I'm so sorry for the delay! I've been having some pretty big Writer's Block lately, so I haven't really gotten around to writing another chapter. My Immortal is so hard to adapt, because it's already making jokes by itself. I honestly feel bad for Tara, because of one damned thing she wrote, everyone knows she sucks. Also, if anyone has a story of their's that they want me to read, I'd love to find a good fic!

CN: Stop... Flassing?! Seriously, Tara? FLASSING?! That sounds like something you do for proper oral hygiene! Well, stop "flassing" (Oh god I hate myself...), if you do, then you're a prep! Which is a bad thing, I guess!

Everyone in the class stared at me, probably for one of these reasons: One, explained in chapter one, two, for some reason I don't go to any class, so I'm just bursting into random ones.

Then, Draco, still naked, came in, and started begging me to take him back. Nobody was staring at him, by the way, because I'm awesome

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco pleaded, "Seriously. I have no idea what you're even bloody angry about."

A girl named B'loody Mary (Haha, Tara is so clever. Wait a second while I take some happy medicine...) Smith snickered. Time for a long-winded paragraph about her! She flipped her waste-length (She has never gone to a barber. Ever.) gothic hair, and opened her crimson eyes, because they were closed for some reason, that looked like blood, due to the contact lenses she was wearing. She had pale white skin, and she was wearing white make-up, due to her being a white supremacist. She was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires, BUT ONE IS A WITCH, so only the father is a vampire. Voldemort killed the Mother because plot, and her father commited suicide soon after. She still has nightmares about it, despite it happening when she was born, because her memory kicks ass. She's very haunted and emo about it. Also her last name is Smith, not Granger. I have no idea why we thought it was Granger. She's also converted to satanisim, and is now in Slytherin, not Gryffindor.

And then the girl next to her, Hermione Granger, face-palmed. Wow, that was a pointless waste of a narration.

"What do you desire, you idiotic wankers?" Severus Snape asked. I considered asking him for a potion that would stop me from being a Mary Sue, but I then decide to ignore him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I yelled.

Hermione face-palmed yet again. "Um, two things. One, I assume you mean Harry. Two, HARRY ISN'T GAY!"

I'm so angry, we're going to switch to Draco's narration for a paragraph for no reason!

I could go for a Yorkshire Pudding right now- Wait, I'm narrating now?! Wow. That's random. I don't see why Ebony thinks I'm dating that insolent Harry Potter! I hate his bloody guts! And I'm not even bisexual, let alone gay! He's a stupid preppy f cker! HE LIKES BRITNEY, you know, that person we will never mention for a million bloody chapters!

"Sorry, Ebony, you've got it all wrong. I'm not dating Draco!" Vampire laughed.

"Yeah fucking right! SCREW LOGIC, I'M A SUE!" I ran out of the room, to the Forbidden Forest, which is within walking distance for even the laziest Sues like me now. There, I lost my... Virility (So we can't say anything relating to intercourse?) to Draco, and I burst into tears.

Well, that's chapter 8 of My Mortal! How did you like it?

I'm considering doing a Your Life With Ron Weasley parody called A Sue's Life With Ron Weasley mixed in. I'll try to include the first one soon, but I might not you know, ever do it.

I've also started writing my first actually serious storyfor Fan Fiction, called Bloodbath. It's an SYOT, and I'd love some entries. Go to my profile, and you'll find the first chapter and a submission sheet.

Thank you and goodbye!