Chapter 14: Midnight in the Garden
XXXXXXXXXX
I remember the first whisper of your voice as it rose over the sound of the wind in the sakura branches. I lay in forced calm, beneath the trees, power seething beneath my skin and longing to break free. Already the walls were closing in around me…and one by one, the pathways to freedom were blocked. But we had a place they could not enter…a place they could not breach…a place they could not rule. Our inner world is our oasis…and here we move at flash step speed, turning in a never-ending dance, throwing down all who would force us to change. We will never change. We will always be together. We will always be…
XXXXXXXXXX
Renji turned Byakuya carefully onto his back, catching his breath painfully at the sight of the burns, cuts and torn skin. The sight of the once perfect flesh, now bathed in ash and blood made his stomach lurch.
"Kisuke," he said in a terrible voice, "Kisuke, I can't feel his reiatsu anymore."
"Keep pouring your spirit energy into the blade," he told Ichigo, "Don't let it die…"
Kisuke moved across the room and knelt next to Renji. The redhead held Byakuya's limp body in his arms and healing green energy flared all around the two. He leaned over the unconscious noble, adding his own power to the swirl of healing light and forcing it into Byakuya's motionless form.
"Damn…I don't know which one took the worst of this," he hissed softly, "Renji…let me do this. I want you to go and take over for Ichigo."
He lifted his eyes to meet the eyes of the substitute shinigami.
"Ichigo," he said in a low, serious tone, "I need you to go get Orihime…as fast as you can."
Ichigo's eyes widened.
"What about Aizen Sousuke? What if he senses this?" he asked sharply.
"Listen, while I agree that it's important for us not to be found…we won't have these two around to protect if we allow them to die now. Go on, now…"
Ichigo frowned and nodded briefly, then flash stepped away. Renji flash stepped across the room and placed his hands over the broken pieces of Senbonzakura, pouring his energy into it, but letting his eyes stray back across the room to Byakuya. The already pale form seemed even more so, and Renji could barely see the rise and fall of his chest.
"Kisuke…" he said softly.
The shopkeeper looked up at him wearily.
"I'm not going to lie to you, Renji. They're both in a whole lot of trouble. I guess we know now why Byakuya was so hesitant to reconnect with his blade. He probably sensed that something was wrong…but couldn't sense what. So when he tried to get closer to investigate…boom…He probably never knew what hit him. Only his reflexive shielding saved him from dying instantly. But he's still not going to make it unless we hold the two of them together."
"Tell me something," Renji said quietly, "You figure Aizen will sense what just happened?"
"I don't know," Kisuke replied, increasing the flow of healing energy, "Normally, I'd say no…but he has been one step ahead of us all of this time…It's really anybody's guess."
"So what do we do? What if he's on his way here right now?"
"What we can't afford to do is to panic," Kisuke said firmly.
He placed his hands on Byakuya's chest and raised his reiatsu until Renji found himself flinching uncomfortably. He poured his own reiatsu into Senbonzakura, watching as Kisuke began to send heavy shockwaves of power through the noble's body.
"What are you doing?" he asked worriedly.
Kisuke kept his eyes glued to shinigami that rested beneath his outstretched palms.
"Trying to keep this stubborn ass alive…" the shopkeeper muttered.
Kisuke drew back for a moment, staring, then sent another flash of power through Byakuya's body. He frowned and shook his head.
"Renji…it's no good this way. We're going to lose them before Ichigo can get back here. I'm going to resort to something a little more extreme. Grab a shard of that blade and come over here…"
"Now why the fuck don't I like the sound of that?" Renji mused nervously.
"Probably because you value your life…but I'm guessing about now, you're thinking you'd do just about anything to keep ol' Byakuya here alive. Am I right?"
"Yeah…" Renji managed, his heart pounding, "What do you have in mind?"
"Give me your zanpakutou and that shard."
Renji swallowed hard and drew Zabimaru, then handed the blade and shard to Kisuke. The shopkeeper smiled.
"Now, stand back…"
"Hey, uh, Kisuke…this won't…hurt Zabimaru…right?" Renji asked, staring.
"It shouldn't," Kisuke said, looking less than certain, "but who really knows, right? Now, when you get there, you want to wake him and…well…I'm sure you guys will think of something to help him stabilize things until Orihime gets here."
The shopkeeper placed the shard of Senbonzakura against Zabimaru's blade and focused heavily.
"Kisuke?"
Red light flared dangerously around Zabimaru.
"Uh…Kisuke?" Renji said louder.
The light expanded and wrapped around Renji.
"Oh shit, this is…oh shit, shit, shit! KISUKE!"
Suddenly, Renji's entire world turned red. He heard Zabimaru howl furiously and felt his zanpakutou return to his hand. They were falling through a sea of red, Zabimaru still howling and Renji loosing a stream of obscenities. Somehow, the redhead retained enough presence of mind to act.
"Ban kai!" he yelled, "Hihio Zabimaru!"
He heard the shriek of the snake as it broke free of his weapon and caught hold of the red mane as it flashed by him. They were still spinning dizzily, but coasting downward, rather than falling. Freed of the fear he was going to die immediately, Renji spat more obscenities and thought of a thousand different ways to make Kisuke pay for scaring the shit out of him…
"That guy had best hide out from me, crazy son of a bitch! What the hell was he thinking? What the hell IS this place anyway? Zabimaru…where are we?"
The skeletal snake shrugged, nearly sending him flying off its shoulder.
"Hey!" Renji shouted, "Watch what you're doing! It isn't enough that freaky shopkeeper's got it in for me, now you want to kill me too!"
"Shut up and hang on!" answered a voice in his head.
The snake dove downward, passing through the red haze and soaring across a seemingly endless sea. Renji spotted a cliff nearly hidden in mist ahead of them and yelled at the skeletal snake, pointing it out. Screeching, the snake coasted over the water and came down slowly over the cliff and onto an expanse of green grassland. Renji waited until they had come to a stop, then slid down off of the snake's back and onto the ground. He sealed his zanpakutou, watching as the great snake disappeared.
"Where the fuck am I?" he whispered, "What is this place? It feels like…"
He looked around and noticed a small trail leading away from the cliff. He stepped onto it and started walking, noticing the tiny flowers in the long grass, the gurgling sound of a nearby stream and the chirping of birds. Ahead of him, a grove of sakura trees rose up out of the mist. The mist thinned as he grew closer.
"Well, this looks promising, I guess," he murmured.
A sudden rumble went through the ground beneath him.
"What the…"
Zabimaru appeared next to him.
"Have you figured out where we are?" asked the baboon, somewhat sarcastically.
The small boy who accompanied her grinned.
"I don't think he has," he said, rolling his eyes, "Maybe if we wait until this world falls apart, he will get some kind of clue…"
"Will you two shut up?" Renji yelled at them, "All right…I get it, now. This is Byakuya's inner world. I don't know how the hell Kisuke got us in here, but I know what we've got to do. We have to find Byakuya and Senbonzakura and help them somehow."
"Pretty good," the baboon said condescendingly, but we don't have much time, I'm afraid."
As if to punctuate her remark, the ground rumbled again.
"Well, come on," Renji grumbled, starting forward again.
"You're just going to wander around blindly?" scolded the baboon, "You really are an idiot!"
"What the…? Hey, shut the hell up! No one asked for your opinion!"
"Well, you might want to listen to us," Snake Boy added, "because even we can sense reiatsu better than you can!"
"You can not!" Renji growled, flash stepping forward.
"OTHER WAY!" shouted the two zanpakutou spirits, pointing to an unmoving form that lay near the edge of the cliff to the north.
"Fine…that looks like Byakuya. I'll look after him while you guys find Senbonzakura."
"Whatever you say," said the baboon spirit.
"Just as long as you get us the hell out of here soon!" complained the boy, "This place gives me the creeps!"
Rolling his eyes, Renji watched them disappear into the trees, then turned and flash stepped to the body that laid on the ground ahead of him. Renji dropped to his knees next to Byakuya and rolled him onto his back.
"Byakuya? Byakuya, wake up!"
The noble moaned incoherently and tried unsuccessfully to open his eyes. Renji leaned over him, extending his hands over the noble and sending his reiatsu into Byakuya's unmoving form. There was a moment of hesitation, then Byakuya moaned and opened his eyes. The dark eyes blinked several times before coming to rest on Renji.
"Hey…" Renji said, smiling, "It's about time you opened those beautiful eyes."
"Renji…" Byakuya whispered.
Renji pulled him into a seated position and kissed him. Byakuya looked questioningly around, then back at Renji.
"Renji…how is it that you are in my inner world?" he asked.
"Kisuke sent me in," Renji explained, "You tried to unseal Senbonzakura…and something happened…there was an explosion. He sent for Orihime, but she couldn't get to us fast enough."
Byakuya started to rise, but then moaned softly and dropped back against Renji. The ground shook beneath them.
"Renji…I feel…weak."
Renji pulled the noble close.
"What can I do to help?" he asked.
"I don't know," Byakuya said, swaying dizzily.
The ground shook harder. Byakuya trembled softly and his eyes began to slide closed again.
"No," Renji said, shaking him gently, "Byakuya…you have to stay awake. You have to help me stabilize this place."
"R-renji…" Byakuya whispered, reaching up to touch his lips, "Renji…aishiteru yo…"
"Aishiteru yo," Renji whispered back, kissing him again, "please, Byakuya, there has to be something we can do to stabilize your inner world. If we don't…well, I don't want to think about what will happen if we don't. Please, Byakuya, stay with me."
He placed his hands on the noble's face and kissed him again and again. He sent healing reiatsu into Byakuya's body and felt him strengthen slightly.
"Renji," Byakuya whispered weakly, "There may be…something…we can do. But…if we choose to do this…it…will have a very…profound side effect. I don't know…if you would…wish to…"
"Bya, just tell me!" Renji said desperately, "I don't care about the side effects, I just don't want to lose you!"
Byakuya nodded and took a trembling breath.
"If we both…release our life force…and send them into each other…the two will…combine and…fall into balance. It is called soul sharing. I am not strong enough to save…this place, but if we combine…the strength of our souls…we will be strong enough."
"Then let's do it!" Renji exclaimed.
"But Renji," Byakuya said, tightening his hands on the redhead, "such an action will cause our inner worlds to collide and overlap. We…will be…soul bonded and…share our inner world. Are you…sure you…want this…with me? Once bonded…there will…be no one else…for either of us…"
Renji released a shaky laugh.
"Then," he said softly, "I won't have to ever hear you question my loyalty again, right? You'll…trust me completely, won't you?"
Byakuya managed a weak smile.
"Soul bonded can never betray each other," he whispered, "and they are so much a part of each other…they will…even pass from life together. Renji, are sure that you…want this?"
"Do you?" Renji asked, gazing deeply into the noble's dark, beautiful eyes.
"Yes, Renji," Byakuya whispered, reaching up to touch his face, "I was alone for five long years among my enemies. If we do this…I will never be alone and without you again. Even when apart, we will…be able to sense each other's thoughts, see through each other's eyes."
Renji's smile widened and tears rose in his eyes.
"And I want that too," he said softly, "For five long years, I waited and searched for you. I never again want to wake to a day where I don't know where you are…and if the worst happens and I lose you, I don't want my days to go on. I want his, Byakuya. I really do. Tell me how. What do we do?"
"We make love…here, in this place…and while we make love, we release our life force into each other. The two will bind and fill us both."
"Then we'd best get moving before…"
He was silenced again as a deliciously warm mouth closed over his and a hot tongue invaded. The ground rumbled warningly beneath them. Renji took the hint and met Byakuya's mouth hungrily. As he met the noble, kiss for kiss, he loosed the belts at their waists and bared their bodies. Byakuya's arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. The earth beneath them shook violently now, sending rocks tumbling down the cliff near them and sending swirls of dust and cherry blossoms into the air. Renji forced everything out of his mind but the man he loved and kissed Byakuya harder. He parted the noble's thighs and moved in between them. Their eyes met for a moment.
"We don't have time to be gentle about this, so I'll just apologize now," Renji said, positioning himself at Byakuya's entrance.
Byakuya simply nodded and closed his eyes, tightening his hands on the redhead's shoulders. Renji thrust into the noble, gasping softly as Byakuya gave a muffled cry and tightened painfully around him. Renji waited for a moment, lowering his body onto the noble's and kissing him deeply as his body adjusted. The ground shook again and cracked beneath them. Dust rose into the air and began to block out the sunlight.
"Byakuya…" Renji said worriedly.
"Move, Renji," the noble hissed, his fingers digging into the redhead's skin, "I'm fine."
Dark gray eyes fastened on dark brown and everything around the two disappeared. Renji laced the fingers of one hand into Byakuya's and began a gentle thrusting motion. The noble held his gaze steadily, his eyes darkening with pleasure and his hips rising to meet his lover's. Their mouths met in a torrent of fierce kisses and the heat between them intensified. The reiatsu rose around them and within each, their life forces began to pulsate.
Deep inside the two, beneath shared breath and joined bodies, beneath their shaking worlds and zanpakutou spirits that lived within them, the most submerged power, the power of their life forces stirred and began to reveal themselves to each other. As their bodies moved together and their minds joined, each watched breathlessly as the other's past played out in full life all around them.
Byakuya gasped softly, experiencing first hand…as if having been there, within Renji's heart, the hard beginning of his life on the streets of Inuzuri. He felt everything as it happened, each hurt and pleasure that his lover had ever known…and then the noble began to realize just what it was to bond souls. And he desired it with everything that lived within him…but…if he was experiencing Renji's past in this way, then…
"Renji!" he cried, pushing against the redhead's writhing body, "Renji! I…I can't…do this! Renji!"
The redhead broke away from the noble, staring at him disbelievingly.
"But…I thought you said…you wanted this…"
"I do," Byakuya said, tears rising in his eyes, "but I can live with everything in your past, Renji. I know the length and breadth of you and I have nothing to fear experiencing all of you this way. There is no place in your memory that I cannot go…but you…"
He stopped and stared, a tear sliding down his face.
"There are places in my past you should fear going…places I don't want for you to experience…and I can't share those places…that kind of pain with someone I love so much…"
Renji curled a hand around Byakuya's head, sinking his fingers onto the soft, black hair. He brought his lips to the noble's face, capturing the falling tear gently. He met the dark, stormy eyes warmly.
"I'm not afraid of the dark places in your life, Kuchiki Byakuya. There is no place inside you that could be more frightening or could hurt more than losing you. I might be able to still save myself and Zabimaru if we stop now…but you…the one I love…the one I lost…the one I searched for, for five long years…the one who, during that time, I found I just couldn't live without…Byakuya, if we don't do this, then I will lose you…and that would hurt more than any torment Aizen Sousuke did to you. And anyway, those dark, awful places? Byakuya…you shouldn't have to face those places alone. Those are the things that you should share with me…because then the burden wouldn't be yours alone anymore…It would be ours. Byakuya…Please don't give up…please don't leave me now…not after everything we went through to find our way here."
The ground shuddered beneath them, sending a shockwave through the trees and birds soaring away as cherry blossoms rained down from the branches above them.
"Renji," Byakuya whispered, trying to pull free of him, "you should find Zabimaru and go…"
"I'm not leaving," Renji said, shocking Byakuya with a demeanor of absolute calm, "You can give up and let yourself die if you want to…but if you do…I won't want to go on either. The decision is yours, Byakuya. We live or we die…but whatever happens, I will not leave you…"
Byakuya stared at him, pale faced and speechless.
"But you'd better decide quickly," Renji went on, "if you plan for us to live…this inner world of yours is falling apart. Byakuya, we're all dying…"
"Renji…I can't hurt you like that…"
The redhead stared silently into his eyes, waiting as the world around them continued to crumble.
"It hurt so badly to experience it myself. I would never want to have you know the full extent of Aizen Sousuke's evil."
Their eyes locked as the world around them shuddered again.
"Are you giving up then?" Renji asked quietly, "Is that your decision, Byakuya, my taichou, my friend, my lover? Are you going to let us die rather than to share the weight of what he did to you? Who wins then, Bya? Not you, not me…our zanpakutous…our daughter…no one…No one wins if you give up now."
Byakuya stared harder into his eyes, searching desperately for an answer. His heart ached at the thought of Renji experiencing the totality of what was done to him, but…losing everything…
He opened his mouth to answer, but then flinched and caught his breath sharply.
"What is it?" Renji asked quickly, "What's wrong?"
Byakuya shook his head.
"Nothing is…wrong exactly…but something is…happening. Renji…the spirit chamber inside me…is opening…"
The redhead tightened his hands on the noble and met his eyes fiercely.
"I'd say that gives you one more reason not to give up," Renji said, letting a sly smile crawl across his face, "Come on…let's really fuck up Aizen Sousuke's plans!"
Oh kami, I knew there was a reason I fell in love with Renji!
With the world shaking itself to pieces around them, the two joined again, their bodies writhing heavily against each other. The boundaries shattered, their hearts, bodies, life forces and souls came crashing together. The wind rose to a howl around them and the sun was blocked out entirely, throwing the area into blackness…but even in the darkness, the two remained locked together, sharing everything, binding their souls together so that no space was left between them.
Intense waves of pleasure gripped them and they held onto each other, reiatsu rising and swirling madly around them and the life forces exploding out of them, colliding, breaking and mixing together, then returning to each in equal measure. For a long moment, everything around them froze…pleasure, senses, breath and hearts stopped.
And when they began again, their hearts beat together, they captured and released breath as one, and the pleasure that reached their senses gripped them with earth shattering intensity. The beautiful cries of passion that left them now rose into howls of joy that sang out louder than the raging wind. Raked with bliss, they held themselves against each other, giving themselves over to the all over feeling of joining…of oneness…of never having to be alone again.
And the one who had suffered so greatly under the crushing force of Aizen Sousuke's evil surrendered happily to the joining…to tears of relief…and to the comforting embrace of the soul that now lived and breathed alongside his.