A/N: So! It's holidays, and I'm in 'writing mode', which means I'm churning out more stuff than usual. Sorry, homework, you take last priority.

Props to nicky-hale for telling me about her baking disaster in the reviews. I will never look at macaroni and cheese the same way again.

Disclaimer:

Though in writing a humorous fanfic
I have such a very good time
I ask when you read, just remember
Neither Twilight, nor Meyer, is mine!

(I know, I know, again with the bad poetry. Will I ever stop? No! Suffer!)

4 Drama, Drama, Drama

"Edward, no!" shrilled Bella, as her boyfriend carried her inside, out of the rain.

"Bella, you're freezing!"

"But I'll die!"

Edward shook his head at her melodramatics, forgetting that he had, not two minutes ago, been behaving significantly worse. "No, Bella, you won't die."

"Yes, I will!" Bella managed through gritted teeth, flailing madly.

Outside, Jasper continued to behave as though he were a fish, radiating goofy happiness. The group inside let him be. They had more important people to worry about; the vampire could take care of himself.

Once inside, Bella sneezed three times in quick succession, drawing a crowd of worried vampires in an instant.

"Quick, get her a blanket," said Edward, torn between Bella's madness and deciphering Jasper's thoughts. Fishy water yay water happy happy happy… echoed in his mind. Edward shook his head. He couldn't think about that now, as intriguingly brain-numbing as it was.

"Do we have any?" asked Emmett, trying to think. Bella, meanwhile, kept sneezing.

"Er- I think there are some upstairs in that cupboard…" said Rosalie. She went upstairs to look, Edward racing behind her.

Bella, recovering from her sneezing fit, wailed, "I'm dry! I'm dying! Edward! Noooo!"

Edward was back in a flash. "Bella!" Rosalie, bearing a thick woollen blanket, followed at a slightly more leisurely pace.

"I think she has a fever," said Alice. "She's going to have a nasty cold as it is. The most we'll do is stop it from becoming pneumonia."

"Pneumonia? Bella?" asked Edward, worried.

"I'm dying!" Bella moaned. Outside, Jasper was still flopping crazily, but more as though he was worried this time.

"Would a hot bath help?" Rosalie asked, trying to ignore the view from out of the corner of her eye. Jasper's antics were rather distracting.

"Yes!" exclaimed Alice and Edward.

"Yes!" Bella chimed in excitedly, flopping around again, rather weakly. "Water!"

"Shh," Edward soothed her.

Between them, they controlled Bella's flailing and carried her up the stairs quite easily. Once there, Emmett deposited the girl in the spa tub fully clothed, and turned the hot water on full bore.

"Water!" breathed Bella in anticipation. She reached forward to feel the stream—"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Bella," said Alice— but shrunk back immediately. "Oww! It's hot!"

Edward instantly added more cold. Bella relaxed almost immediately.

"Aah," she sighed, leaning back into the spa as the water pooled around her. "I'm wet again. Thankyou, Edward." She jerked around a little, rocking her slightly, and looked up at him with loving eyes, dragging her small hands through the water. Back and forth, back and forth.

Edward was smiling down at her (in this position, she was almost too cute to resist), but the worry in his eyes was plain.

A/N: I'm actually really proud of the ending to this chapter, though it's extremely bigheaded of me to say so.