Wow! 15 reviews! I'm so happy! Let's try and get it up to 20! Thanks is long overdue to nosleep3, BellaMariie, nicky-hale, and Obessor14 for some repeated reviews! And! I'm! Using! Too! Many! Exclamation! Marks! It's probably because it's my birthday sometime during the next two weeks! Yay! Of course, I won't say when. This is the internet, after all.

DISCLAIMER: (to the tune of 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star')

Twilight, Twilight, there you are!
Steph'nie M's made you a star
Nothing Twi is owned by me
(My name, folks, is Steph'nie D)
Twilight, Twilight, there you are!
Steph'nie M's become a star.

"Aurgh!" Rosalie stormed out of her room. "Jasper!"

Of course, there was no answer. It had been half an hour since he had first laid down and fish-danced, and he was still going strong. As was the rain. From downstairs, Alice curled up on the sofa, positioning herself for the best view of the back lawn. Emmett joined her.

"Jasper!" Rosalie fumed again, knowing it was pointless.

"He can't hear you, Rose," called Edward from the bathroom, where he was attending to Bella's. He had kept the water steaming hot for a good fifteen minutes now, and still his beloved was still behaving oddly. More than oddly; downright worryingly. "He's still thinking something about… fish? Coral? The ocean? I've got no idea what it's about…"

"He's broken all the windows with that mud he's flinging everywhere! My room is completely covered in the stuff!"

"I know, I know," said Edward, soothingly, realising instantly that it was the wrong thing to say.

"Oh, and that makes it all right?"

"I never said that…"

"Oh!" Rosalie stomped off, shaking the foundations of the house. The windows would have rattled had they not already been broken. A sloshing sound came from the bathroom.

"Rosalie!" Bella complained. "You made my water go everywhere! You just wasted half of it! I'm going to die!" She burst into tears. Edward immediately turned the taps on with a force that almost broke them, and began to comfort her.

"Bella, it'll be alright. Just stay calm. Alice says you already have a fever. You don't want to make it worse."

"I don't care!" shouted Rosalie from outside. "This—she hauled the fidgeting Jasper across the lawn, into the house and up the stairs,—"has… gone… far... enough!" Alice bounded after her, Emmett trailing behind, snickering.

Having successfully dragged Jasper into the bathroom, leaving a trail of mud from the back door to the tiles of the bathroom floor, Rosalie sat him down on the side of the spa-bath, and began to yell at him. Alice and Emmett

"For goodness' sake! Can't you just get over this… this… thing? Hallucination? Whatever! What is going on?"

Enough of Rosalie's emotions carried over to Jasper for him to become, if not completely sane, at least a little more lucid.

"I don't know! If you want to know, ask her!" yelled Jasper back. He began to flop in agitation, which eventually deposited him headfirst and backwards into the spa, alongside Bella, who giggled.

"Have you come to play in the water, too?" she said happily, and sneezed. Jasper, comfortably nestled in the warm water, nodded. He drew his hand experimentally through the water.

Edward said, "Hush, Bella," and continued to the rest of the vampires in the room, "She's not well. I don't think she'll tell you anything that'll make sense."

"Edward, I'm not insane!" complained Bella. "Don't treat me like I'm two years old!"

Edward raised his eyebrows in patient scrutiny. Emmett raised his in disbelief. Rosalie's followed suit, in exasperation. Alice grinned. The combination of emotions seemed to bring Jasper out of his daze. He shook his head, and stared at Bella in wonder.

"If you wanted to know, you could have just asked," Bella continued indignantly.

"Well?" Emmett wanted to know.

"Well, what?" Bella pressed, impatient for equal treatment.

"Well, what's going on?" Jasper asked, also impatiently. His left hand splashed the water in the tub, despite himself. It was politely ignored by all, except for Emmett, who snickered.

"But isn't it obvious?" Bella looked down at herself in satisfaction, and clapped her hands. "I'm a mermaid!"

A couple of Twilight-related stories you guys may like if you like this one:

Twilight Outtakes, by me. This I describe as scenes that Stephenie Meyer's editor made her cut. You will see that tagline everywhere. That is because that is the quickest way to describe it. It's a parody, but not in the same style as this one. .net/s/5000110/1/Twilight_Outtakes

Again, thanks for taking the time to read this, and for reviewing, and see you next Monday! (Earlier, if you read my other stuff!)

stephanie du jour