The sunlight was blinding me again, but much earlier than normal. It was then I realized that it was because the blinds weren't closed the night before. I was beginning to see why Axel instantly grabbed the bed under the window opposed to across the room. I guess you start to learn these little tricks when you've been at the place five times.
Speaking of the red head… Last night came flooding back thanks to the oh so appealing taste in my mouth. It hadn't bothered me last night, but it just seemed… wrong now. At least I wasn't going to shock at the memories like I thought I was going to. At least I didn't regret it. I wasn't exactly jumping for joy at the fact that I kinda-sorta hooked up with Axel, but… it wasn't bad. Still, I groaned a bit at my stupidity and rolled over in the bed, pulling the blanket over my head to hide from the sun.
"I'm flattered, blondie." I groaned again. Louder and more frustrated. Why was he still in my bed? Why? I was already woken up way too early and I really didn't want to deal with Axel right now. At least, not with him hogging half my bed. I pulled the blankets down over my head with a huff to look at him. To see what he was on about now. And then my blood ran cold.
In his hands was my journal. My journal turned sketchbook… My journal turned sketchbook that, sure, consisted of various people from the clinic, but mostly Axel. In his hands. And open. And Axel, you know, the one who the journal mostly consisted of? He was looking through it. Fuck.
"Stop!" I cried out, probably too loud for the morning, but I didn't care. I lunged at him, closing extremely short distance between us, and grabbed the book from his hands, snapping it shut. I could feel my face heating up worse than yesterday as he grinned cheekily at me. Compared to last night, this was nothing. To most people. But to me, it just unlocked the level: Creepy Stalker.
"Judging from last night, I knew you liked me," Axel better shut up right now if he didn't want the book shoved up his ass. "I never knew you liked me, though. It's really tou-" I shut him up with a pillow to the face, wishing I had the balls to attack him with the journal instead. Especially because he just fucking laughed at my assault.
"Shut the fuck up and get off!" I practically screeched at him. I was embarrassed and frustrated and I really didn't want to deal with his shit.
"We did! Last night! Remem-" With another battle cry, I pummelled him with the pillow again, my face turning redder by the second. I hated him. I hated him so fucking much. And he was laughing. Laughing when I wanted nothing more than to strangle him. "Okay! Okay! Calm your tits, Roxy!" He ungracefully crawled over top of me because I was still trying to destroy him with the fluffy bag of feathers, sticking his tongue out when he successfully manoeuvred off my bed.
"You're a fucking prick," I seethed, shoving my journal under the pillow that wasn't currently my weapon, not removing my eyes from the grinning face in front of me.
"Good morning to you, too!" I growled when he grabbed either side of my face to plant a firm kiss to my forehead. Why the fuck was he a morning person? Why? I watched him plop down on the edge of his bed, still staring at me with those acid green eyes. "They are really good though." I sneered at him a little, laying back down and rolling over so I didn't have to see him. "With my looks and your skill, we can make millions!"
"Shut up." As usual, Axel laughed at my half-assed comeback. We both looked over when our door was opened almost immediately after our war and I was half expecting to be chewed out for being 'too loud' before our scheduled wake up time. I was surprised when I didn't hear Mrs. Hunt's voice, but a volunteer's who I had seen around the clinic a few times.
"Axel? There is a phone call for you… It's urgent." I rolled back over to look at Axel who seemed to have the exact amount of confusion on his face as I did. We weren't exactly supposed to be talking to anyone outside of the clinic, despite there only being a few weeks left now. It interfered with our 'healing.' Axel stood up without glancing at me and followed the volunteer out of the room.
I didn't see him for the rest of the morning. It reminded me of the time when I first got here, when he spent his whole day sitting in our room because of the withdrawals. For the first time in weeks, I ate breakfast alone. There was a time when I thought it would actually be a blessing to not have the gangly redhead sitting across from me, complaining about the food. I actually felt like some nerd at a school now. Singled out, eating alone in the cafeteria. I felt the eyes of a few addicts staring at me, probably curious on why I didn't have my towering shadow with me, and it made eating breakfast actually odd. I hadn't exactly noticed how accustomed I had become to have Axel with me almost 24/7. I actually felt… singled out. Like that loser kid in school who sat by themselves all the time. I couldn't take it anymore.
I stood up from the table, leaving the tray with my hardly touched food behind. I had an hour to kill before I had to talk to my wonderful counsellor who, by the way, claimed I was making great progress so I decided to shower or lounge in my room or do something to get away from the all too nosey eyes. Everything here was routine. Every day was the same and nothing changed, so, for the ones who didn't have totalled brains at least, when something different happened everyone wanted in on it. Like the missing, annoying redhead for example. I really didn't feel like being bombarded with all these prying questions I didn't even know the answer to. And believe me, I tried to get the answers.
Axel had left before 'wake up time' and still wasn't around before breakfast. I tried to snoop a bit by talking to some of the nurses or volunteers. Hey, I wasn't exactly concerned. Call it bored. As I said, nothing ever changed. Naturally, no one would tell me what was going on. 'Confidential' and all that. Would've been nice if Axel followed those rules instead of sniffing around things like my sketchbook. I assumed that, for whatever reason he was missing, it had to do with the phone call in the morning and, being a good little clinic attendee, I left it at that. Still, even though it wasn't my business, a part of me was wondering if Axel was okay. Axel didn't seem to be exactly close with any of his family members, so it couldn't be that. The phone call was urgent, so maybe it had something to do with the housing the clinic had set him up with? Whatever it was, he took his sweet time showing his face again.
The day continued on exactly like the first day. I was alone. I wasn't bothered. And, except for the prying and curious eyes, everything went the same as it did everyday. Just no Axel. Because I didn't know exactly what was happening to the guy, I couldn't help but feel a little relaxed through the day. It was horrible to say, but the break was nice. I mean, we did get rather 'intimate' just the night before, but I wasn't about to turn into some damsel waiting for her knight, missing him every aching moment. No. The night was the result of hormones and being constantly pestered by an attractive, sex crazy redhead. What exactly was supposed to happen? I'll admit, I was trying not to read into it too much, but what was there to read into, anyways? Yeah, Axel said he wanted a 'date' and to 'hang out' or whatever, but he got what he wanted now. Maybe that's why I was left alone all day. I'd be lying if I went to bed that night with a pit of bitterness in my stomach.
Maybe that was all he wanted…
I didn't see Axel again until that evening well after lights out. I wasn't exactly sleeping, my mind was keeping me up, so rude awakening I had to endure almost nightly and every morning didn't disturb me as much as it would had I been asleep. I made out Mrs. Hunt's silhouette in the doorway, a figure I could probably draw without reference as I've seen her so often because she seemed to be the only one willing to deal with Axel whenever he fucked up. Which was a lot. I saw the tall, lanky silhouette behind her, pushing its way past and over to the bed across the room. Axel. He didn't look my way when Hunt did, didn't make any comments, hell, he didn't say anything. He just walked over to his bed, plopping down face first, forgetting his blankets entirely. I sat up slowly, glancing at Mrs. Hunt who merely sighed as she stood at a loss at the foot of his bed. She whispered a few things to him and I could barely make out his voice which was muffled by his pillow, but from the sounds of things he wasn't exactly the happy Axel. He didn't even sound like Axel anymore.
After uttering a 'good night' to both of us, Mrs. Hunt left the room after turning out the lights, plunging the two of us into the darkness. Quiet, awkward darkness. I mean, did I try to comfort him? Did I ask what was wrong? Or would it be better to just go to sleep, ignore him, and pretend nothing was wrong? I knew Axel could snap. I knew he could get pissy when pushed towards things he really didn't want to be pushed towards. He was a stubborn asshole and I wasn't really feeling up to listening to him yell at me for trying to help. But, on the other hand, what if he needed to talk? What if he needed someone to listen…? My stomach was twisting inside of me as I tried looking at Axel through the darkness, attempting to find words to say or something to do. I couldn't exactly just leave him like this. I didn't need to sit with my thoughts much longer because Axel piped up, as if he could feel the tension in the air radiating from me and only me.
"What's your mum like…?" Axel was still face first in his pillow, his voice absolutely pitiful, but I managed to understand him all the same. I was a little dumbfounded at the seemingly random question, blinking through the night as I tried to find out what words to say. Nosey, overbearing, loud… I'm sure my mom had some good traits, but, given the current circumstances her and my father had put me in, it was hard to think of any.
"Uhm…" I tapped my fingers against the scratchy blankets as I laid back down, my brows knitting together in thought. "She's… protective?" Axel snorted quietly, obviously not pleased with my half assed answer. I smirked a little as I let out a small sigh, my brain attempting to squeeze out some redeeming qualities so I didn't have to bitch about her again to a guy who was already having a shit day. "I mean, don't get me wrong, she drives me fucking crazy, but at least I know she's trying to protect me or she's trying to give me the best. My dad not so much. Mom's the one who really takes over the parental stuff." I heard his bed groan under his weight as he shifted and stood up with a heavy sigh. I watched as Axel walked the short distance between our beds and I shrunk back a little on my bed still not exactly trusting the guy. I was half expecting him to pull some cheesy moves or molest me or something. I wasn't expecting him to wedge himself on what little room there was left on my bed and shut his eyes.
After about five minutes of silence, awkward silence, I licked my lips and rolled over onto my back. It didn't seem like he was going to be moving any time soon. Hell, he could've been asleep by now. Regardless, I asked, "Who called you…?" I caught a glimpse of that bright green when his eyes fluttered open a little before closing them again. He heaved a sigh and rolled over so his back was facing me instead.
"Mom."
Unsurprisingly, Axel didn't bother elaborating on that way too simple, one worded answer. I didn't try to force it out of him either, seeing no reason to anyways. Axel was as stubborn as he was persistent. So I left it at his word that didn't make any sense and went to sleep. The next day he was back to normal, as if his whole day of moping never happened. The remaining week and a bit, in fact, he was normal, if not getting more excited at each passing day. He didn't speak of it again.
"Get up!" Fabric smashed into my face and I was cursing the world instantly. I couldn't wait to actually get to sleep in for once. Or at least wake up normally instead of hearing some vomiting, screaming, or, in this case, throwing my clothes at me.
"Fucking hell!" I hollered, my blankets being ripped off my body and hands shaking me violently. Axel had reached his breaking point of excitement which, was conveniently, the day we got out. Thank god. "Axel, what the hell!?"
"We're leaving!" His face was terrifying. I mean, I've seen Axel happy, but that smile was bordering on manic. He tugged the shirt that he came here with on and threw my original clothes back at me again. "Get dressed!" I groaned tiredly, but I couldn't deny that I was glad to get out and got dressed, not even caring about the modesty at this point. Mainly because Axel was too busy rambling on about how we were finally done here and that he was never coming back and yadda yadda yadda. As soon as I finished zipping up my jeans I was forced into one of Axel's famous bone crushing hugs. "Just a few more minutes until Cunt opens this door and then we're free!"
"You're acting like they treat us like animals," I grumbled into his shoulder, trying to untangle myself from the long arms. Axel let me go with mock surprise on his face.
"You're telling me they didn't feed you kibble?" I rolled my eyes as he shot his hands up in the air dramatically, tossing his arm over his eyes. "They made me piss on newspaper, Roxy! Newspaper! Here I thought they treated everyone equally!"
"If you haven't noticed, they don't like you very much." Axel's act broke down and he slung his arm around my shoulders, giving me a shake.
"I'll have you know I'm a delight to be around!" He grinned at me, his body practically vibrating when the door in front of us was opened. Mrs. Hunt jumped a little at the redhead suddenly lunging at the small opening between her and the door frame, dragging me by the arm behind him.
"Axel!" He groaned loudly when his arm was yanked on by Mrs. Hunt, stopping him in his tracks. He whipped his head back to look at her, exasperation evidently on his face like a kid who had to wait to open his Christmas presents. "I don't want to see you ever again. Got it?" I frowned at the seemingly threatening words, but Axel's face split into a grin. I was never going to understand the relationship between the two, the one of hatred, concern, and more hatred. Either way, Axel wasn't offended and proceeded to drag me out into the lobby.
It seemed most of the addicts were lingering in the lobby, being reunited with their families or others, without families, walking out of the doors. It was a little overwhelming to say the least. I didn't see Aerith anywhere yet and I was assuming Axel didn't have anyone to pick him up. Hell, I didn't even know where he was going at this point. He didn't really talk about the housing program to me much and he didn't really mention our 'date' anymore, come to think of it. I felt a twinge of hurt in the pit of my stomach, thinking that this would be the last time I would see him and I couldn't help feeling a little betrayed after all the pestering he had done to get me to agree to hang out with him outside of the clinic. Maybe all he wanted was a bit of a blow job anyways. Fuck, I was stupid…
Axel nudged my ribs and ruffled my hair, noticing that I had zoned out. "Hey, you're not supposed to look disappointed." He smirked when I looked up at him and I forced a pathetic smile. "Do you not know what 'freedom' means? Isn't that your chick over there?" I followed the direction he was pointing and, sure enough, Aerith had just walked in through the doors, looking around before spotting me with a smile.
"Uh… Yeah… Yeah, that's Aerith," I managed to squeeze out, fumbling with my sleeves. "So, uh… bye?" I offered when Axel didn't say anything, waving a little at Aerith who was waiting for me ever so patiently. Axel rolled his eyes and reached over to the receptionist's desk he was leaning against and tossed a pen at me.
"A rich kid like you has to have a cell," He said with a quirk of his eyebrow, putting his hand towards me, palm facing up. "I'll give you a call whenever I get settled or whatever. Apparently I'm getting a phone of my very own!" I laughed a bit, mainly out of relief and shook my head, grabbing his hand to write down my number. The thought of him still actually wanting to talk at least lifted a weight off my shoulders that I was surprised was even there. "Ah, Roxy. It's an honour to have your digits." With a wink, he grabbed my face like he always did (but in private for the most part) and kissed my forehead. "Get going."
With a heated face, I waved awkwardly at Axel and headed over to Aerith who suffocated me in a hug. I was bombarded with questions that received short, clipped answers because I really didn't know how to answer them. How was it? Fine. How are you feeling? Fine. Are you happy to be done with it? Yes. Was everything okay? Yes. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I just wanted to go home now and not deal with this anymore. In fact, forget about it I guess. Because I was out, the whole time I spent in that clinic just felt like a dream now. It felt like it didn't even happen.
Thank god.
I stretched out in the familiar car and sighed, resting my face on the window as Aerith began to drive. She gave up on the small talk for now, happily humming along with the radio. I was glad she didn't get offended like my mother, understanding that I just didn't talk too much when I didn't want to. Not because I had something against her. About fifteen minutes into the drive, she spoke up again.
"Who was that boy?" I rubbed my eyes, blushing again as I realized she probably saw the whole awkward forehead kiss Axel gave.
"My roommate. He's uh… affectionate," I tried to offer coolly, rolling my eyes at her little smirk. I knew she was teasing, but seriously.
"Oh…" Aerith nodded her head, glancing over at me. "He certainly did seem a little cozy with you. What was he in for?" I heaved a sigh and slumped into my seat, feeling a bit of a lecture coming on. She was adamant on telling me not to exactly make friends there, knowing that so many of them turned back to drugs. The last thing I needed was to be seen with some druggy. She wasn't about to ban me or anything, but it still didn't mean I wanted to hear it. Axel was, genuinely, a nice, but annoying, guy. I didn't exactly want to hear about how bad he was.
"Heroin." I kept the answer simple, but honest. I didn't need to start lying, but I didn't need to give out everything at once. It wasn't her business. None of it was, really. I could feel my defensive walls being put up even if I didn't want them to. She didn't know Axel and, by the nod of her head, I could tell that she was thinking how she knew enough Axels to lecture me on this one.
"Just… be careful…" I nodded to keep her happy, but she continued. "Heroin is nasty, Roxas. I mean it… Be careful." She sighed and pushed her hair back as she stopped at a red light. "I'm sure he's nice, but if he goes back to drugs, you don't want to be around him. Especially if he's 'affectionate,'" she cleared her throat and my face flared up again when the light turned green. I knew was she was hinting at. "And you get 'affectionate' back… They don't always use clean needles…" That certain night came flooding back into my mind and I felt a lump rise in my throat along with my stomach giving a sickening lurch. A certain night that actually lacked a key thing that we all learn in high school about safe sex. Condoms.
I'm a fucking idiot.
A/N: Omg! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, lovelies! For those of you who are still kicking around! I'm sorry it took so long for a new chapter, but school's a bitch. But I told myself, I said "BETTY. YOU GET YOUR ASS INTO GEAR AND GIVE A CHRISTMAS PRESENT!" So… it's kinda rushed and shitty, BUT IT'S DONE! I love you all, I love all your reviews, favourites, and follows. Means a lot to me. 3 3 Have a wonderful day!