1st of September (PM)

Thoughts were rushing through my mind: Does he mean it? Can we actually make it happen? What about my college, my future? My internship will go to waste... My parents will hate me! What if he decides he can't do this, when it's already too late for abortion? What if they get back together with Marzia? What will he say to people? Would he hide me and his own baby from the world, his bro's?

I picked out an ice blue flared dress with a thin black belt on the waist, which was -for some reason- hidden in the depths of my wardrobe. Oh, and my shoes, my favorite black patent leather platform pumps. I HAD to look my best tonight. He was going to take me to "Al di Là" which was a pretty romantic Italian Restaurant. It was also on Fifth Avenue, nearby the agency which i was soon going to drop out of my internship. It was all happening so fast, a bit.. too fast. I was getting carried away, which i had learned, was a bad thing to do. I had always gotten carried away in the past, an it all led to excruciating heartbreaks. But i didn't care anymore. I had already hit the rock bottom, i could have only gone up from there.

It was 18:45 when i had done my make up and my hair.

It was 18:56 when i had gathered up my purse.

It was 19:02 when i was excitedly looking out of my window, ready for our actual first date.

It was 19:15 when i said to myself "You know how the traffic rush gets in Manhattan, especially in the evenings."

It was 19:30 when i decided to pour myself a glass of wine i kept on the top of the cupboard. i was saving it for a special occasion, but hell, my mental state was VERY"special" at that particular moment. I had always been a girl who gets her hopes up so easily, as well as losing them.

It was 19:31 when i heard a knock on the door. I knew it was him, i could smell his Jean Paul Gaultier. I straightened my dress and put on a smile before i opened the door.

-Well well well, our guest of honor finally decided to show up.

I wasn't even angry about him being late anymore when he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in for a kiss.

-I'm not familiar with the whole "rush hour" thing, i couldn't predict how long it would take to get here, i'm sorry.

-Now that you're here it's all good Felix. i said, between the small childish kisses and giggles. i continued:

-Would you like to come in for a while, or are we heading out already?

-Well, i pushed our reservations to 9, so i wouldn't mind hanging out with an astonishing lady for a while. he said, with the cutest grin on his face.

But it didn't take long until a tension filled the room, he saw the wine bottle i had just opened.

-What's that?

-What's what?

-On your kitchen table.

-Oh... I just... I, uh... I thought you ditched me so i...

-You know you shouldn't, no matter what!

-I just...

-Nevermind, really...

I guess he saw how sorry i was because before i could say anything he went on:

-Please don't, ok? I want our baby safe and sound.

-Felix I didn't even take a sip, so, no worries.

It was a total waste of a perfectly fine wine, but i knew he was right and i wanted to show him i agreed, so i threw the bottle away. Soon the tension was replaced by a warm feeling as we were on the sofa, zapping channels on my cheap-ass TV. I laid on his chest, his hand was on my belly. That's when I felt the belonging, i felt as if everything was going to be alright. It was nice, just sitting there like a married couple, making fun of the Kardashians. I felt somewhat right. I knew there was a long hard path waiting for us, but with Felix on my side, i had a feeling it might be okay.

We went to Al di Là, he was kind enough to not order some wine after the controversy we had earlier. We ate black spaghetti, which was basically a pasta made with squid ink. It was kinda salty but we both enjoyed our dinner which was followed by a chocolate coupé with nut sprinkles on top. Besides the time he called the waiter "bro", the night went quite smoothly.

-The place i'm staying is really nearby. Um... Would you like to come over, maybe stay for the night? he asked as he ran his fingers through his hair,before starting the ignition.

-I don't give in on the first date, honey. i said in a teasing way.

-No, i wasn't trying to imply th- Wait... You DO realize you are pregnant, with my child. Right?

-That doesn't matter, it's our first date! i said smirking.

-Are you serious? he skeptically asked.

-Look Felix, i want to make this in the rightest way possible even though the situation we're in is so wrong.

-Make "what" exactly?

-You and me work.

-OK then, no pressure. But it's getting late, i would really rather if you stayed with me tonight.

And so, we drove past Central Park and arrived at Hilton. That place was really fancy. From the moment we had entered the lobby of the hotel, i immediately felt like a VIP. I was used to the crappy dorm rooms and tiny studios which were practically falling apart, and this was... just the opposite.

We went up to his room. After realizing the gorgeous city view his room had, the first thing that drew my attention was the computer and recording equipment that had been set on the table right across his bed.

That's when it hit me. This was real. This was actually happening. He was a man who had millions and millions of fans. Other men wanted to be him, women wanted to be WITH him. But he was right there, standing beside me, trying to get the key-card to the socket to turn the lights on. He was funny, a bit clumsy, handsome, caring. And for that moment, all i cared about was the fact that he was all mine.