I prayed that it wasn't him, more because of how it might effect Grace. But a bouquet of this caliber would be expensive. Jake didn't have that kind of money. And Jacob had given me his gifts last night.
In classic Grace form, she was practically bouncing off the walls as she handed me the card. "Who are they from?" Her voice had a giddy edge that made me laugh.
I slowly, dramatically, opened the envelope. The note inside was handwritten on a napkin from the club last night. The writing was elegant, and certainly came from a man's hand. It most definitely was not Jacob's, his resembled chicken scratches.
Bella,
It was so nice to meet you last night.
I haven't been able to get you off my mind.
How about lunch today?
Love,
Anthony
At the bottom was his cell number, then…
ps. Please call, even if you're just going to tell me to get a life.
"Wow!" Grace's heavy sigh matched mine. "Is he hot? He sounds hot." She fanned herself with her hands.
Our laughter bubbled up and out into the room. His chiseled jaw, his piercing green eyes, his gorgeous bass voice, and the way his body felt next to mine rushed to my memory. A smile spread to my lips and Grace giggled.
"He must be hot," she said with a laugh.
"Yes, he's very good-looking, but I don't know anything about him. And I can't do lunch today. I have that meeting with Carlisle."
"I'll reschedule it."
"No. I have responsibilities, Grace. I learned a long time ago, that my personal life has to take a backseat to the job Carlisle and Esme have trusted me with."
She nodded, showing me that she understood. "But…"
I raised a brow. "But nothing. I'll be in my office." The soft tapping of shoes against the wood floor followed me through the door.
"You might want these." Between her hands was the crystal vase full of flowers.
"Thanks."
She turned on her heel and disappeared, closing the door behind her.
I plucked the note from amongst the blooms and read it again. He had made the decision to see me again before he'd even left my sight. That knowledge warmed my heart and made me nervous at the same time. The phone tumbled in my hand and I tapped it against my lip, trying to decide what to do next. Do I really want to see him again? "Yes," I whispered to myself.
Ten numbers punched into my phone brought the calltone, Lady Antebellum began to sing…
Girl, you're beautiful
You're 'bout near perfect
But I bet somebody's already told you that
Name your poison
Name your passion
Cause a boy like me just couldn't help but ask
"Bella, I'm so glad you called." The excitement was evident, verifying his words, in his voice. "I'm guessing you got my invitation."
"Quite an exquisite invitation."
"Don't be too flattered." Warm chuckles drifted through the phone to my ear. "Roses are a lot cheaper the day after Valentine's Day."
"But it seems from the note, that you ordered them on Valentine's Day."
He laughed again. "Yes, I guess I did. My buddy's wife owns a flower shop. I wrote the note and asked a little favor, that's all."
"That's all?" My lips pulled up at the corners in amusement.
He ignored my teasing and asked, "So, lunch?"
"I can't do lunch today. I have a really important meeting. How about dinner?"
"I, um… Tonight? I can't tonight. I have a um… a thing."
His evasive answer made my stomach turn and warning bells started going off in my head. Despite my gut reaction, I wanted to see him again. "Some other time then."
"Definitely!"
My heart jumped at his enthusiasm.
The door flew open and Grace raced through, waving her arms like she was trying to take flight. Her mouth was moving with a silent conversation I couldn't understand.
"Can you hold on for a second?" I asked Anthony, then placed the call on hold and looked up at Grace. "What the hell is your deal? Are you okay?"
"Carlisle called." Her voice was breathless and she was bouncing on the balls of her feet. "He cancelled the meeting." I'm sure that the look on my face was skeptical because she continued, "Really, Bella. I promise I had nothing to do with it. Something about going with Esme to a doctor's appointment."
"Is she okay?"
"I'm sure she is." She waved me off. "Now you can go to lunch with Anthony."
"Oh…yes." I was suddenly uncharacteristically excited about a date. "It would seem that I can." My finger pressed the hold button. "Anthony?"
"Bella."
I loved the way he said my name. "It seems that my meeting has been cancelled."
"Cancelled, huh?"
"Um hum." I couldn't help but flinch at the absurdity of my voice. It resembled a love sick schoolgirl rather than a secure, career driven woman. "So, if your invitation is still…"
"Of course," he cut me off. "I was thinking somewhere downtown, close to your office. Do you have a suggestion?"
"Um, would you like to meet me at Majerle's near Chase Field, about 11:30?"
"I can't wait. I'll see you then, beautiful Bella. Bye."
"Anthony."
"Yes?"
"Thanks for the flowers."
"I'll see you in a few hours." I could hear the smile in his voice and it made me smile too.
Was it silly that as I sat here, waiting for my date, I was praying that he was as handsome and I'd remembered? I hadn't had very much to drink last night, but worried that rose-colored glasses skewed my vision?
My phone rang. The caller id showed that it was Grace. "Yes?"
"When you get a second, you need to call Jeff Fields back. There's a problem with some of the inspections for the neighborhood in Gilbert."
"Damn. Do you have his number?"
She rattled off the number and I scribbled it into my notebook. "Thanks, Grace." I finished up the call and tucked the notebook back in the leather bag next to me.
"Bella?" A deep voice, smooth as satin, spoke my name.
My head jerked up and my eyes met the same emerald ones that had haunted my dreams all night. He smiled, his entire face lighting up. "You are even more beautiful than I remembered."
Nervous energy filled my stomach.
He held out his hand and I stood to meet him. A gentle embrace and a kiss on the cheek were his response. "Thank you for meeting me."
We slid into the booth, facing each other. "Thanks again for the flowers. They're beautiful."
"You're welcome. I'm glad you liked them."
Our waitress came -- her long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail and surgically enhanced breasts that were ready to burst out of her shirt -- and took our order, flashing Anthony a flirty smile before leaving. He seemed oblivious of her attempts to get his attention as his eyes remained on my face.
The music that had been his calltone played over the speakers in the restaurant and the urge to get a little clarification struck me. "So, you certainly are a player."
"Excuse me."
"Your calltone is quite suggestive. I'm sure you're mother just loves listening to it."
He cleared his throat and whispered, "My parents passed away quite a few years ago."
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Open mouth, insert foot!
"Don't worry about it. You had no way of knowing."
Uncomfortable silence stretched on between us and I plunged back into the conversation when I couldn't stand it any longer. "Does everyone listen to that song when they call you?"
"Are you kidding?" He laughed out loud, his eyes crinkling at the sides. "Everybody else gets the ASU fight song. I picked that song special for you."
Heat rose in my cheeks. "Thanks. It's a nice song."
The flirtatious waitress returned with our order and I was relieved when she just sat the plates on the table and walked away.
Anthony poured some ketchup on his plate and dipped a fry, but paused before popping it into his mouth. "Turn about is fair play. Tell me about your family."
"You didn't tell me about your whole family," I countered. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"My family is those who are closest to me, my friends." He ate the fry then took an exaggerated swig of his drink. "Your turn? Tell me about your family."
"Mom and Dad are here in town."
"Are you close to them?"
"Yes…and no. I don't tell them everything I do but, for the most part, they're on the inside track."
"Any brothers and sisters?"
"Nope. I guess we have that in common. I do have some friends that are close enough to be family though."
"The protective ones from the club last night?" he asked already knowing the answer to the question. Jacob had left little doubt of the fact that we were close.
"Yes, those are the ones. Jake is actually my roommate."
Anthony's brows raised. "Your roommate?"
I laughed. "We share a house, not a room. He's just a friend." Friends with benefits. But that wasn't a thought I would share at this point. A big bite of my hamburger bought me some time from his interrogation.
He matched me bite for bite and when the annoying beanpole with boobs returned, Anthony ordered a dessert, making it obvious that we were going to share it. His full lips pulled into a gorgeous smile. "How did your Valentine's end up?" Guilt began to rise up as I thought of my night with Jacob. Heat moved up my cheeks and Tony laughed. "Should I be jealous that it was that good?"
"It wasn't…" I stopped the lie. It was exactly what he thought. I'd spent the night wrapped in the arms of one man while imagining it was the man sitting across from me in the here and now.
"It's okay." His warm palm covered my hand. "He's a lucky man…and I am jealous." He winked. "I'm glad that it's not serious enough to be exclusive. Or is it?" His head tipped to the side and his eyes asked the question again.
"No!" I gasped at the horror of his accusation. "No, I am not that kind of person. Infidelity is inexcusable in my book."
His eyes dropped to the table and his fingers fumbled with the napkin. He looked like a horribly guilty man which made my stomach roll.
"Dammit! Shit! You're… Are you…?"
"Yes," he whispered, glancing quickly over his shoulder to see who might be eavesdropping. "I'm married."
I tried to get my feet under me, but they wouldn't seem to listen to the messages my brain was sending. "I am no man's whore," I hissed, leaning toward him.
"Please…"
Anger was the only emotion registering as I jumped to my feet. My hand wrapped around the handles of my bag and tugged it onto my shoulder. "How dare you?" I hissed before heading toward the door.
"Sir, you have to pay…"
"Dammit," I heard him say.
Tears sprung to my eyes and the lids blinked frantically in an attempt to hold them at bay. The locks on my Volkswagen Touareg disengaged and I reached for the handle. Long elegant fingers covered mine and I could feel Anthony's body heat radiating behind me. His breath tickled my ear and he said, "Please, Bella, let me explain."
"Explain what?" Turning to face him wasn't an option since the tears had broken the dam and were flowing down my cheeks. I'm such a fool. And that pissed me off. "Explain that you want me to be something to you that I am not willing to be? I hate to break it to you, but I don't do sloppy seconds…or two-timing bastards."
"It's not like that. Please just come back inside and I promise to tell you everything, the whole truth. So help me God." He chuckled nervously, waited a few seconds, then leaned down and breathed into my ear, "Please."
I sighed, knowing I'd lost the battle long before the final plea. My body began its rotation before I'd had a chance to swipe at my damp cheeks. Our eyes met and there was an enormous amount of pain in his.
"I'm sorry. You are the last person I would want to hurt." His thumbs stroked at the tears that were still on my face.
"You don't even know me." I pushed his hand aside and put myself together -- myself.
"The moment I took you into my arms, I knew there was chemistry between us. You felt it, too, right?" He waited, and when I refused to confirm that he was right, he continued, "You're an incredibly beautiful woman, Bella."
"What if I'm dumb as a post and really bad in bed? How much chemistry are you going to feel then?"
He laughed and took a step away, giving me back my personal space. The corner of his lip lifted as did his brow. "I'm guessing that you wouldn't be the Corporate Secretary of a major builder in town if you were dumb as a post -- even if your Godfather did own the company." He paused, taking his time to allow his eyes to caress every inch of my body. "And I'm guessing by the passion in this conversation that you're a really good lover. I'd love the chance to find out."
The sound of a slap resonated through the parking lot and it wasn't until my hard started to sting that I realized it had been my actions that had made the noise. Surprised as I was, it felt good to be angry. "You.Are.Married."
He laughed as he rubbed at his jaw. "You're hot, smart, passionate…and strong. Bella, I think you're the perfect woman. Just give me some time to explain."
I glared at him, which only made his laughter grow more intense. He was absolutely right about the chemistry, no matter how badly I wanted it not to be so. The need to listen to him burned through me. I wanted him to explain it all away, to make it okay to continue the journey of getting to know him. "Fine," I snorted. "You have ten minutes." I brushed past him, knocking my shoulder into his -- not that it would hurt him.
We returned to our table and sat down. I waited for him to begin his explanation, avoiding his intoxicating eyes.
He cleared his throat and my eyes flicked up to his face. It was pained. "Bella, when I met you, I knew that if I allowed you to walk out of my life without taking a chance for something more, I would never forgive myself."
A laugh bubbled up and out. "You expect me to buy that shitload of crap?"
"Think what you wish, but I promised you the truth, and that's what I intend to give you. Always."
I rolled my eyes and scoffed on an exhale. He reached out to cover my hand, but I pulled it back. "Eight minutes," I reminded him, tapping my watch.
He rubbed at his temples, ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and sighed. "Okay, the truth…"
"Please."
"The truth is that I've been married for a long time. It just doesn't give me what I need anymore. I'm looking for something…more. If we're not having sex…"
My stomach clenched at the thought of him touching another woman intimately -- even if it was his wife.
"…We're fighting. I've spoken to an attorney about getting out, and if it means a chance with you, I'll file the papers this afternoon."
"Don't you dare get divorced for me. I'm not a home wrecker. And I don't share. I won't be someone's mistress, waiting patiently for him to grace me with his presence. I want to be a man's one and only. I want a happily ever after. Call me old fashioned, but I want the fairytale." I cringed at my breathy, pathetic revelation.
"That's what I want, too." He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "I want to come home to a wife who loves me." His eyes met mine and he smiled. "I'm not saying that you're that woman, but I'd like the opportunity to explore what I felt when you were in my arms. Please don't write me off."
"I don't know." And I didn't know. He was good-looking and, of course, said all the right things. But could I really be the other woman while waiting for his divorce to go through. "Tell me one thing…"
"Anything."
"What's your 'thing' tonight?"
"I have to work."
"Why didn't you just say that? You made it sound so mysterious -- so seedy. I don't do lies. If you can't be honest with me, Anthony…"
"Tony. My friends call me Tony."
"Are we friends?"
He smiled, although there was still worry in his eyes. "I hope so."
"Okay, Tony…" I continued my tirade, "If you can't be honest with me, then we're done before we even start."
"I'm going on a week-long international flight, and won't be reachable for a week, but I'll call you as soon as I get back in the country. Maybe we can do dinner?"
"Call me and we'll see." My phone rang and I was grateful for the distraction. "I've really got to get back to work. Thanks, Tony." I stood and so did he.
"Goodbye, beautiful Bella."
I could feel his eyes on me as I walked to my car. It took every ounce of self control I had to not turn and make eye contact as I climbed into the driver's seat. Somehow the challenge was overcome and all four tires of my Touareg were on the blacktop, headed in the direction of the office before I even looked in the rear view mirror.
Pathetic as I was, I would miss the married man who had strolled into my life, only to walk back out -- for an excruciatingly long week.
My phone rang with a text message and, at the first red stoplight, I checked it.
Bella,
Thanks for lunch.
I will think of you
every second I'm away.
Love,
Anthony
I debated on how to respond and cruised through the green lights, using the time to think. Ten minutes later, a red light gave me the opportunity to respond. I went with…
Be safe.