Pairing: Jeff/Annie
Spoilers: Through the finale of Season 4, and the steak dinner that Jeff's been waiting 4 years for...and got Tweeted.
Word Count: 4391
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Disclaimer: If I owned Community, you'd all probably absolutely hate it.
Author's Notes: I take liberties with character's motivations and thoughts...but that's kind of the name of the game if you're going to write fan fiction. I try as hard as I can to stay within the limits of the developed character though.

Annie sat in the dark cafeteria, staring daggers at Jeff, who sat across the table from her. About 10 minutes ago, they would have likely slid into the booth side by side, holding hands, and passing coy glances.

As of about 5 minutes ago, that ended, and since then, Annie's demeanor towards Jeff had been nothing short of icy.

For his part at least, Jeff knew what he did. He had been trying out this whole "honesty and disclosure" thing, and when he told Annie how important she was to him, it had been the cherry on the goopy, affection-y sundae that had been slowly building all night. She had kissed him, and he, both startled, and not ready to kiss her, had not responded by returning her kiss. No, instead he pulled away, and told her that they 'couldn't.'

Dumb move for a guy who had repeatedly done the romantic equivalent of Lucy snatching a football away from Charlie Brown just prior to a kick, whether inadvertent or not. If Annie had a spot at her side of the table where she kept a running tally of anything, it would undoubtedly be "Winger Letdowns."

All this because he just had to make sure he had gone through everything…because he wanted to be in control of the situation, and make sure Annie had all the information before either one of the committed to anything. Because he just had to be in the driver's seat, and couldn't let a naturally affectionate woman who he just so happened to be crazy about express her feelings for him before he deemed it time.

Smooth move.

His stream of consciousness was too erratic for him to focus. He could feel his heart pounding, and could hear the ocean in his ears, waves synchronized with his pulse. Above the mental cacophony, he heard once voice begin to dominate. That familiar, nasty, raspy voice.

"So…you know, shit like this is how cynics are born. You keep breaking her little heart, and eventually she'll be too bitter and jaded to care. She'll be numb to the world, and fighting back against people who haven't even attacked her yet. And it'll be YOUR. FAULT. Let's keep it up, Winger. Help her get ready for the real world, so she isn't devoured when she gets out there. It's the only way she'll survive."

Was it though?

Jeff was getting more and more used to ignoring this darker side of himself. He could actively recognize it a fair portion of the time, and often argue it down. It was the part of him that had controlled his life from right around his parent's divorce until he finally realized that the group was more than just a way to try to get into Britta's pants. It was the portion of his personality that didn't want to care, or help others, just wanted to use and exploit. It was the part of himself that he had mostly managed to dispel, little by little…but he also had to realize that it would always be a part of him, even if he didn't let it rule him.

He didn't want to turn Annie into Britta. That's exactly what he'd be doing if he managed to make her cynical and bitter. Britta and he were similar in that both of them metaphorically shot first and asked questions later. He couldn't let that happen to Annie, and he certainly couldn't handle being the cause of it.

"Annie, do you know why we're here?"

Annie just rolled her eyes at him, clearly tired of the game they'd been playing all evening. "Well, Jeff…this is the cafeteria. I'm guessing at some point you probably said something nasty about my food, or something, right?"

Swing and a miss, Annie. At least she was BAD at being bitter…her verbal jabs weren't even clever.

"No, Annie…we're here because while an absolutely inordinate amount of activities take place here, thanks to our resident 'terrible Dean' feeling a compulsion to throw five dances a year…there's one time I want to talk about. I've always thought of it as the time that 'my Annie' beat the 'other Annie.'"

Annie blushed…feeling herself soften towards Jeff. She was still irate, but she also remembered how Jeff had used those exact terms for herself and Annie Kim back during the Model UN-off. Calling her 'his' Annie came across as affectionate, rather than possessive. It wasn't enough to make her throw herself at him, but she would never argue that it wasn't nice to feel wanted…even if it was wholly platonic.

"You mean the time you told me I was acting like a schoolgirl, and not in a hot way?" she poked at him, keeping her tone frosty. He was still on her bad list, even if he'd scored a couple of points since getting there.

"Annie, I'm not going to bullshit you. That fit you threw was embarrassing and unbecoming, especially for you."

"What…I'm held to a higher standard than everyone else?"

Jeff caught her eye directly, and stared her down. "Yeah, you are. Because you're better than everyone else. You know it, I know it, the rest of the group knows it, the rest of the damn school knows it."

"I'm not sure how to take that, Jeff."

"Take it how you want. Fact of the matter is…I'm not going to minimize anyone else's problems, but you've had more than your fair share, and you've probably dealt with them better than anyone else. Shirley and Abed are probably the next best…but you've got them both beat."

Annie was lost. "Jeff, what are you talking about? I haven't had THAT many problems."

Jeff actually looked mad, leading to Annie cringing with fear, but Jeff took a deep breath, and launched into the speech Annie knew was coming. It was predictable with him…

"Annie…who else in the group has dealt with addiction? Who else in the group has been disowned by both parents? Seriously…my dad let me have Thanksgiving with him after years of not seeing him, and I regularly avoid my mother's calls. I'm not disowned! Troy isn't! Abed isn't! Pierce's dad wouldn't stay OUT of his life…before I killed him, anyway. You're the only one who's had to deal with something as horrible as being completely cut off, which, I might add…they did to you because you made a positive life move!"

Annie squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. Was he actually getting angry with her for her parents decision? "What's your point?"

Jeff snapped to attention, index finger thrusting out at her. She knew he was really in speechifying mode when he did that. "I'm not done. Stick with me…Addiction, family issues, you were completely ostracized in high school, constant internal push to be the best, low self-esteem…Annie, do you know ANYONE else who has this much crap dumped on them all at once?"

Annie was nearly in tears all over again. Jeff really knew how to hit all the wrong buttons tonight. "Is that the big reveal for us coming to the cafeteria, Jeff? Here's why Crazy Annie is crazy?"

"Annie…you don't get it, do you? Despite the fact that you have all this garbage dumped in your lap, you don't let it get you down. Look at me…my parents got divorced, Shirley made me pee myself, and I grow up to be a jaded jag with serious commitment issues. Britta isn't happy unless she's got half a dozen crazy causes that she's bullying everyone else into helping with, Troy actually injured himself to get out of a scholarship because he felt there was too much pressure and has complained about smiling when he doesn't want to! Pierce is…Pierce. ("Yeah, let's not even start digging there…") Shirley was so angry at Andre that she went batshit insane and vandalized Professor Slater's office and car! Abed is a unique case, but at a minimum, seeing us all in stop-motion has to be a first…"

Annie just sat there, and took it all in. She wasn't happy hearing Jeff tearing down their friends, but it seemed like he was just winding up, and she hoped he had a purpose.

"So, through all that, each of us have our own craziness, and you do too…but YOU are the one who is the bright, annoying, sun-like cheerful center of that study group. So much bad stuff has happened to you…and you still keep smiling. You still keep loving everyone. You were the one who kept encouraging us to give Pierce a second chance, because you felt he could be a better person, even when every last one of the rest of us had given up on him. None of us know how you do it, but your optimism and love are really what keep us together. Plus…you're the only one who really knows how to study." Jeff trailed off as he mumbled out the last sentence.

"Annie, you lived in one of the scariest neighborhoods in town, and you really never complained. The only reason any of us knew it was an issue was when we had to take you home that one time. It was horrible, and dangerous, and you were far too good to live there…and what was your attitude about it? It was the best you could afford, so you were grateful to have it! There's a name for people like you, y'know?"

Annie just waited for Jeff to continue…her eyes clearly waiting for him to enlighten her on what "her people" were called.

"Annie…you're a Pollyanna. Now, normally that's said with some level of disdain, but I assume you're familiar with the story? (Annie nodded. Of COURSE she knew Pollyanna.) Usually people call someone a Pollyanna to mock how relentlessly optimistic someone is, but every once in a while, you meet someone whose optimism is refreshing, not obnoxious."

Annie started to blush…this was one of the nicest things she'd ever heard come out of Jeff's mouth, let alone directed at her.

"You're a mix of both."

Scratch that blush…she should have known better than to trust Wingers bearing compliments. So this was how the Trojans felt…

"Annie, I'm not going to pretend that I'm hopelessly in love with your optimism, and your nagging, and your need to get involved with every campus activity and extra credit opportunity…but you could be a lot worse about it too. And just maybe…your nagging me has had a good influence on me. Do you remember our Zambia talk after the Model UN blowup?"

Annie shook her head…she remembered, but she didn't want to. It was uncomfortable and awkward, and was a bit of an upheaval in the status quo between Jeff and her, in ways both good and bad. And now Jeff was looking at her skeptically after her denial. "You…the girl who takes copious notes and even records classes doesn't remember a conversation that seemed to be pretty memorable, and almost a 'turning point' between you and I?" Jeff even used air quotes for emphasis when he got to the appropriate point.

"Fine. I remember, but it's too embarrassing…do I have to say it?"

Jeff smirked at her. Could she be cuter? "No…you don't have to say it. I will. To paraphrase, I told you that the dynamic between us had to change, because *I* was keeping you at an arms length by maintaining your status as someone whose age made them somehow less than me…I was older, and thus, more mature, and you were a bit of a child. Am I accurate thus far, Annie?"

Annie nodded…she didn't much care for this. It felt like it was the beginning of some distance between them, just like it had been last time. Previously, they'd been able to find ways to overcome the distance, and had become closer than ever…but she didn't feel comfortable predicting any ends like that with how tonight had been going.

"Good. To continue, if it please the Annie" By slipping her name in, as if she were a judge, Jeff was trying desperately to lighten the mood …plus it was getting late, and he got slightly goofy when he was missing his designated beauty sleep. "you were nervous about the prospect of growing up, because you and I had grown so close, and you didn't want to risk that. And here's where I got sloppily sentimental. I told you that it was too bad, because the world needed women like you…and our relationship would have to evolve to fit that need. It wasn't fair for you to stay a kid forever just so you and I could stay in our comfort zone, right?"

Annie looked over at Jeff…her expression unreadable. If Jeff had to hazard a guess, he'd say she looked like she was feeling a loss. He needed to pick up the pace…keeping Annie hurting wasn't in anyone's best interest, especially not his. He couldn't pull any triggers early…if he did, he risked potentially destroying any chance he had with long term happiness with Annie, and even worse, he could ruin the adorably obnoxious optimism and drive that made Annie so unique. Jeff's first and foremost priority tonight was to make sure Annie came out of it, if not better off…then at least not worse off than she came into it. Beyond that…he'd carry out his plan of attack, and see what lay ahead.

"Annie…I need to know from you. How do YOU feel our relationship has progressed since this little heart to heart? I know you were worried we wouldn't be as close…do you think that happened?"

"Jeff, of course not. Yes, I was worried…I always will be in a situation like that, but if anything, I think we've gotten closer."

Jeff grinned. She nailed it. "Yeah, Annie…I think so too. Honestly, I'd say we're the closest pair in the group, apart from maybe your two roommates. Those guys are on an entirely separate level…" Jeff stood there, shaking his head while he thought of Troy and Abed. He wasn't sure if they reminded him more of twins, or of an elderly married couple who'd been together so long, they practically shared a single brain. "Seriously though, Annie…take a look at you and me. Is Pierce as close to anyone as that? Is Shirley or Britta? Are you closer to anyone than you are to me? I love everyone in the group…even Pierce. Shirley and I have a special bond that's unique, but I am flat out closer to you than anyone."

Jeff paused for a minute, both letting that sink in, and steeling himself for what came next. He'd never admitted this to Annie before…or anyone for that matter. He'd barely allowed himself to think it. It was too dangerous…but this stop was all about getting past the creepiness and danger. He was about to lay himself in front of Annie, at her mercy.

"In fact…I think you're possibly the most important person in the world to me. The only rival you have is my mom. She has biology on her side, plus the whole raising me thing…but, again, I DO avoid her phone calls on a regular basis, which I don't do with you. Besides, I've never kissed my mom the way we've kissed."

Jeff tried to grin at this last part, but in doing so, realized he was sniffing loudly, and that tears were rolling down his cheeks. This whole emotional honesty thing was going to take some serious getting used to. Given the circumstances, he was fairly certain that the cocky grin he wanted to pull off probably looked like a painful rictus.

When she saw his tears, like clockwork, Annie moved to comfort him. It was a move both conscious and instinctual. Annie felt the drive to make him feel better, but she actively indulged it. She slid over to the other side of the table, and pulled him into a hug.

"This isn't a free pass, Jeff. I'm still hurt and mad at you…but I'm not THAT big of a single-minded harpy. Besides…you don't even have my mom to be your rival." Jeff wasn't the only one who could lay down heavy truths tonight…she loved the whole study group, but since the earliest days, even when she had her schoolgirl crush on Troy, she'd still valued Jeff above everyone else. She'd simply invited Troy to her Day of the Dead party their freshman year…she'd hunted Jeff down, and pulled out all the stops to make sure he'd come. In part, because she knew the presence of someone as cool as Jeff could ensure the success of her party, but also…she just wanted him there! Was that really so wrong?

He wasn't bawling by any means…he was still Jeff, but for a few brief moments, he allowed himself to be held by Annie, and even though it wasn't apparent to anyone besides him, he allowed himself to relax, and be vulnerable in his most sensitive areas. He silently allowed himself to open his heart, and allow Annie in. When he'd set out on this one night epic adventure, he had an idea where he wanted things to end up…and with each completed stop, he was more and more assured of the details of the final destination. He had already repudiated much of his previous life during his time at Greendale, whether it was deciding the study group was more enjoyable to spend time with than a bunch of stuffed suits, or that it was the right decision to risk throwing away any opportunity to reclaim his former position at his law firm in order to do right by Shirley…or even to admit to himself that a lot of the time, he was wrong about a lot of things. He needed to address a couple of those before they moved on. He pulled away from Annie, and she reciprocated, folding her arms across her chest as she backed to the end of the bench. She wasn't AS mad at him, but she was still upset. Now that he wasn't in emotional distress, it was back to the new status quo.

"Annie…in all this growth, you've achieved so much…but I need to make sure you know not to change WHO you are. For the past four years, I've barely tolerated Pierce…everyone in the group has. Except you. You've always fought for him, because that's your instinct. You see the best in people. But just a few months ago, when the Dean wanted to hunt that 'whale,' Archie…you had me distracting him, which believe me…I totally get, but you were also just being snide about him. You called him by that codename 'Walking Dead,' and were generally very un-Annie about it. Don't become that person…don't be like me. Don't you get it? I've mostly been a not-great person, and you've helped me change that. You, on the other hand, have always been wonderful, just in need of some time to grow up. Don't become like me."

Annie nodded at him. She wasn't ashamed of trying to keep Pierce away during the Dean's wooing of the rich, lazy student, because Pierce really WAS a bit of an attention hog, who could turn into a drama queen when he wasn't the center of attention, but she hadn't needed to be so rude behind his back. She hadn't felt good about it then, or when she thought about it later.

"Yeah, you're right. I guess I just try too hard to fit in sometimes. Especially when it comes to feeling like I need to act more adult. I'm just tired of everyone treating me like a kid after all this time. I thought it would eventually come to an end…but it hasn't."

"Annie, take it from the person who's probably made a bigger deal about your age than anyone else. You're a grown woman now. People just underestimate you because they're so used to cynicism coming with age, and you've managed to avoid that. That's a good thing. As long as I'm around, if anyone gives you crap about your age, I'm going to bat for you."

Annie looked at him, eyes wide. After her explosive tantrum at the Model UN, Jeff had said a few choice things about the age difference between them, what it had meant, and what needed to change with it going forward. She could still hear the echoes in her memory, Jeff saying to her 'When you feel the way I feel about you…' back then, his example of treating her like a child to show her what had to end distracted her from his bold-faced admission of his feelings. The next time age got brought up was at the hotel, when they were reconciling after she'd thrown drinks in his face. He'd told her he wasn't going to want to do a lot of things she did…and she immediately threw the age issue in his face like it was another drink. He'd denied it then, saying that it was because he wasn't lame, and they'd laughed it off. Now though…she realized what it said when she put the pieces together. His denying the age issue, his telling her that he'd take her side if her age should come up…

"Jeff, are you saying our ages don't matter anymore?"

"Yeah, Annie…that's what I'm saying. If anything, you're the more adult of us. You're not a starry-eyed teenager anymore. You're about to graduate, you've been on your own since you opted to go into rehab, and you've proven to be nothing but successful under adverse circumstances. I'm still going to call you on it when you act childish, but let's face it…with your determination and insistence that everyone put forth their best efforts, there's going to be times when lazy slackers like me will make you frustrated and you'll act out, even when you're an eighty year old woman asking Leonard if you can join the Hipsters. When I consider that, I have to say that our ages DEFINITELY don't matter."

For what seemed like the millionth time tonight, Annie was caught off-guard and stunned by Jeff's admission. He'd just elevated her to a peer…and completely removed one of the major stumbling blocks that had prevented them from being anything more than…whatever the hell they'd been.

"Jeff, can you please just give me a moment to think here?" Jeff gave her a curious look, but nodded his assent.

Annie needed just a few seconds to process and consider everything without feeling pressured to be giving Jeff answers, or interacting with him. She looked back at the last few years, and especially the last few months. She and Jeff had done SO much together, but had never had the dreaded "define the relationship" talk, because they weren't in a relationship…why would they? But he'd asked, and taken her to a Greendale dance…he'd taken her on a ski trip, he'd attempted a couple's costume with her, they regularly hung out at each other's lockers while they waited for the other one, he'd kept her company during the 'Civil War,' he'd immediately chosen her as his Biology partner…hell, he'd even been the first one to jump to her rescue when her character was getting killed when they'd played Pierce's dumb video game. She'd (embarrassingly) used her feminine wiles to get him to join the Glee club, they'd been partners in 'trying' the case when their Biology yam was smashed…they'd even sung a very subtext laden line together when they were trying to rescue Abed from his mental breakdown their sophomore Christmas…and ANY time it came up…going to dinner, going to a dance, anything like that, Jeff always paid her way. He didn't even make a big deal about it…she tried, but he'd somehow get to it first. When Annie had given her 'speech' at the Starburns wake, she'd revealed that she'd been on three dates since coming to Greendale…and had to pay for all of them. She hadn't even thought of the times Jeff had taken her out, because those weren't dates…right? More often than not, it was just something quiet at the Greendale cafeteria, or Jeff would bring take-out for her along with his own when he'd come to hang out at Casa Trobed. Since the majority of the time they weren't going anywhere…Annie could see how she'd overlooked it.

Even given all that though, there was so much they didn't do. Prior to her humiliation tonight, they hadn't kissed since the Tranny Dance. They didn't hold hands, or hug each other more frequently than they hugged the rest of the group. If Jeff ever took her to eat, she'd always hug him after, but she'd do the same for any other group members. Obviously, they didn't have sex…

When she was with Jeff, she felt comfortable, but always had an undercurrent of giddiness. She loved that they talked, and texted without it being a big deal…Jeff was just a part of her life.

My God…was she dating him? While, somehow, not actually dating him?

"Jeff?"

"All done with your introspection?" he replied, turning to face her

Annie nodded. "Yeah, and I need to ask you something."

Jeff studied her face…her eyes were shiny with tears…what conclusion had she drawn during the momentary silence she'd requested? He nodded at her to continue.

"Jeff…can you please stop with the mixed signals? I'm starting to get really confused, and it's getting really uncomfortable for me."

Crap. He'd worried this might happen while he was acting somewhat against type, and opening up to her…but really, her timing couldn't have been better. He gave her what he figured was his most genuine, reassuring look. It had always worked on his clients in the past…not to mention the study group more than once.

"Yeah, Annie…in fact, I think we should head on out of here, and we'll handle those mixed signals once and for all."

Annie nodded, sniffing slightly as she stood. Jeff didn't fail to notice that her body language was staying closed, like it had on the way in. He was still in the doghouse…but at least they were one step closer to the final resolution.

As they left the cafeteria, Annie couldn't hold it in any longer.

"So, what was that about Shirley making you pee yourself?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

A/N: I need to get a couple of things out that have really been tweaking with my brain while I wrote this chapter.

Humor: Community is a sitcom...it's funny. This story is not. I comfort myself by repeatedly telling myself that a big part of what makes Community so funny is the writing as interpreted by the actors...so much of the humor is visual, and that just can't be conveyed in a story like this. But, in the end...I feel like I'm taking the characters, and writing them as faithfully as I possibly can...and putting them through what amounts to an episode of "As Greendale Turns." I blame my failure on the fact that I have an extremely...unusual sense of humor. The last time a stand-up comic was able to make me crack a smile, I was eight years old. On the other hand, Andre wearing a Cosby sweater will endlessly amuse me, or the sight of Jim Rash writhing around on the floor due to Joel McHale donning a pair of aviators. I suspect the root cause is a steady diet of British comedies back in my teen years...but bottom line is, I apologize for taking funny characters and situations, and writing a pure drama.

Continuity/Characterization: We're just about halfway done here...this was the last entry for Season 3, and we leap into Season 2 next chapter. I am definitely taking liberties with what I think happens with the characters off-screen. However, I am trying to only do this based on what I can surmise from cues from the shows. Now...I LOVE discussion and debate. If you want to take issue, or even just talk about any of my plot points, bring it to me on my tumblr (daneblr is the tumblr name...) and I would love some back and forth. I'll likely argue my case, but I'm definitely open for convincing. Even if you want to talk about stuff that ISN'T related to my story...I'm just a discussion addict.

Overuse: Lastly...upon some rereading, I've realized that due to the fact that there's only SO many "big" definitive Jeff/Annie moments in the series...I tend to hammer on them again, and again, AND AGAIN. I am going to try to avoid using the fucking ski trip, paired Halloween costumes, etc...as much as possible moving forward. The story is about to pick up just a bit anyway, so it should be a little easier. Egads...I never want to see myself mention those in this story again.