I wanted to die. I really, really wanted to die. My heart was pounding in my chest and I swore my stomach was about to flip out of my throat. Vomiting was surely inevitable. There's no way I could finish this day without puking out my insides. I rubbed my sweating palms on the knees of my worn jeans for what felt like the hundredth time and continued to stare out the passenger side window as I was driven to my unfortunate fate. I tried to focus on other things, like the trees, the road, the oh-so cliché rain - anything that would take my mind off this utter panic I was feeling. Of course, it didn't work. Does it ever work? How can you possibly distract yourself from impending doom?

You can't.

A muted voice was droning on and on beside me. I could distract myself from that easy enough, sure. Aerith or my "babysitter," as I preferred to call her, was my ride and, while she was attempting to talk to me in order to explain some things and to calm me down, she was really talking to herself. I wasn't listening. Fuck it, I couldn't listen. Not at a time like this - not when the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat inside my skull and her voice muffled in the background. I knew the rehabilitation centre was my only option, but, damn, did it spike my anxiety to record highs. Heaving a sigh, yet again, I leaned forward and rested my forehead onto the window. Aerith's voice eventually trailed off. I wouldn't be surprised if the air of my overall mood managed to suffocate her.

I was never good at being "in trouble." In fact, I tried to avoid it. I was a good student. I never got detentions. I hardly ever fought with my parents. And yet, here I was, "in trouble." I pulled my thumb to my mouth, chewing the skin around it, and closed my eyes in attempt to calm down some more.

Inhale…1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 Exhale…1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Inhale… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5-

"It'll be good for you, Roxas." My door was opened and I was greeted by a gust of cool, damp air and Aerith's soft voice. I opened my eyes slowly only to find Aerith in my line of vision effectively blocking my new home for the next two months from my eyesight. She smiled softly and sighed a little. I could tell she was trying to think of something comforting to say, but nothing came to mind. I watched her smile fall drastically as she opened her mouth, but promptly closing it. Damn. I must've looked pretty fucking pitiful to make even Aerith, the queen of comforting words, fail to come up with something to say. Instead, she smiled again and stepped back to wave me out of the car.

Oh god, I don't want to look.

Reluctantly, and after a few calming breaths that did absolutely nothing to help, I stood up and looked at the building.

Okay, so it wasn't as daunting as I thought. Even with the rain it didn't seem even remotely threatening. It wasn't tall. It wasn't grey. It didn't have one of those creaky, giant wrought iron gates and it certainly didn't have thunder and lighting spewing from above. It was simply a two story, white building with a manicured lawn in the front with a sign stating "The Radiant Garden Clinic." It was nothing special. Nothing that would make a person really want to take a double look. Okay, it wasn't as frightening as my imagination made it out to be, but still.

No matter how decorated a rehabilitation clinic was, it was still just that. A rehabilitation clinic. A place that you're not supposed to go. A place that you're supposed to avoid. A place that you don't speak of. At least not here. You were pretty much committing social suicide if you went to a clinic like this. It meant you were just one of those homeless junkies, despite the fact that you may have a home to go to. All that didn't matter after you stepped foot into one of these places and didn't know how to keep your trap shut. Going into rehab was attending a walk of shame.

"We have to go in, Roxas. Just staring isn't going to make your time go by faster," Aerith's voice said gently from behind me as I felt her hand lightly nudge me forward. I nodded dumbly as she stepped ahead of me and trailed behind her with my hands crammed into my hoodie's pockets. My head was doing that spinning thing again. My throat felt dry, stomach queasy, and my legs felt like they were filled with lead as I trudged forward. The building looked bigger as we got closer. I felt like I was slowly getting smaller and that cheerful little building I saw moments before was turning into the massive tower I saw in my imagination. All I needed was some lightning and this would be a scene right out of a horror movie.

I swear I blacked out as soon as the doors opened because next thing I knew I was sitting in one of those shitty plastic chairs in a room filled with other people in various states of decay. I remembered a smiling face of the receptionist, signing a paper, and words. A bunch of words that I had, of course, tuned out again. A hand on my shoulder jolted me back to reality, my eyes burning from the fact that I probably haven't blinked in some time.

"Roxas." I instantly looked up at Aerith with disdain in my eyes, silently begging her not to leave me here. To find another way out of this. I was not like the others here. I didn't look like a fucking corpse and I certainly didn't have the annoying shakes and voices and all that other shit the others were experiencing.

"I don't want to be here… I'm not like them," My own voice scared me. I wasn't expecting to speak and, when I did, my throat hadn't opened enough for my voice not to come out as a squeak. I gestured around the room as if I actually had to prove my point. I knew I didn't. Aerith knew I wasn't like these other people.

"It'll be good for you, Roxas." I felt myself slump down a little at those words. She wasn't going to get me out of here, was she…? "Don't worry about them. You're here for yourself, not to make friends. Just keep your head down, do what the attendants say, and get better." I barely nodded my head, turning my vision to the floor when I felt her hand slip off my shoulder. I knew my fate was sealed when I heard her heels clicking against the laminate floor as she exited the room. Putting my hands back in my pockets, I hunched over in a feeble attempt to curl into myself and just shrink away and vanish. I knew it wouldn't happen, obviously, but the thought was nice.

You're here for yourself, not to make friends.

I scoffed to myself at that thought. I highly doubted any of the zombies here even knew where they were let alone noticed anyone else in the room. The most of them just had vacant stares, anyways. All I had to do was keep quiet and slip by these next two months unnoticed. Besides, I was here for myself. I didn't have to talk to anyone if I didn't want to. My mind was still reeling, but I managed a game plan. Shut up, lay low, and get through this alone. Simple. Easy. No problem.

Screeeeech.

Life fucking hated me. After a few more obnoxious screeches, I figured out that it was a chair being pulled up beside me. Hopefully, I prayed, just for a better view or something.

"Hey."

I repeat, 'Life fucking hated me.'

The soft thump of someone plopping down in the chair sounded out, causing me to grit my teeth and swallow a sigh. See, I'm not really a spontaneous type of guy. As I said, I don't like to get in trouble and, for some reason, spontaneity and trouble seemed to always go hand in hand. I was more of a 'plan your shit out' type of guy. Think of every option meticulously, figure out every problem that could arise, and think of a way to counter each problem you thought of. Because I had only thought of my official game plan about, oh, thirty fucking seconds ago, it wasn't exactly all well thought out. I'm positive that I'm not the only one who gets just a little pissed when someone interrupts their thoughts. Especially important thoughts. Important thoughts that will most likely allow oneself to keep their sanity.

"Haven't seen you before. New here?" I pinched the bridge of my nose, but kept looking in the opposite direction. Just some junkie who will get bored and wander off to some other junkie to start some half ass conversation neither understands. Just some junkie… Just some junkie… Ignore, ignore, ignore, ig- "Not very talkative, huh?" -nore. I heard the man beside me chuckle followed by some rustling of his clothes as he shifted on his chair.

Silence instantly enveloped me after that little laugh for a few minutes, but I knew he was still there. I hadn't heard him get up and leave and I could feel eyes boring into me. Frankly, it was getting on my nerves, but I held my ground regardless. Don't even acknowledge him. Just stare ahead. He's not there. If you act like he doesn't exist, he'll leave. Yeah, okay. That was too good to be true.

"You're pretty cute…" That voice was in my ear. No, literally, right in my fucking ear. I felt the soft brush of lips on my ear and I froze. Who does that? Who the fuck does that? What do I do…? What the fuck do I do? I could feel my face heating up because, honestly, who does that! My frustration finally won and I whipped my head to look at whoever the pervert was to give him a piece of my mind.

"Who the fuck-" My voice died in my throat when I saw the pervert. The very attractive pervert…

I suppose now would be a good time to clear something up. I prefer women, but I have fooled around with a few guys before. And, while I can appreciate a guy's looks, none have actually made me freeze up before like I was doing.

He was pale, skinny, like a typical druggy. But his hair was so red and bright, spiking out in all directions behind his head. However, the wild hair wasn't what got me. It was his eyes. They were the brightest green I had ever seen and the small tear drop tattoos underneath them just gave off a completely exotic look. He was captivating to say the least. Jaw dropping. Able to render a guy speechless…

Incredibly…

Undeniably…

"So you can talk! Not for very long though… Thinkin' some naughty thoughts about me, cutes?"

Infuriating.

He was grinning at me with his cocky fucking mouth. He rested his head on the knees of his frayed black jeans that were pulled to his chest, his head tilted so he could just look at me. No… Watch me. It was like he was watching every move I made, inspecting every last thing about me. Something about that was unnerving. Staring at someone was one thing, but watching? That was downright creepy. I narrowed my eyes at him faintly and turned my head the other way again.

He laughed. It was loud and bordering on a cackle. Definitely not something one could ignore, but I tried my fucking best.

"I was just joking, kid! What's your name?" I refused to answer. Absolutely refused. How desperate was this guy anyways? Who just saunters up to someone in a rehab clinic and attempts to make friends? Maybe he was trying to get connections for when he was out. Trying to find out what drugs I do in order to get some from my dealer or whatever. "Well, I'm Axel." I rolled my eyes. If he wanted to be persistent, I could be persistent right back and I was sure I could outlast some junkie's attention span. As Aerith said, I'm not here to make friends. Besides, why should I even keep bad company anyways? They could get me in even more shit. "You are cute though." I bristled at that, attempting to tune him out. "Wouldn't mind taking you out on a date."

"Axel!" Both of us jumped when his name was called by the large attendant at the front of the room. She was glaring hard at the redhead beside me, at least. Last thing I needed was to get in more shit before I even started my stay. At least it wasn't like school. Where that one fucking kid talks to you and you both get in trouble. I hid my smirk when the attendant turned her back again figuring that would shut Axel up. I'm sure he really didn't mind being in trouble, of course, but surely he didn't want to step on the wrong toes.

"Hell, I'd even pay…" I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt his lips on my ear again, the whisper sending chills up my spine. I practically spun my chair around as I turned around to face him, glaring as he leaned back just as fast in his chair with that stupid smile again.

"Does that fucking work for you?" I all but snarled, glaring daggers at this Axel who seemed to just be amused by my reaction. Let's see how amused he is when I tear out his fucking throat. I darted my eyes over to the attendant who still had her back turned, thankfully.

"Does what?"

"Trying to pick up boys in rehab?" Axel snorted and laughed as he leaned forward again, causing me to be the one to lean back now. I hated that fucking shit-eating grin of his. He opened his mouth to say something, but his name was called again. I let out a breath of air as I saw his smile fall off his face and his eyes darken as he turned to look at the owner of the voice. It was that wonderful attendant again. She looked like a bitch, but if she was going to keep Axel out of my hair, she was my saviour.

"Yes?" He hissed towards her. She glanced up again from the clipboard in her hand, her eyes locked onto the redhead's. Either he had some sort of history with this woman or the two just had a personality conflict. I slowly shifted my eyes to the attendant as well, assuming that I was safe from Axel while she was around so I didn't need to keep my eyes on him. At least my ear wouldn't be assaulted again.

She waved him over causing him to sigh loudly like a dramatic teenager and uncurled his long legs from his chair. With a loud screech from pushing his chair back, causing everyone in the room to wince as their ears were attacked, he walked slowly to the front of room. Good. Get the little shit in trouble on his first day. Maybe he'll leave me the fuck alone now.

"This is Mr. Lea's fifth time here," her voice was scratchy and rough, like she hadn't had a drink of water in years and it made me cringe. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like to be right beside her like Axel was. "Almost a record. Do not become like Axel here." Okay, so this was getting a little harsh… The guy was annoying, sure, but he had a problem. I knew I was going to hate him, but to just single him out like that…? "He hasn't lost his appearance to the drugs yet, but I assure you," I watched in a mixture of shock and disgust as she gripped Axel's wrist tightly and yanked his sleeve up. "He's just like you lot."

There was a dark hole in the crook of Axel's arm along with a few others dotting around the same area. Heroin or something along those lines. I could see the anger in Axel's face, but there was something else there. Shame? Embarrassment…? He certainly looked uncomfortable, but I couldn't really blame him. Even though practically everyone in the room wasn't paying attention, having your addiction paraded around at the front of the room like some kind of disease was still nerve racking. I wasn't so sure if I liked this attendant anymore…

"Grab your clothes on the table to the left and go to your room listed on the sheet that's there as well." Axel pulled his arm out of the attendant's grip so quickly that it made her stumble and pulled down his sleeve, hiding the hole from prying eyes. I couldn't help but watch as he stormed to the table, grabbed his clothes, and left through the door. Just like that. The door was swinging violently on its hinges, banging into the wall from the force Axel had pushed it open with. I felt bad for him. As I said, I knew I was going to hate him, but I still felt bad. It was strange to see someone that was playful and teasing just moments before turn into the angry redhead who had just stormed out of the room.

I blinked a few times when the chairs started to screech from everyone standing up. Heaving a feeble sigh, I stood up as well and made my way over to the table. I wasn't overly excited for the light blue scrubs that were waiting for me on the table, but I assumed it was more for the other junkies here. Most of them had tattered, dirty clothing and the staff here probably wanted to get rid of the smelling garments as soon as possible. I grabbed my clothing and looked at the sheet of paper taped to the table in order to find my new room. Room 13. At least it was my favourite number… That had to be a sign, right?

I headed over to the swinging doors I had watched Axel storm out of and found myself in a white hallway. The fluorescent lights were flickering slightly and I could feel inevitable headache coming on. I knew that this was a clinic, but did they really have to make it so much like a hospital? I held the clothes to my chest and attempted to find my room. It was easy enough, the rooms dotted each side of the hallway, even numbers on the left, odd on the right. I noticed that there were fourteen rooms on the list so I was definitely near the very end. I didn't bother looking up as the other junkies milled around me, some following close behind me, others pushing past. I just wanted to get to my room, shut the door, and sleep for the rest of my stay. I let out a breath of air I hadn't realized I had been holding when I reached my room and opened the door.

How did I not see this one coming?

That stupid fucking grin greeted me. "I guess we're roomies."

Fuck.