I breathe onto the tips of my fingers, trying to ward off the cold where my fingerless gloves don't cover. Making the short trip up the driveway, I slide open the latch on the gate and walk through; making sure to guide it back closed so it wouldn't slam shut.

Adjusting my bag over my shoulder, I walk the short distance to the front door and quickly open the screen door and main door to get out of the cold. I did not like cold one bit. Comes from being a summer baby, I assume. The already present sounds of my siblings grows louder still once I'm inside, and I have another tinge of sympathy for my mum for managing to put up with them twenty-four seven.

Speaking of, I bend over and grab my youngest brother into a surprise hug as he runs past me, his minecraft pickaxe held aloft.

"Gotcha! Hey there, little bro."

I kiss the top of his head as he grins and hugs me back. "A_! Are you 'taying?"

"Nah sorry, not today. Just here for my job thing."

"Oh. Ok." He doesn't seem too bothered by that, as usual. With one more kiss to his head I let him go, off to most likely bounce off the walls and drive Mum crazy.

I really should spend more time here with everyone. I just don't do well in this kind of environment for very long, with all the fighting and screaming and loud children. Can't stand it.

I step over a few scattered toys and say hello to my other brother and sisters, the latter getting ready for school. They ask me the same question of if I'm staying the night, though they're more disappointed with my answer. I feel a small stab of guilt in my chest. I promise them I will soon.

Maybe I'll actually do it this time.

A few more hugs later, I finally reach Mum where she is putting together lunches. As I bend slightly to give her a tight hug, I marvel at the fact that it seemed only yesterday that she towered over me. Funny how time works.

"Good morning. How are you?"

Mum smiles at me. "Tired. But that's nothing new. You're squeezing me a bit hard, there. Are you trying to break me?"

I chuckle and loosen it slightly. I didn't mean to do that, it had just felt right. "Sorry, just really missed you. The kids being difficult as usual, huh." There was a reason I call my siblings demon spawn. Mostly for the shit they put Mum through at times. Not that I don't love the shit out them.

"Mmhm." I let her out of the hug as she goes to move around the kitchen. "How have you been?"

I shrug and brush my hair back behind my neck from where it had fallen during the hugs. "Eeeeeh, same as usual, really. Still no one wants me, so I've just been apply to every job I can find and hoping for the best."

Oh, right. I should tell her about the deer I hunted! She'll be happy to hear about that. "I did manage to hunt a deer the other day, though. And I didn't even get that lost this time."

Mum sends me a shocked look and smacks me on the arm. "You did what?! Why would you do that?!"

"Uh..." Why was she upset? She liked th- wait, no she didn't. She absolutely hates hunting; Why did I think she would be happy to hear that? I mean, she didn't even let me go to that camp the rifle range was doing a couple of years ago because she didn't want me to be shooting living things."Sorry. Um..."

I don't know what else to say so I look away and scratch the side of my neck.

She doesn't say anything else, just sends me a look that tells me how she feels about it.

"I need you to help with the garden today, so don't be lazy and fall asleep down the room."

I laugh. "Ok, Mum."

I leave the kitchen, walking out to the garden. There was a bit of wind today, so I was feeling it in places I still wasn't used to. I had half a mind to figure out a way to make pants.

Good thing I dressed for the weather as usual, beanie, gloves, thick trackies and a hoodie. I keep walking towards the backyard, bending to pet Maggie's head as she wanders past, earning myself a meow from the dopey cat.

"Yeah, hey to you too, goofball."

I step out into the clearing, shielding my eyes from the sun as I spot Mum already at work tending to the plants. I stop suddenly, a strange sense of confusion flowing over me; but it's gone just as quickly as it arrived. I shake my head and keep walking.

Without any preamble, I join her in looking after the plants. Checking them for any signs of damage of problems and going around watering them, among other things.

Still, as I worked I couldn't get rid of that feeling of something being not quite right out of my head. I glance around the backyard, and realise I can't hear any noise from my siblings; which, was extremely unusual.

"Hey Mum, want me to go check on the kids? They've been way too quiet."

Mum looks at me in confusion, her ears flicking. "Are you feeling ok, little one? I do not know who you are talking about." Then her expression grows amused. "Is this some strange way to ask for a sibling? I would have thought you would want us all to yourself for as long as possible."

What? No! What is-

Mum turns to me from where she is hanging out the washing. "A_, can you go check on the others for me, please."

I don't-

What-

I feel something tickling my face and when I reach up to wipe it off, my hand comes away wet. I'm crying.

Why am I crying?

"A_?" "Nilas?"

I look up.

The person standing in front of me seems to fade in and out. Changing between one moment and the next.

I can see an older woman. Short, with a kindly face heavily lined from age and stress that would once have been called beautiful, and hair cut short around her ears.

I can see a tall young woman, shockingly beautiful in a way that seems almost unnatural and hair in a long thick braid that reaches her waist. Her lower half is alien. That of a horse's, spattered white and brown.

Something clicks, and all at once awareness rushes into me. I'm dreaming.

Everything starts to fade, and I panic. I rush towards the woman in front of me, my mother, but my muscles feel like lead and the air is as thick as water.

At the very end, the older woman solidifies as she just stares back. The expression, I imagine, of a woman who had to bury her son.

I lay there, face against the blankets and sore from crying in my sleep. I don't have the energy to move, or to care. A black pit has opened up inside me, swallowing everything.

A dark, sarcastic part of my mind comments that at least it was better than dreaming about dying again.

I couldn't disagree, even if it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Eventually, I lose enough apathy to get up and moving.

Helping Mum with the garden was a good way to lose myself in work and forget about my dream; even if it paralleled it enough to make the task less enjoyable than usual.

Now that she wasn't pregnant, and I had other things to do most days, she had thrown herself back into the forest with a fervour I was mildly jealous of. Today, after the general upkeep for it she, Dad I were preparing a new part of the garden so she could try and grow a new plant. When I asked her about it, I managed to piece together from her excitement rambling that she had found it growing in a magical focus area and it apparently blossomed into rare flowers that, if used right, reinforced and boosted the body's ability to fight off dangerous disease and illness for a time. Normally, it would be unable to grow anywhere outside of those magical areas, but she was hoping that her magic would make up for it.

What caught my attention was that, if not prepared right, it apparently made an extremely effective poison. That would be incredibly helpful for monster hunting. I'd have to see if I could make some if she managed to get them growing.

A sudden thought bounces back into my head at the thought of magic. I keep bloody forgetting to ask Mum about magic! I turn to look over where the centauress is currently fussing over the best placement for the new plant.

"Mum?"

"Yes, little one?" I can tell I only have half her attention. She is really into this plant. I'm surprised Dad isn't jealous.

"Could I learn magic?"

"Maybe if I put it here… I do not think so, Nilas. You have to be born with it, or evolve to get it. If you have not learned to use it by now, I do not think you will. I am sorry." She finally looks at me with a caring smile. "That does not matter, though. You will be amazing even without it."

"Oh..." I try not the let it show, but she can tell I'm upset by that. A part of me already assumed that I didn't have the ability, but it still doesn't stop the disappointment. Just… it's magic. Something I've always dreamed about having. To not even get the chance to learn is crushing.

A small part of my mind whines about how we didn't get reborn into a world where anyone can learn magic. I'm just happy to have been reborn at all.

And I'm thinking about the dream again.

Great.

Something on my face must have given away my thoughts, since Mum stops what she is doing and moves over to me. Personally, I blame my ears. Still haven't been able to control them fully.

Mum pulls me into a gentle hug, rubbing my back. "Are you ok, Nilas? You have seemed upset all day."

I try not to grimace. Of course she would notice. Damn it. I didn't want to have to deal with that right now. "Y-yeah, I am fine. Just did not sleep well."

"Another bad dream?" I nod, not looking her in the face, and she sighs. "I see. Do you want to tell me about it?"

Haha, no. Not at all.

I shake my head, not looking her in the face so I wouldn't have to see the upset expression I just knew she was making.

She's quiet for a moment, before she holds my face and makes me look at her. Her eyes are sparkling and she is grinning. "How about this. Tomorrow, you and I go out hunting together, hmm? I will show you one of the places I found when I was younger."

"And I suppose I will be left here to tend to your garden, then?" Dad speaks up from where Mum had left him standing, holding the magic flower where it sat in a small bag. His tone is amused, even as he puts on an upset face.

Mum calls back over her shoulder. "You are free to bang away at things with your hammer if you wish. It is not my fault you are a terrible hunter, stomping around like a fool."

I grin at the playful banter between the two. It was nice to have this. It was so very different to what I used to have, that sometimes it all seemed like a dream.

And like hell I wasn't going to make the most of it. I could deal with a few bad dreams if this what I woke up to after them.

Still grinning, I let myself lean against Mum as I hug her a little tighter.