You guys, Please do not kill me. I am so sorry but it had to be done. I'm scared now. I seriously did not want to post this chapter up. I am so sorry...~Angie

Chapter 20

Spring break, definition; A week or more of recess during the spring term at school. At least that is what the dictionary says. Spring break always meant something else to Sollux. It wasn't a time of happiness and silly trips to Hawaii in hopes of getting a tan. Spring break was a hard memory slap to the face resulting in sleepless nights fighting backs sobs muffled by a pillow. Remembering a mother he no longer had. Cursing the day she died.

This year, it would be harder. He could already tell by a quick glance at his fathers smiling face. Usually they would walk to the cemetery and just sit under the tree revering her smiling face. Sometimes when his dad was at work he would go down there with his friends. Mituna at his side wondering why Sollux was crying over a silly stone. It seemed as if he became the only one to be connected with her. First, his twin lost memories of her. Next, his father remarried. Maybe it was time for him to move on as well.

Sollux grimaced at the thought, quickly jotting down the last answer on his final. Reading through his answers one more time, fixing the ones he realized he got wrong, he stands up and hands the paper to his teacher. Going back to his desk he pulls out his laptop and goes straight to work on his coding for another 15 minutes until the bell rings signaling school over until after spring break. Letting out a small grain, Sollux makes his way to his locker, pulling out all the stuff he had in their. He always cleaned out his locker at the end of the term. Making it so it was easier to do at the end of the year.

While pulling his shit out, a hand wraps around his waist and from one glance at the many rings covering it, Sollux knows exactly who it is. Not carrying about what people might say he turns around and softly plants a kiss on his boyfriend's lips. Pulling away quickly to stare back at his locker in despair. Eridan sighs, kissing his cheeks.

"Sol, is evverythin alright? You havve been lookin a bit more somber lately." Sollux sighs, leaning his head against the locker.

"The day my mom died ith coming up. I mith her so fucking much. And to add to everything, Aradia won't answer any of my callth or textth and everyone jutht theemth to buthy for me back home. Their textth are short and when I athk them what's wrong they thay not to worry and thtupid thit like that.." Eridan nods in understanding, kissing his neck lightly.

"Wwanna go to Neww York to vvisit them?" Sollux turns around to face him, a smile forming on his lips for the first time that week. Pulling out his phone he scrolls through his contacts starting to type out a message to Karkat.

"Thoundth like a fantathtic idea. I'm just gonna text KK to let him know and then tell dad and Tuna. Maybe one of them would like to come ath we-" Eridan covers his phone screen, pulling the device out of his hands.

"They already knoww. Karkat texted me and told me that it wwould be best for you to come to Neww York during spring break to feel the most support. I had a housekeeper pack your bags and Condie bought tickets and stuff already." Sollux grins, pulling him into a tight hug. Before rushing out the school building and into their awaiting limo. Heading straight to the airport.

The flight seemed way to long. Eridan sleeping with his head on his lap, his hand stroking his blonde hair while thoughts ran to memories of his friends.

Karkats albino white hair and unusual red eyes that sometimes creeped people out. His loud voice that held creative profanity. The way he would grab at his hair when he got frustrated. His silly obsession with romantic movies. The was he would speak words along with the characters because he had seen the movies so many times.

Kanaya's bright orange hair that she had to tame every morning. Her smart remarks and lack of humor. The way she behaved when someone got hurt. Like a mother trying to protect her kin. The way she scolded him when he chose colors that did not march as his wear for the day.

The soft mohawk that Tavros always had. His immobile legs playing no role against his happy mood. The silly wheelchair that he sat in that they had to find creative ways to carry. The way he smiled innocently and the adorable stutter that he had. His strong upper body and the way he could beat almost anyone in an arm wrestle.

Gamzee, the crazy one in their group. The funny words he said while high. That lazy look in his eyes that filled with love whenever he glanced at his boyfriend. Those crazy nights when he did not hesitate to share his shit with him. The long talks they had while under the influence.

Sweet Aradia. Her long red hair whipped by the wind as she stands on a cliff. The dark clothes she always wore contrasting her bright red make up. The light laugh that she had when he told her a joke. The sweet smile she held when he was troubled by something. Her obsession with old ruins and archaeology.

Sollux sighs, shaking Eridan awake as they begin to land. He should have felt excited. But for some reason he could not force himself to smile. Letting the feeling go as perhaps tiredness from the flight, Sollux makes his way. Through the airport to the greeting area. Letting go of Eridans hand when he spots his idiot of a best friend, who he pulls into a tight hug. Resulting in hearing several creative cuss words and a small beating.

He then realizes that Kankri is standing next to his younger brother. Which he almost has no time to question when he is pulled away from the airport and into a car. Karkat sitting next to him in the back while Eridan and Kankri settle down in the front. He notices the saddened frown on his best friends lips, and the reddening around his nose and eyes that indicated him crying. He opens his mouth to ask him what was wrong but gets interrupted by Kankri, known for his hour long lectures.

"It's a pleasure to see you again Sollux. Has certainly been a while and I hope you are doing well in your school work and I have no doubt that you passed your finals with excellent grades. I hope over the months your triggers haven't changed and for the current moment I will be using them let me know if a new triggering topic has been added to your list so that I avoid it at all costs. Speaking of triggers, Eridan I have yet to head what yours are. In case you don't know like so many people in this world don't, triggers are topics in conversations that offend or bring up memories that you do not wish to get brought up. I will let you think about your triggers but for the current moment, I will just congratulate you and Sollux on being together for four months now. Speaking of relationships I also have gotten into a relationship recently. I'm not trying to state any triggering statements and apologies if this triggers you in any way but my relationship unlike yours is straight. I-" he continues to drone on, Sollux getting lost at the fact that he was in a relationship. Clearing his throat, he sets his language to somewhat that of how Kankri spoke.

"My apologieth for interrupting you but didn't you thwear to, apologieth if thith triggerth you, Thelibathy?" Karkat let's out a loud groan and Kankri smiles.

"Yes I did have an act of celibacy that I was following for a long time but there are times when new decisions are made and old acts dropped to accept new ones." Sollux nods, opening a bottled water.

"Do I get a name or will this beautiful woman of yours remain a complete mystery?" Kankri laughs.

"If course sorry about forgetting to mention her name earlier. It's Porrim Maryam." Sollux chokes on his water, letting out a sputtered cough.

"Holy crap your dating Kanaya'th thlutty thithter?" He realizes his words a little to late as Kankri swerves to the side of the road and turns around in his seat to face him. His face reddening with anger.

"Porrim Maryam is not a fucking slut! You have no fucking right to fucking call her that! You don't know her! You don't know her story! So stop fucking judging her by her fucking appearance!" Holy shit yelling and cussing definitely does run in the family. He opens his mouth to say something back when Karkat cuts in, slapping his brothers face in the process.

"Can you fucking shut the fucking hell up for a fucking second!? I swear the only fucking thing you do is move your mouth all day! You're like a fucking robot programmed to talk shit all day! I swear if you say another fucking word I am going to make sure to chip your tongue out and stitch your mouth together!" Kankri impediment lay shuts up, driving back into the road. Karkat glaring at the back of his head before turning to stare out the window.

The rest of the drive is silent, Sollux texting Eridan to pass the time. The silence stretching forever. As soon as the car stops he bolts out, stopping dead in his tracks at the realization of where they arrived. The graveyard. The place his mother was buried. Swallowing a lump that has formed in his throat he let's out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. Karkat walks over to him, gently taking his hand. Leading him into the fenced off area. Eridan taking his other hand, offering him a reassuring smile.

They slowly make their way through the burial grounds. At first heading in the direction of the willow tree that he planted next to his mothers grave. Then getting pulled to the side. Lead someplace else completely. He does not say anything. Just letting his confusion grow.

They stop at a fresh mound. Somewhat alive flowers scattered over the dirt. He stare at in in complete confusion until he looks at the newly placed gravestone. His blood running cold. A loud 'No' escaping his lips. Karkat comes up behind him. Placing his hand on his shoulder which he shrugs off almost immediately.

"No. Fucking to hell no. I don't believe it. Thith ith fake. KK pleathe tell me that itth fake!" His voice rising with anger and desperation as he grabs his best friends shoulders. Searching for answers in his red eyes.

"I'm sorry Sollux. It's true" He frantically shakes his head. Letting go of him.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!?" Eridan steps in, wrapping his hands around his waist.

"I asked them not to. You had finals and shit and I kneww that you wwould wwant to come here. Please don't be mad at me." Sollux chokes down a sob. A tear escaping his eyes. He pulls away from his boyfriends hold, kneeling at the grave.

"I can't fucking believe it" Karkat nods, kneeling down next to him.

"None of us can." Another tear falls. Then another.

"How did it fucking happen?" Karkat takes a deep breath next to him.

"She was shot. The police are still trying to figure out who did it." He chokes on another sob. Shutting into himself. Muttering gibberish under his breath. Denying it. Praying that this was some messed up dream.

Standing up quickly he takes off. He needed to talk to someone. Someone who would listen to him. Someone who always does. Collapsing onto his knees at the familiar gravestone he lets out a sob.

"Why mom. Why? Why did this shit have to happen? Why? Firtht you, now her. I can't take thith anymore-" he chokes, pressing his face against the cold stone. No longer caring to talk. Just crying.

Karkat finds him after a while. Silently pulling him to his feet. Helping him walk to the car and get in. Sollux did not notice. Lost deep in his head. Tears continuing to fall. The name written on the stone echoing in his mind.

Aradia.