A/N: This silly thing was born from me thinking about how little the monster genre is used in any significant way, and the fact that monsterguys seem rare or non-existent in most of them. This brought me to the hilarious thought of Nilas ending up in one of these places and since MGQ was the one that seemed would be the most amusing, I dropped him there. Not canon in anyway, and won't affect the main story at all.

Should probably also mention that this is set after Nilas has been an adventurer already for a few years, and so gives a little peak into a possible Nilas in the future.

"Come back! I need you!"

"Stop chasing me, you psycho!"

"But I need you inside of me!"

"Go find a fucking tree branch or something!"

"Nooooooo..."

Her cries trail off behind me as I finally put enough distance between myself and the disturbingly amorous centauress. I still do not stop running until my chest is heaving and my lungs are burning, just to be extra sure. That girl was something else.

Why was this happening?

The day had been going so well, right up until that Gods damned dungeon. Oh sure, it seemed easy enough. No guardians, no traps, just a casual jaunt to the treasure room. Easiest dungeon we had ever found. It had not even been opened before. Oh right, except for the fucking magic trap that went off in my facer, and left me feeling like my insides where being forcibly ejected through my orifices. It felt like I was one of those damn water snake toys.

I fucking hate wizards. Smarmy, sneaky little shits, the lot of them. I should stomp on them, see how they like the feeling of their insides being forced out of them.

I might be a tiny little bit upset.

When I came to, I had been lying in a forest in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. Nothing smelled familiar, and it could not have been anywhere near the dungeon, considering there was not a forest for miles from its entrance. So, having been teleported to Gods know where, and with my party nowhere to be seen, I had had no choice but to pick a direction and start walking.

That had been all fine and good, there was no such thing as a terrible forest after all, right up until I had run into Miss Desperation. I had caught a scent that had been just familiar enough for me to recognise as a centaur, and made my way straight toward it. Running into another centaur was perfect, since it meant there would be a town or village of some sort nearby and I would not have to worry about any possible bad reactions over being a monster.

Stepping out into the open, we had both caught sight of each other at the same time, and froze. Straight away, I knew something was up. This close, I realized there was something else to her scent beyond that of a centaur's. Something almost spicy, that got into my nose and sent a buzz through my whole body. It was weird and kind of disturbing, but not enough to stop the rush of comfort that came from being near another of my kind.

Her choice of clothing, or rather the almost lack of it, also caught my attention. She was wearing a really weird combination of a steel and leather bra, pauldrons and collar. It did not look at all functional, or barely even comfortable.

When I finally focused on her face, my breath caught in my throat. The young woman was shockingly beautiful. It was an almost unnatural beauty that reminded me of Mum, yet somehow even more pronounced. I had felt myself growing nervous and awkward just from meeting her gaze. I idly noticed while trying to force down the feelings, that her ears were higher up her head than they should be. A strange evolution trait, maybe?

I approached her, greeting her in Centaur; which had only drawn more blank stares. That feeling of something being wrong grew stronger. Any centaur should have been able to recognise it, so why had she not? I switched to Plainspeech, to the same effect.

Then, she had spoken up herself.

"Are...are you a man?" She had spoken in English, and I flinched backwards in shock. I hadn't heard that language for some time. What the fuck was going on?! And come on! Yes, I might have gotten most of my facial features from my mother, and yes I had long braided hair, but I was not that effeminate, damn it!

"Uh..." The words had felt odd in my mouth, and I could hear how thick my accent was. "Yes? I thought that was pretty obvious, really."

Her confused expression had deepened, but a glimmer of some kind started in her eyes. "But...you're a monster. A centaur."

I had started to wonder if maybe she had hit her head a few too many times. Or maybe she was part of some strange centaur equivalent of an Amazonian society. Hell if I knew.

"Yeeees? I am. And you are as well. Are… are you feeling well?"

Something inside her clicked, and her facial expression had changed from confused to scarily flirtatious in an instant. And I was fairly certain I could smell her... well, arousal, as well. She started towards me, undoing her top along the way. "I will be. Very, very soon."

I began to back away, something in her gaze making me nervous; and not in a good way. Ok, maybe a little bit in a good way. But, there had still been something off. "Whoa, hey now. Maybe you should calm down and we can talk this out. We do not even know each other's names."

The top dropped to her hooves. Oh boy. I forced my gaze onto her face.

"No talking. It's mating season-" What. That was not a thing. "-and I want to breed. I don't know what you are, but I do know what I'm going to do with you. Now, hold still."

I started to turn myself sideways, ready to move away. "Look. Let us just get to know each other, first. I mean, you are very attractive but this is a little-"

"We can talk once you get me pregnant!" And with that, she had pretty much thrown herself at me.

The girl had been very obviously unhinged. So, I had done the smart thing.

I had gotten the fuck out of there.

So now, here I am. Still stuck in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, likely being pursued by an insane centauress and with the overwhelming urge to ring the scrawny little neck of the next wizard I can find.

And, with an irritating sense of deja vu sitting in the back of my head.

I sigh, and once again check over my gear out of habit. Something that I would do to calm myself down, losing my self in the familiar actions. Everything had thankfully made the trip with me, and my bow was undamaged. I have no clue what kind of monsters lived in this forest, besides insane horny centauress' apparently, so I was not going to let my guard down.

Hopefully I will come across someone who is not insane, that can give me a point of reference or directions towards the nearest town. I just hope everyone else is alright.

There is something seriously wrong with this forest.

Multiple times now I have caught that spicy scent in the air, usually accompanied by a predatory scent that put me on edge. I have circled around all of them, because fuck having to deal with whatever they were.

And that feeling of deja vu has only gotten stronger.

I am in the middle of bemoaning my current situation when I catch the scent of a human up ahead. And… oh dear. That is an, uh, incredibly strong and spicy predatory scent. Maybe I should…

No, I can not just leave them without trying to help.

I can, however, approach very, very quietly and take a quick look first.

I nock an arrow, holding my bow low and loose in front of me. My current plan of action is shoot whatever might be attacking the person, grab them and run like hell. Let's hope it goes better than my average plan.

I stalk closer to the source of the scent, keeping as low and as quiet as possible. I can make out two separate voices but I'm too far away to pick out anything distinct. Still, if talking is going on it means nothing too bad can be happening.

As the source of the scent gets closer, the talking suddenly ceases and the predatory scent disappears entirely. A few moments later, a young boy calls out. "I know you are there! Come out! I don't want to fight you, but I will if I have to!"

What, how the fuck did he know I was here? I am not even in line of sight, yet! I quickly move out into the open, about to greet the boy and assure him I do not mean harm, when I catch sight of him and my jaw drops.

Holy shit, it is the fucking Straightest Shota!

I nearly drop my bow as my whole body goes slack from shock. Standing before me and wielding a sword that is so much more disturbing in real life, is the purple-haired boy hero, Luka.

"Holy shit, you are tiny." It slips out of my mouth before I even realise it. It is true, though. Sure, I was pushing a good seven and a half or so feet; but, even in my last life I would have towered over him.

My words seem to have thrown him off slightly, since that horrifying sword droops and he takes a step back. "Uh… stay back!" Well, he recovered pretty quickly, I will give him that.

Finally, my brain decides to catch up and I snap back to focus. Deal with the fact I have world-jumped again, later. For now, just find somewhere safe. "Whoa, hey. Easy there, kid. I do not want to fight. I am just happy to see a human, right now."

This seems to only make him more defensive. "I'm not going to just let you take me. Ilias' Commandments forbids sex with monsters!"

Wait, is he? He thinks I am a monstergirl! I am not that effeminate! "What? No! The hell, kid?! I do not want to sleep with you! I just want to find the nearest town! And, I am a guy!"

That seems to make him more confused. Come on, really? Stupid world with its stupid sexy monstergirls.

"But… there is no such thing as a boy monster?"

I open my mouth to argue that, and then freeze. Oh shit, he is right. In this world only girl monsters exist. Oh shit! I was the only monsterguy in existence! Who knows who will come after me if that gets out! I can think of a few who would happily cut me up and see what makes me tick!

Ok, ok. Panic later. First, get out of here before the centauress, or something else, shows up.

"No, seriously. I am a guy." I slap the leather armour covering my chest. "Look, no boobs see. And come on, I do not even look like a girl."

"Uh..." This is the part where you agree with me, Luka.

He looks away and I scowl at him.

Sighing, I close my eyes and rub my temples. When I find a way back to my world, and by the Gods I will, I am going to track down any possible relatives of that wizard and strangle them; just for being related to that asshole.

I open my eyes just in time to catch Luka standing up suddenly, looking embarrassed and even more confused. Did he just-? "...Did… did you just check to see if I was a guy?" He turns red. "You did! What the hell! You do not just go staring at people's junk like that!"

"S-sorry. But, uh, it does look like you really are a boy. Somehow. So, uh, what do you want then?"

I feel like I am forgetting something, but it can not be that important. "Well, directions to the next village or town would be perfect, really. I am Nilas, by the way."

Luka manages a nervous smile. "Uh, I'm Luka. A hero. Nice to meet you." Oh good, I was right. At least now I have a solid idea of where I am. "We are heading to Grand Noah if you would like to come with us."

Wait, we?

An overwhelming spicy, predatory scent hits me like a bat, making me stagger slightly.

I recover just in time to hear a soft, cold voice flow into my left ear. Very, very close by. "Yes, come along with us."

I slowly turn my head, coming face to face with someone I really should have remembered. Alice. An incredibly scary and powerful monster, and the current Monster Lord. The one who almost all monsters bow to. Her yellow slitted eyes are narrowed as they hold my own in place with just a gaze. I can feel sweat rolling down my forehead. "I am very curious to find out just what you are."