Chapter 10- A Steady Dose of Bland

CN: Okay, okay, okay. I know this story hasn't been updated, for, like, half a year, give or take. I have one thing to say about that... You're welcome.

CN: (Continued because I have a hell of a lot uninteresting ramblings to spew.) So, let's look at what Tara has for me today... Oh god. No. I'm not going to read this hypocritical bullsh- how much moniez? Emo Goff Wannabes must be freaking rich! Alright, I'll say it...

CN: (Continued because I'm a sellout. A sellout with more money than you, bitch.) Stup it u gay fags! (That's right! Only MY characters are allowed to be gay! It's gross when you commoners do it.) If you donut like this story, then, what the hell do you know. You're a freaking donut. Also, B'loody Mary isn't a Muggle after all, she's a vampire and therefore evil, so they moved her house. Though that isn't very relevant, since she isn't a character in this series!

I waz really scared about Vlodeborg all day! I mean, wouldn't you? His fish net stockings shall eternally haunt my Tim Burton-esque dreams. I was even super duper totes for realz upset when I went to the rehearsals for my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic 6669 Emo Wristcut Vampire Satanic Dobby Super Pals Three Days Grace Burton! I'm the lead singer of it, and I play guitar, because don't I look like someone with enough time, skill, and focus to play a instrument?

People say we sound like a cross between Aids and cancer- I mean, GC, Slipknot, and MCR! (No, I don't know who those are either...) The other people in the band are Hermione the Vampire Slayer, Vampire, Draco, Ron (though we call him Diabolo now, due to his devilish good looks, and his love of the phrase YOLO, or YOLOSYSCYC, meaning 'you only live once so you should cut yourself constantly'. He has black hair with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid, Hagrid's pedophilic, Alan Moore like brother! Though, Draco and Vampire were huge meanie stupid poopoo heads, and didn't show up for my totes coolio band practice, so we wrote songs instead. Draco was probably snacking on taffy, and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like 'PeeWee Herman's Big Adventure'. I put on a... Oh no. No no no no no no on no non oianpnfodsn fuosdbfuichdsiozsxnisaoudxb

NOT A CLOTHING DESCRIPTION! NOT AGAIN!

... Let's just... Skip that part, okay?

Whilst singing a cover of some emo song 1% of David Noklevername's readership has actually heard of, I burst into tears.

"Are you okay?"Asked Hermione, as she pretended to give a shit about the previous emo singings. "I genuinely care. Totally."

"WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK SHIT COCK DO YOU THINK?!" I screeched in reply.

"I think that I want to get out of this room as soon as possible-"

"Well, Vlodmeort cummed- I mean, came. Sorry, that happens later in the story. Anyways, Voldeborgenshmorgiesta came and told me to fucking kill fucking Vampire fuck! But, I don't wanna kill him!"

"You don't bloody well say," Sighed Hermione unsexily, "So, why don't you just not do it?"

"He said if I don't, he'll kill Draco!" I complained. Suddenly, a WILD EMO appeared from behind the wall!

HERMIONE used LOGIC, "Uh, Draco, why are you hiding behind the wall?"

DRACO used 'MY IMMORTAL' LOGIC, "I was eating taffy there, duh," DRACO used BLIND ANGER on MARY SUE- I mean, EBONY, "Why in all bloody hell wouldn't you tell me that, you fucking poser stupid meanie poopoo head?"

DRACO ran away!

I started to cry. It was so sad! GASP NOISE! I know how to solve this... CUTTING MYSELFL!

As I reached into my Razor Cupboard, Dumbleedore bursted in, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" He cried, "Draco has fucking sewicides! Also, I lost my supply of Tylenol!"

Guys, I really am sorry for the nearly 6 month space between updates... I've gone through a ton of things, and, despite attempting many times, I haven't really gone around to finishing this chapter.

I'm sorry for the poor quality in comparison to the last chapter! I'm a little rusty, and I'd appreciate if you drop a review and tell me how to improve? Or, just drop a review and pile undeserving praise onto me? THANKS!

Also, wondering why Hermione is hanging out with Ebony and the Funky Fresh Emo Gang? I'll explain that in a later BONUS CHAPTER!