a/n: Hi once more, everyone! Well, all my stories so far have been in Sonoko's point of view, so I wanted a change and decided to make a story in Makoto's POV. Ummm I wanted to try something new so this story's more of angst.

WARNING: This story is rated T for character death.

Disclaimer: If I really did own Detective Conan, I wouldn't be here writing fanfiction. I would be out there putting Makoto in the anime. Permanently.

Prompt: Night

He could tell she was lying to her.

Everyday, she always told him that she was over it. That she was okay. She told him that she'd forgotten all about the incident, and she had recovered. That she was fine. She'd act happy, she'd smile and shop and do what girls do. During the day, she was her happy, perky self.

Night was another matter.

Sometimes, if he was careful, if he was quiet, he could sneak a peek in her room. He could see her, hunched over the edge of her bed, looking down at her feet, her head in her hands. If he listened carefully, he could hear sniffles and sobs. She would whisper to herself, 'you had to, you had to – there was no other choice', as if she was trying to convince herself. Then she'd shake her head and let out a few quieted sobs. But whenever he entered the room and tried to comfort her, she'd wipe her eyes and smile and pretend once again. Like she was okay. She'd shrug him off and leave the room.

His heart always broke when he saw her cry.

He blamed himself. If only, if only he had come earlier. If he had run a little faster, maybe she wouldn't have to be this way. He could've saved them and she wouldn't have had to do what she did.

But he didn't. He didn't arrive in time, and these were the consequences.

He'd lie with her at night, wrap his big, strong arms around her and try to comfort her as she slept. The nightmares always gave her away. She would scream, eyes shut and flail her arms and legs about. He'd always have to restrain her and whisper in her ear until she calmed down and fell asleep out of exhaustion. He'd whisper comforts, reassurances. But as he did, his heart panged with guilt. It was his fault. All his fault.

Once she was asleep, he would lie awake and wonder how this all started. Then he'd remember. She and Ran had gone up to the house on the hill to make chocolates. He'd been jealous when she told him that it was for the person she liked the most. The thought of her liking any other guy made his head burst in fury. He'd gone up to the hill, and burst into the house, and he saved them from the hunters who threatened to kill them.

At least, he saved Sonoko.

But he was too late. The deed was done. The hunters had pointed the gun at the kid – what was his name? Conan? – and threatened to kill him if she didn't kill Ran. She had an impossible choice to make. Which life to choose? Both their lives were on her shoulders.

She didn't even get enough time to act.

One minute she was staring at the knife's shiny blade, the next she was staring at a body. When she looked up, Ran's face was there.

She had thrown herself on the knife so Sonoko wouldn't have to choose.

He arrived a mere seconds later and beat the hunters to a slimy pulp. But he was a few seconds too late. When the lodge owner ran away to call the ambulance, the little kid and Sonoko stayed with Ran, trying to stop the bleeding. Ran had whispered words in Sonoko's ear as Sonoko tried to reassure her, tried to tell her everything was going to be okay. Though they all knew it was a lie.

She died minutes later.

Ran's father – Kogoro, was it? – woke up minutes later, although how he fell asleep right after pointing out the killer was a mystery. He had wailed at his daughter's death and mourned her loss. He stayed hunched by her side, issuing little sobs from time to time.

The mysterious kid wouldn't talk to any of them. He didn't give up, trying to revive her repeatedly. He had done CPR (how did he know that?) and tried to stop the bleeding, but it was already too late. He had stared at her in shock and denial, and gripped her hand like it would bring her back. He cradled her head and whispered things in her ear until her father woke up and tried to chase him away. The whole time, he stayed beside her, holding her hand and wiping away tears. The only time he left her was to go to the bathroom, and when Makoto passed by it he could hear sobs.

Sonoko had sat in a corner. He had tried to come closer, tried to comfort her, but it was all in vain. She was like a statue, staring right ahead into nothingness. As if nothing was real. He had wrapped his arms around her, told her everything was going to be alright, but it was like talking to a wall. She didn't respond to anything. Like he wasn't even there.

He stayed with her the whole time, even on the ambulance.

He had attended the wake as well as the funeral, which was held a few days after. He wasn't really related to Ran in any way, but he went for Sonoko. He stayed with her the entire time, comforting her. She had pressed her face against his chest as he held her. She cried as he stroked her hair.

When it was her turn for a speech, she went up the stage. She looked at the papers with her speech on it with unfocused eyes. On stage, she stared at the audience, opening and closing her mouth, not knowing what to say. Her eyes welled up with tears and she bolted, running straight for the ladies bathroom. He had chased after her and waited outside until she came out, still crying.

He blamed himself.

She'd been traumatized by the experience. She claimed she recovered, claimed that she was okay. Even now, five years later, she still kept up the charade. Everyday she would play the role of Sonoko Kyogoku, the cheerful, happy-go-lucky wife.

But at night, the walls crumbled. She would cry in bed, put her head in her hands and weep when she thought he wasn't looking. But he was always looking, always watching out for her.

"Makoto?"

His thoughts snapped back to the present as he looked at his wife lying in bed beside him and wrapped his arms around her once more. "Yes?" he replied.

"I'm never going to get over it, am I?"

Makoto widened his eyes in shock. She had never really opened up about it to him, about what happened that day on the hill. She had always pretended, always told him she was fine. He thought of lying for her sake, but decided on the truth. "No," he whispered. "I don't think you will."

He felt her press up against him. "It's all my fault," she mumbled. "Ran – she's dead because of me."

"Don't say that."

"It's true. Because of me, she's dead. How am I supposed to live with myself? I'm a murderer. A murderer."

"Those hunters were the murderers."

"But these hands, they took a life. They held the blade that ended Ran's life."

"Sonoko…"

"I'm never going to get over it. Never."

"Sonoko," he murmured, pulling her tighter and whispering in her ear, "it will be alright."

"I'll always be here for you."

a/n: So! First ever angst fic! Well, how did I do guys? Please review – they make me a better writer!

Just an FYI, the idea for this fic was from Naruto, from Nagato's story. In case you guys don't know, Nagato had to choose between killing his friend (Yahiko) or watching some guy kill his other friend (Konan). So what Yahiko does is to throw himself on the kunai knife Nagato's holding so Nagato doesn't need to choose. So, yeah, just a side note.