A/N: Yes, late update, but here you go! Again, this chapter is a bit silly and for fun. I feel like the relationship between Ciel and Ash is more of a rivalry right now, each trying to get on each other's nerves. Ciel only makes a small appearance in this chapter, but the next one will be different.

I'm going to do a couple more chapters that introduce the story and develop the characters before I try and make up some sort of plotline, lol.

Thanks! Read and review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my OC(s).

Chapter Five:
A Day With The Servants

Demons didn't need much sleep.

Up and about as early as 4 o'clock in the morning, the Phantomhive butler moved like a shadow as he began his list of morning duties, stringing open all the curtains, swiftly dusting the nooks and crannies of the furniture and preparing a light breakfast for the servants.

They were to be downstairs and ready at promptly 5:30, no later, to eat their meals and proceed straight on to their daily tasks. The house needed to be cleaned and the daytime chores finished before the Young Master awoke. After all, who truly wanted to face a cranky teenage brat so early in the morning?

That's right.

No one, really.

Moving gracefully around the kitchen, Sebastian began opening cupboards, setting up the dishes, and pulling out ingredients. He cracked open a few eggs and poured the milk. As he cooked the breakfast, Sebastian gently tugged a glove off and allowed his fingers to wander over the food, curiously putting them into his mouth, even though he knew what it tasted like. His stomach turned and he couldn't help but wonder how humans were able to eat this stuff.

Souls were delicious.

Not this garbage.

Wiping his hands and putting on his gloves, he continued back to work.

.*.*.*.

The minutes ticked by and one by one, the servants appeared downstairs, clean, bright, and ready for work.

Rather, they were supposed to be.

"Ohh… I almost forgot how it felt to wake up this early…" Bard moaned with his head on the table, a cloud of smoke escaping the cigarette that dangled from his mouth. "…I don't miss it. Even the military was easier than this…" His blonde hair was scruffy despite his attempts to comb it, and he fought to stay awake. Mey-Rin nodded in agreement, cleaning her glasses with a handkerchief and sipping her morning coffee, while Finny also lacked his usual glow of excitement, his exhaustion catching up with him. Tanaka simply smiled knowingly at the other three, being the gentle old man he was.

Sebastian looked over the scene with keen eyes. Something wasn't right. Something was missing.

No, someone was missing.

"…"

He closed his eyes. That urchin never learned.

Ash overslept again.

.*.*.*.

He was in the cellar in a flash.

A lump covered in blankets lay on a cot in the far corner and the butler approached it, cautiously, straightening his gloves. As expected, soft snoring could be heard from the direction as well as unintelligible murmurs that the demon didn't exactly care to make out.

Speaking in a loud voice, he commanded the lump to awaken.

No response.

He reached down and nudged the lump. In an instant, Sebastian was met with a fiery golden gaze that glared daggers into his skull.

"Leave me alone," the figure promptly griped and turned away, pulling the blankets closer and tighter. Ash buried her head deeper into the pillow, her dark hair splayed across the white of the sheets as she attempted to block out his voice.

"An important requirement of a Phantomhive servant is to awake at the desired time and—"

"Ughhh… I'll wake up at my d'sired time, blasted old coot…"

Sebastian blinked, yet his expression remained unfazed. Old coot? First 'Sea Bass' and know this? Sure, he was old; he was a demon. He was probably more than a thousand years, or so. But he certainly didn't look like it. Handsome, charming, smart… why didn't he have the same effect on this human as he did on other women? Ash was female, no?

Heh. A girl, but an odd one at that.

A brilliant idea crossed his mind.

"Hm, however, you should be aware that now is the only time you will receive breakfast…" Sebastian trailed off as he headed towards the cellar door. "And there will not be another meal for hours…"

As if on cue, her stomach grumbled, and no longer being able to take the hunger pangs, Ash moaned exasperatedly. She muttered an obscenity under her breath as her eyes forced themselves open. Bloody butler, playing her like this. She hated to admit it...

But it worked, nonetheless.

Ash dramatically tossed off the blankets, allowing them to float to the floor as she rose from the cot. Her choppy raven hair stuck out in all directions and her oversized pyjamas (lent ever so kindly by the Earl, himself) were bedraggled. Tired, dark circles donned the underside of her eyes, and the former pickpocket slowly blinked. Twice. Yawning and scratching the back of her neck lazily, Ash grabbed her pageboy hat and jammed it on, plodding groggily after Sebastian out the door.

The demon smirked as he heard the footsteps and realized the human had surrendered. He turned around and stopped her.

"Tsk-tsk. Oh, no. You cannot go about your duties looking like that," he scolded, referring to her disheveled appearance. "You must wash your hands and face and wear appropriate servant clothes. I have provided you with some working garments on the stand in the cellar. After you put them on, be sure to comb your hair and…"

His words were lost on the girl.

Knowing he would not stop blabbing anytime soon, Ash rolled her eyes and began moving her mouth derisively in time with his, her head lolling to the side in annoyance.

Sebastian noticed this immediately and paused.

"…Are you mimicking me?"

She froze. Her eyes slowly met his.

Damn. Caught.

"Uhm… no?"

He stared down at her, clearly not amused. She looked up at him, grinning sheepishly back.

At length, a sigh escaped the demon's lips as he raised a gloved hand lightly to his forehead. This 'Ash' character seemed to possess a skill of frustrating people.

Great. Just great. Another stooge of a servant to put up with.

Sebastian briefly mulled over the idea of disclosing to her that he knew of her secret identity, just to keep the thief in check.

No…

Not just yet.

He wanted to witness firsthand what would happen when she was revealed.

"Well, hurry up and be down within the next few minutes," he said, coldly, his kind façade faltering. "Otherwise, there shall be no breakfast waiting for you."

With that, Sebastian stepped down the stairs. The dark-haired girl stood there for a moment, waiting for him to disappear fully from view, before she did as she was told.

"What's got 'is pants all twisted up, anyhow?" Ash muttered to herself, yawning once more as she did so.

"…"

She glanced around. Where was the washroom, again?

.*.*.*.

Footsteps sounded on the polished wooden steps of the staircase. A young figure disguised as a male appeared at the bottom step, looking significantly neater than before.

Ash was dressed in a typical English boy outfit, but it was much nicer than her typical pickpocket outfit. She sported dark-brown corduroy trousers that actually fit and a loose, beige collared cotton shirt with full sleeves that she neglected to tuck in. Her pageboy hat sat upon her head and she wore black socks with flat heeled, clunky shoes.

The former thief was glad. Though she was a girl, she was thankful that her body hadn't begun developing as it should have. She was reasonably tall, but lack of nutrition caused her body to remain thin and lack the proper curves of a woman. Even so, it was only a matter of time before she had to stop pretending to be a boy, and, to be perfectly honest, Ash wasn't anticipating it. After all, picking pockets would be much more difficult as a girl.

Dresses and skirts weren't exactly made for running from the police.

Not only that, but her skills also were not seen as suitable for a young woman her age. According to society, she should be at home cooking dinners and knitting clothes. Ash only gagged at the idea of being forced to do that.

So, she decided that she would keep up with her disguise as a male just as long as she stayed as the Earl's servant. When she eventually paid him back, she would escape and return back to the corrupted alleys of the dark, tainted London streets.

Hiding.

As always.

"Oh, look, he's finally here!"

Ash turned her head to the source of the voice. A young lad with clipped back strawberry blonde hair and big turquoise eyes was smiling widely at her, despite the sleepiness that slipped into his voice. Finnian only looked to be just a tad older than the girl himself, fifteen or sixteen, but his child-like demeanor put her to ease.

That is, until she noticed that there was no food on the table.

Sebastian was in the kitchen cleaning up, so after waving to Finny, Ash pushed open the door and approached the butler.

"So…" she started, hands clasped behind her back, hat above her eyes. She glanced up at him, innocently. "Where's the food?"

Sebastian shook his head, putting away the dishes. His back was to her. "I recall telling you that if you took too long, you would not receive any."

"Oi! That ain't fair! I'm still trying to understand how t' work that bowl-shaped thing!" Ash protested, indignant. "Apparently, there's this chain you've got to pull…"

"Are you referring to the toilet?"

"Ahh, o'course… that's what they're called… I always forget the name! You know… back where I used to live, we din't have any fancy toilets, oh, no, sir. We've got this pot, yea? So we after we take a shi—"

"Your first lesson of the day will be outside in the garden with Finnian," Sebastian interrupted, truly glad he did so. "Take this and go."

Not bothering to turn around, she shoved the girl an adequately sized bread roll in an attempt to shut her up. Ash stared at it for a moment, her hand clutching it tentatively. Within moments, a roguish grin broke out across her features and she stuffed the roll in her mouth.

"Thanks, Sea Bass," she said through muffled teeth as punched his arm playfully. She scrambled out the kitchen door, leaving the demon regretting what he had done.

Hands in her trouser pockets and safely alone, Ash snickered drolly as she skipped towards the garden. These prigs would do anything to get what they wanted.

Well… so would she.

This was war.

.*.*.*.

The garden was hideous.

Ash gaped at the clipped roses and tarnished grass. What happened? Yesterday, the place looked fine!

Her eyes immediately flitted towards the boy who caused the whole mess. One again, Finny was standing there, waving towards the girl, a pair of cutting shears in his hands. His big turquoise eyes brightened at her appearance and he smiled widely.

"Welcome to your first lesson!" he called, beckoning for the girl to come hither. Not knowing what else to do, perhaps, other than run, Ash hesitatingly stepped forward with wide eyes. He tossed her a pair of shears which she fumbled with. Then, he turned around and continued clipping flowers, humming a tune to himself.

"Erm…" Ash finally spoke up once she found her voice. "What exactly am I s'posed to do with this…?"

Finny pointed to an unclipped hedge nearby. "Whatever you want," he replied, cheerfully.

She stared at him for a moment. She glanced to the hedge. She looked at the shears in her hand.

Then, she smirked.

This would be interesting.

Ash hurried over and began clipping. Now, it wasn't as if she was trying purposely to be bad, no, she truly was awful with shears, and so her creation ended up looking like a mangled figure of a cat rather than the original horse she had intended.

"Ooh, that's very good!" Finny encouraged, patting the top of her pageboy hat.

Raising her eyebrows in response, Ash knew that her finished project looked like something she pulled out of her ass, and was sincerely puzzled by his praise.

"…It's awful!" she protested, nose wrinkled, as she ducked from beneath his hand to scrutinize at her hedge from a distance. "It's not good at all!"

Finnian stepped to the side to reveal his own hedge and Ash could only grin and roll her eyes. Of course, he'd compliment hers.

His was even worse.

Well, I hope the Earl don' mind!

She smiled wickedly and started on another hedge, but before she could snip a good amount away, an odd, uprooting sort of noise sounded in the air, and her ears perked up. Ash instinctively dodged the incoming tree, a yell escaping her throat. Finally, the object settled, destroying several hedges in the process as the ground shook beneath her. A rustle of leaves flew into the air, drifting off.

It became silent.

Ash froze, hair standing on end and as white as a sheet, as turned around ever so slowly to see Finnian smiling apologetically at her, rubbing the back of his neck in sheepishness.

"Sorry, Ash! Mister Sebastian always tells me not to touch the trees! I break them sometimes…"

"…"

She dropped the shears as her knees gave way.

.*.*.*.

Entering that garden will be the death of me!

Ash dazedly limped to her next lesson, still slightly scarred from what had just occurred. After all, a tree almost collapsed and smashed her to pieces. And Ciel said that she didn't know how to do anything right! Hmph! The prig probably never had to anything like that in his whole life!

Pushing open the door to the laundry, a young woman with red hair and glasses was standing there folding the clothes caught the scrawny girl's eyes, and she shuffled inside. The young woman, (Mey-Rin, was it?) looked Ash over once before smiling and waving her over.

"Oh, hello, Ash!" she greeted, a faint tint of red spreading across her cheeks. "Come and help me with washing the linens!"

Ash obeyed, nodding, and stepped forward and held her arms out as the woman dropped a load of cloth in them, almost knocking off her pageboy hat. Adjusting the hat, she took a step back and lowered the clothes into the machine.

"Good. Now, you go on and start folding these while I add the soap!"

She took the sheets from Mey-Rin and began to spread them out, matching corner to corner and folding. Her movements were clumsy, but Ash eventually got the hang of it. As she began to fold another, Mey-Rin poured in a few cups of soap.

Ash was not worried at first. Mey-Rin probably knows what she's doing, right? However, after the fifth cup of soap, a hint of suspicion was aroused in the former pickpocket.

"Um, Mey-Rin…" Ash began, eyeing the bespectacled woman curiously. The maid seemed to be confused at her own actions, as if contemplating whether or not she should pour in another cup of soap.

"Don't you think yer puttin' in too much soap?"

"No, no, I'm sure it is this much!" Mey-Rin waved the 'boy' off. "After all, the more, the better!"

Usually Ash would have to agree with that sort of philosophy. She was raised by Badger with close to nothing, and frankly, more was better. But something smelled fishy.

"That's ten cups! It's far too much, Mey-Rin!" she argued, reaching for the container in her hands. Mey-Rin nodded and closed the machine. She looked down at her temporary apprentice and smiled, albeit a bit uncertainly.

"Is it? I only poured in what I thought was enough…"

As if on cue, the machine began to screech out odd noises and tremble. But before either of them could figure out what was happening or what to do, the top popped off and a flood of bubbles and water erupted from the machine.

Ash had backed up against the wall in surprise, although the bottom half of her pants were completely drenched along with her socks. She heard a muffled yelp followed by a thud and hesitantly opened her eyes, gold orbs concentrating on a lone hand that stuck out from the sea of bubbles.

Mey-Rin?!

Her eyes widened and she raced forward to pull on the hand. At once, a mass of soaking red hair was revealed and a pair of glasses that hung off the young woman's ear.

"Are you alright, Mey-Rin?" Ash asked, frantically.

Mey-Rin's blurry vision focused on the 'servant boy' before her, and she blushed deeply upon realizing that 'his' face was so close to her own. She found Ash's light golden eyes and delicate, feminine features just so hypnotizing and couldn't help but melt at 'his' touch.

"I-I-I'm fine!" she stuttered, turning her head away and adjusting her glasses over her almond-shaped, magenta-colored eyes.

Ash blinked, puzzled as to why the maid had reddened so much. Was it because she was a 'boy' and happened to get so close? She did notice that Mey-Rin frequently blushed around Sebastian, clearly infatuated with him, and hoped desperately that she would not get the wrong idea.

Shit.

She dropped the maid's hand without another thought.

.*.*.*.

Ugh… my socks are drenched… Bloody machine!

Stomping dejectedly over the floor, Ash felt the water leak from her shoes and make an annoying squeaky sound with every step she took. First a tree almost killed her and now she was soaked from the knees down.

Today was not a good day.

The smell of something burning invaded her nose and Ash followed it to the kitchen.

"Bard?" she questioned at the sight of the cook hovering over a dangerously hot bowl of soup. "What're you doin'?"

"Oh, Ash, good to see you!" he replied, stirring the mixture. He looked her up and down and frowned, a cloud of smoke escaping his lips from the cigarette. Ash immediately realized what the burning scent was and visibly relaxed.

'Ey, at least the place wasn't on fire.

"Why are you all wet?"

"Mey-Rin."

"Ah… Well, I can tell you that you won't be soaked in my care!"

Bard grinned and stopped stirring, only to move to the counter and pick up a tubular, strange looking item. To her surprise, he threw it to her and she only barely managed to catch it, fazed by how heavy the thing was. And what was it with the servants tossing her things? She nearly lost her fingers from the shears Finny threw.

"Um… what is this?"

"A flamethrower!"

The dark-haired girl stared at the cook with a look of pure and total disbelief. The tubular object in her hands looked odd but she had heard of a flamethrower. They were those machines that spouted out a burst of fire in whatever direction one desired. Ash had to admit, they were pretty bloody amazing, but the question remained.

"What's it for?"

Pointing to a raw chicken that sat on the plate beside her, Bard replied, "To cook, of course!"

"Why don' you use the oven?" Ash asked, genuinely confused.

"It's so much easier and faster this way. Plus the oven is broken, but no one needs to know that," Bard mumbled the last part but Ash had heard him clearly. "Trust me, kid. Here, let me show you how to do it."

Baldroy wiped his hands on a rag and stepped over to the 'boy', turning him around to face the counter with the platter of chicken. He leaned down His hands held her smaller ones as he guided her fingers around the handle and nozzle of the flamethrower, his chest brushing against her petite back.

At the contact, Ash reddened slightly, only because he was smiling so encouragingly at her and it had been a while since she had seen something so genuine. She watched as the young man's eyes widened curiously at her reaction.

"You okay, kid? You look a little flushed."

Dammit! I'm actin' like such a girl!

She pulled away from Bard before he could place his palm against her forehead and beamed up at the cook.

"O' course! Never been better! I can do it myself!"

Ash turned to the chicken and raised the flamethrower. In an attempt to point it at the meat, she ended up turning it upward as she squeezed the pump. A burst of fire shot out at once and Ash could hardly see what was happening.

It was only for a moment.

And the chicken remained uncooked.

.*.*.*.

By the time Ciel awoke and arrived to the table for breakfast, the rest of the servants, including Sebastian, had already seen and shared a laugh at Ash's little problem, despite the former thief's attempts at washing away all of the soot from her face. They found it ironic that she was called, 'Ash' and continued to crack jokes until she threatened to hide their belongings.

After the distressing incident, Ash eventually slumped down in a chair near Ciel. Her pageboy hat was noticeably lower on her face, concealing her eyes from view.

"How was your first day with the servants?" Ciel asked, truly curious, although Ash could hear the smugness in his voice. Sebastian stood on the far side of the room but the girl could see him turn around to listen from the corner of her eyes.

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she kept her head lowered.

"Fine."

"Oh? Did you learn anything useful?"

"Of sorts."

Ciel took a sip of his tea. Realization dawned on him when he noticed that his page hadn't even looked at him once during their conversation. Perhaps he should get to the bottom of it…

"Well?"

"…'Well', what?"

"Did you learn anything useful?" he repeated, unusually persistent. If she'd known better, Ash might have not responded, but, honestly, the girl was at the end of her rope. She'd almost been killed by a tree, gotten her clothes soaked, and burned the hair above her eyes!

Ash snapped up at him, golden eyes ablaze as she barked out, "I already told you—"

The pageboy hat had slipped up her forehead, pulling her dark, messy locks out of the way and revealing the upper portion of her face. Upon noticing this, the girl blushed furiously again, yanking the hat back down over her eyes as Ciel blinked at her, momentarily bewildered.

Well, this was unexpected.

"Singed eyebrows?" Ciel sneered and he could see that the street urchin wanted nothing more than to stab him with his silverware.

"Shut up!"

A small smirk spread across the young Earl's face.

Vengeance was sweet.