Damnit Ed, how could you! They're Kankers! No good for guys like us!

These thoughts and others like them swam through Eddy's head as he followed his gangly pal and his new lady friend. She had to be up to something, rarely was a kanker after an Ed without some ulterior motive. As he rounded a corner they had disappeared behind, he ran smack dab into Ed's chest, nearly giving him a good headbutt in the process.

"Why are you following us Eddy?"

Eddy grinned his sly grin, "Just making sure you're alright Lumpy. Can't be too sure with a Kanker around."

Ed, as thick-headed as he could be sometimes, caught on to the implied malice, "Wow Eddy, maybe you're right. Kanker's can be quite scary."

May giggled, "As scary as a bunny, right Ed?"

He laughed along with her, "Bunny's aren't scary May."

Eddy didn't catch the elbow that she threw into Ed's side, nor the lovey-dovey look that Ed threw at her. He grabbed at Ed's arm, and Ed jerked it back, "What is wrong with you Eddy?"

"She's a KANKER! What has gotten into you!"

Ed glared at Eddy, then yelled, "BACK OFF EDD-AY!"

Back off Eddy did, then he began to get angry, "She gives you a piece of buttered toast and now you're her slave?! What the hell?!"

Ed glared at him before following May into the classroom. Eddy stared after him aghast, then stalked off to attend to his own classes. Between periods he looked for either Double-D or Ed, but he saw neither hide nor tail of either of them. As the day wore on he grew less irritated and more worried. Unusual behavior aside, it was unlike his friends to just leave him be. At the end of the day, his worries came to fruition when a thrice folded note fell from the door of his opened locker.

Eddy,

If you care about your friends at all, you'll come to the janitor's closet in the basement of the school. Bring flowers.

-The Kankers

At the bottom of the note was bright red lipstick, and Eddy had a sneaking suspicion that it was the eldest of the Kankers that had left the impression upon the paper. He knew that they were up to no good, and yet Ed wouldn't listen. On top of that, Double-D had been dragged into this whole thing as well. It didn't bode well, but he was their hero, and now was his time to do his duty for his friends.

Hours passed, nervous energy coursing through his body, giving him the shakes and subsequent doubts that accompanied every bout with the Kankers. After building up the courage (with the help of a few hefty drinks) to go to the school after hours, he found himself facing the dark steps to what he was certain to be his doom. After a few trembling steps down the stairwell, he found himself insulted by his own cowardice.

Damnit Eddy, He thought, It's time to stop being afraid. You're a man, like your older brother."

With that thought he descended the rest of those stairs with a false confidence, then busted through the door with enough false bravado to impress Kevin.

"Alright Kanker's, where're Ed and Double D!"

Lights sprung to life, revealing Double D standing arm in arm with Marie, and Ed holding hands with May. Between the two of them stood Lee with a single mason jar filled with quarters, a sad look on her face.

"What the hell is going on here!?"

Lee moved forward, "Eddy…"

He glared at Ed and Double D, confused by the happy looks on their faces, "What are you two doing?"

Double D stepped forward, "We're sorry Eddy, but we're happy here."

Eddy bristled, "What does that have to do with me?! What the hell are you two doing scheming with these…these demons?!"

Double D bristled back, "Damnit Eddy, quit being such a jerk!"

Before anything more could be said, Eddy walked back out of the room, trying to escape the feeling of betrayal he felt rising in his stomach. He tried to rationalize it, but the images of one being arm in arm and the other holding hands nearly drove him mad, so he began his walk home. Behind him he heard a set of footfalls, but it wasn't until he was nearly home that the jingle of change turned him around. There Lee stood, an uncharacteristic look of vulnerability in her single visible green eye.

"What do you want Kanker."

She hesitated, and Eddy felt his stomach squirm when she answered, "I want to say I'm sorry Eddy. I was trying to say that all along, every time you saw me with this jar of quarters through the years, but you never listened. Do you remember how I came by these?"

He ruminated bitterly on the experience, "Yea, I do remember it, and I remember everything you took from me in the years after that, including my pride."

She shook her head, "All I wanted was for you to notice me, to listen. This was the only jar I ever took. The rest I put in a bank account signed under both my name and my mama's. I still have everything I ever took from you Eddy. I knew you'd spend it on somethin stupid like jawbreakers, so I stepped up and did what I thought was right."

He stepped up to her, now standing a full head taller than his nemesis, "Oh? And what about all the misery you caused me Lee? Remember all the times you humiliated me? All the bullshit I had to go through before I finally made a name for myself other than scamming? Because I do. What makes you think I'll believe or even CARE about your apologies and supposed love? Why should I even listen to you?!"

For once, Eddy felt guilt as he watched her begin to cry. "Because everything I ever did, I did because I cared. When I first met you I admit I did you wrong; but Eddy, we were young and stupid. Think about it, ever since that first day I've looked out for you."

Eddy kept walking, now within range of his door, "That's called stalking."

She stepped up behind him, "Eddy, please."

In all his years of being tormented, that was the one word he had never heard from any of the sisters, let alone Lee. He looked at her, "Fine. You have two minutes."

She stammered, taken aback by his abrupt change of attitude, "I've been there from the beginning, and I've never found anyone else to care about." He looked unimpressed, "I've saved every bit of change that I've ever taken from you."

"Yea? What does that total up to? Ten bucks?"

She bowed her head, "The point was is that I didn't spend it. I felt bad."

He advanced on her again, now growing irritated, "If you actually felt bad you wouldn't have meddled!"

She shoved him away, "And where would you be if I hadn't meddled? Ed would probably be Kevin's best friend right now after that popularity stunt you pulled, but I put a stop to that! In fact, both of your friends probably wouldn't still be with you if it wasn't for us driving you three together! I've always done what I thought was right by you!"

Eddy felt smaller as she jabbed her finger into his chest. It was beginning to click as she continued her rant, "Apparently you're too good for me though! You'd rather resign yourself to chasing after a girl that is to empty-headed to appreciate what you can do! The only other girl in this god-forsaken cul-de-sac is a psychopathic fourteen-year-old that is spoiled beyond anything either of us could even imagine! Are you telling me that you're going to spend the next few years chasing after a dream for nothing!?" She threw the jar on the ground, silver and tears glinting off the golden sun as they bounced away from the impact. She stalked away, anger and hurt etched into her face.

Eddy regarded the change, not only on the ground, but going on inside his chest as well. His feet began to move before anything truly set in, and before he knew it he was holding Lee against his chest.

"I'm sorry Lee." He said, and she looked up at him with make-up running down her face, her pretty curls now fly-aways, "Don't ask me why I'm doing this, I'm just going off my gut."

"This better not be some kind of sc-"

Her furious sentence was cut off by Eddy's mouth, and she threw her arms around his neck. She had been wrong all along. Eddy didn't want the money, he just wanted someone to acknowledge that he wasn't a failure. She felt so happy, and yet so stupid all at the same time.

From a distance two other happy couples watched as Eddy and Lee kissed in front of the setting sun.

Double D said, "One cannot truly understand the mind until they understand the heart."

Marie grinned, "Whatever that meant, I agree."

May smiled, "Took her long enough."

Ed laughed, "It's like watching toast being buttered."

Eddy looked at all of them, "Get out of here will ya!"

And Lee added in, "Yea, can't you see we's trying to have some private time over here!"

And thus ends this three-part of the Eds and the Kankers. I'm sorry for the somewhat lame ending (It's been so long since I watched this show, I was finding it difficult to keep them in character), I might write an epilogue at a future date, but for now this is finished. I hope you enjoyed it, please leave your comments and suggestions for future EEnE fiction!

-Shaggy Donahugh