Chapter 4: Ruins
I laid in ruins, unable to trust anything around me. All of my senses deceived, I couldn't believe my eyes when you stood before me, nor could I accept that it was your voice in my ears, your scent in the air, your lips tasting mine or your hand that pleasured my flesh. I ached with desire for you, but could not tell that it was you at my side. I screamed your name into the darkness and heard only silence. Only when we laid quiet under the stars, could we finally feel the presence of each other's hearts. It was in that calm, serene place that, at last, I found myself…and then I turned…and you were at my side.
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"Kuchiki taichou, are you feeling better?" a quiet male voice asked.
Byakuya's eyes opened and he found himself back in a bed in the fourth division…in restraints. He could almost feel the life draining out of him again. Aizen had never kept him bound in such an illusion as this without breaking in every so often to torment him with the fact that he had been taken in, yet again. He had thought that cruel, but it paled in comparison to being stuck in this place, surrounded by the people he so longed to see, the ones he had hoped would someday reach him. But they couldn't really be here, could they?
"Are you hungry, Kuchiki taichou?"
"Are you hungry, Byakuya?" whispered Aizen, smiling, "I know you must be. And certainly, I will allow you to eat. But each time you wish to eat, I will require something of you. This first time, I will make it easy for you. All I want from you…is for you to kiss me."
"I would rather starve."
And he went on to prove it as minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, his hunger grew. He knew that it was only discomfort, that going without food would not kill him. With his powers sealed away, he really didn't need to eat at all…except…he felt the stirrings of the reiatsu that grew inside him…that tiny bit of life that belonged only to Renji and to him. While he might not need food, this one certainly did. And though he could deny himself, he could not deny his child. He couldn't let their child die.
So he laid beneath the restraints, staring up at the ceiling, knowing Aizen would come as he did every day…to take what he wanted…then to tease him with the promise of food or other comforts if he would just return the devil's affections in some small way.
The door opened and the restraints were loosed. Aizen took hold of his arms and helped him to his feet…and his legs collapsed beneath him…and his head spun.
"Byakuya," said the soft voice, "you see how foolish your resistance has become. You are weak with hunger. Just yield one willing kiss and I will allow you to eat."
Byakuya raised his head and met Aizen's eyes calmly.
"I am not weak…I am with child."
Aizen's head tilted in surprise and his eyes widened.
"You are having my child?" he said, smiling.
"No," he said quietly, "This child was conceived before you defiled me. I am this child's only parent."
Aizen observed him carefully for a long moment then lifted him and carried him down the stairs. He placed Byakuya on the bed and fastened the restraints then left for a time and returned with an old male healer. The healer listened as Byakuya explained what was happening and placed his hands over the noble's abdomen, scanning the area carefully.
"The child's reiatsu is healthy…but I would recommend that if you want the child to be born healthy that you cease the drugs you are using and confine your sexual pursuits to those that will not cause injury. And he will need to eat…or he will put the child and himself at risk."
Aizen watched as the healer left, then turned to Byakuya.
"You heard what he said," the leader of the hollows said quietly, "And as I am interested in how this works, you will have no drugs…and we will confine ourselves to more harmless pleasures…but…you must make concessions on your child's behalf as well, Byakuya. You will eat to keep the two of you healthy. But in exchange, I require two things. First, before you sate yourself, you will ask me if I desire anything. And whatever I ask for, you will yield. Secondly, after your child is born, you will bear a child for me…one that shares both our lines."
"You want me to give you a noble born child…of my own blood? Are you insane?"
Aizen's eyes met his coldly.
"Do want the child you are carrying to live?" he asked icily.
Byakuya's eyes closed and he laid quietly, feeling the gentle stirring of the reiatsu of his and Renji's child. He couldn't stand the thought of losing their child. He couldn't lose their child…but…
"Byakuya…shall I call the healer back to end this for you…then you will be free to continue being as stubborn as you like."
He could feel the pulse of that life growing beneath his skin.
"Byakuya?"
"No," he said softly, "I will do as you wish…for my child's well-being."
A slow smile crawled across Aizen's face.
"Very well then, Byakuya. Shall I have food brought for you?"
Byakuya nodded wordlessly.
Aizen's smile widened.
"Don't you have something to ask me?"
Byakuya cringed inwardly.
"Is there something you desire?" he asked in a choked voice.
"Oh, Byakuya, don't be so distant," Aizen purred, leaning down and releasing his restraints, "I want you to ask again…and this time, I want you to say my name when you ask."
Byakuya could barely force down the revulsion.
"Sousuke," he said quietly, "Is there something that you desire?"
The brown eyes blinked slowly. He smiled and pulled Byakuya up so that they sat facing each other on the bed.
"Well…" Aizen said, reaching out to touch his face, "since it is likely that you will be progressively less useful for sexual pleasures, I really think we should indulge now rather than later."
He leaned back against the pillows, meeting Byakuya's eyes squarely.
"I want you to pleasure me."
Byakuya swallowed hard and closed his eyes.
"I thought that…"
Without warning, Aizen struck him hard across the face. Byakuya bit back a gasp of pain and kept his face turned aside.
"You heard me."
There was an uneasy silence, then Byakuya's eyes met his calmly. He leaned forward and brought his lips to Aizen's, trembling as they met. His captor's hand reached up and stroked the noble's cheek where he had struck it, then let his fingers play over the soft lips that had kissed his.
"Make love to me, Byakuya," he said quietly, "and when you climax, be certain that the only word that passes these lips…is my name."
Byakuya gave a shivering sigh and released the ties at their waists. He leaned forward again and lowered his lips to Aizen's throat, drawing a soft, contented moan from the man as he worked his way slowly downward, pleasuring the soft white flesh with pale hands, brushes of his lips and gentle strokes of his tongue. Aizen shifted beneath him and moaned more loudly. He sank his fingers into the silken black hair and forced him down lower. Byakuya dipped his tongue into his captor's navel and sucked warmly. Aizen glared down at him hungrily as Byakuya continued the warm stimulation. A moment later, Aizen tightened hisfingers in Byakuya's hair, freezing him in place.
"If you cause me any injury, Byakuya," he hissed softly, "I will destroy that brat inside you…and then you as well."
He released the noble's hair and watched closely as the sweet, perfect mouth wrapped around him and continued to move. He couldn't help but stare at the lovely sight of that beautiful, tormented face as it rose and fell on hom. It sent soft chills through him and sent him careening into waves of absolute bliss. He forced Byakuya's head down and held him there, feeling his body tighten as he choked and swallowed repeatedly. He pulled away, coughing and gasping as Aizen watched silently. As he recovered somewhat, his captor pushed him down onto his back and brought their mouths together, thrusting his tongue inside and tasting Byakuya's hungrily. He pulled away and smiled down at the noble.
"You must allow me to show you how to do this so that you won't choke like that, Byakuya."
He turned the tables, holding Byakuya in place and pleasuring him slowly and languidly, smirking as Byakuya panted in protest, and moaned in spite of himself. He laughed to himself as he felt the slender, lithe body tighten beneath him. He brought Byakuya close to completion, then looked up at him and pulled away for a moment.
"Remember what I said," he hissed warningly, "what I want to hear from you…"
Byakuya held his breath as Aizen's mouth took hold of him again. He didn't want to say it. He couldn't. He released a sobbing gasp as his release escaped him. His captor's hands tightened threateningly on him. The word broke from his lips and he couldn't bear the sound. He tore free of Aizen and leaned over the edge of the bed, retching violently. Aizen moved closer and wrapped an arm around him.
"Well," he said softly, "It seems as though you've lost your appetite. Too bad, that. And after you did such a lovely job of pleasing me, too."
Byakuya met his eyes for a moment, then he turned his head and bent forward, heaving repeatedly until everything went black around him.
"Kuchiki taichou? Are you all right?" Hiromi asked gently.
Byakuya swallowed hard against the sick feeling that rose up inside. He caught his breath as his counselor's hands moved down to loosen and remove the restraints.
"These aren't really necessary," he said softly, "as we've moved you to a safer room anyway."
It was then that Byakuya saw the bars on the windows, the lack of sharp objects, the heavy, locked door.
"I'm in the psych ward?" he managed, choking on the words.
Tears rose in his eyes.
"It's only while you adjust," Hiromi said, reaching out to touch his hand, "As soon as you are well enough, you can go back to a regular room. You have my word."
"Why should I believe you? I don't even know you."
The counselor smiled.
"I am Hiromi. I was engaged by your elders to assist you in settling back in here."
Byakuya's eyes settled on his.
"Hiromi," he said quietly, "are you familiar with Kyouka Suigetsu?"
The counselor nodded.
"I was interrogated by way of that weapon when I, myself, was a prisoner in Las Noches. Granted, I only experienced it once, but I do remember."
"Then you understand why it is difficult for me to believe anything that reaches my senses."
"Yes," Hiromi said, "I do understand. That is why I am here. I can help you to regain your faith in your senses…and I can help you work your way through what happened to you while you were a captive."
He studied Byakuya quietly for a moment.
"It seemed as though you just suffered from a flashback. You did so after I asked if you were hungry. Can you tell me what you remembered?"
Byakuya looked back at him quietly and sat up, brushing the hair out of his eyes.
"Did you have a bad memory associated with eating?" Hiromi asked.
Byakuya nodded.
"But I don't wish to speak about it, just now."
"Very well," Hiromi said patiently, "I will wait until you are ready. Just remember, the sooner you get these things out into the open, the sooner you will be released from this place."
Byakuya swallowed hard and looked up at him.
"Will I be allowed to see my family? My friends?"
"Of course, Kuchiki taichou, as long as none of them interfere in any way with your recovery. You need your loved ones around you right now. I will not prevent you from seeing them. Actually, Rukia and Renji are both anxious to see you. Rukia went to report to the elders on your condition…but Renji is here. Would you like to see him?"
"Yes," Byakuya said softly, "I want very much to see Renji."
Hiromi smiled.
"I will have him sent in…and I will be back by later. You may be suffering from some withdrawal from the drugs that were used on you during your captivity. I will see that you remain as comfortable as possible as your body purifies itself. Just a moment. I will go and find Renji."
Byakuya sat silently, looking past the bars to the night sky. He longed to walk out under the stars, to feel grass under his feet, to breathe the fresh air.
"Taichou?" said a voice from the doorway.
His head turned and he met Renji's eyes warily. He forced a smile and nodded.
"Why don't you sit down, Renji," he said softly.
Renji approached him slowly and sat down in the chair beside his bed.
"I've missed you, Taichou," Renji said in a voice barely above a whisper, "I thought I would never see you again."
"Renji," Byakuya said, looking up at him, "I told you that night before we left for Hueco Mundo. When we are alone, I want you to call me Byakuya."
Renji looked at him doubtfully.
"Taichou…a lot has happened since that night."
Byakuya stared at him for a moment, then looked away.
"You mean that…you are…with someone else now?" he asked softly.
Renji's eyes widened in surprise.
"Oh…oh, hell no! Byakuya…I couldn't…not with you disappearing like that. I had to be sure about what happened to you."
"It's been a long time, Renji," Byakuya said quietly, "I wouldn't expect you to remain alone…really."
Renji smiled and leaned forward, meeting his lips to exchange a gentle kiss.
"I don't want to be with anyone else," he whispered, "I had to find you. I want to be with you…no one else."
Renji curled an arm around him and kissed him again. As he did, he noticed a pendant on a silver chain around the noble's throat. The pendant was a small sakura blossom made of silver as well. He touched it with a fingertip.
"Where did you get that pendant? I haven't seen it before."
Byakuya looked down at it, then back at Renji and shook his head.
"I think it was a gift from someone in the family. I must have been wearing it when I left home. I don't remember…"
"It's cute," Renji said, smiling, "Just had to make sure you didn't get it from another…"
He stopped himself abruptly. Byakuya sighed softly.
"We have a lot to face, Renji. So much has happened. I want for us to talk our way through everything…eventually…but what I have to tell you first is…"
"I know you had our child," Renji said, looking into his eyes warmly, "Unohana taichou told us that the elders sensed it."
Byakuya nodded and took a breath.
"You have to understand…I didn't initiate the conception…but I chose to include your reiatsu in her creation, Renji. I did it out of desperation. It was a way to feel close to you."
"We have a daughter?" Renji asked, blinking.
"Yes…we have a daughter," Byakuya said, his eyes pained, "Her name is Akane. She has red hair and gray eyes…and she looks more like you. Aizen took her away…and I don't even know if she is still alive. Renji…if she is…"
"Then we'll find her," Renji assured him, "But for now, we have to focus on you, Byakuya. You've been through a lot."
"I'll be okay…but Renji, we have to find her."
"We will find her," Renji promised, leaning forward to kiss him again.
"What are you doing?" asked Hiromi from the doorway.
Byakuya and Renji looked up questioningly.
He stared at them for a moment, then shook his head and carried a tray of food to Byakuya. He set it down in the noble's lap and stepped back. Byakuya looked down at the food and then set the tray on the nightstand.
"Aren't you hungry?" asked Hiromi.
Byakuya felt a chill run down his spine. Not wanting to show his discomfort to Hiromi, he lifted the tray into his lap again. He took a bite and chewed slowly and forced himself to swallow. Renji frowned.
"Hey, don't force yourself if you don't feel like eating, Taichou."
"He needs to eat something," insisted Hiromi, "Look at him…they obviously starved him. And I told you not to interfere…"
He broke off as he noticed that Byakuya's face had paled and he leaned forward, clutching his midsection.
"Are you all right?" Hiromi asked.
Byakuya leaned over the edge of the bed and threw up into the wastebasket.
"Maybe you should let him decide when he wants to eat," said Renji.
"Maybe you should leave and let me care for my patient," Hiromi said firmly, "I think you need to leave. I will examine Kuchiki taichou and call you in when I am finished."
"I don't want him to leave," Byakuya objected.
"I understand," said Hiromi, "he can come back tomorrow. It is late anyway and visiting hours are over."
"If he wants me to stay…"
"Renji," said Byakuya quietly, "I want to be able to see you. Just…go for now. I will be all right. I'll see you in the morning."
Renji looked as though he wanted to argue, but shook his head and, glaring at Hiromi, leaned over to kiss Byakuya on the forehead.
"I'll be back first thing in the morning," he promised.
Byakuya watched as he turned and walked out.
"Now then," said Hiromi, "Lie back and let me examine you."
Byakuya dropped back onto the pillows. Strangely, although he hadn't felt tired before, he felt himself drifting off as the counselor untied his yukata and began to examine his abdomen.
"Let me know if this hurts."
His head began to spin and a soft voice sounded in his mind.
"You know what I want from you before you can eat."
"I understand," he said, leaning forward to meet Aizen Sousuke's lips.
Warm hands took hold of him, turned him and held him down.
"Relax…allow me."
His captor's mouth fastened on his and warm hands pushed his yukata out of the way. He was surprised at being taken with such gentleness…and without the usual verbal barbs. Something felt strange. He shook his head and squinted up at Aizen. His face looked oddly distorted.
"What's happening?" Byakuya asked nervously.
"Shhh…" Aizen said, continuing the steady thrust of his hips, "Lie still and be quiet. When we are done, you may eat."
His eyes closed and he let the sensations wash over him, carrying him away. Finally, he felt the heat of Aizen's release and hot breath against his skin. He faded out for a time, hearing odd whispers in his mind.
"Kuchiki taichou, you should be fine now," Hiromi's voice said, breaking into his mind.
And strangely, the discomfort was gone. Byakuya opened his eyes and looked down. He still felt Aizen's hands on him…but now he felt hunger…
Hiromi set the tray in his lap.
"Go on then," he said softly.
And Byakuya found that he was able to eat.