Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.
Song for this chapter: 'Welcome to my life' Simple Plan
Author's Note: Thanks to HB1, mommyofboth and our mystery beta for looking this chapter over.
Secrets by Forks1
Chapter Five – Dante's Ultimatum
Tanya Denali
Stabbing pains shot through my head as the high pitched whirling sound of a vacuum woke me from my fitful sleep.
Damn it, Carmen! Rolling to my side, I pulled the pillow from under my head to cover my ears in hopes of drowning out the horrific noise.
"Masen! Tell her to turn that damn thing off." My screeching sent a tremendous pain ricocheting through my head. Trying to ease some of the self inflicted pain, my hands combed through my tangled hair once before my fingers found their target. Massaging my temples and putting pressure on my eyes lessened some of the throbbing ache.
"Masen?" Tossing the pillow off of my head, my fingers reached up to pull the red satin eye mask off my face. The bed was empty, the door wide open. I could see the back of Carmen, her thick elbow moving back and forth with the vacuum. The question ran through my head as I turned to look toward my nightstand, the red digital numbers on my clock read 8:45am. Are you kidding me? Anger boiled up in my head, blurring my vision. In one fluid movement, I sat up like a bolt of lightning, twisting my body as my legs swung over the edge of the bed. The quick movements brought on a wave of dizziness and nausea. Leaning forward, my head dropped into my hands. "Oh..." I moaned out loud.
What time is it?
Hangovers and getting up before ten o'clock should be illegal. Gathering the little strength left in my weak body, I stood and walked across the room to the doorway. The whirling of the vacuum felt like a battering ram inside my head, ping-ponging from one side to the other.
"Carmen?" My voice was just above a whisper. My stomach churned, my hand reached for the door frame, holding me steady as I waited for Carmen to answer. "Carmen?" Increasing the volume, I called out to her again. "CARMEN?" Was she deaf? Carmen didn't even flinch as I shouted her name.
I snapped. Rushing to the outlet the cord was plugged into, my fingers wrapped around the gray cord tightly. Yanking the cord from the wall, I waited for my deaf maid to realize the vacuum was no longer running.
Carmen flipped the switch off and on, off and on. Leaning down, she reached for the cord, picking it up. As her gaze followed the length of the cord that ended in my hand, her body jolted with shock. "Mrs. Tanya, I didn't know you were awake." The surprise and shock were evident as she shouted at me.
Dropping the cord, my hands reached up to cover my ears as the battering ram continued its painful torture in my head.
"Not so loud, please," I whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Tanya." The voiced apology matched the expression on her face as she pulled the ear buds from her ears. "I always listen to music while cleaning, it helps the time pass more quickly."
"Why in the hell are you vacuuming so damned early?" I hissed, rubbing my hands over my eyes.
"Mr. Masen asked me to get the hallway vacuumed. He said that it was looking neglected and told me to make sure I did a really good job."
Masen! What an ass!
"I'm just following his orders," she continued, "am I in trouble?" Carmen's voice shook with a nervous tone.
"Do you think vacuuming before I am awake is ever a good idea? Think about it, Carmen."
"No, ma'am, I'm sorry. Would you like me to get you your robe?"
Glancing down at my body, I realized I was completely nude.
"No, I'll get it," I snapped. As I walked into the bedroom in search of my robe, my mind wandered back to the events of last night.
Masen and rough sex.
Warmth spread through my body at the memory of Masen bending me over the bed, punishing me for disobedience. He didn't get as rough as I usually liked, but everything he had done to me was more than enough to push me over the edge of ecstasy. The last thing I could remember was Masen carrying me to the shower. Everything after that was missing from my memory, but I knew Masen preferred it when I wore negligees to bed. He must not have wanted to deal with getting me dressed and put me in bed naked.
As my arm slipped into the sleeve of my satin robe, a blur of red caught my eye. On top of Masen's pillow was a single red rose, sitting next to it was a flat blue box and a small folded piece of red paper propped up against it. Slipping my other arm into the robe, I tied the sash tightly, wandering over to the bed.
The smile tugging at the corners of my lips turned into a giant grin as I crawled to the center of the bed. I felt like a child on Christmas morning. Gifts were something that made a bad day wonderful. The long stem of the rose was thorn free and cool as my fingers gently grasped it. The soft petals of the delicate flower tickled my nose as I drew in the sweet fragrance. Setting the rose down across my lap, I reached for the note. A surprised giggle escaped my lips when the note wasn't from Masen, I read what was written:
Tanya,
I missed you last night.
This is just a token of my love for you.
Meet me for lunch tomorrow at our usual place.
Miss you,
D
Appraising the blue box sitting on Masen's pillow, I tapped the corner of the paper against my chin. Picking the box up, the excitement building in my chest made my hands shake. There was nothing that spoke to me more than fine jewelry. Cracking the lid open I peeked, gasping at what was nestled on the white satin cushion inside. Tossing the lid aside, I lifted the platinum diamond studded necklace from the box.
"They're so beautiful," I whispered while placing it back down in the box, my fingers caressing the matching stud earrings.
Dante. His name crossed my mind as a sigh escaped my lips. How can I keep doing this to the man I love? How much longer would he be willing to wait for me to finally break free from Masen? Cradling the jewelry box to my chest, my eyes closed as I wiped the tears that began to stream down my face. He deserves so much better than this, than me."Carmen." Masen's voice boomed from the hallway. "This looks much better, thank you."
Crap! Quickly setting the jewelry box back on the bed, my hand clutched the comforter, pulling it over the evidence of my lover's gifts. I used both hands to frantically wipe the remaining tears from my face while taking a deep cleansing breath.
"Masen, what are you doing here?" The beating of my heart sounded loud in my ears. Can Masen hear it from the doorway?
Rolling his eyes, Masen stalked into the room. "I live here, remember? Wait." He paused watching me intently. "What has you so jumpy, Tanya?"
Shit. Taking a deep breath while turning my body toward him, making sure to position myself between him and the contraband under the covers, I said, "Hangover." It wasn't a lie. My head still hurt like hell.
"Whatever, I need to shower so I'm not late for work." Masen moved toward the bathroom.
Work? He was supposed to have today off.
"Excuse me? Today is your day off! Five on, two off -- remember?" The tone that came out was clipped and angry. Why my feelings came out this way was a wonder to me since it didn't really bother me that he was leaving early.
Masen paused in the doorway of the bathroom, turning his head to look at me. "I just got a call from my boss. We have a staff meeting this afternoon and Matt called in sick. I said I could fill in."
"You said you could fill in? When will you be back?" Usually I would have been furious at the thought of losing one of my domination-filled nights with Masen, but with Dante's heartfelt note still fresh in my mind, I was starting to feel that I needed to makes some changes in my life. Perhaps a little more time away from Masen -- and our mind-blowing sex games -- might be just what I need to help me sort out my complicated life.
"Not for six days. It looks like I'll be flying a round trip, red eye tonight to Seattle, crash at the hotel by the airport, and then do my regular international route in the morning." He'd matter-of-factly delivered his itinerary then walked the few feet into the bathroom, and with a kick of his foot, shut the door, successfully ending our conversation.
Turning back to the bed, I quickly pulled the covers off of Dante's gift. I had to stash them until Masen left. Scanning the room, my eyes came to rest on the antique jewelry chest Masen had given me for our first anniversary. Perfect.
If Masen isn't going to be home tonight, I can see Dante today- The thought occurred to me as I walked toward the jewelry chest. I grabbed my cell from the dresser and I quickly texted Dante, 'how about lunch today?' before sliding the phone into my pocket.
My fingers wrapped around the knob, the voice behind me caused me to jump. "You got the gifts OK, Mrs. Tanya?"
Spinning around, my eyes focused on Carmen. "Yes, I did. You wouldn't happen to know how they got there, would you?"
Carmen looked down, "Mr. Dante brought them by last night while you were out. He asked me to give them to you in the morning while Mr. Masen was busy elsewhere. I didn't realize you weren't feeling well or I would have waited a little longer to vacuum, I just wanted you to wake up with this special surprise. I am really sorry."
The smile that came to my lips was genuine as my hand raised, bringing the rose up under my nose for another sniff. "No, Carmen, it was really nice of you to make sure I woke up to this."
Carmen grinned. "That Mr. Dante is one fine man, if I do say so myself."
"Carmen!" I scolded while suppressing a giggle. "He is a fine man and he's mine!"
"May I talk freely, Mrs. Tanya?" The serious look on Carmen's face caused my stomach to clench tightly.
"Sure." The hesitancy was clear in my voice.
"When will you finally realize you are meant to be with Mr. Dante? He is an honorable man who loves you. You are miserable when Mr. Masen is around, always angry and depressed. It is time you stepped out of this loveless marriage and into one full of love and passion." As soon as Carmen finished speaking, she turned and walked out of the bedroom, leaving me to my thoughts.
"It sounds like Dante did a little more than drop these off last night. Carmen's thoughts are a page taken directly out of his book," I mumbled to myself.
With the gifts safely hidden, the urge to sit down was one that couldn't be denied.
My head still hurt, my heart was heavy -- missing the man I loved and adored while my husband was right on the other side of the bathroom door. Carmen's right. I am miserable when Masen's around, unless we're having sex. With Dante, life is happy, life is good, life is enjoyable.
Interrupting my soul searching, Masen walked into the bedroom, his towel hung low on his hips. A small grin lifted the corners of my mouth as the towel covering Masen's ass slipped down, revealing the set of puckered lips tattooed on the center of his right cheek. I could only imagine why he would have ever had lips permanently inked onto his ass since he never would talk about it.
The chime of my cell phone alerted me that there was a new text message waiting for me. Crap. Nice timing.
Masen glanced back at me over his shoulder as he finished dressing, grabbed his phone and keys off the dresser and walked to the door. "See you next week." Without a glance toward me, he left the room, not even waiting for a response.
"Next week," I mumbled to myself. A large lump formed in my throat caused by the hurt of such a cold dismissal. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought that I would feel stuck between two men. Married to one I didn't love, but the sex was fantastic. In love with another, who was too afraid of hurting me to give me the type of sex I craved.
My hand cradled the phone, pulling it from my pocket. Opening the message, I read:
Today is perfect - See you soon.
A quick look at the clock had me moving. My head was still throbbing and I had just a few hours to get ready for my lunch date with Dante. Pushing myself out of the chair and heading into the bathroom, I stopped in front of my medicine cabinet. There it is. My fingers wrestled with the safety lid of the Tylenol, lining up the little arrows before pushing the lid off. Two white pills fell into my hand. I tossed the pills to the back of my mouth, and quickly swallowed them with a big gulp of water.
Pulling into a parking space at Arcadia Farms, I did a quick check of my makeup in the rear view mirror. The sparkle of the diamonds at my ears caught my attention as my fingers brushed lightly against the beautiful necklace Dante had given me. Smiling at the woman in the mirror, I took a deep breath before getting out into the bright Scottsdale sun.
My nerves were frazzled from all the soul searching I had done this morning. Even though I was about to give Dante exactly what he had been asking for these past three years, my hands felt shaky, my heart was beating too fast and the little voice in the back of my head was whispering negative thoughts in my ear. It's too late! You don't deserve him!
The cafe was crowded but spotting Dante at our usual table was easy. A shiver of excitement and longing rippled through my body as Dante's eyes focused on the jewelry around my neck before he made eye contact with me. The look of pleasure was radiating from his gorgeous face.
The treasures adorning my neck and ears were warm against my skin as the air conditioning caused goose-flesh to break out over my body, sending an involuntary shiver through me.
The familiar voice of Melissa, our normal waitress, caught my attention but didn't cause a break in the eye contact that Dante and I shared. "Tanya, it's great to see you. Come with me and I'll get you seated with Dante."
"Thanks, Mel."
The distance to my table was short, but it seemed like it took forever to get there. My pulse quickened even more when Dante stood up to greet me.
"Hello, Beautiful." Dante reached out, taking both my hands in his, pulling me close to gently kiss my lips.
"I love you!" The shaky words tumbled out of my mouth as I pulled my hands from his, quickly throwing my arms around his neck. Tears stung my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me. Guilt ripped through me as the events of last night replayed in my mind. Squeezing my eyes closed tightly, I tried to block the betraying images.
Dante's soft chuckle settled my nerves as his strong hand stroked my hair from scalp to waist in a comforting manner. "What happened, love?" he whispered in my ear.
I realized my life is a train wreck. Taking a deep cleansing breath, I held him tightly. "I've just missed you."
"That's a good thing in my book, Tanya. I missed you, too."
Loosening my grip around Dante's neck, I pulled back so that I could look into his perfect dark chocolate eyes. His warm hands framed my face while his thumbs rubbed gentle circles across my cheekbones.
"I'm starving. I hope you don't mind, but I ordered your usual already." Dante flashed a brilliant smile, melting my heart into a puddle of sweet wine.
"What have I ever done to deserve you? You always know how to turn me into mush." I giggled as my stomach growled.
"Well, for starters, you are the most loving woman I know. I am the one who should be asking what I have done to deserve someone so special in my life."
My stomach turned, my body fighting the urge to hyperventilate as guilt pressed heavily on my shoulders. The most loving woman you know? I had to fight really hard to keep my eyes from rolling in disagreement. A loving woman would do as you have begged her to do over the past three years, freeing herself from her husband so she could marry you- Not cause pain week after week by continuing to have sex with her husband! The internal war that had started with Carmen's words this morning had continued to rage out of control. Another round of stinging tears threatened in my eyes.
Dante pulled my chair out, helping me get seated like the gentleman he is, as I continued to struggle with my emotions. His hand reached for mine as he walked around the table to his chair, settling our joined hands on top of the table.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong? I have never seen you so emotional. If that son of a bitch hurt you-"
"No-" My free hand stretched out to cover his. "This has nothing to do with Masen, it has everything to do with me." My voice broke, a sob escaping my throat.
Dante paled. "Tanya, tell me what is going on. You have me worried-"
Pulling my hands free, I covered my face in shame. "I- I just can't do this anymore." My head shook from side to side as my fingers wiped the tears that had spilled over the lids.
Dante was quiet and thoughtful for a moment then finally looked into my eyes and said, "You can't do this anymore?" The irritation in Dante's voice was piercing to my soul as he fiercely whispered to me. His eyes bored into mine as he continued, "I have pleaded with you for the past three years, Tanya. Three years." He stroked my hand lovingly. "I have begged you to leave him. Knowing how much I love you and that you love me, I hoped that would be enough for you. I have tried to be 'rough' with you when we make love. But I cannot hit you, pull your hair, throw you around. That isn't making love, Tanya. It is hard core sex- no love involved." His voice cracked as emotion began to overwhelm him. "I love you too much to hurt you, even if you 'get off" on it. I have looked the other way when that asshole of a husband comes home and you scamper back to his bed for two nights. I try to pretend it's ok and that I don't care. But I do care, damn it!
"I know you're his wife, but I don't sleep those agonizing nights, knowing you are being used as his sex toy, and knowing you enjoy it." His eyes dropped to our entwined hands, no longer able to look me in the eye. "It kills me every time you go to him, every time you let him put his hands on you." He gently removed his hand from mine and looked again into my eyes. "I love you, Tanya. I want you in my life, in my home, in my bed. But I am the one who cannot do this anymore. I've been a fool long enough. I deserve something permanent, something real – and so do you. It's time you choose -- sex or love, Tanya?"
Dante stood up from the table. His eyes were red with anger and pain. He shoved his hand in his back pocket, pulled out his wallet and tossed a fifty dollar bill on the table. "You know where I live, Tanya. Let me know what you decide." He walked to my side and kissed the top of my head, then walked out of the restaurant without a backward glance. He had finally reached his limit.
And then he was gone.
My whole body felt numb. How had this all gone so terribly wrong? I was here to tell the man I love that I was finally ready to leave my husband, ready to make a life completely with him. The stunned silence hurt my ears. Dante was clearly angry with me. How could I have not seen the hurt and agony Dante suffered at my hand? How could I be so blind?
Melissa approached me from behind, gently squeezing my shoulder as she leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Tanya, would you like me to bag up your food to go?"
I shook my head 'no'. "I'm not hungry anymore. If the food is already prepared, Dante left money to cover the bill..." The need to get out of here and into the privacy of my own home was astounding.
My fingers pulled the keys from the ignition. I sat in my driveway unsure of how I made it home. My legs refused to move, my eyes focused on the house in front of me. Thoughts of going inside made my stomach turn, but knowing that Dante was not ready to see me made me realize that I had nowhere else to go at the moment.
I couldn't breathe. The interior of my car seemed to be closing in on me. My fingers fumbled for the handle as I shoved against the door. Filling my lungs with fresh air, I got out of the car. I followed the slate path around to the back of the house. The comforting sounds of the waterfall on the edge of my pool washed over me. I closed my eyes as I plopped down in the shade on my lounging chair. The tears came freely now, falling down my face.
Unaware of the time passing, I sat in my chair remembering the last twelve years of my marriage. It started out wonderful. My big dream wedding, my handsome groom -- life just seemed right at the time. As the years went by, things started to pull us apart. My first big contract with modeling brought on huge success, but took most of my time while Masen took longer and longer flight schedules with each new promotion.
By the time I met Dante, Masen was just starting his international flight schedules, taking him away from home more frequently. Dante and his charm were easy to fall for. Keeping our friendship platonic was easy for the first year, but the more Masen was away, the more I leaned on Dante's shoulder. He was my best friend, filling in the voids that Masen left behind. The more time we spent together, the more I longed to be with him.
My intent was never to fall asleep, but at some point I had. I awoke with a start, the moon big and bright was low in the sky. Crap! How long have I slept? My unplanned nap gave me renewed strength, gave me the confidence to go and clear things up with Dante.
I ran to my car, not caring what I looked like, I had to see Dante. He didn't live far from me in Paradise Valley so it only took five minutes to pull up to his house. The house was dark, just the front porch light was on.
Standing at the door, the question of knocking or just letting myself in ran through my mind. After debating for a few minutes, I pulled out my key and let myself in. "Dante?" I called out as the door closed behind me with a soft click.
Silence. The house was unusually quiet. Where could he be at ten o'clock at night? Instead of calling him on his cell, I chose to just wait for his return. I stopped in the kitchen grab a snack before heading up to the master bedroom.
Laying down on the bed with the remote, I flipped through the channels until I found reruns of Seinfeld. Jerry was always good for a laugh, but it was Kramer who kept me coming back with his quirky moves and peculiar lifestyle -- and that hair! Just his hair brought on a round of giggles.
Sometime during the second episode, sleep took over. The next thing I was aware of was strong arms pulling me close into the all too familiar warm body. Wrapping his arms in mine, I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I love you so much, Dante," I whispered sleepily.
"Shh," he responded, "I know. Go back to sleep, my love."