Well, for everyone interested in who Gavin really is, I would like you to know that his character is based on Tobuscus / Toby Turner which some of you might know from YouTube. A huuuge thank you to ShannonTheAwesomeOne for this awesome idea and making this Gavin's face claim!
Thanks to pezziecoyote for beta-reading this chapter and thanks to all of you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and following.
I'm so glad you like this story.
Enjoy the new chapter :-)
Chapter 3: Love is such a crazy thing
Another week had passed and all Shannon had received from Dean were a few text messages telling her in which city their next show would be held.
She didn't really expect anything else. But she thought he would at least ask her how she was and what she was doing rather than just casually mentioning where he was at the moment.
But then again she was happy that he kept in touch at all.
After Karo had called her the week before about Dean throwing a tantrum after seeing her and Roman making out, she was more unsure than ever.
Why did it bother him so much now that two of his best friends were in love? Why all of a sudden? He had always been supportive of their relationship. And now, after spending some alone-time with Shannon, it was pissing him off to see other people's PDA. Was he jealous? Is this what he secretly wanted? Being with her?
Shannon let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head and cursing herself for even thinking about a relationship with Dean Ambrose.
She stared at her cell phone, reading his latest text over and over again:
We're in San José 2day. Not too far away from u. Dean
He was so close. He was less than an hour away from her. And here she was, sitting on her couch in her sweatpants and a washed-out shirt.
What was he trying to tell her with that message? Did he want her to come over? Was he going to visit her again?
A knock on the door brought her back to reality. Sighing, she put her cell phone on the table and slowly made her way to the front door.
She was mentally exhausted. Dean was the first thought every morning when she woke up and the last thing in her mind before she went to bed each and every night. Her feelings kept on eating her up.
"Hi Shannon, I have this cool new game and wanted to ask if you wanted to play it with me," Gavin said excitedly after she opened the door.
A huge smile spread across her face when she saw how cheerful Gavin was. They had gotten to know each other quite well during the last couple of days. He was so much like her. Laid-back, addicted to video games and a complete nerd. It was adorable. He was adorable.
It was indescribable but she felt so carefree when she was with him.
"Sure, come in. I just need to get changed," she answered and motioned for him to enter her apartment.
"Why change? You're fine the way you are. I like your shirt," he said while passing her, giving her one of his heart-melting smiles.
He likes my shirt? He must definitely be blind, she thought to herself.
He plopped down on the couch, switching on the TV and waiting for her to start her games console.
It was as if they had known each other forever. He felt at home when he was in her apartment. And she felt the same way when she was in his.
The relationship she had to Gavin reminded Shannon of the one between Karolina and Seth. They were inseparable and hit it off right away. Despite the fact that they hadn't known each other for such a long time, he was already a real close friend to her.
"So, how's it? Has Dean called already?" Gavin looked at his new friend expectantly.
She had never really talked to him about her 'connection' to Dean, but he swore that that guy was just using her. She definitely wanted more from him than he wanted from her, he was sure of that.
"Just messaged me saying he was in San José, nothing else," she muttered, sitting down next to him on the couch.
He tried to read her face and all he could see was desperation and sadness. He didn't know why she was with a guy that couldn't give her what she wanted and needed, but it was none of his business.
"Are you going to see him then?" Although he knew that he should probably drop the subject, he just couldn't. He wanted to know more about her. As a person, a woman, a friend. And he wanted to know more about this Dean guy. Maybe he would understand why she was so sad while mentioning him.
"I'm not really sure, to be honest. What if he doesn't want to see me?" she asked, more to herself than him.
She felt so insecure when it came to Dean. Maybe he wanted to see her. Or he didn't. She had no idea, but she was too afraid of being dumped by him.
"You could still say you were going to visit Karolina, not him," Gavin said, as a matter-of-fact.
Shannon gave him a weak smile while nodding her head. Maybe he was right. She had nothing to lose. Even if he wasn't too keen on seeing her, she was at least able to meet her other friends.
"I might as well go there later today," she said and turned her head towards the TV screen, leaning back against the back rest of her couch and getting comfortable for their first round of gambling.
He watched her every movement, the expressions on her face making him weak in the knees. He had no idea why he suggested to her to go visit Dean.
He finally found a woman who seemed to be his matching part. She was everything he ever wanted in a woman. She was uncomplicated, easy-going, not afraid of being herself when she was with him by wearing sweatpants and not putting on any make-up. She didn't even need any make-up. She was a natural beauty.
He had never been with a girl that would voluntarily play video games with him. She was unique. And here he was, telling her to go to the man that was probably fucking her brains out, including every brain cell that was left in her head. Because if she were still in possession of some of them, she wouldn't even be thinking about being with that Dean guy.
He now focused on the TV screen, preparing himself for a gambling battle with his so-called dream girl. A girl that would never want him.
Because in the end he was still just a stupid little nerd.
...
Shannon was nervously chewing her fingernails while waiting for her friend to finally pick up her phone. She knew Karo loved her new ringtone but that didn't mean she had to hear it until it ended.
"Karolina speaking," the person on the other end said.
"Hey Karo, it's me, Shannon," she said quietly, mentally slapping herself for being so nervous while talking to one of her best friends.
"Shannon, what's up? It's good to hear from you," she answered, happy to hear her friend's voice.
"Look, I've parked my car in a side street close to the arena. Do you think you could pick me up and bring me backstage? I...uhm…I wanted to see Dean. And you, of course," she added quickly.
"You're here in San José? Why haven't you told me?" Karo asked curiously.
"Well, let's say I decided to come her spontaneously. Will you pick me up then?" she asked again, hoping for her friend to say yes.
"I'll be right there," she replied, asking Shannon for the street name so that she would find her quickly.
Ten minutes later, Karo pulled her friend into a tight hug, telling her how much she had missed her.
"Does Dean know you're here?" Karo asked, taking Shannon's hand into hers and leading their way back to the arena.
"No, I wanted to surprise him. But right now I'm not sure if this is such a good idea. Maybe I should leave again," Shannon suddenly said and tried to turn around in order to go back into the other direction again.
"No no no no, you're staying here. And if he's going to be a douchebag, I'll kick his ass," her friend reassured her, bringing a smile to her face.
"Has he been talking about me?" Shannon asked shyly while following Karo again.
"No, not really. But you know how he is. Roman told me Dean never really talked about women. But let me tell you something, he's been in a mood lately…it's annoying," she replied, a smirk on her face.
Shannon wasn't sure if this was a good or a bad sign. She didn't even know if his moods had something to do with her at all.
Maybe he was pissed off because he wasn't getting any. Or was he? She didn't want to know. Just thinking about him having sex with another woman broke her heart. But she couldn't blame him. She knew how he was. He seemed to be in a constant need for sex and it wouldn't surprise her if he banged a different woman each and every night. And she had no reason to be mad at him if he really did. Considering the fact that they weren't dating, he wouldn't even be cheating on her. Even if it felt like it – at least to her.
"Here we are," Karo said, opening a huge metal door and letting her in.
The hallways were brightened up with neon lights that actually hurt her eyes, reminding her of being in a hospital. There were people rushing through the corridors, yelling from one end to the other. It was a hectic environment.
As Shannon was looking around in awe, she didn't realize that they had arrived at the Shield's locker room. Karo was about to open the door when her friend suddenly stopped her.
"Wait a minute. Do I…uhm…do I look ok?" she asked, the look in her eyes reflecting insecurity.
Karo looked at her friend with a smile on her face, squeezing her hand softly. Shannon had put on make-up, wearing skin-tight jeans and a top that revealed a little cleavage. Just enough to make Dean lose his mind. She just knew it.
"You look wonderful. Now relax. He will know when you're nervous," she replied, slowly opening the door.
"Look who's here," Karo said cheerfully, dragging the girl that was hiding behind her into the room.
"Shannon, hey, what a surprise," Roman said with a huge smile on his face while approaching her and giving her a bear hug.
"Hey Roman, it's good to see you," she said, trying to catch her breath after Roman let go of her.
Seth just waved at her shyly, a small smile playing on his lips. He still didn't know how to handle her or what to think of her. All he saw in her was a man-eater that at first wanted to rape him, but maybe this time she could convince him that she was actually a really nice girl.
Dean stopped lacing his boots and looked up to her from his sitting position, keeping a straight face.
"Hi," he simply said before bringing his attention back to his boots.
Shannon's heart broke then and there, but she tried not to show anyone how disappointed and hurt she was by his behaviour. Not in front of him and not in front of their friends.
But Karo knew exactly what was going on as soon as she looked into Shannon's face. She looked at her friend pitifully before turning her head towards Roman, giving him a sign to say something in order to ease the awkward situation.
"So, uhm, are you staying for the show tonight?" Roman asked cheerfully. Too cheerfully actually. Sometimes he simply wasn't good at acting. It was obvious that he was trying to lesson the awkwardness. Karo just rolled her eyes at him, sighing heavily when he just shrugged his shoulders innocently.
In the meantime, Dean was done with his preparation and made his way to his duffel bag, searching for some tape he would put on his hands as he usually did.
"Uhm…yeah…I guess," Shannon said nervously, her voice shaky. Dean looked at her briefly and smirked when hearing her answer. She was going to stay for the show? Perfect. That meant he was getting laid that night.
Shannon's knees became weak when he looked at her like that. It was like he was telling her with that expression on his face that he was going to fuck her brains out later that day. It was like a telepathic conversation.
"I'm sure you'll enjoy the show," Dean simply said, passing her and lightly touching her arm with his by doing so. She took a deep breath and watched him exit the room, leaving her behind with a head full of thoughts of him fucking her senseless. Once again.
...
Shannon watched as Karolina and Roman danced with each other. Her friend moving her hips seductively against her boyfriend's crotch, a mischievous smile on her face.
The way they were looking at each other made her heart melt. This was something she wanted. She wanted to dance with Dean in between dozens of other people. She wanted to kiss him, run her hands through his hair and show the world how much he meant to her.
Roman and Karolina were enviable. It had taken them a long time to get where they were now, but Roman supported her in everything she did. He had been patient with her, giving her all the time she needed to be able to trust him. He made her fall in love with him just by being her rock. He made her forget about Drew. He showed her what love was really about.
She was happy that her friend was finally able to stand by their relationship publicly. They were such an adorable couple.
"Want a beer?" Seth asked, startling her by his sudden appearance. He offered her a bottle of beer which she thankfully took. She needed alcohol. She needed to numb the pain. The pain Dean caused by completely ignoring her since they had arrived at that club in downtown San José.
"Thanks," she said, giving him a weak smile before turning her attention back to the dance floor.
"They look so happy, don't they?" Seth asked while watching two of his best friends who were now lost in a passionate kiss.
"They do, indeed. They deserve to be happy, especially Karo," she answered, her heart heavy in her chest. She really wanted to be happy for her friend, but at the same time it hurt her to realize that this was something she would never have with Dean.
"You don't seem to be too happy though," Seth presumed, now looking at her expectantly.
She met his gaze and wasn't sure if his eyes were really reflecting worry. She hadn't really spent a lot of time with Seth. He had always kept his distance, but now it seemed as if he had known her forever. She could finally understand why Karo felt so close to him. He was that guy that you could talk to about anything. He always knew when something was bothering you. He was so different compared to other men she'd known before.
"It's nothing really," she lied and broke the eye-contact, not wanting him to see the pain in her face.
"Dean can't give you what Roman gives Karo. Even if he wanted to, he just can't. I really think he likes you, but…I don't know Shannon," he looked at her pitifully and sighed. "Don't fight for his love. You're gonna lose."
Shannon swallowed hard and nodded her head. She didn't want to hear this, but it was the truth. And the truth hurt.
She gave the bottle back to Seth, turned around and made her way out of the way too crowded room without saying goodbye. She wanted to go back home and cry herself to sleep. She should have stayed there after all. Coming to San José was a bad idea.
"Where do you think you're going?" Dean said, suddenly appearing in front of her and stopping her by grabbing her wrist.
"I'm going home. Now would you please back off?" she said through gritted teeth. Who in the hell did he think he was? She wouldn't let him break her even more. He had done enough damage so far.
Dean forcefully dragged her with him, his hand still around her wrist. He quickly made his way through the crowd and suddenly burst through the door of the women's bathroom, making the ladies yelp in shock.
He didn't even pay attention to them and shoved Shannon into one of the stalls, closing the door behind her and locking them in.
"Dean, what do you think you're doing? Let me get outta here or I'm going to scream," she warned, but Dean just smirked at her mischievously.
He pressed his lips onto hers, pinning her hands above her head so that she wasn't able to fight him anymore. She tried her best to get away from him, but as he kept deepening the kiss, she was losing the strength to fight him.
When he started nibbling her earlobe and kissing her neck, a soft moan escaped her lips. Once again he won the game. Dean Ambrose got what he wanted. He always did.
As soon as he realized that she was putty in his hands, he let her go. She immediately buried her hands into his hair, pushing his body closer to hers.
Although her head tried to tell her to leave him and not give in, her heart and her body wanted her to carry on.
Dean didn't bother undressing her completely. He only exposed the parts of her body he wanted and needed. He almost tore her top apart by pulling at it forcefully, so that he could grab her ample breasts only to tease her nipples through the thin fabric of her bra.
"Do you still want to leave now, baby? Is this what you want to do?" he asked, knowing her answer already. She would never be able to turn him down and knowing that put a smile on his face. Shannon was his and if he wanted her, he would always get her.
She didn't answer his question. She wasn't able to speak at all. All she could do was think about what he was about to do next.
As if he could read her mind, he unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down in one fell swoop, letting her step out of them.
Again he crashed his mouth onto hers, their tongues dancing with each other furiously. He tasted like a mixture of whiskey and cigarettes. This was what Dean Ambrose tasted like. And she loved that. She loved everything about him. Even if it meant that he smelled like an ashtray sometimes.
He started unbuckling his belt and opened his jeans shortly afterwards, pushing them down just below his knees. Shoving her panties to the side, he roughly plunged himself into her, making her scream in surprise.
"Oh, you're so wet for me, baby," he said, biting the soft skin of her neck. They could hear people banging on the door and screaming for them to get out of there and get a room. But they didn't care. Nobody would be able to stop them now.
He grabbed her hips and picked her up, making her wrap her legs around his midsection. His thrusts were fast and powerful, but he still kept speeding up minute by minute.
He looked into her eyes and was sure to see not only passion and lust, but also love. And that scared him. He didn't want her to love him. He didn't want her to think that this was an act of love. It wasn't. He just needed his satisfaction and nothing else.
He broke the eye-contact and attacked her neck with his teeth once again. Her moans became even louder now and when he felt her walls tightening around his shaft, he intensified the power of his thrusts, sending her over the edge and making her scream his name.
He kept still, emptying himself into her and enjoying the climax he had just experienced. They were both trying to catch their breaths, still ignoring the people banging on their door.
After a few moments, he slid out of her and pushed up his boxers and pants. They both got dressed in an uncomfortable silence, quickly glancing at one another here and then.
Shannon didn't know what to say. And neither did Dean. It was an awkward situation. A situation Dean wasn't able to handle.
He gently pushed her to the side, opening the door and leaving the women's bathroom in a hurry without looking at her or even saying another word.
Several girls kept yelling at Shannon, but she didn't really notice. She was trying to process what had just happened.
He had used her. Once again. He made it crystal clear that all he wanted was this. Sex. Anywhere he could, anytime he could. He didn't care about her feelings. The only feelings he cared about were the ones involving his dick.
Broken-hearted and with her head hanging low, she made her way out of the club. This time for good. She didn't want to say goodbye to anyone. Not even Karo. She didn't want to see Dean ever again. Seth was right. Dean would never be able to give her what she wanted and needed.
...
She knocked on his door and waited patiently for him to open it. She had been crying all the way from San José to San Francisco, giving her one of the worst headaches she'd ever had.
"Shannon, what happened? What are you doing here?" Gavin asked and looked at her, a worried look on his face.
He took her hand and gently tugged her into his apartment. He had never seen her like this and it broke his heart. He led her into his living room, letting her sit down on his couch and taking the seat next to her. He waited for her to calm down. It didn't make sense to force her into talking. He would wait until she was ready to tell him what had happened.
Gavin put his arm around her and let her cry. She buried her head into his chest, wetting it with the tears that were streaming down her face.
"He doesn't love me," she simply said, her voice shaky.
He knew it. He knew that this Dean guy had broken her heart. He was angry. Angry that this man had hurt this beautiful young woman that was crying her eyes out on his couch in the middle of the night.
"Did he actually say it?" His question was probably a silly one, but he wanted to fully understand what was going on between her and Dean.
She lifted her head, her eyes blood-shoot and teary-eyed.
"No, but he showed me," she started, letting him wipe away her tears with his thumb. "He always does. But you know what? It's my own fault. We agreed to just have sex with each other. I mean, it was a silent agreement but still…and…uh…I don't know. I think I love him and I hate myself for it. Because I knew that he was incapable of loving someone. I've known it from the very beginning. And I'm such a fool for letting him use me. I'm so dumb."
She started sobbing all over again, her whole body shaking. He put his arms around her shoulders and moved closer to her, his heart beating fast in his chest.
How could someone do this to her? She was such a beautiful and lovely human being. She was everything he'd ever wanted. But she wanted someone else. And this someone treated her like shit. And she fell for it each and every time.
"Gavin?" she said quietly, slowly calming down.
"Yes, sweetheart?" He ran his hand through her brown hair, waiting for her to continue.
"Can I stay with you tonight? I don't want to be alone," she answered before looking up at him with a sad expression on her face.
"Of course, I'll just get a blanket and crash on the couch. You can have my bed," he offered, trying to get up but was stopped by Shannon immediately.
"No Gavin, I really don't want to be alone," she said, getting up as well and taking his hand into hers. She led the way to his bedroom, opening the door and making her way over to the bed.
He watched as she removed her clothes, a few tears still streaming down her face. She slid into one side of his bed, only dressed in her lingerie, while looking at him expectantly.
Gavin swallowed hard. He didn't know what she expected him to do. Seeing her in her underwear made him nervous and he wasn't sure how to react now.
He quickly got out of his jeans, his shirt following shortly afterwards. Unsure he made his way over to the bed and slid into the other side of it with her watching his every move.
"I just want to be in your arms tonight," she whispered, moving closer to him and resting her head on his chest.
Gavin tried to control his breathing, but feeling her hot skin on his was making this very difficult. He had to retain himself. He was supposed to be there for her and comfort her. Taking advantage of the situation was the worst thing he could do.
"Good night, Gavin," she said quietly before closing her eyes. She just wanted to sleep. Forget about all the pain she had just endured. She wanted to forget about Dean. And having Gavin there to support her was all she could ask for. She couldn't ask for a better friend.
A friend. Just a friend.
Gavin looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought. Here he was, comforting the woman he longed for after she got screwed by Dean Ambrose – literally. She was heartbroken because of another man.
He so badly wanted to be the man in her life. But he never would. Or would he?