"How are you?" I heard a voice ask behind me.
I had seated myself in a chair next to the gurney that Barry placed Stein on. I hadn't left his side since he collapsed and that was about forty-eight hours ago. I had barely slept in this tiny cushioned office chair; the figure of the chair alone reminding me of the body of Eobard Thawne and how he sat in the same chair before he supposedly "lost feeling in his legs." It made me want to jump out of the chair, but I held my ground and constantly grabbed the professor's hand and asked him to move several times, in which he groaned, turned his head and then went unconscious again. His hand remained hot and his skin thick with sweat.
I turned to see the voice had belonged to Barry himself. He stood at the doorframe, leaning against it with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked concerned; for me or for the professor, I didn't know. Either was acceptable, though.
"I'm not the one who might explode…" I pointed out, meaning for it to be a joke, but my voice decided it wasn't.
"He won't explode." Barry shook his head, walking over and pulling up a chair beside me. "Caitlin and Cisco are going to fix him."
"I wish I could help."
"Cisco is working on a quantum splicer in his lab. And you're an expert in technology- metahuman and all. I'm sure you could help with that."
I hesitated. My need to help the professor was huge, but at the thought of Cisco, I could feel my will-power falter immensely and a large knot formed in my throat and in my chest.
Barry quickly corrected himself when he saw the look on my face, "Or not. Being here with him is helpful too. I'm sure he'd love to see you when he comes to." He sounded so desperate to correct himself. It made me wonder how ridiculous my face had looked at the sound of Cisco's name.
I turned my attention back to Stein as his head turned once more, his eyes remained close and a bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face. The knot in my chest loosened and was replaced with the painful speeding up of my frantic heart.
"I can't lose him too." My voice came out thick and strangled.
"Hey," he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. As much as he was trying to help, the weight of his hand had felt like he just dropped the troubles of the world on my shoulder and my shoulder sagged slightly at the pressure. "I told you: he's going to be okay. Trust Caitlin and Cisco."
"I do."
"Good."
"I'm still scared though." I admitted.
"So am I."
"Is it wrong? I trust them, but I'm still scared…"
He shrugged, "No. Sounds pretty human to me."
I smiled just slightly before asking, "Human or metahuman?"
He chuckled at my comment, "Both."
"Do you ever get scared when you're out fighting crime?" I could hear the buzz of electricity in the lightbulbs above us.
"All the time," he looked me in the eyes and I could've sworn- just for a second- I saw a bolt flash through his eyes. "It's the one thing that makes sure I come back alive."
"Spoken like a true hero." We both jumped at the sound of the professor's voice. His eyes were narrowed and his smile explained how much he was suffering. However, the color of his eyes were bright and shining.
Barry grinned down at him, "I have to sound one if I'm going to play the part."
"You are one… Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. We got to figure out how to decrease your fever first. But we're getting closer to that answer every minute. You've got Caitlin and Cisco figuring it out now as we speak."
"You guys are great kids…" The professor mumbled before his eyes fluttered shut once more and he fell back under.
*Few Minutes Later*
"So, he needs to fuse with someone?" I asked after Caitlin had attempted to explain what she thinks is wrong with the professor.
"Yes. Though it is more complicated than it sounds. Not just anyone will do. Their blood and cells have to match that of Stein's. I've found two matches here in Central City so far." She pulled up the picture.
Before she continued, I was using my abilities to scroll through all of their information on the internet. "Henry Hewitt is a scientist…"
"Yes! And Mr. Jefferson is a-."
"Mechanic," I quickly finished before turning the computer off, my mind racing with the power of the electricity. It was a new feeling than what I had remembered. I hadn't used my powers in forever, but today, it felt as though I had the electricity flowing through my veins like blood.
I brushed it aside, assuming it was adrenaline.
"I vote for Mr. Hewitt." I causally said. "He's obviously qualified. Very smart.
"Well, who is this Jax Jefferson?" Barry asked, gesturing to the now blank computer screen.
"I mean… I'm sure being a mechanic takes a lot of skill, but Hewitt is a scientist like Professor Stein!" I pointed out. "He sounds perfect for him."
Caitlin nodded, speaking up once more. "I agree with Leah. With Mr. Hewitt being a scientist and all, it might be nice for the professor to have an intellectual equal."
Cisco shrugged, taking a seat in one of the chairs, "Make sense to me." He popped a twizzler into his mouth and I couldn't help but wonder where he got it from. I could've sworn his hands were empty not two seconds ago.
"How about this: Caitlin and Leah, you two can go meet with Henry Hewitt, Cisco and I will go visit Jax Jefferson."
"Who's going to watch over the professor?" I accidentally squealed.
"Actually, Cisco can go with Leah." Caitlin offered. "I'll stay with the professor… Cause I am the doctor… Only makes sense…."
I exchanged a look with her. A look that meant: why must you do this to me?
She only smiled back at all of us as if she was innocent.
"Okay," Cisco said with an air of causality as he got up out of his chair, twizzler in hand.
"And why did your ex-boyfriend leave you?"
"Because he didn't understand my need for professional help."
No. Because he doesn't understand me. Period.
He's never going to understand why the idea of fusing Professor Stein with someone else makes me want to cry. It feels wrong.
Let's go find someone to replace Ronnie!
Okay!
I felt my throat tighten as we climbed into one of the STAR Lab vans and we both sat there in silence. I didn't my best- taking a few deep breaths- to stop the tears from falling, blinking a few times as they stung my eyes.
And then he spoke up, his voice quiet and filled with a sadness I thought I was only feeling.
"Feels like we're replacing Ronnie…" He mumbled as he glared down at the steering wheel.
Oh, Cisco… What did that steering wheel ever do to you?
And then the tears fell and I sobbed like a baby just born. I cried like it was the first time I've cried in weeks.
It was not.