Chapter 1: Clashing realities

"I hate bragging but I have to admit that you look absolutely gorgeous." Chelsea said with excitement putting the last layer of make-up onto Kurt's face using brush. Her green eyes were filled with so much joy, nearly adoration that Kurt almost blushed. "So what do you think?"

Kurt looked closely at his reflection in the mirror and smiled. "I think that you're really talented, Chelsea." He said watching as the girl almost squealed. "Honestly? I can't see the difference between your work and the one from my personal make-up artist back in New York." It wasn't completely true. He could see a few things that could be perfected but overall he was happy with what she had done and he didn't want her to stop believing in herself because of him.

"I'm so happy you like it." Chelsea said sighing, obviously relieved that Kurt didn't have any criticism for her. "Now you should go and change into your outfit." Her smile faded a little as she looked over Kurt's face one more time, as if searching for aspects of her work that she could have done better. "Unfortunately, I've spent a bit too much time on your make-up than I was supposed to and I would feel horrible if something went wrong because of me."

Kurt waved his hand dismissively. "I'm sure it's alright. No one is going to blame you for anything. Trust me." He rested his hand on the girl's knee in reassurance and then stood up looking through the mirror at his tank top and form-fitting jeans. "But you're right. I should really get going if I don't want to make everybody wait for me."

"Break a leg then." Chelsea said and waved Kurt good-bye.

Kurt excited the room and started walking down the hallway admiring how quiet everything seemed to be. The theater had a decent security which meant that he didn't have to be bugged with weird questions from his fans. It wasn't like he was extremely famous or anything like that but Kurt did have a devoted fanbase. Maybe he wasn't often recognized on the streets by strangers asking him for autographs but sometimes before more important shows it could get slightly suffocating.

Now Kurt was glad for a moment to himself which meant that he was able to take some time to prepare for his performance. Kurt continued to walk but then he frowned noticing a short blonde woman sitting on one of the plastic chairs with a cell phone in her hands. Kurt wished he could just walk past her unnoticed but unfortunately almost as soon as he noticed her, the woman's head turned towards him and a spark of recognition flickered in her blue eyes.

She quickly raised from her seat and straightened out her clothes before flashing Kurt a bright smile. He almost rolled his eyes. "Kurt Hummel, I assume?" She questioned reaching out her hand towards him.

Kurt really wanted to tell her to go to hell but he was aware of the fact that it could possibly lead to very unpleasant consequences. "Um, yeah. It's me. What it is?" He said taking her hand hesitantly.

The woman shook his hand firmly still smiling brightly. "My name is Susan Miller. I am a reporter from the local newspaper. I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions before the show?"

The urge to roll his eyes grew even stronger. "I'm really sorry but I don't think I have enough time for that. I still need to get dressed."

The woman didn't look any less excited. It scared Kurt a little. "I promise it won't take longer than five minutes. Please, it's really important to me."

Kurt sighed wondering how she even had managed to get inside in the first place. He wanted to decline so badly, throw at her something sarcastic and then maybe reply all the scenes in his mind one more time. But he knew what doing all of that could mean for him. Everyone would think of Kurt as a cold-hearted diva. "Um, alright. I think I can do it."

"That's so great! I promise it won't take too long." This time Kurt did roll his eyes knowing it was never that easy. "Let's sit down." She said and gestured for Kurt too take a seat. When they were both sitting down the woman took out her cell phone and turned on the tape recorder. Then she brushed her blond hair away from her forehead and after schooling her face into an emotionless mask she started questioning him. "So how do you feel performing in Boston? Of course it's nothing nearly as prestigious as Broadway but has it reached your expectations?" Susan reached out her hand turning the cell phone towards Kurt.

"Of course. Everyone's talented, nice and professional. And this is what I came here for after all so I can't complain." Kurt replied honestly even though in his opinion nothing could ever compare to the legend that was Broadway. Maybe it was only his imagination playing tricks on him but for some reason in New York the spotlight seemed brighter and the audience more enthusiastic.

"And how do you feel being on the same stage together with your high school best friend?"

Kurt smiled slightly. "First of all, I wouldn't call Rachel my high school best friend. Yes, we were friends in high school but we are still extremely close and I love her more than anything." Kurt paused for a moment but when the woman just nodded at him to continue he kept speaking. "Rachel…well, she's not an easy person to live with, and trust me, she's the biggest nightmare to compete with but right now I'm just happy to have a familiar face around."

"I see." Susan said flatly. She seemed a little disappointed as if expecting to hear something else but the professional smile was soon back in its place as she asked her next question. "Are you happy to have the role of Marius or were you hoping to portray Jean Valjean?"

"Well, it would be an honor to be Jean Valjean but obviously I am still way too young for that. Maybe in twenty years." He chuckled causing Susan to also laugh politely at that. "Honestly I'm just extremely grateful to have any role at all." He said hoping that the woman's questions would end with that one.

No such luck.

The woman crossed one leg over another and glanced briefly at the notes spread on the chair beside her. "My next question will be not work concerned. I hope you don't mind me asking but everyone has been dying to know whether or not Kurt Hummel, the rising star, is taken?" Her smiled got sleazy and Kurt knew that this was the question she had wanted to ask him all along.

His cheeks went red and Kurt looked away despite his will. "Well, not really."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't have a boyfriend at the moment." Kurt said. "If that's what you're asking about."

The woman smirked and opened her mouth, obviously to ask another question concerning his nonexistent love life but luckily Kurt was saved by the sounds of heavy and frantic steps approaching them. "What the hell are you doing here, Kurt?" The man heard an unmistakable voice of the show director/producer. When the older man came into view he scanned the room with his dark eyes and frowned when his gaze landed on Susan. "How did you get here? Ugh, whatever. Don't bother telling me. We don't have time for your shit. The security will take care of you." Then he turned to Kurt. "And you, get your ass into the dressing room if you still want to get your paycheck."

Kurt stood up from the chair, relieved that he didn't have to talk to Susan anymore and answer her question but also mad at Mark for treating him like that in front of her, while she was recording everything. "Please, don't take out your anger on me. Hire a psychologist for that. And well, I would love to see you try to make this work without me."

Mark sent him a death glare and opened his mouth as to argue with him but then his gaze landed on the cell phone in Susan's hands. Obviously noticing that his harsh words could be used against him Mark snatched the device from the woman's hands in one swift move. "The security will give it back to you once they delete everything." Susan looked like she wanted to murder Mark with her eyes but she obviously wasn't knew to this and knew better than to lash out at him which would surely result in her being dragged out of the building by the security men. "Kurt, come on. Everyone's waiting." He said looking at the young man.

He started walking down the hallway and Kurt quickly followed him not even casting a look at Susan to check her reaction. "Please, remember that your understudy has a hell of a voice and he would gladly accept a chance to make himself noticeable."

"But the public wants me, not him." Kurt pointed out knowing that Mark knew that too and wouldn't dare to replace him.

"Still, I thought you were better than that." He said, his voice full of judgment as he just kept walking ahead without even glancing at the performer. "Why would you even talk to someone like her? You know they will use every word against you."

Kurt smirked. "Any publicity is good publicity." He grinned but Mark still looked dead serious.

"Oh, whatever." He said and opened the door to the dressing room for Kurt. "Now go change and don't make me regret picking you." Mark almost pushed Kurt inside and closed the room leaving him alone with a dozen of women to help him perfect his appearance.

There was something about pouring emotions into a song in front of a crowd of people that would always send chills down Kurt's pine. It felt like something was crawling under his skin and searching for a way out and when it was free the whole world was set on fire and Kurt felt like he could breath freely. When he wasn't performing something seemed to always be clogging up his throat, attaching him to the ground and making the colors less bright.

When he was up on the stage, doing what he loved the most everything was like it was supposed to be. No drama, no competing with other wannabes. Just existing and enjoying every second of it.

Despite all that after the show Kurt felt extremely exhausted. He was sweaty and his breathing was sped up. "God, it was so amazing." Rachel exclaimed happily when they were walking towards the changing rooms. There were sparks of excitement and pure joy in her eyes and she looked like the happiest person alive even though portraying Eponine made her look like a walking dead. "But I still wish I could sleep through next week." They both chuckled despite knowing that the next eight days ahead of them would be extremely challenging.

"You and me both." Kurt said smiling at his best friend, happy that they could share this moment together. "But it'll eventually pay off."

"Well, of course it will." Rachel said, confident as ever. "I expect all the lead roles from now on. Don't you?"

"Now that my outstanding talent has been noticed how could I expect anything else?" Kurt said, only half-joking. He really hoped that this would become his breaking point. After Boston they had two weeks to themselves and then they would head to perform in New York, and after that they would grace three other cities with their surely wonderful performances. It would be exhausting but Kurt was convinced that they were strong enough to charm people all around the east coast.

After they had changed into their regular clothes and met with the most devoted fans their crewmates asked them if they wanted to join them in their hunt for the best night clubs in Boston. "Oh, come on, guys." Frank, a tall, handsome college student portraying Enjolras said when Kurt told him that he was a little tired and would prefer to just go to sleep to be well-rested for tomorrow. "Don't be like that. Don't you want to see the city?" He asked.

"Of course, I do." Kurt said. "But we have the whole week for that. Or three, if you're going to stay here when the show ends."

Frank rolled his eyes and but his face quickly lit up when Rachel emerged from the bathroom. "Talk some sense into him, Rach! I'm begging you. He wants to spend the whole night sleeping. Wouldn't it be more fun to hit the clubs?"

Kurt looked at Rachel pleadingly but to his horror a bright smile appeared on her face and she started nodding her head in excitement. Sometimes he wanted to kill her for making his life ten times more complicated than it needed to be. "That sounds like a great idea." She said. "But maybe instead of going to a night club and get wasted we could go to a karaoke bar to stretch out our vocal before tomorrow."

"God, no." Maddie, a blond girl with dreamy blue eyes and perfect pink lips said from her seat on a sofa. "I've just come today to a realization that I really fucking hate singing."

Kurt smirked. "You're not the only one." He said joking.

"Oh come on, guys! Don't you want to show all of these talentless people how awesome we are? And after that, when everyone's begging us for autographs and pictures we could invite them all to our show! Imagine how happy Mark would be!"

"Please tell me she's not serious." Maddie said rolling her eyes.

"Rachel, listen to me." Kurt said placing his hands on the girl's shoulders. "We are not going to sing anything else tonight. We are all sick of it and you will have enough time to shine on the stage during the next few weeks."

"Ugh, fine." She said at last. "Maybe it's not so stupid after all. We could get sore throats and nobody wants that."

"Exactly." Mark said clapping his hands together. "So it's settled. We're going to find a club and drink some alcohol."

"I really don't think it's a good idea." Kurt said, gaining an eye roll from both Maddie and Mark "But I guess it wouldn't be so bad either to loosen up a bit."

"Great." Maddie said raising from her seat and running towards the little group. "Then let's go before anyone changes their mind." Even despite long hours spent on singing on stage she still looked extremely gorgeous. "But first let's grab something to eat. I'm starving."

They all agreed and soon they left the hotel. They rest of the crew stayed in wanting to relax before the next day of hard work. Kurt wanted to stay too but he knew how sometimes Rachel would drink a little too much and what it could lead to so he wanted to be there with her and make sure that nothing went wrong.

They went to a small Italian restaurant. It wasn't anything too fancy but it looked really cozy and Kurt really liked the décor. Also he was a sucker for Italian cuisine no matter what impact it had on his hips. They sat at the table and started reading their menus. Kurt kept looking around and marveling and how beautiful and well-thought everything seemed to be. He just hoped the food was at least half as good as the decorations.

When Kurt looked up though he thought he saw something in the corner of his eye. Something very familiar that he hadn't seen in a very long time. He looked around trying to spot it again but whatever that was, it was gone. It had to be his imagination playing tricks on him, right? He was just extremely tired and going out was really a very bad idea.

But no.

"Hi, my name is Blaine Anderson and I will be your waiter tonight."

The sunlight peeking from behind the curtains was bothering Blaine but despite that he just buried his face deeper into the pillow trying to continue sleeping. Unfortunately after what seemed like only a few seconds Blaine's alarm went off and he was forced to get up anyway.

He rolled out of his bed and reluctantly walked into the bathroom to take a shower. Once that was out of the way Blaine went to the cramped kitchen and made himself some coffee. He glanced briefly at the dishes stuck in the sink thinking that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to wash them. But he didn't really care about it. His apartment didn't have to look good for anybody. Blaine didn't have many guests. And even if he did they didn't really care about it either.

With a mug of streaming coffee in his hand Blaine walked over to the window and looked outside at all the busy streets. More often than not looking through the window was Blaine's only form of entertainment. Nothing else held his attention for long. He let his fingers trace over at windowsill as his examined them closely for even the slightest tremble. He sighed in relief realizing that everything seemed to be fine.

Blaine finished drinking his coffee, put the empty mug into the already full sink and walked back into his bedroom. There he opened up his closet and took out a t-shit and a pair of jeans. Gone were the days when Blaine would spend sometimes even hours matching clothes together. Now it was just another thing that didn't matter to him. Another thing that always reminded him of who he used to be.

It was sad but he didn't even miss the bright colors and complicated patterns. It just reminded him that once upon a time he had dreams for something greater than just getting by and living each day the same way. Blaine put the clothes on, threw a thin jacket over his shoulders and left the apartment.

He walked to the nearest grocery shop and bought some products that could be easily morphed into a meal. His neighborhood wasn't the nicest in the city so every now and then Blaine would spot a plastic bag or an empty bottle lying around and the old Blaine would surely ran around the streets with a huge waste bin and a grin attached to his face while picking up the garbage.

But the old Blaine was dead and there were only few feeble remains hidden at the bottom of his heart. With a plastic bag in his hand Blaine walked two blocks south not even once locking his eyes with another person. Maybe somewhere in the city centre people were nice to each other but here all everyone could think about was getting by and surviving while still feeling like a human.

Blaine approached an old dilapidated block of flats, buzzed himself in and walked up many flights of stairs. Then after what felt like a few miles of walking Blaine finally found himself in front of the door number 24. He knocked a few times against the wood but unsurprisingly no one came to open the door. So instead of waiting Blaine fished the key out of his pocket and let himself in.

The apartment was very similar to his own but it did look a little better since Blaine always made sure that everything was cleaned properly. He walked into the kitchen and put the groceries up on the table. He saddened when he noticed empty plastic wrappers lying all around the room. He didn't have time to clean everything like always though so he went to the bedroom to check on his friend. Knowing that the girl was most likely still sleeping Blaine carefully pushed the door open and looked inside.

Surely the girl was sleeping soundly with her face turned towards the window which let the sun illuminate the soft features. She still had make-up on her face and Blaine noticed black marks all the way down her cheeks which made him believe that the girl had been crying.

Blaine went through other rooms and picked up burnt out cigarettes and empty beer bottles putting everything into a plastic bag and trying to move as quietly as he could in hopes of not waking up the girl. When he was done with that Blaine left the apartment with the bag of trash wishing that he could do something more to help her.

A cold shiver ran down Blaine's spine when he realized that now ahead of him was the most difficult thing that he would have to do that day. Well, technically Blaine didn't have to do that but each time he wanted to just stay home and do nothing, something inside of him would protest and make his whole soul ache even more than usual.

So he threw the garbage away and started walking down the dirty sidewalk towards the nearest subway station. Blaine took the train and after twenty minutes he found himself in front of an impressive, massive building that would always send chills down his spine. He walked inside and winded through the labyrinth of corridors passing friendly nurses and strict doctors. Some of them recognized his face and smiled or waved but most of the hospital staff didn't even bother to cast a look at the twenty-three year old.

When Blaine reached his destination he came to a halt and just like he always did started wondering if maybe he should turn around and leave not risking losing his sanity. But he wouldn't do that so at last he pushed the heavy door open knowing that no one would mind him and entered a small private room. The man was lying in the bed with the duvet covering most of his body and with his eyes shut. But when Blaine closed the door the man's eyes opened and started searching the room. When his gaze landed on Blaine he smiled slightly and attempted to wave but the uncontrollable jerking made it look more like a parody of it.

Ignoring the ache Blaine was experiencing from just looking at his friend he took a seat next to his bed. "How are you doing today, James?"

"Better." The man answered slurring a little. "The doctors say that they might let me go home today."

"That's great." Blaine said attempting to smile and ignore the sudden movements of his friend's body. "Will someone pick you up?"

"Yeah, my sister." He said with a strained smile. Blaine knew all too well why the man was hurting. It wasn't the disease, it wasn't even the reoccurring pneumonia, it was the lack of his wife by his side. "She's going to make something nice to eat tonight. She says she would be thrilled if you came."

Blaine smiled sadly. "I wish I could come but I have a late shift tonight. So maybe some other time."

"Maybe that's actually for the better." James chuckled. "You know how she is."

"Yeah." Blaine chuckled too but it probably wasn't very convincing. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I'm alright." He paused for a moment and then his face became stern, yet somehow still friendly and open. "What about you?"

Blaine frowned. "What about me?"

"How are you doing?" James asked looking straight into his friend's eyes.

Blaine shrugged. "Fine."

James didn't look impressed by Blaine's replay. "You know what I mean."

"No, I haven't called my parents yet. But I'll do it." He said even though he wasn't really sure if he was going to do it. It was a very sensitive spot and it would take a lot out of him to make this phone call and hear his mother crying and begging him to come home.

"Do it." James said simply and Blaine looked away not being able to stand his disappointed gaze any longer.

"Yeah…" He trailed off and quickly changed the subject to something that wouldn't make the wound in his heart ache even more. They talked for an hour until James became sleepy again and needed to take a nap. When his eyes closed Blaine quietly left the room and made his way out of the building.

Blaine returned home, put frozen pizza into the oven and made himself comfortable on the sofa to watch some mindless TV show while eating. After that Blaine still had a few hours to spare so he sent a few text messages to Julie hoping that she would update him on her well-being. Unsurprisingly Blaine didn't receive any replay in the course of the next four hours, so he started getting ready for work making a mental note to stop by her apartment and see how she was doing on his way back from work.

This time when Blaine opened his closet he knew he couldn't just throw on whatever. He picked a light blue dress shirt and a pair of form-fitting black pants. Then he combed his hair and even put in a little gel. It wasn't that he suddenly started caring about his appearance but his boss would surely kick him out if Blaine came in looking like a bum.

So looking more like his younger self Blaine left the apartment and once again took the train to the city centre. There he walked for a few minutes until a small and pretty building came into view. Blaine loved the restaurant because waiting tables allowed him to look at the silly couples, careless college students and happy families. It felt like everything that should matter to him was passing him by but for some reason Blaine found the sensation soothing. Even though his existence was only a pathetic excuse for life it was nice to know that everyone else was still the same, still stupid and hopeful.

Blaine walked inside the Italian restaurant, greeted other waiters and cooks, took over the tables for Danny and started working. Maybe the job didn't pay that well and he still had to do other things to get by sometimes but he didn't want anything else. He didn't need much and it was more than enough.

The restaurant was crowded and loud as usual. Well, that wasn't very surprising considering the fact that most of the cooks were Italian and their wives often came in discussing all the newest rumors and loudly commenting on other customers. No one really minded though. It was nice and it felt like home.

"New customers came." Claire, one of the waitress said as she approached Blaine who was currently cleaning up the spilled juice from the floor. "Could you take care of it?"

"Sure." Blaine said and stood up straight. He grabbed his notepad and pen and started approaching the newly occupied table while checking if the floor was still sticky. "Hi, my name is Blaine Anderson and I will be your waiter tonight."

But when Blaine looked up and locked his eyes with way too familiar blue ones his whole world crashed.

A/N: Thank you all for reading and thank you, thelighteninggirl, for leaving the first comment! I really hope you all like this one and please drop a review!