Pairing: Jeff/Annie
Spoilers: Through the finale of Season 4, and the steak dinner that Jeff's been waiting 4 years for...and got Tweeted.
Word Count: 2561
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Disclaimer: If I owned Community, you'd all probably absolutely hate it.
Author's Notes: I take liberties with character's motivations and thoughts...but that's kind of the name of the game if you're going to write fan fiction. I try as hard as I can to stay within the limits of the developed character though. This chapter carries warnings for extreme sappiness and extra fluff.
Remedial Studies in 360 Degree Revolutions (Full Circle)
Chapter 3
"Seriously, Jeff? The Dean's office?"
"You obviously have no clue why we're here…which, honestly, isn't surprising."
"Nope. None. So, care to enlighten me? After telling me that you didn't avoid humiliating me at that hotel…I'm fascinated about what you and the Dean may have cooked up that you need to apologize for."
Jeff looked down at the brunette who, between surrendering a full head on him, as well as a significant amount of shoulder width, really WAS roughly half his size. She'd clung to him the whole walk here from the Study Room, and kept saying that she thought she saw something out of the corners of her eyes, which was causing her to be extremely frightened and agitated.
This, along with lack of sleep (It was getting pretty late, and they'd had a FULL day,) as well as any alcohol she'd had that night being completely out of her system was leading to a personality shift Jeff had always privately referred to as "Ms. Not-In-Control-Of-The-Situation-And-Everyone-In-It Crankypants Edison."
Of course, he'd never said it out loud…and tonight DEFINITELY wasn't the night to start doing so. Tonight was about setting things right between them, and getting everything in the open…not starting NEW conflicts. Plenty of time for that down the road, he figured.
"Well, Ms. Crankypants (what the hell…calling her that will probably bug her less than the out of control dig anyway,) it so happens that I brought you here to talk to you about what happened our first day back this year. Remember, New Jeff vs. Old Jeff, and you calling me selfish?"
She sat back on the Dean's desk, giving Jeff a dirty look, obviously the new nickname he'd graced her with hadn't gone unnoticed.
"Of course I remember. Kind of hard to forget how you threw a wrench in senior year for all of us. Is THAT what you're apologizing for?"
"Annie, I thought I explained it earlier…tonight isn't JUST about apologies. It's about making things right, and total honesty. Sometimes that entails more of an explanation than an apology. And I hate to put this kind of pressure on you, especially since I think you're not in the best frame of mind right now…but this HAS to happen tonight, and I'm going to have to ask for your participation this time around."
Annie was starting to feel slightly intrigued, slightly pensive about this new twist.
"What does my participation consist of?"
"We'll get to that. Just try to keep an open mind."
Annie just set her face in stone, her mouth a solid, stoic line across her face.
"ANYWAY, Ms. Pouty ("Jeff, stop with the new nicknames!") do you remember what you were doing in here when I was in the…(Jeff had to steel himself to even say the name of the competition…the Dean had REALLY started getting ridiculous in his forced Dean puns) Hunger Deans?"
"Yes, Shirley and I were pulling a senior prank. I thought it'd be funny to move the Dean's stapler a couple of inches…" Annie trailed off as she realized how ridiculous that sounded, and mumbled "I'd like to say that I guess I'd never said it out loud before…but that isn't even true."
Jeff just smirked at her "Remind me not to ever put you in charge when Abed decides he wants us to do a reboot of Punk'd."
"Ok, I get it! Your point, Jeff?"
"Right. I came in to tell you something while you were in the middle of your HIL-arious prank. Do you remember what it was?"
"Yes, you said you had a red ball for one of us. You had gotten six of them, remember? You were only one short, and then Leonard took all your ba…" Annie trailed off, realizing that she'd nearly inadvertently stuck her foot in her mouth.
"First of all, nice catch, and second, you're on the right trail, Detective Edison ("Ok, that one I like."), but not quite. I said I had YOUR red ball. It was only the second one I had won, and it was for you, not you or Shirley…YOU. Do you get what I'm driving at here, Annie?"
Annie allowed herself to feel a twinge of hope, but couldn't bring herself to say yes, having been batted down by Jeff's attitude of "You're seeing things that aren't there" time after time.
"Sorry Jeff, you're going to have to make it more clear to me…remember your own rules. Full disclosure tonight, right?"
Jeff didn't even look regretful when she played the rules card on him. Annie was a little bit shocked. Either he had expected her to do that, or he didn't care…and if he didn't care, it was probably because he was emotionally distant from the situation. Annie felt the little twinge of hope in her chest die like a guttering flame.
"Fine…they're my rules, and I'll follow them. I got YOU that second red ball because I got the first one for me. I REALLY needed that history credit, for obvious reasons. And of course I wanted to get the whole group in that class. Over the last four years, that's been what we've done, and it's proven to be very, very important to me. Before we got together, I really didn't have anyone in my life. You already knew this though. I had no family to speak of, which I'm sure you're familiar with, and really no friends. You and the rest of the group have become both to me. But, more than anyone else…I wanted YOU in that class with me. If I had only managed to win the two red balls, I wanted to make sure that the second would have gone to you."
Annie started to feel the twinge of hope in her chest reignite…but then the snotty voice she remembered from earlier overlaid her thoughts "Of COURSE he wanted YOU in the class…remember when you were Biology partners? Remember what he said?!" Annie just plain couldn't hold back…
"Of course you wanted me in that class…remember? Good grade in a tight sweater?" she sneered at him.
"Ok, I deserved that, I admit, but SERIOUSLY Annie…it's The History of Ice Cream. I realize I'm health-conscious, but I'm pretty confident in my sundae building abilities."
Annie stood up, and, arms still folded, turned away from him, and walked around the side of the Dean's desk.
"So, if it wasn't for my notes, then why?"
"Well, Annie, I won't deny that your impeccable notes are ALWAYS welcome…asarethetightsweaters." Jeff mumbled out the last part…praying she didn't key into it. Annie, for her part, just cocked an eyebrow, which Jeff couldn't even see.
"But honestly, Annie…you have to understand, if I'm going to have to pick ONE person out of the group to get to spend time with, most of the time, it's going to be you. Don't get me wrong…Britta is a great drinking buddy, and no one can take verbal abuse like her. Abed is a blast to hang out with, depending on what he's been watching recently. Troy is the guy who I know will ALWAYS have my back, as long as I haven't been a jackass recently, and anyone that doesn't recognize the value of that is a fool. And Shirley is quite possibly one of my favorite people in the world, and one of the few people who scares the living bejeezus out of me on a regular basis.
But none of them are you."
Jeff paused, just for a minute to let that sink in. He hadn't planned on Winger speeching her here…he'd thought she'd grasp the purpose of his admission that the second ball was for her off the bat, so he was unprepared. This one was straight from the heart.
"None of them are you, and you're the person I want to DO things with. That's why I would pick you first for a class with limited seating, or why I wanted to go skiing with you, or even why I wanted to do a paired Halloween costume. Because I enjoy doing things with you, and JUST you. I like doing things with the group, but sometimes 7 is a crowd, right? Troy and Abed have their adventures…and I like the ones you and I have together."
Annie wasn't sure what to think about this admission…it was jarring, to say the least. Back in the study room, Jeff had admitted he'd thought about life together with her, as a couple. Now he was saying…well, what WAS he saying?
"Jeff, what are you saying?"
"Ok, still not there yet? I'll put it bluntly. Annie, you know everyone in the study group, aside from being 'family' are also all my friends, right?" Annie, now facing him just nodded blankly…still unsure of how to react to this.
"Well, I've come to realize that you aren't just my friend. You're by far, my best friend. And YES, this makes me a bit of a 14 year old girl now…but just know now that I'm never checking us into a hotel as Jeff Winger + bestie."
Annie was slightly stunned. Jeff's body language was completely open…his arms down at his sides, palms cupped barely in front of him…almost in supplication. Slowly, Annie realized that he really WAS following the rules he'd set down for the evening. This was Jeff being totally honest with her. The mere idea that he would find that kind of bond with her, after all this time caused tears of happiness to well up. Annie realized that despite all the love she'd found in this ersatz family, she'd never had anyone give her the label of 'best friend.' Pierce had referred to her as his favorite, but that wasn't quite the same…it was affectionately diminutive. Being Jeff's best friend made them peers.
"Annie, I really didn't mean to make you cry. This was supposed to be a good thing. Unless those are the good kind of girl tears…I'm WAY more used to the bad kind, so I can't really recognize the good ones."
Annie just sniffled a bit, realizing that she was full on weeping.
"Yes, Jeff…they're the good kind. I'm sorry, it's been an emotional 24 hours. You see, aside from some guy telling me that he'd unintentionally humiliated me a few months ago by pretending we were a married couple, then playing dumb when he found out I'd done the same…well, I watched my best friend graduate today. It was kind of a big deal."
Annie really couldn't see through her tears, but wasn't at all surprised when she felt Jeff's arms wrap around her, pulling her in for a warm hug, and stroking her hair as she rested her head against his chest…just listening to his steady heartbeat. It was a moment that she never, ever wanted to end, despite the fact that for what had seemed like forever, she'd wanted a deeper relationship with this man, she was content with him just holding her, and making her feel safe and secure. It didn't even matter that it was in the Dean's office, and not somewhere more personal and intimate, like his bed…or even his couch. She just drank in his smell, and his warmth, reveling in every sensation.
After an eternity, or mere moments, Annie pulled slightly back, not wanting to break the hug, but wanting to be able to talk to Jeff.
"Can I ask a question now?"
"Of course."
"I really don't want to sound like a…b-word, but if you want to do things with me so bad, why'd you back out on the Halloween party? Did I screw up my costume THAT much?"
Jeff just chuckled at this idea, "No, Annie…your costume was great. I still maintain you'd make an AMAZING sexy ring girl, but your Ring Girl was creepy as hell. Spot on."
She de-tensed a bit at this little bit of validation that just hadn't ever come after that night. Score another for Jeff…he really WAS making her feel better. Still, it was only fair she share a little now.
"Jeff, you know that prank? Originally, I told the group I was planning on pulling those as part of having senioritis. Shirley immediately volunteered to help, but honestly…I had wanted to do them with you. I'm sure you can figure this out, but I should say it…I like doing things with you too. I was just worried that I'd pushed you away enough when things weren't going EXACTLY as I'd planned that whenever the slightest thing went wrong, you'd look for an excuse to back out of doing something we'd planned."
He took a breath, and sighed it out.
"No, you see, I blame that night on the same people I usually get to blame things on. Britta and Pierce."
Annie playfully swatted at his chest with that. It was typical of him to try to push the blame on the two of them.
"No, seriously! And don't smack my chest…I have sensitive nipples. (Jeff actually started to slightly flush at this, and Annie had to suppress a giggle…not well.) Anyway, between Pierce's mind games due to his own daddy issues, and Britta's attempts to 'therapize' me, and her total Brittaing of it, I'd just had enough. I already had a lot on my mind, and it all came to a head that night. I'd been thinking a lot about my dad lately…and my costume was even something of a silent nod to him. The boxing gloves I had that night…had been his, and they were starting to feel like lead weights..."
Annie knew…just KNEW her eyes were getting to Disney levels of ridiculous wideness, but she couldn't help it, this was too cute to be believed.
Jeff looked down at her for a moment, and quickly looked back up and ahead. He knew that if he spent much time looking at those eyes, he'd be screwed. He was doing his level best to open up to her tonight…but those eyes just made him feel TOO vulnerable. He sighed, and went on.
"Anyway, I knew I wanted to do a costume WITH you, and this really just kinda fit. And then you agreed, which was a shocker, considering how ring girls dress…but I wasn't about to push the issue…"
"And in retrospect, maybe you should have?" Annie started biting her lip while she looked up at him.
"Honestly, Annie…it's a nice fantasy, but I have the feeling the night would have gone VERY differently had you dressed the way I had planned…and it may not have turned out the best for either of us." Jeff pulled a now very confused Annie back in to the tighter hug they'd slightly loosened earlier so they could talk.
"C'mon…we've got a lot left to do tonight, and time's wasting."
Wait…what? She was befuddled. One minute he gives her the title of being his best friend, the next he's saying things would have gone badly if she'd dressed like the sexy ring girl that HE had wanted. What WAS his end game here?
"Wait…Jeff, we're going back out? I'm still a bit freaked out by this empty campus at night."
He just grinned back at her, "Hey, I don't let anything happen to my friends. You know that."
With a mixture of faith and apprehension, she took his offered elbow once more as they left the Dean's office.
But one last thought nagged at the back of her brain as they entered the hallway again…had she just been friendzoned?!