A/N: I know, I know, short chapters, forgive me. I can't make 'em any longer! Anyway, more Jasper!

And despite some rather negative reviews on the poetry *cough*Cinnamon Selkie*cough*, I shall defiantly continue to release fantastic sonnets to the masses. Actually, this one's a haiku. Without all the imagery and stuff you're meant to include. Because this is bad poetry we're talking about.

DISCLAIMER:

Meyer wrote Twilight.
It gives me inspiration.
I do not own it.

Edward broke the ensuing silence. "Um, Bella… You're not a mermaid."

"Yes, I am!" stated Bella confidently. Jasper nodded, a little swayed.

"No, you're not," Rosalie said gently. Jasper shook his head.

"I think she really does have a fever," noted Alice. "Is that why you were dancing in the rain, Bella?"

"Yes," said Bella. "Of course." This was said with such assurance that once again, every single vampire was lost for words.

"Oh," was all Edward could say.

"Well… that explains a lot," said Jasper.

"Doesn't explain the saucepan on Eddie's head earlier, though," Emmett observed. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"It was the first thing I could find!" said Edward indignantly. "I've got no idea what it was doing out! Bella, you weren't cooking anything, were you? Were you hungry? All you had to do was ask…"

"No," said Bella. "I was enjoying the rain." Emmett snickered again.

"Actually…" said Rosalie, a little shamefaced. "I was… using it… as a mirror."

"A mirror!" Emmett roared with laughter.

"Well, you broke my normal mirror this morning!" she shot back at him. "I had to use something!"

"Oh, yeah, that's right…" Emmett's laughter trailed off as he registered the glare his wife was giving him. "Sorry 'bout that, Rose."

"Hmpf."

Alice, meanwhile, had skipped over to the side of the spa, and seated herself on the edge, inhaling the steam that rose from the still-hot water, and planning to become a temporary psychologist.

"Now, what makes you think you're a mermaid, Bella?"

"Because I am!" said a bewildered Bella. "It's like you guys are vampires; you just are!"

"But, Bella, mermaids are mythical—" Edward realised what he was about to say, and broke off.

Bella positively glowed in triumph. "Ha."

"But, Bella…" Alice sighed. There was nothing she could say that would make any difference. Suddenly, she sat bolt upright, startling Bella, who sneezed and clapped her hands in completely unfounded excitement.

"Alice?" asked Jasper, worried.

"Uh oh," Alice said.

"What?" asked Rosalie.

"Carlisle and Esme are coming home in thirty seconds."

Jasper thought about this. The south wall was almost entirely covered in mud, where the glass wasn't already broken from the force of his mud-slinging. There was a trail of mud all the way through the house. And Bella thought she was a mermaid. He sighed.

Carlisle was not going to be happy.

Sorry it's so short. At least I now have 25 reviews! I'm happy for that!

*throws random cookies at everyone who's reviewed*
*sounds of munching coming from reviewers*

Glad you like. They're chocolate chip. James baked them specially.