Day 3 with the fantabulous Rumpiss Cat! I really wanted to give him a cool, almost Tugger-like bravado but ended up with... this.

InkWoven: I'm looking forward to posting chapter four! It's probably my favourite chapter so far (for various reasons). So hold tight and wait until tomorrow :D

"You can't be serious… you've never heard of the Rumpus Cat?!"

"I have never heard of the Rumpiss Cat," Skimbleshanks shrugged. "I don't mean to disappoint but I'm an old tom with no new tricks."

Rumpus Cat, eyes fearfully blazing, frowned at the old railway cat. "Do you not have kittens? Oral traditions? EARS? I'm the freaking Rump-US Cat!"

Skimbleshanks sighed and took a quick sweep of the clearing, desperately looking for someone, kitten or cat, to distract the fiend. At least someone who knew how to pronounce his ridiculous name!

"Hey, Skimble, I was wondering if you could help me tear down this door- Oh!"

At the sound of that voice Skimbleshanks graciously swooped his arm and twirled the red-eyed cat to face the incoming tabby. "Munkustrap! Just the tom I was looking for!" Shoving hard against the gangly Mr. Cat he closed the too wide gap between them and the Jellicle Protector. "You really should talk to Munk, he can help you with your... problem, I'm sure."

"Wait a min-Munkustrap! Holy London Fog, it's been forever!"

Damn. Munkustrap's shoulders caved hopelessly and it took all the will power he'd surprisingly had left from the past two days' adventures not to choke that creepy slinky-stack neck. Plastering the cheesiest smile he owned (and he owned quite a few), he went to greet his long-time acquaintance; "Reggie-"

He was cut off with a raised paw and a dignified "Ah ah aah!" Skimbleshanks looked incredibly awkward and rather violated when the multiple-gray-toned cat lay a chummy paw on his shoulder. "I go by Rumpus Cat these days."

"Oh yes," Munkustrap griped, "I've heard."

"Yup! And it's exactly that- or you could say your lack of hearing..." he paused to lean back into the orange tabby and patted the chest of his vest for good measure. "... is why I'm here."

Skimbleshanks, who had been stealthily trying to pry the Rumpus Cat off of him for the past few minutes, coughed and again whipped his head around the clearing stopping when he'd caught his mate reclining on the TSE1 with Jellylorum, and Etcetera snoozing in her arms. "Honestly, I- Oh, what's that, my dear!? Yes, right away!" Jenny looked over from her conversation with Jellylorum to shush him, pointing to the sleeping kit with a murderous scowl. "Sorry, but my mate really needs my help right now."

"That's completely understandable, sir!" Rumpus Cat smiled and saluted the marmalade tom as he quickly sped off. "Mustn't keep the missus waiting!"

Munkustrap watched and waited for Reg- Rumpus Cat to finish chortling at the silliness of his salute. For a second the tabby wondered what his chances of a clean getaway were if he made a break for it while the taller cat's back was turned. Probably not very high. "So, what brings you to the junkyard Rumpus Cat?"

The other tom waved happily at a cluster of kittens who'd begun stealing glances at them from their mosh-pit at Tugger's feet. Munkustrap reached up to steer the other back to the conversation by turning him away from the practicing Jellicles. "We're really busy preparing for the Ball-"

"Yes! Oh, yes you are! Which is why I need to talk to you- well hello, miss."

A passing Bombalurina hissed and turned to Demeter gently hooked onto her arm. The queens snickered and whispered, glancing back every few moments. "Let me tell you, you're one lucky tom to have all these fine foxes strutting around. If I were you I'd constantly have a raging-"

"Reggie!" the tabby snapped, grabbing the gangly thing by the shoulders and jerking him back to face him and only him. "What do you want?"

"You have a Pekes and Pollicles number in your lineup this year."

Munkustrap sighed. "Yes, we have it in our Ball every year." He shook his head when the grey-smudged tom smiled and nodded. "So?"

Rumpus Cat, suddenly sheepish and bashful, began to fidget with the bug-eyed goggles at his hip; goggles, Munkustrap knew, that were prescriptions for his near-sightedness. "I just couldn't help notice there was nothing in there about me..."

"Oh, Reggie-"

"Rumpus Cat!" the red eyed fiend corrected. "And you and I both know that I should be in that song! You were there, you saw me chase off those flea-ridden mutts!"

"Yes, I know, but the thing is you're not a Jellicle," Munkustrap tried to explain for the zillionth time. "I told you this last year and the year before, and I'm going to tell you again: the Jellicle Ball is to celebrate the accomplishments of Jellicle cats-"

"So!?" Rumpus Cat whined, slapping away Munkustrap's paws and whipped his arms across his chest. "I'm just as good-no, I'm better!- than any of you! Make me a Jellicle and let me have the bloody song!"

"I can't- look, can you sing?"

Rumpus frowned, twisting that wide mouth of his into a distasteful grimace. "Well no."

"Can you dance?"

"I guess not, but I can-"

"Do you live in the Jellicle junkyard?"

Rumpus Cat threw his hands up and turned to a jury only he could see. "What are you trying to say, Munkus?"

"I'm trying to say you can't be a Jellicle. Especially not just for the sake of a silly part in a song-"

"It's not just a part in a song!" the oddball hollered. Nearby Jellicles turned and started to collect warily around them, anticipating the erratic cat to crack open a musical number, ring up an emotionally exhausting monologue, or jump Munkustrap and try to strangle him with the unnaturally long mop of his hair. He stormed up to the tabby and leaned in close. "This is my story: my legend!"

"I'm sorr-"

"Besides! You're a Jellicle and you can't dance!" Around them a couple toms 'Oooed' and some of the queens gasped; all eyes were now on the two. Somewhere in the crowd Munkustrap could hear Tugger's entertained guffaw.

For his part the tabby put his paws on his hips and laughed. "Who says I can't dance?"

"I says you can't dance; I know how you hang around the back and hope no one notices you- don't think I don't know you can't do the splits!"

Mistoffelees, who'd been watching from the tire with Victoria and Electra, murmured something and burst into wild laughter. Victoria blushed hotly, her eyes quickly darting away and Electra gave the tux a hard smack to the back of the skull.

"So if I can dance then you have to make me a Jellicle! C'mon, try me out!" Jumping back to the center of attention, he managed a wobbly twirl and slowly, veeery very slowly, lowered himself into a decent set of splits. "If I can out dance one of you, I get to feature in my song."

Munksutrap grinned down at the daffy tom. "Okay," he agreed, a plan forming beautifully in his mind's eye. "Let's get you a dance partner. How about Victoria?"

Still not looking at the silver tabby Victoria skipped up to the split-seated tom and offered a silly smile and a quick wave. Rumpus eyed her a moment while his arms flailed about looking for momentum to somehow slip out of the pose without much... damage. "Hi!" she chirped but he just waved her off with a dismissive paw.

"I saw you practicing earlier, doll, I don't wan't you to get hurt." Frowning, she turned to Munkustrap who was already waving Mistoffelees over. There was no way he was going to risk having to put up with this all summer let alone to wreck his Ball.

"NOT HIM!" Rumpus barked when the tux showed up at his side to help him up. "I know this kit, he's no good. I need a challenge, Munkustrap, not a couple of young things."

"Hey!" the siblings protested, Mistoffelees looking especially insulted and Victoria... slightly complimented. The tux looked about ready to deck the Rumpus Cat when Munkustrap stepped in, nudging Mistoffelees to the side as he reached down to pick the slight thing up by the scruff.

Of course Rumpus Cat knew which dancers where the strongest, he knew far too many things he shouldn't have! After trying to little avail to save Mistoffelees' bruised ego ("You sure you won't give him a shot? He just recovered from a broken ankle!"), the Rumpus Cat looked up at him and said, "Why don't we dance?"

"Like... you and me? I don't think so; I can't dance, remember?"

"No, you can't," Rumpus agreed, "but that means that if I can be even a bit better than you I'll be good enough to be a Jellicle." Insulted but not to be coerced, Munkustrap shook his head and suggested he try dancing with Cassandra or a tap-off with Jenny.

"You just know I'm going to win."

"By win you mean a free trip out of here? I can arrange that."

"Aww, come on Munk! Do it for the kits."

Munkustrap started at that. "...The kits?"

"Do it for all the dreamers out there!"

"Who-?"

"Do it for me, Munk!"

"No!"

Rumpus Cat puffed out his big, obnoxious R and took a deep breath to bellow, "I bet you're just a scared little pussy cat who's afraid of poodles!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"

With a dramatic wave of his arm and a rather awkward shake of the hips, Rumpus Cat turned to address the audience. "Then strike up the music!"

And so the two toms, much to the chagrin of the Jellicles, had it out center of the clearing in a... thrilling dance-off. For Munkustrap it would have been a cinch... if Rumpus Cat hadn't been a slightly better dancer than he'd expected.

Whatever Munkustrap did, Rumpus Cat copied but added something a little more flashy; the flailing of arms here, a couple somersaults with varying degrees of success there, and some acrobatic moves that Munkustrap normally would have found amazing if he wasn't so focused on figuring out how to destroy him.

Oh how he wished he had payed more attention to Jenny's lessons growing up. Now he was down to his last handful of 'spectacular moves': a couple variations on his old ones Mistoffelees and Victoria helped him learn to avoid the growing suspicion that he only knew a grand total of 4 steps.

When Rumpus Cat finished his last set, the fiend nodded and offered him the limelight. Munkustrap swallowed hard and scraped his skull for anything he might have seen someone do that didn't look particularly complicated. They were all complicated.

Looking to his teachers for help he found Jenny pointing to her shoes eagerly (though he'd slept through all her Jazz lessons... sorry); Victoria stretching her arms up over her head, possibly yawning; and Mistoffelees motioning to his outstretched knee, thumbs up high.

I guess it's all I got left, Munkustrap sighed. Steadying himself for the grand finale he took a deep breath and leapt, twirled, and kicked before finishing off falling into a perfect set of splits.

"You cheated! You so cheated and I totally just saw you do it!"

"I didn't cheat," Munkustrap smirked from his place on the ground. "I told you I could dance."

"B-but my song! I'm the Rumpus Cat, I scared away those pekes and pollicles with my amazing jaws!"

"I've seen better jaws on newborn kits," Tugger mumbled none-too-quietly from his new place between Cassandra and Rumpleteazer.

Instead of turning on Tugger the great pain in the arse marched up to Munkustrap and opened his jaws wide. "I have impeccable jaws!"

"Your breath stinks!" the tabby whined and waved him and his stink breath away from his face before he started reeking of more than dog. Apparently Rumpus Cats not only have poor eyesight but poor control over motor skills, depth perception, and lack of common sense as instead of backing away he chomped down hard on his too-wide jowls, snapping off a good couple of whiskers from Munkustrap's face.

The sound of 23 Jellicles gasping is a deafening one at best. Looking down at his feet one of his whiskers (or half as the other part was still stuck to his face) lay uselessly in the dirt, the other wedged between the Rumpus Cat's bottom teeth.

They stared long and hard at each other, neither making a sound until the soft brush of a grey shaded arm reached up to yank the whisker from his mouth. "I... I believe this is yours."

Munkustrap snapped, roaring in rage and jumping forward to grab a hold of that freaking crazy neck of his and just wrangle the tabby was close enough for the other tom to see without his goggles so he'd managed to dodge the grabbing mitts and duck past the rampaging tabby to make a solid break for it.

"Ladies," he grinned as he shoved past Bombalurina and knocked Demeter to the ground on his way through the crowd-line. Looking back he saw Munkustrap clear her head and pound the dirt after him.

Later Munkustrap would bewail his missing whiskers; if his whole set had been perfectly intact he would have been able to run straight after the awkward self-proclaimed, awesome-jawed superhero and catch him in two seconds flat. Instead he chased the smug tom to the edge of the junkyard tripping over his paws and veering to the right the whole way.

"Keep practicing your dance moves, Munk!" Rumpus Cat called over his shoulder just yards from the junkyard limits. "I'll be back next year!"