Chapter 2 - ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!
Piper has done all Roger wanted her to do and now the house on Devil's Backbone Road in Odd in Raleigh County in West Virginia in the United States belongs to the Halliwell's. She has made it back to Econo Lodge.
Piper - This is not good. Girls, boys, kids.
They all gather around her.
Phoebe - Well?
Piper - I'm regretting!
Phoebe - Piper, we're 2,641 miles away from home! You can't have regrets now! We need you! You got us into this mess!
Piper - I know, but I'm not sure about the city!
Phoebe - Oh god!
Prue - Just take us…
Paige - Home!
Andy - We have came so far. Lets not make this all not worth while.
Cole - Yeah. We'll be fine.
Piper - You'll be spooked.
Richard - We're all magical.
Andy - Hey! I'm not.
Richard - Sorry, we all know about magic. How about that?
Andy - Better.
Andy, Jr. - Lets just see this place and…
Patricia - Take our medicine.
Connor - Yeah.
Connie - Let's get this over with.
Collin - telepathically - We're doomed anyway.
Courtney - telepathically - Lets just finish it.
Wyatt looks at Piper, as does Melissa and Chris.
Piper - Ok, but you're not gonna like it.
They get in the cars and drive towards Odd. When they finally make it there, their faces almost fall off!
Prue - Devil's Backbone! Didn't we get enough witchcraft as witches!
Andy - Dirt roads! These cars!
Leo - The wilderness! Sure, you're trying to get the boys eaten!
Phoebe - ODD! That's just plain… odd!
Cole - In the country! What about winter!
Paige - West Virginia! The Mountain State! Hillbillies!
Richard - How many miles are we away from civilization!
Piper - Told ya!
Patricia, Andy, Jr. Collin, Courtney, Connie and Connor - Cool!
Andy, Prue, Leo, Phoebe, Cole, Paige, Richard, Andy, Jr., Patricia, Collin, Courtney, Connor, and Connie - ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!
Piper - to the kids - But… You said cool.
Patricia - But a grown up never allows us to do or have what we want.
Andy, Jr. - So to let us, you'd have to be out of your mind.
Collin - telepathically - Yeah. Parents are rulers.
Courtney - telepathically - And you gave us something we want.
Connie - I just… it was cool, parents aren't. Ya know.
Connor - The place--cool; the power stripping thing--Are you out of your mind.
Piper - Oh, I get it. No, you can't keep your powers.
Patricia, Andy, Jr., Collin, Courtney, Connor and Connie - All man!
Piper and the others laugh.
Piper - Great, we're getting along.
Prue - No, Piper, we're not getting along.
Phoebe - We're just simply--the calm before the storm.
Paige - The gentle breeze before the tornado.
Cole - The smile on the baby before the cry.
Leo - The good day before you die.
Andy - The sunshine before the rain.
Richard - The warm, sunny day before the ass deep snow.
Piper - I'm in trouble, aren't I?
Prue, Andy, Leo, Cole, Phoebe, Paige and Richard - sarcastically - Oh no, not at all.
Patricia, Andy, Jr., Collin, Courtney, Connor, and Connie - NO!
Piper - Sorry, honeys. I think I am.
Prue - sarcastically - What gave you that idea?
They get their kids and go back to Econo Lodge.
Time Lapse
Day 1 of Mission: Adjusting
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Piper awakens the next day. She raises up, stretches, and walks to the bathroom. After she showers and dresses, she realizes: she's home. Well, her new home. She grabs a hot cup of coffee, compliments of the motel. Leo walks up behind Piper, watching the sunrise.
Piper - after noticing it was Leo - It's magnificent, isn't it.
Leo - Yes, it is. I know that sunset last night was simply breathtaking.
Piper - Yeah, it was. The best part, you could actually see the stars.
Leo - Yes, it was. So what's the plan for the day, Piper?
Piper - Make sure the lights, water, telephone and satellite all come on and we have to go buy food, check the roof and after all that then we move in.
Leo - So we have a long day ahead of us?
Piper - Yes, we do.
They hear a knock on the door.
Leo - I'll get it.
He goes and it is Prue, Andy, Phoebe, Cole, Paige, Richard, Patricia, Andy, Jr., Melissa, Collin, Courtney, Connor and Connie. He lets them in.
Pure - So when do we start?
Andy - Yeah, I'll take my day off after we get everything fixed up.
Phoebe - I don't like it but I will help. If I don't like it in 6 months, then I will move. I will give it a try though.
Cole - If Phoebe, Collin, Courtney and the baby are here then so am I. And one thing is for sure, we will never have a boring day.
Piper - Yeah. Do you guys remember how to get there?
Phoebe - Yeah. You stay on one road until Grey Ford and then Devils Backbone.
Paige - And you can't miss it. It's the only big house up there.
Prue - It's the only house up there.
Andy - Ok, so lets go.
Cole - Do we check out now or later?
Piper - Later.
Richard - confused - Why?
Piper - In case something goes wrong and we need a place to stay.
Leo - What about the kids?
Piper - You're right. They'll just be in the way. Uh, how about you boys take them out to a nearby place?
Cole - How do you suppose we find a place?
Phoebe - Why don't you find a Atlas and/or Gazetteer?
Cole - Good idea. C'mon guys, lets go and get lost.
The girls laugh as the guys get in 3 cars with the kids and drive off.
Piper - Ok, C'mon.
The girls get in Piper's car and drive up to Devils Backbone. About 10 minutes, they arrive. They get out of the car and look around. They're in grass up to their ankles, overgrown trees and shrubs, a gutter has fallen off, windows are broken, the screen door is flapping back and forth and the colbert is out, which make the creek water flow down the road.
Piper - looking around - We've got a lot of work.
Phoebe - Yeah, I guess that rain last night flooded the creeks.
Paige - And these damages.
Piper - It was built in the late 1980s.
Prue - Wow, we're lucky that this is all.
Phoebe - Lucky?
Paige - Yeah, it's lucky that the weather hasn't took it a part. I bet you can't keep a house no more than 25 years here. We're not investing our money in a phony, are we Piper?
Piper - No, but I think Prue is talking about punky kids.
Prue - Yeah, four wheeling, hunting, goofing off and Halloween.
Piper - True. And Paige, I've seen homes in this state up to 225 years.
Paige - No way.
Piper - Way. People make homes to last.
Phoebe - Wait, they do it personally.
Piper - Yeah, they have generations of carpenters or just do-it-yourselfers.
Prue - Ok, so how do we repair this.
Piper - Well, we can't. We're just here to note the damages.
Phoebe - Ok, so I'll take the property damages. Prue, you take outside damages. Paige, you check the roof and note any damages. Piper, you got the keys, right?
Piper - Yeah, of course.
Phoebe - You take inside damages.
Paige - Why do I get roof damages?
Phoebe - Hello, you orb! There is no latter. Everyone understands what their doing?
Piper, Paige, and Prue - Yeah.
Phoebe - Ok, lets get to work.
They split up.
Time Lapse
Paige - The roof is fine.
Piper - Really?
Paige - Yep.
Piper - angry - Then tell me how there is a puddle of water everywhere?!
Paige - I'm no repair man, how should I know?
Phoebe - Uh, girls, there are other damages to report!
Piper and Paige - Right, carry on.
Phoebe - There is a round-bridge thingy out up there and several trees down. There is an old barn up there, it's old and ragged and falling apart. There is some old building that is locked.
Piper - Ok, I'll check it out later. Ok, my reports. Are you ready?
Prue - Go on already!
Piper - I underestimated the place. When he said four hundred and four rooms, he meant bedrooms. Five floors, attic, basement, den, offices everywhere, three kitchens, four living rooms, six lobbies, six hundred bathrooms. No more filled up bathrooms, girls. Five dinning rooms, an enormous bar. Six mini bars. A huge entertainment room, and finally an enormous closet. Not to mention nine huge chandlers.
Paige - Wow.
Piper - That's just the main floors. Upstairs is the bedrooms, four floors worth, and three elevators. I haven't been to the basement yet. The attic is huge, but we'll have to replace the floors, they squeak, bigger than that floorboard. The den is an enormous room, probably be used for the kids playrooms or a nursery.
Phoebe - All of that?
Paige - What did you pay for it?
Piper - Fifty thousand dollars. It's got so much!
Prue - How much do we owe?
Piper - Oh no, I paid it in full.
Phoebe - But he said you put a down payment.
Piper - Hey! I thought I was alone! Well, I'm not sure why he said that, but I paid in full.
Roger - walking in - I'm sorry. I'm not use to people paying houses in full. I have a crew here to work on the repairs, fix that colbert and last but not least, hand you these. - he hands her a deed, land track, and one key -
Piper - What are these?
Roger - Well, that's your deed, your land track and this little buddy is the key to your furniture.
Piper - My… my furniture.
Roger - Yes, this house comes fully furnished. It was suppose to be a ski resort, but the rock cliffs scared everyone to Winterplace. Oh, here, before I forget. - he reaches in his pocket and hands Piper yet another key - the key to your fourth elevator.
Piper - Fourth. There is only three.
Roger - That's because you haven't seen it. The fourth elevator goes a strange way. As you know, the stairwell is in the back; the fourth elevator is underneath the stairs and goes out of the house and around it, when it finishes it's lift, it arrives at the penthouses.
Piper - smiling - Uh, excuse me, penthouses.
Roger - Yeah, the 4 penthouses right beneath the attic. The stairs and the elevator goes between the halls of the penthouse. You wouldn't even know they were there if you didn't know.
Piper - Yep, it's true. I didn't know they were there, and I didn't see them or mind them. Any more surprises?
Roger - There is a blueprint in the land track and a fire escape route of known floors in each bedroom.
Piper - Thank you.
Roger - Now… we've already got people fixing the everyday repairs, but we need to talk roofs.
Piper - What about it? It leaks, it needs repairs. It'll cost a pretty penny that I don't have.
Roger - No ma'am. The damages were known. We will pay all the pretty pennies. Plus furnish more pretty pennies for every day you stay in Econo Lodge for all your family. I've already spoke with my supervisors.
Piper - Wow! Thank you.
Roger - So, what do you want: roofing, shingles or tin roofing?
Piper - Well, the manor had shingles…
Roger - Is the Manor your old home? - Piper nods her head - Ok. Um, just a friendly advisor, tin roofing would be better. It lasts longer and is very stylish.
Piper - Huh? What do you mean very stylish?
Roger - They come in colors: red, green, blue, white, gray, and clear.
Piper - Cool. I'll take the tin roofing.
Roger - Ok, I'll tell the boys. Any particular color?
Piper - Can I get back to you on that. I'll have to talk to my sisters.
Roger - Yes, ma'am. I'll be back later this evening.
Piper - Thank you.
He leaves the girls alone.
Piper - Ok, girls, you heard him. We have a decision to make. What color do you want to put on the house.
Prue - I have never heard of that?
Phoebe - I saw it on one of the pictures in the Mirror when they was a big snow storm hit and caved in a roof.
Paige - That is going to be strange. I don't think that we will hear the rain hit the top form how many floor down?
Piper - There is the main floor and the four floors that are just rooms and then we have the penthouse floor. So all together, not counting the basement; we have 6 floors and then the attic.
Prue, Phoebe, and Paige - Wow, I hate to be the one that has to clean that.
Piper - Thanks.
Prue - So, their taking care of the repairs with no charge.
Piper - According to Roger.
Phoebe - I want blue.
Piper - Thank you. Anyone disagree?
Paige raises her hand.
Paige - I say red, like the house.
Piper - Ok, Pure.
Prue - Uh, lets let them decide.
Phoebe - to Paige - They can't see the roof, no one lives here.
Paige - But it matches the siding!
Phoebe - So what? Do you want to make our hose pretty for the snow storm?
Paige - No, I hope West Virginia has a bad winter.
Piper - cutting in - Hush your mouth!
Paige - I do. They're so use to bad, snowy winters, no snow will be bad to West Virginia.
Piper - laughing - Well, if you put it that way.
Phoebe - Paige, come on!
Paige - No! It's gonna be red.
Phoebe - I'm the eldest! What I say, goes.
Paige - But your acting younger!
Phoebe - Am not!
Paige - See, your trying to get me to do that "Am to, " and "Are too" thing. Immature!
Phoebe - Prue!
Paige - Piper!
Prue and Piper - Will you two grow up! We'll get gray since you guys can't make up your mind!
Phoebe and Paige - Thank you!
The girls get back in Piper's car and drive back to Ghent.
Time Lapse
When the girls get back to Ghent, the guys and kids hadn't. So they stuck around until they got back 3 hours later.
Piper - There you are! Where have you been?
Piper picks up Chris while Leo holds onto Wyatt.
Leo - Well, we got lost. We went to Beckley, or at least we thought we were. We got to Camp Creek, and no one noticed or recognized the name so we turned around and headed back towards Ghent. We also noticed that there was no toll. There is one below here! A dollar and twenty-five cents! Then, when we made it to Beckley, we was trying to get to Lake Stevens on Route 3. We missed the turn off and decided to catch it going westbound. That is when we saw the Tamarack. So we was there the rest of the day. Then we came home, or tried. We missed it. Had to turn around at Camp Creek, yet again.
Piper - Wow, guys, I'm really sorry. Your day was suppose to be easier.
Leo - So, how was your day?
Piper - Not good, but not as bad as yours. We got over there and there was some minor damages. Roger and a few of his crew stopped by and they are taking car of the damages, free of charge.
Leo - Wow, you had a good day.
Piper - Yeah, compared to yours. What is Lake Stevens?
Leo - It's a lake on Route 3 that I saw. I wanted to check it out.
Piper - Ok, we can get supper and eat there.
Piper, holding Chris, and Leo with Wyatt walk to Prue's room. Piper knocks on the door and Prue answers.
Prue - Hey, what's up?
Piper - We're going to a local lake for supper, wanna come?
Prue - Sure, let me get my bunch.
Piper - Ok, meet me in the parking lot. At the cars.
Prue - Ok.
Piper, Leo, and the boys go towards Phoebe's room.
Piper - Why don't you go get the boys in their car seats.
Leo - All right.
Leo walks away. Piper knocks on Phoebe's door when she gets there and Phoebe answers.
Phoebe - with WJLS blaring again - Hey, what's up?
Piper - You really like that station, huh?
Phoebe - Yes. You have got to hear Danny Wright All Night. He's way cool!
Piper - Will do. Ok, back to my point. Leo, the boys, Prue, Andy, their kids and I are going to Lake Stevens on Route 3. Wanna come?
Phoebe - Sure. Parking lot?
Piper - Ok, see ya there.
She walks away. She goes to Paige's room and knocks. Paige's answers.
Piper - Hi, wanna come to Lake Stevens with us?
Paige - Who?
Piper - Everyone. Prue's, Phoebe's and my clan.
Paige - Sure, we'll come. We have to get groceries anyway.
Piper - Yeah. That's what I was thinking.
Paige - See ya in a few.
Piper nods and walks away. She stands beside Leo, who has the kids buckled in.
Piper - So the boys are settled in?
Leo - Yep.
Piper - Great. So route 3.
Leo - Yep.
Prue, Andy, their kids, Paige, Richard, their kids, Phoebe, Cole and their kids come out on the parking lot.
Piper - Ok guys, we're on the road again.
Cole - Haven't you got enough traveling time?
Piper - Honestly, yes. But we need to get groceries anyway.
Richard - But none tomorrow!
Piper - Yes, tomorrow.
They get situated and drive towards Beckley once again.
Time Lapse
They all arrive at Lake Stevens and get out except Piper. She's going on to get Daisy Queen. The rest are to find a canopy bench.
Piper - Be back A.S.A.P.
She drives out again. The kids all run out, all can't wait until they hit the water.
Phoebe - looking around - It's beautiful. You have a eye cap of the lake from this hill and everything.
Cole - Yeah, look at this scenery.
Paige - Breathtaking.
Richard - Astonishing!
Prue - Almost heaven. He's right.
Andy - I better go to watch the kids.
Prue - Yeah, it looks like the lifeguards off duty.
Resident - over hearing Prue - Uh, there hasn't been a lifeguard for two years.
Phoebe - Excuse me.
Resident - Oh. I'm sorry, it's just I over heard her and couldn't help myself. My name is Donna. Are you folks from around here?
Paige - Uh, no, we just moved to a small place called Odd from San Francisco.
Donna - Oh honey, their all small in these parts. Compared to your territory, we're ants.
Paige - Yeah, you've had some small cities.
Phoebe - Uh, where can you get groceries and clothing in these parts.
Donna - Well, there is three malls, one K-Marts and two Wal-Marts.
Prue - Wow, you have quite a few stores, huh?
Donna - Nah, Beckley's big. So the three malls are distanced. Then the two Wal-marts are in Beckley and Crab Orchard.
Phoebe - Huh, that's quite a load. Thank you, Donna.
Donna - Your welcome.
Paige - My name is Paige, these are my sisters - pointing to them - Phoebe and Prue. My other sister is out, her name is Piper. Then my boyfriend Richard, my sister, Phoebe's boyfriend Cole, my brother-in-law Leo and down on the beach is my other brother-in-law Andy. Then, my children Connor and Connie, and my sisters children Wyatt, Chris, Collin, Courtney, Andy, Jr., Patricia and finally Melissa.
Donna -Wow, big family. You'll fit in perfectly. I have 11 other siblings myself. People in these parts have big families. Yours is just extended. Goodbye, have a nice day!
She walks off.
Prue - 12 Kids. Cool!
Leo - Ut oh, it looks like Andy needs some help.
Leo and Cole run off.
Richard - Considering there's water involved, four adults would help.
Richard walks off.
Phoebe - Well, it's just us.
Prue, Phoebe and Paige hi-five.
Prue - R & R! Finally!
Piper's Whereabouts
Piper has ordered nine kids meals, seven hamburgers and one chicken. She ordered seventeen fries and she's gonna stop at the shop right beside her called "Ricks" and get some plates, cups, napkins and pop. she pulls up to the window, pays for the food and they hand it to her. The one thing she got shouldn't had was chocolate milkshakes: seventeen chocolate milkshakes. Everyone knows the Dairy Queen in Glen Daniels, WV from here knows that they have the most rich milkshakes ever. Makes everyone hyper. She receives her meal and drives over to Ricks. She leaves the engine running to keep the milkshakes from melting, but thankfully, she locks the door by leaving the ignition key in and taking the door key with her. Sorry Piper, I love my home, but my neighbors do steal; especially in Glen Daniels. She buys her cups, plates, napkins and pop and gets back in her car and drives back to the lake. Piper gets the stuff and walks over to her sisters.
Piper - Hey, I'm back. Wow beautiful place. I already love West Virginia.
Phoebe - Love is an overstatement, but I do like it.
Paige - I'm digging it.
Prue - I love it!
Piper - We'll all love it, trust me.
By The Water
Where there barely over a year, Melissa and Chris aren't allowed in the water. Melissa is under a tree with Andy. Watching the other kids play while Chris sits by an oak tree. All of a sudden, a squirrel climes down the tree. Leo is off watching Wyatt so Chris is unattended to. Chris sees the squirrel and his curiosity got the best of him. Chris, watching to see what this wonderful creature is. He crawls over to it and goes to pet it when he hears Piper's voice.
Piper - CHRIS! No, don't touch that.
Chris ignores her and pets it anyway. The squirrel went berserk, scratching Chris. Chris, not understanding, starts to cry. By this time, Piper is picking him up as Leo, carrying an unwilling Wyatt, come out of the water.
Leo - Is he ok?
Piper - Yes. He is, but that squirrel's not.
She hands Leo Chris, picks up a rock and goes after the monster who hurt her baby.
Piper - Come out, come out, wherever you are? I know you're here.
Piper spots the squirrel.
Piper - Got ya.
Paige - opening a box and calling - SQUIRREL!
The squirrel orbs out of it's hiding spot and into the box.
Phoebe - Guys, this is not an evil that's gonna hurt innocents.
Piper - Phoebe, people kill squirrels everyday. They eat them. Put them in soups and gravies. It's normal.
Phoebe - Yeah, but your talking revenge on the poor creature.
Piper - It's not poor. It's not innocent. It's a squirrel that hurt your Nephew. The same nephew who saved the world. Let's have him capitulated.
Phoebe - Ok, but I think it's wrong.
Paige - Take it easy, sis. It'll be ok.
Time Lapse
The girls gather up everything and took Chris to a local hospital: Raleigh General. About 30 minutes, they got him to see a doctor.
Doctor - Hello. Mr. Wyatt and Mrs. Halliwell. How may I help young Christopher today.
Piper - He was scratched by a squirrel.
Doctor - A squirrel. Huh I hardly get these cases anymore.
Piper - We're from out of state. We just moved here. I'm paranoid.
Leo - Yeah, but it is dangerous. Squirrels have rabies in these parts, don't they.
Doctor - Well, yeah… but it's not strange, it's just unlikely. Squirrels are skittish, except when rabid. I'll get young Christopher checked, imminently… this is unlikely, but did you capture the squirrel?
Piper - Yes, I did.
Doctor - Wow! That is very rare. While I check Christopher. Why don't you take the squirrel down to the main desk and they'll tell you how to get in touch with wildlife services.
Piper and Leo - Ok, thank you.
Piper - to Chris - Mommy will be back soon, sweetheart. I'll be right back, peanut. - they leave the doctor to do his work; to Leo - I hope he don't orb out.
Leo - Me too.
Piper - He shouldn't. He knows, better.
Leo - But he's a baby.
Piper - scared - True.
Doctor's Office
The doctor, with needle in hand, walks over to Chris.
Doctor - Let's check you out, buddy. - Chris sees the needle and freaks then he orbs away - WHAT IN THE HELL!
Outside The Door
Piper - I guess he didn't listen.
Piper heads to the room to calms the doctor down, considering she can't freeze; while Leo ran outside to the car to get an old friend.
Leo - pulling out dust - I knew this would come in handy. - he gets out of the car, locks the doors and runs inside; to Piper - Get Chris, and hold him in your arms as you were doing before you left.
Piper does.
Leo - Ok, now.
Leo dusts the doctor.
Doctor - What happened?
Piper and Leo takes a collection breath.
Piper - We don't know. You just got dizzy.
Doctor - Huh. Well, back to work. I'll take young Christopher.
Piper - to Chris - Now behave for Mommy.
Leo - Ya know, maybe Piper should stay with Chris.
Doctor - That'll be just fine.
Leo kisses Piper quickly and pets Chris' head.
Leo - Be good, champ.
Piper - He will.
Leo leaves.
Walking Towards The Waiting Room
Leo - Never fails.
Prue - What happened? Is something wrong. Phoebe took that squirrel to the main desk.
Paige - What?
Prue - I gave the squirrel to Phoebe.
Paige - Phoebe wants to set free the squirrel.
Both sisters dash outside to Phoebe, who; as Paige feared, is setting free the squirrel.
Phoebe - Run little squirrel! Run as fast as you can!
Paige - Phoebe!
Phoebe - I'm sorry. I just couldn't. He was innocent.
Paige - I can't orb it here in front of all these people. That'll make a scene, even here.
Prue - I can't believe you, Phoebe.
Leo - walking out - He's going to be fine. We'll get the results back soon.
Phoebe - See, you would have killed an innocent squirrel.
They hear car screeches.
Paige - Nope, he died anyway.
Phoebe - Maybe it was a dog.
Prue - I guess we'll never know.
Paige - mocking - Poor squirrel. I sure hope he's ok.
Phoebe - Shut up.
Leo - Let's go. It's getting dark.
Paige - Yeah, I don't want to be here in the dark.
Prue - Paige. You've been in the underworld at night. W.V. ain't no worse.
While Leo, Prue, and Phoebe enter the hospital.
Paige - How do you know? Creeps.
Phoebe - yelling back - How 'bout this: You've been in the big city at dark. That's more dangerous than West Virginia.
Piper - with a trail of kids - Ok, let's go. We got groceries to get.
Prue - Oh, no I forgot.
Piper - smiling - Beckley, or Crab Orchard?
Prue - Beckley!
Paige - Tomorrow.
Piper - Sorry, Paige.
Leo - What about a refrigerator? We need to put it somewhere.
Piper - Ok, tomorrow.
Paige - Thank god.
Phoebe - Dido.
Prue - Let's get back to the motel.
Time Lapse
They get home.