A/N: Hey! I completely forgot about the Disclaimer before, so here goes: I do not own NCIS or its characters in any way, I also do not own the 'A la nanita nana' song from my last chapter! Annie
That night Ziva slept peacefully on Tony's lap and dreamed for the first time in a while.
"Ima? Ima? Where are you?" The little girl of about 18 months ran through the rooms of the house crying. "Ima?" The girl was close to screaming now and stood still wailing for her mother.
"Hey, Zara? Ima's here my darling." The woman with long brown hair scooped up the crying child and bounced her carefully on her hip.
Ziva strained to see the woman's face, but she stood with her back to her.
"Oh my darling, did you get scared? Ima is here my precious." She soothed.
"Ima." The child sobbed as she rubbed her head against her mother's chest.
"Did you get scared?" Zara nodded and wiped her eyes on her mommy's top. The woman pretended to be shocked.
"Oh! My top! It's all dirty! You silly girl!" She laughed. Zara laughed and the mother and daughter rubbed noses.
"I have to go shopping baby, but Ima will be back soon. Auntie Tali will look after you." Zara nodded and reluctantly went to in her aunt's arms.
"Thank you so much Tali! I just have to go shopping. I'll be back in about an hour."
"Don't worry, I might take her to the park , but I'll be back before you." Tali, was a beautiful 16 year old, and almost the spit of her sister. Kind and compassionate, it was often wondered if she had any faults. The woman kissed her sister and her daughter and ran out of the door smiling.
..................................................................................................................................................................
"I'm... sorry...a bomb...park...killed instantly...both." Eli looked at his eldest daughter at kissed the top of her head. She shook her head. Everything was fuzzy. Why was it all so fuzzy?
"It gets better, I promise." He whispered. The woman stood up quickly and ran out.
"I don't want it to get better!" She screamed as she slammed the door. "I want my baby!"
Ziva didn't need to see the woman's face anymore. She knew who it was. A past image of herself, before she had become racked with guilt, anger and pain. It was all a haunting memory, come back to taunt her and kill her all over again.
The woman walked along in a blur and ran her fingers through her hair. Tel Aviv was no longer her home, it was a place that held her secrets and threw them back at her viciously. When she opened her eyes, she was in a flat that she recognised, but she couldn't recall getting there. A man walked into the sitting room with a cup of coffee.
"I know it doesn't make it better. It's all I can do for you though. I'm so sorry Ziva. I loved that girl."
"So did, I Ari." She sobbed into his chest, just how her daughter had done only a few hours before. "I'm sorry. I know what Aba says about crying." She said wiping her eyes.
"Your child has just died. If you weren't crying, I'd be worried. Oh Ziva." He comforted as he pulled her towards him again.
"Ari? I think I want to come back to Mossad. I mean, I know I'm going to need more training because I'm out of shape, but please. Will you help me?" She asked cautiously. Saying the wrong thing to Ari could send him crazy.
"Ziva" He sat upright and looked at her. "Do not take this decision lightly. You have not done any training since... Zara was born. Are you sure?"
She nodded determined. "I will get the bastards that did this to me."
..................................................................................................................................................................
Ziva sat up bolt upright.
"Morning sleepy head!" Tony sang as he walked in with a tray of pancakes.
"Where is Ginny?" Ziva panicked. A child alone with DiNozzo? God knows what it'd learn.
"Don't panic. Her Mom picked her up first thing. Obviously, Charley can't be away from her kids too long. About half 6 she came round!"
Ziva didn't pay attention and sat in a daze remembering her dream.
"Aren't you going to eat your pancakes? I made them especially." Tony was a little hurt, but he saw Ziva's face and recognised the look, but he'd never seen it on Ziva's face. It was the look that he saw every time he had to tell someone that their loved one, wasn't coming home. The look of pure pain.
"Mm? Oh." Ziva picked up the pancake numbly and chewed the same piece over and over. For 9 years, she had blocked her pain and for some reason it came back to her. After Zara's death, Ziva had thrown herself into Mossad training, and one year after working so hard to track them down, she found the men responsible for the suicide bombing that killed her sister, and her...daughter. Ziva physically flinched at the thought of the small happy girl she had loved with all her heart. Ziva killed the men in the most painful ways her imagination could think of. She had planned to leave Mossad and travel the world, and not have to kill people, but her father convinced her to stay. Ziva realised that she'd never had the chance to mourn her baby, and that America had done that to her. Turned her soft, and weak.
"Hey?" Tony grabbed her arm. "Tell me." His face and eyes didn't bother to hide his concern this time. Something was up with Ziva and it was eating away at her.
"It is nothing Tony." She shrugged. She wanted desperately to tell him, to cry with him, but she was so scared that he would run a mile if she did. Somehow, she couldn't help thinking that perhaps it wasn't America that changed her, perhaps it was Tony. Somehow, his love for life had brought her out of her shell and made her happy again. She laughed for the first time in years when she was around him.
"Don't give me that. Tell me."
"Later. I promise." She walked into her room, rubbing her temples again. The headaches were getting worse, and so was the pain in her heart.
Ok, guys I know, fluffy, sappy stuff, and I'm warning you now, it'll get worse! I had to have Ari as the nice guy, because Ziva really did love him and I thought that I owed it to her! Kate fans, don't hate me!!