Chapter 18: The Haze of Memory
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Walk with me and remember our early days…how the sun brightened the path before us, how the wind cooled our faces as we walked, and how the moon and stars lent their light, even as darkness fell. You should have known that I would not see you gone from my side, that I would hold you in my arms for all time, listening contentedly to your sounds of pain and pleasure. I have you now…and I will keep you forever…
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Aizen Sousuke lounged comfortably in the swirling hot water of his large jetted tub with a pleasingly naked and deeply hypnotized Kuchiki Byakuya in his arms, head rested against his shoulder and dark gray eyes distant and unfocused. One arm curled around the noble's slender waist, holding him close while the other reached up to brush the long wet strands of black hair away from his eyes. Byakuya stared straight ahead as his spouse's fingers stroked his hair gently, then lazily traveled over the perfect skin of his face and throat.
"You see," he said softly, "I told you that I would calm your mind and help you to remember. This is where you belong…this is your home. Four years ago, you promised me that you would never leave me…that we would always be together. And I think you are coming to understand just what that means. I know you realize how angry I became when you escaped with your daughter. I was furious and I thought of many different ways to punish you for your defiance…but now that you are here, I find that I don't wish to hurt you. Perhaps you deserve punishment, but something inside me is weary of that. I long for quiet moments like this…with you resting so contentedly in my arms and the warmth of the water swirling around us."
He turned his head and his lips found Byakuya's and brushed against them hungrily.
"I've been looking forward to today for so long, Byakuya. It's strange. I never intended before that I would come to feel anything resembling affection for you, but lately, it seems, it overtakes me in the oddest ways and at the most unexpected times. Here, I should be angry and punishing you for running, but all I want to do is to hold you like this and remember the day you truly became mine."
He stroked the noble's temple and rested his face against Byakuya's.
"I want you to remember with me…"
Byakuya stirred softly as the images started to replay themselves in his mind.
He walked slowly around the fortress's indoor garden, taking in the scent of the flowers and wondering how anything so lovely could even exist in a place such as this. A great deal of artistry had gone into the making of the garden and he remembered that long ago, in the Seireitei, he had visited Aizen taichou's house with his grandfather for some special occasion and he had found the gardens in that place equally pretty. He remembered Aizen's hand touching his shoulder and the soft, tranquil voice asking if he was enjoying his walk.
Thankfully, Aizen was busy elsewhere this time. But that left Byakuya unprotected in the company of Gin…not the most pleasant thing. Gin dared not lay a finger on him, of course. Aizen would kill anyone for touching him…end of story.
Aizen, himself, took his pleasure of Byakuya whenever and wherever the mood struck him, of course…which explained how he could feel relief at being in the company of Gin Ichimaru. The worst of Gin's taunts and veiled threats were preferable to the most tender of Aizen's touches.
Not that Aizen troubled himself to approach Byakuya with anything approaching genuine affection. Their association was merely a drawn out display of Aizen's domination of the Kuchiki clan leader…something he undertook in the way of revenge for Byakuya's being of a class that thought itself superior to others and was in the habit of holding others down. And some of his accusations against the noble houses were valid…still, their views did not reflect Byakuya's own attitudes or behavior…and he found Aizen's excuses for mistreating him odd in the face of who he knew himself to be inwardly. But Aizen only proved through his behavior and his words that he had no understanding of the complex workings of the man he had captured. Simply put, he didn't want to know. If he ever realized what lay beneath the surface of the pale skin and dark eyes, he might actually be intrigued enough to fall in love with Byakuya…and that was something neither of them wanted.
At this point, Byakuya hardly dared to even dream of going home. It had been nearly a year…and there had been no sign of anyone coming to his rescue. It didn't mean that they hadn't tried. He knew in his heart that Rukia and Abarai Renji would never give up in their attempts to find him…not until they had recovered his lifeless body and seen to his proper burial. No…they would not give up. But that it had been so long meant that they had become stymied in their efforts…and how could he blame them for not being able to find and rescue him when no one else in Soul Society seemed to be able to penetrate the fortress either? And he had overheard Aizen telling Gin that no sign of Byakuya's presence was ever to be left for anyone to see. He was carefully guarded when he was allowed out at all…and he was only allowed out for exercise and appointments with Aizen's personal physician.
He flinched softly as a burning sensation rose up in his midsection. He had been suffering the sensation off and on for several days. And even though his spirit energy was sealed away, he sensed the fluctuations that touched the spirit centers deep beneath his skin. He sighed and stopped, placing a calming hand on his stomach and whispering to himself as much as to his unborn child.
"Not much longer now…I feel you trying to tell me. I wish that you didn't have to be born in this place…under these conditions, and I know he will likely use you to manipulate me, but I cannot help but feel happy for as long as you are there inside me. Little One, I don't know how I would have survived until now if not for you."
"Do hurry up," Gin muttered impatiently, "I don't have all day, you know. Why he has me babysitting you like this…it's insulting. I can think of much better ways to use our time."
"Then it is good you know your place," Byakuya said mockingly, "Sousuke would kill you for even thinking of such things."
Gin chuckled softly.
"This coming from his little petal princess…" he said coldly, "He might kill me for the thoughts, but then he would promptly go about trying them out with you himself. And you know, Bya-kun, it wouldn't be the first time. So shut up and walk…or I might be tempted to give him some nasty new ideas. You know that as soon as that brat in your belly pops out, you are going to return to being his toy again. He only eased up because he is curious."
Byakuya opened his mouth to offer a nasty reply, but stopped as a sharp pain flashed through his midsection and his reiatsu flared wildly beneath the seal. He dropped to his knees and ignored Gin's barbs, continuing to breathe slowly, in and out. At some point, Gin disappeared from his side, but he couldn't rise out of the haze that was settling in around him. He closed his eyes against the pain as his midsection twinged again and beads of sweat broke out on his forehead. He heard footsteps and felt Aizen's spirtual pressure approaching him. He looked up into the deceptively gentle brown eyes and felt himself beginning to sink to the ground. Strong arms caught and lifted him and the smell of flowers was slowly exchanged for the smell of cleaners and medicine. The infirmary…He so hated that place! He turned his head and met the eyes of Aizen's physician and he read the concern. There was no need to wonder about it. He had no idea of the workings of a noble male's pregnancy. He had told Aizen several times in front of Byakuya…and Aizen's only reply was that he was going to have to learn as things happened.
Byakuya knew in theory about what would happen to him, but even knowing how things were supposed to work wasn't enough to get him through. He had to admit that he had his own concerns. He had been weakened by his captivity and might not fare so well in his attempt to give birth to Renji's child.
Renji's child and his…
Not that Aizen Sousuke knew. If he knew or suspected, he would kill the child immediately. He had, of course asked whose it was, but had eventually come to accept that the child was Byakuya's alone. It had been too late by the time his pregnancy was discovered for Aizen to sense reiatsu traces on or in his body…and a paternity test could not safely be done until the child was delivered. But now that he was going into labor, he had to hope that the leader of the hollows would not renew his questions or come to disbelieve what Byakuya had told him.
"Are you comfortable?" the physician asked, brushing his forehead gently with a cool, wet cloth.
Byakuya nodded briefly.
"It is necessary, however," he told the healer, "for the seal on my powers to be released so that I can deliver the child. The reiatsu must be allowed to emerge. It won't do that while I am in this state."
"Very well," the physician said, leaning over him and setting his arms and legs in restraints.
It seemed completely unnecessary to Byakuya as he was unlikely to attempt to flee while giving birth…but then, Aizen Sousuke was always exceedingly careful not to leave him any openings. He wasn't about to let his prized possession and the purported future bearer of his children escape. No…he had never given Byakuya the slightest chance to attempt to escape.
He caught his breath sharply as another pain flashed through his abdomen. The physician bent forward and placed his hands on Byakuya's wrists, releasing him from the seal on his powers…and if not for the kido ropes, he realized, he just might have been desperate enough wanting to protect his child, that he might have done something stupid in that moment, hoping beyond hope that he could somehow get away. But there was no time to dwell on the thought. The release of the seal caused his power to flare painfully. He couldn't quite bite back a cry as his body convulsed sharply and the power blazed around him. Then he remembered reading in the family histories how the power flares made the child bearing time the most dangerous in the noble male's gestation. Whether or not he meant to hurt anyone, he certainly could.
But he wouldn't do it on purpose, not while involved so deeply in bringing this little life into the world. He wondered what his child would look like…Would it be a boy or a girl? What features would the child take from Renji and which from him? Although he would have loved for the child to favor Renji, he knew just how dangerous that would be. He flinched sharply and gasped as another pain struck him. Then the power flared around him again, burning against his skin, and all at once, Byakuya sensed that he was in trouble.
"Sousuke!" he hissed softly, and the man was at his side in an instant. And although Aizen was the last person he would ever want to turn to, Byakuya knew he held all of the power. Only he could help.
"What is it?" Aizen asked, meeting the noble's flickering eyes questioningly.
"The child's reiatsu is too strong. My powers have been sealed away and aren't strong enough to…"
He paused and gave a low groan as the pain deepened and spread. His body lit with power again and he felt light headed and weak. Aizen's hand slipped into his and his captor smiled encouragingly.
"It will be all right. You'll find the strength to do this, Byakuya. I know you will. You want this child with everything in you."
"I…do," Byakuya panted, "but I don't know…how it works. I just know that something is wrong! Sousuke…I need…a clan healer…please!"
"Now, how am I to manage that without giving away that you are still alive? Really…"
"They will…know soon anyway," Byakuya said, trying to catch his breath, "The council will sense…that a child was born. I…made no secret of that. Please…Sousuke, I need a clan healer…one who will have been prepared for this kind of birth."
Aizen leaned over him, brushing his face with a cool cloth.
"I told you. I am not going to do that. You are going to have to manage this on your own, with my physician or it isn't going to happen. I already have what I want. I know now that my plan is workable. I have no real interest in the life of this child. In fact, it will only be a threat to my plans in the long run."
Byakuya's breast heaved with the effort of breathing and his body shook and flared with power.
"Sousuke…if your plans include me…then…you need to be concerned. The birth of a child from a noble male…is a difficult…and dangerous thing, not just…for the child, but for me as well."
He gasped sharply as another pain flashed through him and his spirit centers burned furiously inside him.
"Sousuke…" he whispered, his eyes closing.
"Aizen-sama," the healer's voice said, breaking into his reverie, "he is in distress. This has been too much for him. His reiatsu is declining…"
A hiss of dissatisfaction sounded nearby.
"End it, then," Aizen said in a low voice, "I won't allow him to die. I need him alive."
"You don't understand, sir, this man is dying and I do not know how to save him."
"You heard me. End his pregnancy. Destroy the reiatsu."
"I do not know how. I may be able to force it out, but I am not certain."
"Do it now!"
The healer's reply faded, but he felt his restraints release as a deep shudder passed through Byakuya and his abdomen flared brightly. The noble's eyes opened wide and a gasp of pain escaped him. Aizen gently squeezed Byakuya's hand and spoke quietly in his ear.
"Be calm now, Byakuya. It's about to emerge."
Slowly, as they watched in awe, a small sphere of energy emerged from inside him. It settled onto his chest and began to pulsate. Byakuya curled an arm around the sphere as it shifted and shimmered, forming itself into the shape of an infant. The noble's breath fell into short catches as the child's reiatsu flared, then as the light faded around it, a small cry rose up.
Byakuya's eyes teared and he gathered the tiny baby onto his shoulder, meeting the newborn's eyes with a deeply relieved expression. He touched her face experimentally and she made a very soft, cooing sound and moved her fingers. Aizen stared, transfixed.
"What a lovely little girl, Byakuya," he said softly, "Red hair…quite odd, for a Kuchiki daughter, ne? Quite like that of a certain fukutaichou I know."
Byakuya shook his head.
"The numbers are few," he said softly, "but the red haired daughters in the Kuchiki clan are noted throughout our histories. They date back to the lovely warrior princess, Akane, who married into the Kuchiki clan five hundred years ago. Her descendants share her red hair…and her name. Her name shall be Akane…after her ancestor."
He held his breath, waiting. The story was true and had enough validity to have happened that way…but one as studied as Byakuya in Kuchiki folklore knew that the chances of his daughter having inherited that trait from Akane were slim to none. This had come from Renji…and if Aizen sensed it, Byakuya knew he would not let the girl live. He gazed into the lovely dark eyes of his daughter and prayed silently that his story would be believed.
"Akane…the lovely warrior princess," Aizen said, studying the two for a moment, "Very well, Byakuya, Akane, she is. And as long as you obey me, she will be kept alive and well."
He leaned over Byakuya and placed a hand on the noble's forehead.
"What are you doing?" Byakuya gasped, tightening his hold on the infant.
"What I must," Aizen said, sending his power into Byakuya's body.
He felt numbness stealing over him and sensed that when he woke, his daughter would be gone. He stared into her eyes, memorizing her face, the soft feel of her skin against his, and the sound of her cry as the darkness closed in. A tear slid down his face as his consciousness faded and someone lifted the baby girl out of his arms.
"Akane," he sobbed softly as he sank into unconsciousness.
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When he woke again, he realized that he had been taken from the infirmary and returned to Aizen's bed. His powers were, once again, sealed away and he laid in restraints. His body felt odd and heavy and he felt as though he had been with Aizen recently. Turning his head, he realized that his captor laid beside him, gazing down at him.
"What happened?" he asked in a trembling voice, "Where is my daughter?"
"She is safe…and at such times as I am pleased with your behavior, you will be given opportunities to see her, Byakuya."
"To…see her?" he asked disbelievingly, "Sousuke…I don't just want to see her. I want to hold her…be with her…take care of her. I want to be there as she grows…when she learns to speak and walk. Those are things that every parent desires…and I am no different in that way. How can you do this? How can you keep her from the only family she has here. I need to be with her…please…"
"As well you may," Aizen said calmly, "as soon as you provide an heir for me. Byakuya, while you were with child, I sought a way to awaken your reproductive system. I found what looks to be a viable way…and as you have given birth now, I have attempted to see to the making of an heir, while you were unconscious. We shall have to wait, of course, to see if it was successful, but if it is…and my heir is born, then we will raise the two children together."
"You…while I was recovering from…you…Sousuke, how could you do this?" Byakuya asked, his face pale with shock, "I am in no condition to attempt this so soon after bearing a child!"
"Would you rather wait longer to be with your Akane? I thought you would appreciate me making it happen faster, so as to shorten the duration of you separation from Akane."
Byakuya closed his eyes against the awful feelings that rose up from within him, forcing himself to remember that his daughter lived and breathed only because Aizen willed it. He could change his mind at any time…and she could be killed.
"I see that you understand your position," Aizen said quietly, "and as soon as you can stand, we are going to the throne room, where a chaplain is waiting to marry us. I see a great future for us, Byakuya."
"What?" gasped Byakuya, stunned, "What are you talking about? I have no future with you! I…"
"Be careful, Byakuya," Aizen warned him with a knowing smile, "You don't want to anger me. You see, you thought having Akane would be a comfort to you, but that comfort comes at a price. Because, I have decided that I no longer desire to rule the three worlds alone. I need a royal consort…someone to bear my children and to reign at my side. It need not be such a bad thing for you. As my consort, you will be revered. All will bow before us and marvel at our power and beauty. You have a special place in my vision of the future. You should feel honored."
"Honored…to be your…royal whore?" Byakuya whispered, white faced.
"What are you talking about?" Aizen asked, frowning, "We are going to be married. Byakuya, I having no intention of keeping you as my whore. Truly…I've come to regret that I treated you that way. You are so much more valuable than I knew. Now that I know your full usefulness, I can offer you so much more…"
"I don't want this," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "You cannot make me do this! Kill me, if you must, but Sousuke…don't do this!"
"Kill you?" Aizen said disapprovingly, "You would rather die than rule the three worlds with me? Byakuya…does that mean that I should also kill your daughter…for I will have no use for her once you are gone…and you and I both know that I won't trouble myself with returning her to your clan. So…what will it be then?"
He reached down and released the noble's restraints. Byakuya sat up, rubbing his wrists and trying to calm his raging mind. He couldn't marry Aizen…but neither would he allow Akane to die for his defiance. Aizen had him trapped. There was no choice…
Aizen read the surrender in the noble's expression and gently took his hands.
"Come then, Byakuya, it is time to make this official."