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Secrets by mommyofboth

Chapter Twelve - Confrontation

Angela Masen

"I don't know who you think you are, coming into my house, accusing my husband of cheating-"

"I am not accusing, I am stating facts!" the woman interrupted me, brushing past as she walked toward the living room. I followed her, noticing how she smirked at the shelves full of pictures before seating herself on the leather sofa, placing her handbag on her lap.

"Look," I whispered loudly, glancing over my shoulder toward the playroom as I took a calming breath, "there must be some sort of mistake. I'm not sure who you think my husband is, but I can assure you that he is not having an affair."

I shifted my weight, glaring as I spoke. I noticed my fingernails were digging into my palms, my teeth clamped tightly, straining my jaw, but I couldn't relax enough to stop. I was anxious to get this misunderstanding cleared up and get her out of my home. This woman was a lunatic, the sooner I could get her away from my children, the better.

"Oh," she sneered as she dug through her bag, "I am not suggesting that your husband is having an affair with me. I've been married to him for twelve years! I'm telling you that he's been having an affair with you."

I blinked, unable to comprehend her words. She must be talking about someone else. Edward has never been married before… he would have told me.

"I don't know who you are…"

"Tanya, but you can call me Mrs. Masen," she smirked, interrupting again.

"How dare you come here, intrude into my home, spouting lies about my family. You don't even know my husband!" I reached for my phone as she pulled a couple of snapshots out of her purse, leaning forward to force the top one into my line of sight.

It was Edward, with this Tanya woman, sitting on a beach, palm trees in the background, sun shining. I didn't notice that my hand reached for them, but suddenly the pictures were in my hand. NO! It isn't possible!

"How did you…" I trailed off, unable to form my next word. "I don't…" I sunk into the nearest chair, pulling the first photo closer to my eyes, inspecting it more closely. It really was Edward. He was smiling, carefree in his appearance, his hair messed up from the breeze, his hand on the woman's bare thigh. She wore a Fashion Week 2006 tank over her bikini. I flipped to the next- it was a picture of Edward in a tuxedo with a younger version of the woman in her wedding gown. I closed my eyes, sighing. None of this was making any sense. I couldn't accept that the woman sitting in front of me could be married to my husband.

"Listen," she said in an impatient tone, "I've been married to Masen for a long time. Oh, we're not happy- we haven't been for years- but what I don't understand is why he would lead you to believe that you were actually married to him too. I guess your family's money would answer that question… but why would he continue on with me once he got you knocked up? Maybe it was just the hard core sex with me that he wanted?"

I gasped at her implications, raising my eyes to hers… glaring. A smirk crossed her lips as she realized her comment had sunk in. Our eyes were locked together for several moments, an unspoken stare-off taking place. Finally I blinked, tuning her out as I began to look at the numerous pictures of our family on the shelves above her head.

Three years of our family, but it seemed longer- a lifetime of memories, a lifetime of love.

No, she was wrong. She concocted this whole elaborate plan for some other purpose- money, perhaps? This could not be happening. This isn't possible. I know Edward… he would never do this to me.

I was watching her lips move, her posture straight and perfectly aligned as she tossed her blond hair over her right shoulder, becoming more animated as she spoke. Her left hand absentmindedly twirled the wedding ring on her fourth finger.

She was beautiful… too beautiful, too blond, too slender, too crass, too rough around the edges… everything thing that I was not. Why would my husband go for someone like that? No, she was my polar opposite. It just couldn't be true. There must be some mistake. I had seen the pictures, but even they could have been manipulated if this woman knew how to work Photoshop. Suddenly her words became clear again, my breath catching in my chest, my heart skipping a beat.

"Has he ever forced you to kiss the tattooed lips on his ass or does he reserve that privilege for me?" The woman's smile grew as she noticed the panic in my eyes. She realized that I heard her, that she had gotten through to me… that I believed her. There was simply no denying it now.

She knew about the tattoo. SHE KNEW ABOUT THE TATTOO! My thoughts became jumbled, screaming as she continued to drone on and on about her life, about her life with my husband.

How was this possible? How could Edward do this to me? WHY? Why had he done this to us? To the boys? I trusted him! I trusted him with my love, with my life. He betrayed that trust. He betrayed me. I don't even know my husband. I choked at the realization. He's been lying our whole marriage. Our happy life is a lie!

"I can only assume," the woman continued, "that when he started to fly his "international" flights about three years ago, he was really here, pretending to be your loving husband- playing house five nights out of the week... You realize it was me, his real wife he went home to the other two nights of the week, right?"

I blinked back tears as the rage within me surfaced at her words- her true words. "Shut up! Get out of my house before I call the police!"

Tanya glanced behind me, a small smile spreading over her face. "I was curious why he stopped asking for kids about three years ago," she paused as Connor and Seth ran into the room fighting over whose turn it was to play with Thomas. "I guess they are the answer to that question."

"Mommy, mommy," Connor yelled. "It's my train! It's MINE!" I whipped my head around to look at him just as he threw the train past my chair, hitting the side of Edward's piano.

"Connor Anthony Masen!" I shrieked. "Time out NOW!" Marching him into the family room, I grabbed Seth's arm as well. I didn't want this woman anywhere near my boys.

"Mommy, honey?" Seth asked, alarmed, as he glanced at the tears in my eyes. "Conno's sorry. He's sorry, Mommy. I fix it for Conno. I fix Daddy's piano for Conno. Don't be sad, honey."

"It's fine," I sighed, promising him something out of my control. Giving him a hug, I turned to Connor sitting in the time out chair in the corner of the room. "We do not throw toys, Connor."

He looked over, tears in his eyes as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Mommy. Daddy's gonna be mad at me. You gonna be mad too, Mommy?"

I closed my eyes, my mind reeling with all the horrifying information about Edward and this woman. It was too much- too much to think about. I sighed, opening my eyes. "No, honey. I'm not going to be mad. I know you didn't mean to hit the piano. Please just don't throw toys. Someone could have been hurt." Too bad it wasn't that witch on the couch. "Now please, let's go in the playroom, don't come out of here again until I come and get you. I need to finish my meeting, okay?"

They both nodded in agreement and I closed the door behind me, trudging back into the living room. The Tanya woman was standing now, running her hands across the top of the piano. She glanced up as I reentered the room.

"I can see that Masen doesn't stray far from his favorites." She motioned to the one-hundred thousand dollar Steinway. Was she suggesting she had the same one in her home? She continued, a smug look on her face, "I never wanted kids, you know. Masen did, of course, but with the help of my doctor I came up with a solution to prevent any possibility of my conceiving. It appears he came up with a solution for himself," she said with a laugh.

"Why do you keep calling him Masen?" I snapped, frustrated she was still here- here at all, actually… telling me a truth that I didn't want to know.

"In college, when we met, he was the big man on campus. He was a jock, everyone called him "Masen," it sort of stuck and he liked it. He has never asked me to call him by his first name. No, in fact he loves to hear me scream out "Masen" when we have sex. Don't worry, that's all it's been for the last seven years- sex, no love involved. He obviously saved the loving part for you."

I cringed at her words. The thought of Edward touching another woman, kissing another woman… this woman-- I couldn't fathom it. It was quite possibly the most devastating thought I had ever entertained. My husband- my loving, kind, and caring husband, the father of my children was… married to this woman? Had sex with this woman?

My stomach lurched and I could taste the bile in my mouth as I swallowed it back. I lowered myself into the chair again, pain searing through my chest. Closing my eyes, I dropped my head, taking in deep breaths to calm myself.

Married to her, and not to me.

My breathing sped up again, bordering on hyperventilation as another sharp pain ripped through my chest.

The woman just kept talking and talking. Her words were hurting me, hurting my heart, hurting my head, yet she continued. "You want to know what pisses me off the most? It's the fact that he's been a cold son of a bitch for the last seven years. SEVEN YEARS! I had to find love and companionship with someone else; all the while feeling guilty that I was being unfaithful. I don't know what I would have done without my lover. Knowing what I do now, I am completely innocent compared to Masen's extracurricular activities..."

The woman has a lover… has been cheating for years. She didn't love my Edward. She didn't even want him.

She didn't even WANT him.

The information hit me hard, despite the fact that I felt numb. She didn't even want him. Yet here she stood, ruining my life. For what? She didn't even want him. Why was she here? Why was she telling me all this?

She didn't even want him, yet she was going on and on- touching my things, sneering at my pictures-- when I wanted her to shut up and get out of my house. I didn't want to hear any more of what she had to say.

I hate her. I hate her for ruining my life- for ruining my happiness. More pain ripped through my chest, my breath catching as I blew out through my mouth, easing the ache. No, I won't let her. She has done enough damage… she won't hurt my children. I won't let her.

A plan began to form quickly in my head… she would leave. No one would need to know that I knew. I could pretend that she was never here. What would be her price, though? Surely that is why she was here. If she knew where to find me, then she knew who I was… knew what I was worth. Unless she followed him here… that was a possibility too.

"How did you find me?" I interrupted her ramblings, no longer a polite hostess.

A look between embarrassment and regret suddenly clouded her face. She appeared as if she were struggling to decide whether to tell me the truth.

"I… well, I have a source- someone who saw you and Masen together. They knew who you were… the rest was easy."

So she did know who I was before coming here. She must want money, then. Everybody has a price. She looked like a woman who liked nice things… who might be here for the money. I watched the woman pace in front of the sofa, quiet for once.

Finally quiet. I hate her voice.

She appeared to be struggling with something… deciding something, perhaps? I was happy that she finally appeared uncomfortable. She should be uncomfortable, coming here to my house and ruining my life… ruining my world.

The pain seared through me again, forcing me back into my chair just as I was rising. How would I ever recover from this-- recover from the destruction this blond tornado left behind?

How would we survive this-- Edward and I? The kids? Can we survive this? Can I ever trust Edward again?

I wanted her gone. I came to the realization, suddenly- that I would do anything to have this woman go away… to pretend this never happened. What was the saying, again? Ignorance is bliss? Yes, I believed that now. It was. It was bliss. I was happy an hour ago. Blissfully, mind-blowingly happy. And now?

She doesn't want him anyway… but who cares whether she does or doesn't? I would do whatever it took to keep my family together. What were the Kübler-Ross stages of grief again? Hmm…. I thought as my mind wandered back to nursing school. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance… I guess I was on to the bargaining stage… I wondered when the depression would hit? The acceptance? Would there ever be a time I would accept this?

As I was about to ask her what it would take to make her go away, the woman spoke.

"How much is your marriage worth, Angela? How far are you willing to go to have me disappear out of his life for good?" she blurted out, her eyes widened, her lower lip was caught between her teeth. She almost appeared remorseful at her outburst but she stayed silent, waiting for me to speak.

So that was it then. She did want something. This would be too easy. I would give her exactly what she wanted, but I would make her wait… feel uncomfortable and squirm for a few minutes. I waited for what seemed like a lifetime, watching her fidget in her expensive looking heels.

"I have a few conditions, of course," my voice sounded braver than I felt. She nodded and took a seat back on the couch. "You can't tell him that you told me. You can never give an inkling that you know about or have spoken with me… to anyone."

She nodded and I continued, "I want the divorce papers drawn up immediately and mailed to me after he signs them. I don't care what excuses you give him, but make him sign them."

My mind was running a different direction as fast as I was speaking, wondering how much she would ask for… how much I could get out of the checking account without alerting Edward? What if she asked for more than I had in my checking? What could I get out of my trusts without my parents' or accountant's notice? The pain tore through me again and I flinched. How will I ever get through this?

"What will it take?" I finally voiced, running possible figures in my head.

"Seven-hundred and fifty thousand," the woman choked out, a blush rising to her cheeks as she blurted out the amount.

"Fine." Relief filled me and I almost laughed. I thought she would ask for millions. I guess she didn't think he was worth that. I did, however. I would have paid more… much more. Three quarters of a million wouldn't be hard to keep from Edward. This would work. I would write her a check and it would be as if she never existed.

The woman looked relieved, pulling a business card out of her handbag as she stood. She handed me the card with a forced smile. Please no small talk, I begged silently. If I have to hear her voice for much longer I will scream!

"Please send the money to that address, you can send it in increments if you need to," she glanced at me and I nodded. Standing up, another wave of pain tore through me. I lurched forward, but steadied myself on the chair. This whole thing was making me ill. I wanted her out of my house. Luckily she was ahead of me, showing herself out. She glanced at the pictures on the entry table, appearing like she might say something, then turned, quickly opening the door and stepped onto the porch.

I wasn't sure how to end this meeting, and apparently neither was she. She straightened her shoulders, raised her chin, and said, "Well, goodbye then," as she walked to her very expensive looking car.

Closing the door, I slumped against it, tears threatening to spill out of my eyes.

What just happened? The bile crept back into my mouth and this time I ran to the entryway powder room to let it escape. I vomited over and over, the tears flowing freely as I retched. I rested my head on the cool tile floor, hoping it would help the pounding.

I'm not sure how long I laid there on the floor, crying and in pain. After a short time, I got up to rinse my mouth, spitting in the blown glass sink. I glanced in the mirror, horrified at the pale skin with beads of sweat on my forehead, the red and puffy eyes that returned my gaze.

So this is what it feels like when your heart breaks? I thought, as another wave of pain ripped through my body, causing me to grip the edge of the granite counter for support.

I made my way toward the playroom, glancing through the French doors to make sure the twins were okay. They were quietly sitting on their chairs watching Finding Nemo on repeat. I smiled at their innocence. I would keep them that way… whatever it took to keep them blissfully ignorant. They didn't need to know what their father had done to our family.

With determination, I walked toward the entry, entering Edward's office. I sat at the desk, opening the large drawer to take out the checkbook, hoping to get this done and over with as quickly as possible. I ripped out the check, not wanting my writing to show on the carbon copy, and wrote out the amount that would keep my family intact- seven-hundred and fifty thousand dollars. A small price to pay, I thought, as I addressed the check, debating what I should put in the "for" line, but ending up leaving it blank. I rifled through Edward's drawer to find an express envelope, addressing it to the location on the business card, then stuffed the envelope and jotted a quick note to the woman before sealing it.

Supporting myself on the edge of Edward's desk, I picked up his phone to call for a messenger. They weren't kidding when they say you can die from a broken heart, I thought, as more pain ripped through my abdomen. Taking the envelope out to the front porch, I placed it on the table where it would wait to be picked up.

I walked back to the living room to retrieve my cell phone, the nausea returning as I moved. My head was pounding and I felt as if my body, not just my heart, was broken. No missed calls. No texts. Of course not. A horrifying thought entered my mind as I walked back to the office. Is that Tanya woman the only one? Am I the only one? Are there others?

No. I couldn't think about that now. I wouldn't. There was only so much pain I could handle in one day… before the pain was too much to bear and it killed me. As I stood at Edward's desk, sudden rage filled me again. How could he do this to me? To us?

He lied… all these years? Our whole marriage! No… we aren't even legally married! The realization hit me like a brick, just as another wave of pain jolted me. I'm not married. I'm. Not. Married! I've had two… soon to be three illegitimate children! What would my father, Reverend Weber, think of that? What did God think of the vows we made in the chapel in Vegas, and then again in a ceremony for our family and friends in the church… in my father's church?

I yanked open Edward's desk drawers, throwing papers onto the floor, searching for anything… anything that would tell me if there were others. I flipped through the rolodex… but had no idea what I was looking for… what I was hoping to find. I found nothing, but the lack of evidence brought me no comfort. I sank into the chair, resting my folded arms on the desk, placing my pounding head on my hands. I wanted to kick and scream like a two-year old. I wanted to throw something… break something… anything. I was helpless… only able to sit here and cry. I was pathetic… paying off some woman to keep my lying, cheating husband- my bigamist husband.

I reached up suddenly, grabbing the crystal vase off of the desk, twisting my body as I hurled it against the back wall. It shattered into hundreds of pieces as a searing pain tore through my abdomen. I cried out and fell to the floor, grabbing Edward's chair as I went down. It was blinding pain, I could barely think…but I knew I needed help – now! Edward. I crept to the edge of the desk, propping myself up to grab my cell phone. I noticed wetness- blood, seeping though my slacks, collecting in a puddle on the hardwood floor. I can't let my boys find me like this.

I leaned back, gasping in pain, shaking in fear, as I dialed. It rang just once before he answered.

"Angela? What's up?" he asked, "miss me already?"

"Ben," I groaned, the pain making it difficult to breathe, let alone talk, "I need you!" My head continued to spin, the warmth and nausea rising up, causing me to shiver despite the sweat I could feel on my face and neck. I dropped the phone as another wave of pain hit me. I heard him in the distance yelling my name, calling to his mom to get off the couch and grab her shoes. Everything was slow and extra loud. My ears were ringing.

I managed to grab the phone again, but he'd already hung up… hopefully on his way over. I hit the speed dial for Edward as more pain swept through my abdomen. It went straight to voice mail.

"Edward, Edward," I sobbed to the message. "I killed our baby. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I felt the phone fall out of my hand as the blackness surrounded me.