My epic return! (cue confetti and balloons and cheering like mad)

Well, I graduate from high school in 3 days, so no more using school as an excuse for not writing. Crazy senior year crapola is why I was gone so long, among other things like: a dead computer thanks to a virus, lack of creative thought flow, and a sudden and passionate obsession with Adam Lambert.

The first two have been remedied. As for the last thing – well, I like having two Adams to fangirl over, so A-Lam stays. :)

I hope you all are ready for an awesome summer and everything! Go see Adam and Anth on tour, woooo!

P.S. - I love Telly Leung if you're wondering WTH he's doing all the time in these scenes!

ANTHONY:
The theater. The show's just ended. The backstage area is totally empty. The fans are out back staring at a door that leads nowhere, waiting for people to come out from behind it that aren't there. And I'm narrating this because for some reason xRajahx is making me narrate like Mark fucking Cohen does, like I'm really him of some shit like that.

(We see some RENTheads.)

RENTHEAD #1:

No one's here. NO ONE HAS FUCKING SHOWED UP! Not Adam, not Anthony, not even TELLY fucking LEUNG!

RENTHEAD #2:
It's ok.

RENTHEAD #1:
Hey, shut up! Where the fuck is everyone?

RENTHEAD #2:
We've been out here for over an hour. We missed our bus. Let's go.

RENTHEAD #1:

Not until Anthony Rapp kisses me!

RENTHEAD #2:
Great… (rolls eyes)

(The next fifty-five minutes are a blur.)

(At some hotel somewhere, Adam walks in on Anthony narrating strangely to no one.)

ADAM:
Hey, buddy.

ANTHONY:
(as if he were concerned for his safety) Adam! Thank God.

ADAM:
(laughs) I just needed some air, Mother. Now I need to sit. I ran into some RENTheads, and they started chasing me, screaming about how awesome the show was. All I could reply with was, "Thank you so much for coming!" and then I booked it.

ANTHONY:
Are you kidding? Again? More teenage girls?

ADAM:

(shakes head) No, actually. There was an elegant older lady with a cigarette holder. She wanted me to sign it. (shrugs and laughs)

ANTHONY:
(old lady imitation voice) Adam, darling… you're such a charming man with a lovely talent. Please adorn my cig holder with your name, dearie.

ADAM:

(mock scolding in laughter) ANTHONY RAPP!! It's been so long since I've heard you do your old lady voice. I almost didn't recognize you there.

ANTHONY:
My backup career as a grandma will go marvelously then. And I make some delicious cookies too. (points to Mark scarf) And I knit. Shit, I got this on lock.

ADAM:

(cracks up) A GRANDMA? (laughs harder, we get the sense his time with the show has made him a bit delirious… he's losing it, people.)

ANTHONY:
(concerned Grandma voice, comes over to Adam who has collapsed on one of the beds in a giggle fit) You're perspiring a bit heavily, dear. Before those crazy girls start yelling your name again you might want to go and towel off.

ADAM:

(still laughing) That's not sweat on my face, that's TEARS!

TELLY:
(nervously pops head in room) Hellllloo.

ANTHONY:

Hi, Telly.

TELLY:
(comes into the room, sees Adam laughing maniacally, shrugs, and perches himself next to Adam daintily) Pretty good crowd tonight, huh? Not bad, right?

ANTHONY:
Yes. Are you playing Angel now?

TELLY:

Not technically, no. Justin just needed a rest.

ANTHONY:
Well you were awesome, I'm proud of you. (tries to ignore Adam, who is still laughing)

TELLY:

Thanks. (glances at Adam) Is he gonna be ok?

The RENTheads are still sitting outside the theater, one looking like they want to leave, the other determined.

RENTHEAD #1:

(monologuing about RENT dramatically)
Suddenly the theater is full of RENTheads, and the band is tuning up, and just before the
lights go down there is a stir and a latecomer darts for his seat-- Is it? It's -- YES! IT'S HIM!! He's HERE!! My guru of the Musical Theater, the most Interesting Person of all. AN----- R--P! And my excitement... it gathers itself into a ball in my stomach and rises, pulsing, into my throat; it moves on into my skull, where it takes up residence, hissing and shuddering ...and then, miraculously, it keeps going: floating, up, higher, out of my
head entirely, dissolving into the air as it leaves my body -- and what remains behind is pure love and hope. I'm going to see a musical… called RENT... written by Jonathan Larson ... thank you...I don't really have anything to say except thanks for everything, Jonathan, and I die a little even though I've never felt so alive… so now I'd better shut the hell up so these people… these glorious singers and actors can do their work. And I enjoy the show... (hums Tune Up #1)

RENTHEAD #2:

Here we go again…

RENTHEAD #1:

(stops humming) WHERE ARE THEY?!!!! Seriously, I can't believe this…
YOU'RE GONE SOMEWHERE
I'M SITTING ON THE GROUND
YOU'RE NOT AT STAGEDOOR
CAN'T BE FOUND.

I FINALLY SEE THE SHOW
TO MEET YOU - I WOULD DO ANYTHING,
BUT YOU'VE LEFT ME HANGING

I WANT MORE THAN TO HEAR YOU SING

COME TO THE STAGEDOOR
THE HOTEL YOU STAY AT'S NOT SO GREAT
AND IT'S FATE
THAT WE CROSS PATHS

YOU'RE NOT TIRED
OR HOARSE AT ALL AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITHOUT YOU!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I'M GOING TO CRY-
YOU SURE PUT ON A SHOW.
THEATER'S PASSED UP IN THIS DAY AND AGE.
BUT YOU, MY LOVES, REALLY GLOW

ADAM… TONIGHT!
AND ANTHONY… A DREAM!
WHERE - ? THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!

I'M GOING TO SCREAM!

COME TO THE STAGEDOOR,
THE FENCES BETWEEN US MEAN NOTHING
IF I JUMP THEM – AND I WILL.

DON'T YOU REALIZE

I'M A STALKER AND

IT IS ONLY YOU AND ME,
IT IS ONLY ME AND YOU.

BUT NOW THE AIR IS COLD AND SAD
WHERE'S THE BEST NIGHT I EVER HAD?

IT'S NOT COOL TO BE SO COLD

CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE
OUR LOVE IS IMPOSSIBLE
I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH
BUT I GET IGNORED!

COME TO THE STAGEDOOR
REST IS FINE
IF YOU'RE DONE CONVERSING AND CHATTING
AND MEETING WITH ME

ADAM, BE REAL,
YOU LOVE ME,
YOU DON'T NEED CYBELE, LENNON, OR MONTE!
ONLY MEEEE!

TEARS IN MY EYES-
OH WOE IS ME!
DREARY SIGHS
OH ANTHONY!

THE MUSIC IS DYING INSIDE!
IT'S ALREADY ONE A.M… I'LL WAIT 'TIL FIVE!

COME TO THE STAGEDOOR!

COME TO THE STAGEDOOR!

COME TO THE STAGEDOOR!

ADAM AND ANTHONY… YOU'RE MIIIIIIIIIINE!

(The other RENThead leaves.)

BAHAHAHA possessive scary fans. And laughing Adam. XD

That was good fun.

Review if you missed me… and if you liked this. :D

THANKIES! I love yooooou in a totally uncreepy way, reviewers!